Industrious But You Can’t Trust Them
By NelsonWhat on earth shall we do about China? Shall we smile indulgently at their funny little ways? Or scream our fear of their tiny, industrious hands? Have you visited China? Did you see a documentary about it? Perhaps Michael Palin went there? Do you find the Chinese inscrutable but always very honourable? Maybe your mother is half-Chinese? Or maybe you once doinked an Oriental-looking bird in Hull? Your half-baked opinions are required!
China will become a threat to our country because this huge nation will compete with us for scarce resources. What makes it more of a threat than India is the way the Chinese seem to be willing to work fo, or make, sacrifices for the “Glory” of China. Countries which mobilise people for “Glory” are rarely peaceful to neighbouring states.
This is similar to our own history. It is only now, with improved human rights and full democracy are we asking “Who benefits from such glory and expansion?”
Andrew Taggart, CHippenham
Ah. We’re so wise now, Andrew. So wise. Yet, with all we’ve learned, how can we compete with endless rows of Chinese workers all prepared to die for the Glory of the motherland?
It is worrying that Britain these days finds it very easy to make allies of Communist states and I say that because I think its not that the Communist states change but because Britain becomes increasingly Communist
[Janedarc], London, United Kingdom
If I were you, I’d burn down your bungalow before the state requisitions it to store surplus grain.
I,ve always had an admiration for China and the Chinese people.
This dates back to the seventies and the show : The Water Margins”. [...]
Jan, Netherlands
Thanks Jan!
And finally, thanks to Rupert for sending me this last one.
I am worried about China’s economic expansion. As more and more goods are produced in this thriving nation, I fear that the needs of tall people will be overlooked.
I am 6′4″ and will feel silly sitting on a chair that has been designed for someone who is 5′2″, for example.
We need to ensure that China remains friendly with the UK, otherwise they will ignore the needs of taller people.
Jolly Green Giant, London
Nuke the slitty eyed fuckers before they get the drop on us.
sorry I came over all american for a moment there.
I for one will never buy his racist sweetcorn again… END OF!
This is a kind of fresh madness.
I know they’re all a bit simple, and that they are generally typing through a haze of blood-red fury engendered by thoughts of forens, or women or somesuch, but do they REALLY think that Britain is displaying any tendencies towards the communist? I mean, really? Really really really? Just how far right-wing would be right-wing enough for these people? What if it all went so right-wing that it came back out the other side and ended up as left-wing? What would they do then?
Tell me!
I can see a Michael-the-Geordie off of TV’s Alan Partridge justification waiting to happen in the tiny, overheated HYS brains there, talking about chinkies. It’s not racist because it’s also a type of food.
I’ll see your inane The-world-is-basically-a-TV-dramashow comment and raise you to a whole new level
I might join NASA actually, cos Star Trek looks great. Beam me up, HYS.
Does anyone know what ‘The Water Margins’ was? I’ve never heard of it…
I’m imagining it as some sort of earlier version of Takeshi’s Castle, but using water torture methods instead of funny/painful assault courses. Those crazy foreigners!
I saw it a couple of times. I think it was something about ancient feudal China and featured a lot of blokes jumping around with swords.
Which, of-course, was a Japanese TV production of a 16th century Chinese novel.
STOMME KLOOTZAK!
hmmm, i prefer my version
i think the chinese are great. i like their food.
not so keen on them taking the world over in some fucked up post apocalyptic nightmare war in order for them to take the last of the worlds resources in a blodbath of sacrificial death or glory.
I’m willing to bet, oooh at least a pound that not one of these fucktards was even remotely bothered about China until the BBC started running its wall to wall campaign on the countries human rights and civil liberty issues.
Imagine how astonished I was to find from another website that apparently China is holding some big athletics event or something over the next two weeks.
… wall to wall campaign …
Good work Oliver!!!
PS: The Chinese: they’re all short aren’t they. Apart from the world’s tallest man, obviously.
The Water Margin is a historical epic - one of the great classical novels of chinese literature. As any fule kno. It’s about the warlord Song Jiang and his 100 and odd bandits. Japanese TV made a version of it in the seventies and it was shown on UK TV in the eighties. It featured loads of blokes waving swords and flags and looked like it was mostly filmed on slagheaps in Wales.
I preferred Monkey.
Having said that I’m pretty freaked out by the prospect of world domination by these oriental midgets. Perhaps we should ignore their human rights record for the moment and get on with stockpiling higher ceilings as part of the preparations for the resistance. Come the revolution it’ll all be like “Being John Malkovic”.
I, for one, do not welcome our midget overlords.
Oh and while I’m on the subject I once doinked a Chinese bird. Actually I’ve doinked a couple. Oddly one of the said doinkings was in Hull.
They’re alright in bed - but you find yourself wanting another one after about 15 minutes.
(Thank-you, I’ll be here all week - try the veal.)
***Insert “Number 69″ joke here***
Fnaaar!
Oh my god all this time I thought “monkey” and “the water margin” were the same show. Thats glue sniffing for you.
Bollocks! The Jolly Green Giant was much taller than 6′4”. Someone is telling porkies.
“I think it was something about ancient feudal China and featured a lot of blokes jumping around with swords.”
Indeed it was. And it’s utter class. And available on DVD.
But the best bit is that, although the original stories are Chinese, the TV series our HYSer admires so much was made in Japan. Filmed in Japan. witha Japanese cast. Speaking Japanese.
Burt Kwouk narrated it, though. He lived in China for a bit I think (although he was born in Manchester as I recall)
I’m 6′3″. Should I be worried too? What’s the cut off point?
One knob head at school supposedly “doinked” a chinese girl and reckoned until he was blue in the face that she had foreskins on her nipples.
True story.
END OF.
I’m 6′3″ and already sitting in quite an uncomfortable chair. Should I be worried too?
Doh! Double post. I blame the Chinese and their cheap keyboards.
I have just realised that I havn’t doinked anyone chinese, indian or black. Does that make me a fucking racist?
It’s about time you tall fuckers were made to suffer. It’ll be some measure of revenge for putting porn on top shelves where us shorter people can’t reach it. Ha!
“I say that because I think its not that the Communist states change but because Britain becomes increasingly Communist”.
I’m glad Janedarc said that, because otherwise I wouldn’t have realised that it was a thinly veiled dig at the government.
I am always amazed with the lack of self-awareness that these people have: I have been living here for 8 years now, but I still have a Spanish accent. I routinely get told by cab drivers about how horrible living in the UK is because it’s full of fucking immigrants (hello!) and that they can’t wait to leave this country to go an live in Spain (hello! hello!!!).
I shouldn’t worry about “Jolly Green Giant”. He’s one of those quite common and very tragic people whose only achievement in life is to have managed to grow to above the average height. You will find him offering to get things down from high shelves, telling people what his shoe-size is, and preening with self-satisfaction when going into “Tall and/or Obese” to buy his horrible fucking patterned shirts. You will also find him crowbarring references to his astounding loftiness into any comments box that sits still for long enough.
But don’t worry. I predict that he will hang himself sometime shortly after Christmas, simultaneously putting us out of his misery and also increasing his amazing height by a few precious centimetres.
I think the Jolly Green Giant is joking AND I think he nicked his idea from somewhere else. Possibly the old Ricky Gervais Show on Xfm.
Jolly Green Giant won’t hang himself. There’s nowhere on Earth high enough for him to get decent purchase.
Nikki, Odican’s Law states: “If it looks like a twat and quacks like a twat, it’s a twat”. Your comment, of course, suggests that Jolly Green Giant is a bigger twat than even he claims to be.
Fuckin awesome!