You each go out and find a HSYer, push them off a cliff, plant a few trees to offset the carbon cost of the cremation. Bingo. Your carbon footprint cut in half! This has an added bonus of making the world a better place and as they cannot then breed, you can pass the savings on to future generations.

So when IS my brain going to be fixed? I’ve read the entry again and it’s now hurting so much that it doesn’t hurt at all as much as something that hurts a lot less at a previous time in the future. Tell me!

As established on a previous thread, shoelace: If it broke your brane, DON’T DO IT AGAIN!

Quick! Everyone! Burn the stupids!

Better still, burn the Romas! Freeloading bastards, ruining my holiday.

Quick! Everyone! Burn the stupids!

It’s been banned. Releases too much bozone.

Tell you what, I’ll start earning my fortune by stockpiling human corpses and using the energy generated from burning their bodies to buy myself a house in the Caribbean. But not Antigua.

Quick! Everyone! Burn the stupids!

CO2… ONE MOLECULE OF WHICH CONSISTS OF ONE (1) CARBON ATOM COVALENTLY BONDED TO TWO (2) OXYGEN ATOMS, NOT, AS YOU APPEAR TO IMPLY, TWO (2) CARBON ATOMS, WHICH… WOULD BE HIGHLY UNSTABLE, LIKELY TAKING THE FORM DURING ITS BRIEF LIFETIME OF AN ETHYNE DIRADICAL

That’s almost exactly what our pub ‘hardman’ yelled before hospitalising the pub’s annoying bar-propping know-it-all, last Saturday. Except, I think he bellowed ‘Methyne Diradical’. But it was difficult to hear properly over the sound of his pint glass exploding on the bar-nob’s face.

You don’t need oil, you just run on the spot for 30 seconds. Shops will have treadmills and exercise bikes instead of chip’n’pin devices.

Interesting idea. It’s batshit insane, but in some impossible way, I like it.

Fat people will be in an interesting situation - even though they’re really lazy and unfit, they’re carrying around masses of fuel reserves.

Fatties often get diarrhea, due to the bad food they eat, so why not have special toilets with water wheels fitted.

As the fatties sit on the toilet for forty minutes, excreting last nights McDonalds followed by pizza and a curry, they push the wheel around to generate energy. At the worst it could be used to grind up wheat to make flour.

Or all McDonalds with more than one floor could be fitted with a giant people wheel. Fat people who have yet to eat, get on at the bottom, whilst fat people who have already eaten, get on at the top. The fat people who’ve eaten get on at the top and weight the wheel down until it descends, which both generates energy and lifts those yet to eat, up to the top!

C02 or whatever it is called

HA HA HA YOU PUT A ZERO INSTEAD OF A CAPITAL O YOU FUCKING RETARD AND NOW YOUR ARGUMENT IS DISCREDITED AND YOUR VIEWS - LIKE YOUR LIFE - ARE WORTHLESS BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW THAT O IS THE IUPAC APPROVED SYMBOL FOR OXYGEN AND THAT CO2 ‘OR WHATEVER IT IS CALLED’ IS THE SYMBOL FOR CARBON DIOXIDE, ONE MOLECULE OF WHICH CONSISTS OF ONE (1) CARBON ATOM COVALENTLY BONDED TO TWO (2) OXYGEN ATOMS, NOT, AS YOU APPEAR TO IMPLY, TWO (2) CARBON ATOMS, WHICH, EVEN IF WE IGNORE THE FACT THAT SUCH A SPECIES WOULD BE HIGHLY UNSTABLE, LIKELY TAKING THE FORM DURING ITS BRIEF LIFETIME OF AN ETHYNE DIRADICAL, CONTAINS A SUPERFLUOUS ZERO IN ITS NAME AND THEREFORE DOES NOT CONFORM TO IUPAC REGULATIONS ON NOMENCLATURE.

Shopkeeper: That’ll be three kilojoules please.

You don’t need oil, you just run on the spot for 30 seconds. Shops will have treadmills and exercise bikes instead of chip’n'pin devices. Cheap shit from Netto will cost you a quick waggle of the arm, whereas the equivalent Waitrose product will see you having to run 3 miles. Instead of asking whether small shops take Switch, you’ll have to ask whether you can shine a light onto their photodiode.

Fat people will be in an interesting situation - even though they’re really lazy and unfit, they’re carrying around masses of fuel reserves. Thin poor people, who have to set fire to stolen walnuts in order to buy their groceries, will do drive-by slicings of the obese - knifecrime will soar as agile teens cut chunks of precious blubber from the slow moving fatties, stripping them of their savings. This is your future, ozhika - a dystopian nightmare of exercise and knifecrime. Be careful what you wish for.

Erm…..
Length average, girth thick
Oops wrong site.

Erm,

Send them all back!! Yeah, damn Mancs!