Thanks to Ben. I like this one. After fabricating this exciting story (or perhaps hearing it 5th hand via a chain of drunken, credulous simpletons), “skinnymuppet” obviously decided that it sounded fucking daft. He/she came up with a clever solution to this problem and has turned it from potted arse-beef into thoughtful debate, simply by adding “Consider this” on the front. Works a treat. You’d never guess it was going to be a load of insane nobgrease.
Consider this: Do 35 in 30 limit, punishment: £60 and 3 points. Now, the following is true: Fail to stop for Police, travel at 70 in a 30 whilst being chased, reverse into a Police car writing it off, drive through a park, seriously injure insecure passenger in rear of pursued van due to manner of driving, fight with Police when finally stopped. Punishment? £40 more than doing 35 in a 30. Still need to ask the question? Criminals laugh at the rest of us because there is no deterent
[skinnymuppet], United Kingdom
I saw a bloke doing ALL that and uploading the footage to YouTube WHILST RAPING A HORSE and he got GIVEN a £50 WHSmiths voucher and a hotdog and a large fries and a family-size drink and £50,000 and a fancy hat AND had a ride in a policecar AND he was allowed to wear the policeman’s hat ALL DAY. Meanwhile, the rest of us live in fear of the Zimbabwe Knives Mafia or maybe rocket-propelled paedos. Or muslim homo-speed-cameras. Or something. Anyway, I’m not sure what’s going on but I do know I’m fucking terrified. Or maybe just angry. Or confused. Mark my words.
40 Responses to “Consider This”
Yes! I sent that in! Huzzah for me!
That poor insecure passenger is going to have such issues now.
injured in the rear too, ouchie.
We need less deterent for criminals and more detergent. it’s nearly always the poor in society that are the criminals and everyone knows that the poor smell. give them the means to tidy themselves up a bit and there’ll be no more of this nonsense.
That last paragraph’s pretty impressive, Nelson. But unfortunately, one real-life mentalist has way outdone anything you can imagine, at least as far as driving offences go:
http://www.ntnews.com.au/article/2008/07/31/4887_ntnews.html
Adam
That may be the most amusing thing I have ever read!
Choice line: “Brendon Alan Erhardt, 39, was granted bail so he could marry his girlfriend of six months before he goes to jail.”
I bet she’s just thrilled!!
I choose to believe he misspelled ‘detergent’ in that last sentence rather than misspelling ‘deterrent’. I don’t know why.
Murder someone by accident, 15 years. Do it on purpose, 15 years. There’s no deterrent!
Doesn’t say what limit he is on about.
Is that the child murdering limit? If so I guess 3 points is a bit harsh for going 5 over, but a £60 fine is still only £12 per fatality. Not bad.
No. I have a new question instead:
What the hell are you talking about?
“Fail to stop for Police, travel at 70 in a 30 whilst being chased, reverse into a Police car writing it off, drive through a park, seriously injure insecure passenger in rear of pursued van due to manner of driving, fight with Police when finally stopped”
That’s sounds like a seriously fucking great night out! They’re obviously party animules in da hood where skinnymuppet hangs with the bros & hoes.
Only £20 to go on a off-roading joyride through a park, write off a police car, have a fight with the scuffers and then end up laughing like a twat at the public? BARGAIN! Alton Towers will end up going bankrupt at this rate…
Where do I sign up?
Adam
those aussies are cunts
“The court heard the cannabis was worth $136,000 if sold by the gram in Darwin — or double that in indigenous communities.”
1st they steal there land, then they hunt them for sport and now it’s double the going rate for a bit of puff.
thanks for that nelson. you cheered me up a treat.
loving the policeman’s hat!
Brogan
no wonder the poor cunts have to resort to sniffing petrol.
I *heart* Skinnymuppet.
He has the big brassy balls to call it like it is and all you scoffy-scoff commies just can’t face that you’re living in a Marxist tax-dictatorship and Britain is being washed away by internationalists who hate white people. Prove what he says isn’t true.
Tell me !!1
…and I thought legal couriers were shit.
I saw this lad, of working age, loitering on a street corner doing absolutely nothing at all. Of course, I was suspicious immediately. It was the middle of the day. Why wasn’t he at work? He looked like he might have been on drugs so I was a bit wary, but I think he was maybe acting as a lookout. Fearing a knifecrime might be waiting to happen I looked for a policeman. And when I found one do you know what he did? That’s right. Nothing. Nothing at all. I couldn’t believe it. When I got home I told me husband about it and the first thing he asked me was if the offender was black. Then of course it struck me. It’s political correctness gone mad. The poor policeman was afraid to take this criminal addict off the British streeets in case the human rights pc-goon-platoon accuses him of predujicism.
We’ve had a enough. My husband and I feel like immigrants in our own country so we’re leaving and going to live in a country that isn’t afraid to pass tough laws against immigrints.
I forgot to add, I bet the post above never gets posted.
It’s exactly the sort of subversive crap that would get moderated out of existence if I’d only put some effort in.
Marry his girlfriend of six months? Those paedos are getting sicker. You couldn’t make it up.
Feck me, only 70mph in a 30mph zone. Soft bastards. I bet they paid the fecking fine as well the twats.
This is why I’m voting BNP!!11! You culdnt mak it up!
It’s simpler than BNP or PC or anything you wanna take a deep-rooted psychological view of. Stop trying to be clever.
I got attacked tonight. For no reason at all.
Why shouldn’t the innocent, good people of this country go around and knife every dodgy trouble maker we see. Because it’s illegal. Doesn’t matter though does it, because we’ll only get a few years for good behaviour.
Why be good people in the UK? What’s in it for us? Why can’t we carry non-lethal weapons.
If the judicial system here worked in the victims and law abiding peoples favour, we wouldn’t be talking about self defense.
Amen! I bet they don’t have the balls to print this!!!!! you lot should just get a life. Simple as.
FACTS people!!!!!!!!!!!
You load of Guardian reading pinko, immigrant loving, loony leftards ARE SLEEPWALKING INTO HELL UNDER THE THUMB OF THE ZaNULABORE hegemony. ITS LIKE LORD OF THE FLIES OUT THERE PEOPLE! B(r)ow(n) [down to the Eurocrats] and Bliar and their centrist policies have let this happen. We need to bring back hanging. End of.
David’s right! We should stop trying to be clever. We should all start trying to be really stupid instead. If we want a country where people don’t live in fear of being attacked indiscriminately, we should be able to go around attacking people we don’t like the look of.
More random attacks = fewer random attacks, it’s obvious when you think about it.
Yeah! Take that, JFK, you dead conspiracy-theorist-magnet.
Is David’s post a joke, troll, or what? It’s pretty easy to write a response, so I’ll assume he’s being serious:
I wasn’t trying to be clever. It took less than a second to pop in here and post some bile. It’s a personal purge you see, otherwise I’d probably have killed myself by now from depression, due to all the complete cock-suckers on HYS.
Sorry to hear that, although am not sure if you’re being serious.
One other thing about this: if you were attacked tonight, then you’re not in the right frame of mind to judge on these issues. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it’s true.
There are five reasons (I can think of), and it certainly is not just because it’s illegal:
you will no longer be innocent or good as a result;
you have no definition for a ‘dodgy trouble maker’;
you have no right to be the judge, jury and executioner of anyone;
all people have rights, even if you don’t like the person;
if you are knifing people, you are part of the problem;
(not sure if Nelson’s blog can handle HTML lists, so sorry if the above comes out a garbled mess)
The line of thinking you’re going down is similar to the one where pediatrician’s houses are vandalised because the mob is too stupid to realise the difference between a child molester and a doctor specialising in the medical care of children. Ask yourself this: was that mob full of innocent, good people in your opinion?
A few years?! In prison? You should listen to yourself. This would be the right-wing ‘got to have a deterrant!’ lie. Unfortunately it’s just wishful thinking, it didn’t work in the past and it’s not going to work now. We’ll just end up with bigger tax bills and crime rates no better.
The way to tackle crime is at the source, prevention is better than cure. Frankly, if a person is going to prison, it means the system has already failed. Completely and utterly.
Not getting attacked is a good reason. If the country descended into chaos, which is what you’re suggesting, you can expect a lot more beatings. Looking forward to joining a gang to protect yourself?
Self-defense is going out and knifing anyone you don’t like the look of?!
Gnome Secretary for PM, the leadership challenge is on, bitches!
If you like knifecrime so much, why don’t you go commit it?
One of the many reasons I want white middle class HYSers to contribute here is for them to explain, when so many of them wring their pastey white hands with self pity about being ignored, and a minority, and about how they work hard all their lives and get fucked in the ass daily with an enormous, ribbed taxpenis while criminals get sent on nice holidays and get fed free delicious and nutritious meals, put in lovely brand new Wimpy homes in a nice part of town and generally get looked after really well, why they don’t put their money where their pathetic pink mouths are and go and live this life of crime and luxury?
Seriously, stop fucking moaning and go out and steal stuff, or kill things.
Pre-emptive strike is so hot right now!
“The way to tackle crime is at the source, prevention is better than cure. Frankly, if a person is going to prison, it means the system has already failed. Completely and utterly.”
But what the namby-pamby wishy-washy liberal immigrant-badger loving PC Brigade scum always fail to realise is that - in the good old days, before all this “rehabilitation” bollocks and making sure every crim has a colour telly & a playstation in his comfy little “cell” so’s he can watch the pedoporn his mates smuggle in on visiting days - prison *WAS* prevention!
You got sent down for a stretch, you did mind-numbing labour for most of the day then shared a sweat-&-piss stinking little cell with 2 or 3 other cons who beat the crap out of you and spit-roasted you for fun every night and when you finally get back out in the real world the last thing you are EVER going to want to do is go back there so you make damn sure you don’t break the law ever again!
See? THAT’s how to prevent more crime!!!
And the really serious criminals or repeat offenders get shipped off to Australia where they’re someone else’s problem.
Joy on a bike - it’s NOT rocket science people!!!
This deserves some sort of award. It’s more delicious than Kate Bush’s used cotton wipes.
Sod this. I say we all go out and kill everyone and let God sort ‘em all out.
(Relax I’m Christian)
A crimial laughed at me once so I stuffed him up a dead whale’s gash.
That’ll Teach him.
End of
oops my key is a bit sticky. Ser es it right for eing on the otto row…
Dr Shade:
“But what the namby-pamby wishy-washy liberal immigrant-badger loving PC Brigade scum always fail to realise is that - in the good old days, before all this “rehabilitation” bollocks and making sure every crim has a colour telly & a playstation in his comfy little “cell” so’s he can watch the pedoporn his mates smuggle in on visiting days - prison *WAS* prevention!
You got sent down for a stretch, you did mind-numbing labour for most of the day then shared a sweat-&-piss stinking little cell with 2 or 3 other cons who beat the crap out of you and spit-roasted you for fun every night and when you finally get back out in the real world the last thing you are EVER going to want to do is go back there so you make damn sure you don’t break the law ever again!
See? THAT’s how to prevent more crime!!!”
This is such a good quality satire I actually started to get annoyed reading it.
I couldn’t help but comment when I saw this.
The quoted comment was, as you know, from the BBC ‘have your say’ page, see link: http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?threadID=9580&edition=1&ttl=20080827173601
The ‘insane nobgrease’ as you so eloquently put is infact true. The reason I know this is that I witnessed the incident, followed the court case and am the author of the original post.
‘nobgrease’ hahaha
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