After his stellar showing of church moderniser to paedophile apologist in one fell swoop of illogic, I thought it might be worth keeping an eye on the man in charge of the Ship of Fools.
What are Britain’s new social evils?
Britain’s new (and top ten) social evils (in no particular order):
New Labour
Nu LabourB liar Labour
Brown ed off (with) LabourNeo Labour
unap Plod ded LabourNeo conned Labour
Brown-nosed LabourGo (r) down Labour
Rob the poor Labour
Captain-in-the-Dock, Lost ‘n’ Found in Britain
You don’t think you maybe lost it at about the point you came up with “unap Plod ded Labour” do you? Perhaps you should stick to the Sudoku rather than trying your hand at the crossword.
Whether Spielberg is right or wrong is a very minor issue. The larger issue is whether the Chinese care about such futile token pressures. Me thinks the Chinese are far ahead of the game. Similar pressures were applied recently regarding Burma? What happened? Nothing!
Another interesting aspect is the timing of all this sudden awareness of human rights in China. When the Olympic Games were awarded to China what was the human rights situation? In what way & to what extent is it different now?
Captain-in-the-Dock, Lost ‘n’ Found in Britain
Well, let’s see. There was this little thing, hardly even worth it to call it an incident, a tiny little happening. A happening-ette. The very quantum unit of an event. It was called The Tiananmen Square Massacre. People who have the slightest awareness of current events outside their own country heard of it, oh, just about 20 years ago. But of course there was no Olympic Coverage for you to have an opinion about it then.
Should the “Mosquito” anti-teen device be banned?
“have RSPCA been asked what this does to dogs after all they need to be taken into account.” Derek, Dorset, 12 Feb, 11:03
A very good point! I’ve nothing against dogs or cats or animals! As a supposedly ‘higher’ animal we should protect them.
Generalising means:
Cats, Dogs & Animals in general Have rights!
Unruly teenagers & yobs Have Human rights!What am I forgetting?
A billion blistering barnacles!
What about the Rights of the VICTIMS???!!!
Hello! Hello!! Anybody home??!
Captain-in-the-Dock, Lost ‘n’ Found in Britain
It’s true, you know. Just the other day I found myself the victim of some Teenagers Standing Around Doing Nothing. I was walking to the tube station and they looked at me. If it weren’t for this stupid Human Rights legislation there’d have been no obstacle to me chopping their fucking hands off, and deservedly so!
“He looked good on camera, but thats about it. He wasnt a very good actor.” steven morris, dorset, U K Recommended by 22
11 Feb 2008 18:00The grammar & spelling in this comment are great! What are you 23 people on? Preferences can’t be legislated but most people here and in general would agree that he was a good/great actor and not a looker!
But please get a life; all of you. Criticising even when someone passes away is ???
Captain-in-the-Dock, Lost ‘n’ Found in Britain
…is exactly what you just did?
Mr Sherrard-…believed the advert was not irresponsible nor offensive and would therefore “not be withdrawing this ad” and would “not provide the ASA with any of the undertakings they seek”.
The proof of the pudding is in the eating! The kind of adverts you’re defending are fine as long as they don’t affect anyone close to you. Right?
Sire! Are you married? How many daughters do you have? How many underage girls in your extended family? How would you react if one of them came to harm??!
Captain-in-the-Dock, Lost ‘n’ Found in Britain
Are you offering?
It’s a bit late to ask that question! With the current lot in power for over a decade, I’ve been like Humpty Dumpty since I don’t know when!
Captain-in-the-Dock, Lost ‘n’ Found in Britain
Fat, stupid, and needing a whole regiment of horsemen to keep you going?
Council tax to go up by 5% & police pay rise must be “under 2% to keep inflation under control.”!
Inflation is caused when too much money chases too few goods. This means that consumers create a huge demand for goods. Supply can’t meet that demand & the prices go up. Fine!
What has council tax got to do with demand? The councils say they are being asked to do more with less funds & Whitehall says this isn’t true!
REALLY beggars belief! Bah!
International waters ARE the best! I’m off!
Captain-in-the-Dock, Lost ‘n’ Found in Britain
If only I could believe it.
Arrrrrrrrrrrrr!
(sehole)
My brane hurts
Sire?
My brain has become too overwhelmed to question any further. He’s an inflation-busting economic genius.
Sire? Go (r) Down Labour?
Sire?
Tell me!
Me thinks the Captain is a cunt.
I hate a lot of people, but I think Captain-in-the-Dock is near the top of the list.
He’s a halibut’s hole.
“International waters ARE the best! I’m
off!”
Tax rates are really low if you live in the sea and best of all there are no wogs there. Look at the olympics over the last decades! There are no black swimmers winning medals. Was Duncan Goodhew wearing a turban? Was Mark Spitz black? Thought not. Unless the PC-brigade have been out teaching muslims to swim. You c ould’nt make it up.
Genius, sire. Genius. “unap Plod ded Labour” really is a shining nugget of something.
(We might discuss the human rights requirements that the International Olympic Committee specified in some detail when they awarded the games to Beijing, but that would be boring.)
The best bits are when he suddenly remembers the persona he’s trying to play and drops in a nautical reference.
Please tell me his name isn’t a pun on Captain Haddock out of Tintin. That would just be ???
Prithee, methinks Catweezle hath learn’d of the electrickery and has conjured upon the magic box to add scripture to the interwebs.
That’s the only way I can explain the balding stoat minge’s confusion with the 21st Century.
He’ll be complaining about vassals, tinkers and strolling minstrels next. And as for all these bloody pilgrims!
Sire! Me thinks thou art a weevil’s unapploded banjo string???
Tell me!
“Inflation is caused when too much money chases too few goods”
yes, i always think as i walk around all those shops that what we have is too few goods. we should build more shops on greenfield sites to give us more goods to help bring prices down.
what an atrophied loris’ mimsy
Amazing hwo the indertion of a space turns a comment from a slightly pretentious attempt at highbrow commentary into the gruff meanderings of as caveman.
So why is he in the Dock? Is it because he’s not allowed out to sea in his glorified Li-lo anymore after too many rescues, hence his ‘address’? Or was it buggering the cabin boy? Either way he is a prawns pudenda.
HYS poetry is probably the closest we’ll ever get to hearing real life Vogon poetry.
You say that like there’s no such thing as Livejournal.
IT IS HELL ON EARTH, PEOPLE!!! WAKE UP, OPEN YOUR MIND, TEENAGERS AND YOBS ARE ALREADY EQUAL TO MEN, NEXT STOP IS ANIMALS EQUAL TO TEENAGERS AND YOBS, which means to MEN, WHAT A SHAME!!
My Elie runs deep, So deep,
puts my brain to sleep
Host of the HYSers make me laugh at them. This guy actualy makes me angry.
So in summary - ‘Captain-in-the-Dock’ does not believe victims come under the subsection human.
So, has anyone figured out what ‘unap Plod ded Labour’ was intended to mean?
Is that really what generalising means?
“What about the Rights of the VICTIMS???!!!”
Awww fuck the so-called “VICTIMS”. I get fed up with namby-pamby liberals on the right constantly whining on about the alleged hardships “suffered” by this week’s favourite victims. So some fuck got stabbed at the weekend? Who, who gives a shit for fuck’s sake? It’s no big deal. He’ll get a couple of week’s extra holiday from work and a blow job from one of the nurses if plays his cards rite. (You couldn’t make this up!). How many victims have you actually met? That’s right, none. They’re all driving away in porsches that they get from the compensation paid out of the TAXPAYER’S MONEY!!!!! Our troops, God Bless ‘Em, are getting killed in Afghanistan because we can’t afford to buy them body armour yet we’re buying porsche’s (GERMAN CARS!!!!!!£) for people who got nothing more than a flesh wound and some “duelling scars” that they can brag about to birds, when they would never have even got knifed if they stayed in their own crime-ridden backward countries. We need pre-emptive capital punishment now! It’s better to hang 100 innocent people than let one savage knifecriming immigrint walk free. Someone might get hurt.
alt-f4’s right! What we need in this country is MORE knifecrime not LESS. We have to toughen up our youth in preparation for the inevitable muslim invasion from France. First things first we need to blow up the channel tunnel. All white kids should be taught knifefighting skills as part of the national curriculem and required to carry them for self defense at all times. Moslims and other immigrint scum would need licenses to possess any kind of knife (remember 911 people!) but they would never be issued so they need not apply. I’m not encourgaing white kids to go out and provoke muslims into over-reacting with a wave of racially motivated stabbings in muslim infested areas, but there may of course be isolated incidents. Kids will be kids you know.
alt-f5 (have never met alt-f4, we’re not relations or anything).
Now calm down everybody! Remember we’re British and we’re proud. We are not victims.
Aren’t the true victims here the indigenous white kids forced into knifecrime as the only means of expressing themselves in their own country?
If we had never the let the victims into the country, there would be less knifecrime. Think about it.
The so-called victims should remember they are guests in our country. The namby-pamby socialist PC-EU Legions do not currently allow us to legally drive them out, but this could change. Sooner than you think me thinks.
Is he trying to be sarcastic here? In which case he’s a prize twonk. Because the only mistakes this guy has made are punctuation ones.
It’s just as well this plank got all his SPAG right. Otherwise he’d look really silly. Oh, wait:
“Unapplauded”, I think. I’m still laughing out loud about that today.
WHAT A STUPID FUCKING TWAT!!!1!?? END OF!!!!One,,,
Ah…thanks, I’ve spent the last few years translating what my 3-year-old means, but that one was a bit beyond me.
That first one is strangely reminiscent of Karl Pilkington’s Rockbusters.
I have to say, reading the HYS top recommended comments on the ‘Social Evils’ question has actually got me fucking terrified.
Are there THAT MANY people that purely blame Teh NuLabour Guvvinment for all of the country’s social ills, or is there just a small crowd of them with multiple user accounts all recommending each other’s comments?
I also actually feel a bit sick that people out there see fit to list their single, top evil facing this country today as ‘Socialism’…
On the subject of social evils:
I chose to hilariously mis-interpret this one.
“Advertisers and marketers aiming fat and alcohol at children.”
Wot?
No jizz?
Missed opportunity there me thinks.
Or possibly a problem, I dunno.
Did you mean: unexploded
No standard web pages containing all your search terms were found.
Your search - unapplodded - did not match any documents.
I thoroughly agree. Which is why I visit Holland on such a regular basis, those ladies sure know how to …..
*ahem*
Move along, nothing to see here.
perhaps the humpty dumpty reference is about being smashed for the last 11 years. That level of alcohol intake would explain a lot.