Animal Fannies29 Jul 2008 08:49 am
By Kelvin

Thanks to Andrew for spotting Captain Perspective here.

Many here claim that gays are born that way! Let’s for a moment accept that. In a few years or many years later the following say that they’re born that way and are God’s children too:

~Murderers, serial killers, mass murderers
~Rapists, serial rapists, gang rapists
~Paedophiles
~Necrophiliacs
~People indulging in bestiality

WHERE DOES humanity draw a line? Or is it just a case of ‘enough’ people of a particular type getting together and demanding acceptance from the majority? Tell me!

[KING-of-the-APES], Rumble in the Jungle

As Andrew says, “Rather beautiful really. Acceptance of homosexuality is a slippery slope to people murdering kids and then knobbing the corpses. While giving a dog a handjob.”

I like to imagine that when KING-of-the-APES board a bus, he grabs the driver by his lapels and shouts “WHERE DOES this bus go? Do you stop when ‘enough’ people of a particular type ring the bell? Tell me!” Because that would just confirm that he’s an orangutan’s oozing uterus.

38 Responses to “Tell me!”

  1. on 29 Jul 2008 at 8:53 am Scaryduck

    I read that as Papists, who do, in fact, knob corpses.

  2. on 29 Jul 2008 at 9:11 am shoelace

    Do “people indulging in bestiality” only become bestialists if enough of them congregate around the same randy frog? Or are they just dipping a casual, weekend toe into the world of animal-fapping, whereas bestialists are the full on, round the clock squirrel squeezers? Tell me!

  3. on 29 Jul 2008 at 9:33 am fraggle

    I’m imagining him desperately trying to think of a word for “people who indulge in bestiality”.

  4. on 29 Jul 2008 at 9:35 am Paul D. Waite

    WHERE DOES humanity draw a line?

    Er, harm. Murderers cause harm (i.e. by killing people).

    I don’t think anyone will die if morons like you get over the fact that some people fall in love with members of their own gender.

  5. on 29 Jul 2008 at 9:37 am Paul D. Waite

    I’m imagining him desperately trying to think of a word for “people who indulge in bestiality”.

    I know! What a twonk. How hard is it to recall “Welshman”?

  6. on 29 Jul 2008 at 9:39 am shoelace

    I feel let down that he didn’t keep his comparative, list approach.

    ~paedos, serial paedos, unstoppable school-stealers
    ~necrophiliacs, serial necrophiliacs, atomic cemetary ravagers
    ~bestialists, serial bestialists, The Sexual Scourge of Chester Zoo

    His name gives him away. He’s a closet monkey-tickler.

  7. on 29 Jul 2008 at 9:49 am HYSfriend37

    There’s an almost audible “erm…” between the last two items in the list. He really should have put a bit of thought in before setting it down. It would have been better to start with the merely revolting, work up to the undeniably evil, and finish off with people who use bullet lists on message boards.

    And the “Tell me!” is straight out of Simon Quinlank.

  8. on 29 Jul 2008 at 9:57 am Kelvin

    Today’s hobby is shortsighted bigotry and being a bigot. If you haven’t read your weak Daily Mail newspaper yet, read it now!

  9. on 29 Jul 2008 at 9:59 am Pep

    Am I the only one who thinks that murder, rape and paedophilia are worse crimes than rogering a rabbit? On account that the rabbit probably won’t need counselling for bereavement or post-traumatic stress disorder.

    Assuming King of the Apes was building up to the worst and not listing them in order of his personal preference.

  10. on 29 Jul 2008 at 10:00 am Toffee

    I know! What a twonk. How hard is it to recall “Welshman”?

    Ah now come on. I’m half Welsh and we’ve been working hard to stamp out those sorts of shenanigans in the wider population. Sure, there are some of us who love nothing more than a lazy morning in the sack with our favourite furry playmate, or a night out with the lads shagging badgers who are just asking for it (fucking immigrant badger scum) - I mean, who doesn’t, really?? But the rest of us have pulled out all the stops to change our ways and just start knifecriming (TM) kids in a bid to meet government targets and get our pictures in the Daily Mail.

    If you’re going to make sweeping generalisations at least get them right!

  11. on 29 Jul 2008 at 10:03 am Rich (MMath)(Oxon)

    Did he really have to elaborate on rapists? Are gang and serial rapists not classed as rapists? Tell me!

  12. on 29 Jul 2008 at 10:03 am barsnack

    ‘In a few years or many years later the following say that they’re born that way and are God’s children too’

    Well, is it a few years or many? TELL ME!

  13. on 29 Jul 2008 at 10:05 am nibus

    I think he’s suggesting all these are mutually exclusive. What on earth will he do when he realises the potential for necro-bestial-gayrapists? “Bestialnecrorapist dug up my dead dog and gave it arse cancer!”. Some of them might be socialists as well.

  14. on 29 Jul 2008 at 10:06 am Rebel

    You do realise God’s looking on thinking “Well, I’ll lay claim to people who knob the odd puma but prats like him ? Nowt do to with me guvner”.

  15. on 29 Jul 2008 at 10:07 am Kelvin

    Did he really have to elaborate on rapists? Are gang and serial rapists not classed as rapists? Tell me!

    I think the terms you’re looking for are “rugby team” and “professional footballer” respectively.

  16. on 29 Jul 2008 at 10:09 am skunkpussy

    Or is it just a case of ‘enough’ people of a particular type getting together and demanding acceptance from the majority?

    You mean like Christian Voice? TELL ME!!!

  17. on 29 Jul 2008 at 10:25 am Another Paul

    I’m so depressed by people like this.

  18. on 29 Jul 2008 at 10:38 am Dr Shade

    What a syphilitic nutsack.

    Obviously the kind of bloke who equates gay with being a mass-murdering kiddie-rapist but who jizz-stains his purple nylon y-fronts at the the thought of a bit of hot girl-on-girl action.

    I bet his DVD collection includes the now classic “Lesbo Nun Spank Inferno 3″

  19. on 29 Jul 2008 at 10:41 am The Incrediblr Mr Eek

    “On account that the rabbit probably won’t need counselling for bereavement or post-traumatic stress disorder”.

    It might need it but it’s never going to get it.

  20. on 29 Jul 2008 at 10:46 am Mooska

    As my partner says, of *course* they’re not born that way. What they do is, they actually CHOOSE to expose themselves to ridicule, abuse and, often, violence at precisely the time of their lives when everyone most wants to fit in with the crowd and be accepted. It’s obvious when you think about it.

  21. on 29 Jul 2008 at 10:56 am Mr O

    This drivel is one of the best examples of why I’m addicted to SYB. It manages to make me feel good about myself while at the same time hoping that we all come to the sticky end we deserve.

    King of the Apes?

    King of the cunts more like.

  22. on 29 Jul 2008 at 11:05 am dirigible

    “It might need it but it’s never going to get it.”

    Ah. A native rabbit.

  23. on 29 Jul 2008 at 11:09 am Petpete

    I can’t help but feel that this all might have something to do with Lenny Henry staying in Premier Inns all the time:
    “I’ve found something small time….my cock”.

    Sorry, this was a bit of a non-sequitar.

  24. on 29 Jul 2008 at 12:08 pm lisa simpson

    next thing you know he’ll be trying to tell us that those nasty brown people weren’t born that way and are just following a lifestyle choice.

  25. on 29 Jul 2008 at 12:21 pm The Digger

    People murdering kids and then knobbing the corpses. While giving a dog a handjob.

    Are you stalking me?

  26. on 29 Jul 2008 at 1:34 pm a.m

    I love the idea of people “indulging” in bestiality. It makes the act of fucking a dog seem so luxurious. I bet Nigella Lawson “indulges” in bestiality.

  27. on 29 Jul 2008 at 1:37 pm Oliver

    Does it strike anyone else that the inclusion of Necrophiliacs, and Besti…beast…animal fuckers for that matter is more than a little odd?

    I mean murder, rape and peeedos is usual HYS fodder, but even the Daily Mail doesn’t do screaming headlines on hoardes of furtive gentlemen breaking into mortuarys at night.

  28. on 29 Jul 2008 at 2:20 pm Joe C

    @ Oliver:

    Obviously you didn’t read the recent Daily Mail article entitled “Will This Evil Bestiality Affect Your Property Value?”

  29. on 29 Jul 2008 at 2:52 pm Pep

    “It might need it but it’s never going to get it.”

    If it was a gay, immigrant rabbit with terrorist tendencies it would. Coming over here, taking all our counselling then hiding bombs in their burrows to blow up normal white working class British people!

    It’s PC-ness gone mad I tell you.

  30. on 29 Jul 2008 at 3:44 pm shoelace

    “If it was a gay, immigrant rabbit with terrorist tendencies it would”

    Or worse, a Badger.

  31. on 29 Jul 2008 at 4:47 pm fogbat

    I love the idea of people “indulging” in bestiality. It makes the act of fucking a dog seem so luxurious. I bet Nigella Lawson “indulges” in bestiality.

    I bet she licks her fingers afterwards, while staring at the camera.

    *faps*

  32. on 29 Jul 2008 at 5:47 pm DC

    Isn’t it the Catholics who think everybody is “born” a certain way, but you should resist temptation and not “indulge” in masturbation of a pig on national television for fame, money, and to possibly get your rocks off. Yet of course they also believe in Predestinisation…so in fact you should resist temptation, but its already predestined whether or not you will fail.

    So Catholics have already fulfilled “enough” people in my book; everybody might as well murder someone now, then copulate with their corpse with a hamster up your back passage.

    He also forgot to mention:
    ~Members of the BNP

  33. on 29 Jul 2008 at 5:52 pm Kelvin

    I don’t think the catholics believe in predestination. They believe in Free Will, which sounds great until you realise they also believe in Original Sin so whatever you do your soul is stained and you’re fucked. Which is probably even nastier than predestination.

    Also, I think the only reason they’re so homophobic is because consenting gay sex means the altar boys have a chance to say no.

  34. on 29 Jul 2008 at 6:05 pm DC

    You’re right, faulty remembrance of A-Level European history right there on display. Twas Calvin. :D

  35. on 29 Jul 2008 at 10:57 pm Tom

    How about if we draw the line at people who cause harm? Or is that a bit obvious?

  36. on 30 Jul 2008 at 1:17 am Mal

    Separated at birth?

    There can be no viler act, apart from homosexuality, than sexually abusing innocent children.

    Iris Robinson MP(!)

  37. on 30 Jul 2008 at 9:58 am What if?

    What if the children are not so inncoent? Is it okay to sexually abuse them then?

    consenting to commit acts, and not consenting to be murdered or raped or to be animal fucked. Simple really.

  38. on 30 Jul 2008 at 11:43 am Helen

    Iris Robinson - MP for Strangford in Northern Ireland apparently doesn’t understand the difference between consenting sex between members of the same sex…and abusing children.

    How thick is the rest of the population in Strangford?

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