Solve Global Warming… With Global Poverty!
By AlexThanks to Steve for looking on here.
The UK hardly produces any CO2. It’s all these blacks in Africa chopping down tree to use firewood for cooking.
Jim Bob, Leeds, United Kingdom
no wonder – sending them rice, raw meat and other stuff that needs
cooking in aid. Next time they are all starving (next week), send them
sandwiches or biscuits (stuff that does not need cooking) to save the
trees and stop CO2 pollution.‘Do-gooders’ sending food to Africa are destroying the planet.
Jim Bob, Leeds, United Kingdom
When will those blacks in Africa realise that their selfish eating is driving up our petrol prices? The only solution is to cook stuff first, then post them to Darkieland (or Darkie-stan, whatever). That way it won’t need cooking.
40 Responses to “Solve Global Warming… With Global Poverty!”
Jim Bob is being ironic, surely?
Oh. My. God.
I vote we send Jim Bob and they can eat him raw. They’re all cannibals over there dontcherknow.
Maybe we could send them Jim Bob to put in their big cauldron while we’re at it?
Oh no, they mustn’t cook him though.
Probably better to chop him up and put him in sandwiches over here.
Soylent Jimbob, anyone?
After the first one, I thought it was a pisstake. After the second, I’m not so sure. I’m off to quietly despair (and smoke a fag) outside the office, just to be on the safe side.
What kind of name is Jim Bob? does he think he is some Arkansas redneck? Is his mum really his sister? Whatever, he is an inadequate excuse for a human being, a Flagellum’s Flange of the highest order A complete and utter cunt
hmmmmmmmmm… are we quite sure that we aren’t about to frantically beat off to a bloody obvious wind-up? This guy is just trying to offend left sensibilities, why give him that satisfaction?
I want to know what Fruitbat thinks on the subject.
I must admit I partake in the guilty pleasure of posting outrageous HYS comments just to see if they get recommended.
I think JimBob is too.
Dammit, I have competition.
his sentences are a bit too lucid and he knows, it would appear, what CO2 is. Must be fake.
But hasn’t JimBob got HYS previous?
This bit alone makes it a wind-up. No-one could seriously suggest this. No-one.
Besides surely we shouldn’t be sending them nice stuff like biscuits, wouldn’t cream crackers be good enough? Or bits of fluff?
The obivous and best idea is to send them biofuels to cook their food with and then no plants would need to be cut down and there wouldn’t be so much CO2 (or whatever it is) fouling up our clear skies.
But of course communist new labour have their own PC idea: Bring them all over here to cut down our BRITISH trees to cook their smelly foriegn food with while stealing our language and sleeping on our jobs.
Odicean’s Law:
Ineptly executed satire is indistinguishable from genuine twattery, and thus its wielder may be mocked upon the same grounds as its intended target.
In other words, if it looks like a twat and quacks like a twat, it’s a twat. Now it just so happens that HYS sets the bar for coherency so very low that the typical lazy satirists’ tool of exaggerated agreement tends to veer smack bang into the jaws of Odicean’s Law.
that was my first thought too
The thing is, the biscuits comment can now be found on newssniffer and it appears that at the time it was deleted it had 6 recommendations.
So, even if the original comment was a spoof, 6 people actually agreed with this. Therefore, the twattery inherent in the HYS masses is still made evident by the comment.
Let them eat cake!
If find a far better approach on HYS lies in the finely-turned wit of Oscar Wilde. At one of the Duchess of Clarendon’s celebrated salons, the painter de jour James McNeill Whistler was holding forth at interminable length on the subject of art, Oscar, always ready with a devastating epigram, turned to him and said “Stop your fucking quacking, twat.”
Jim B Antoinette writes:
Or indeed any other made-up drug.
I am voting it a wind-up, that way my blood pressure and heart do not take too much of a hammering.
If I read the “duck quacking twatting thing” one more in the next few days I may just put my razor to good use.
Sounds like a fair swap if you ask me – we send them paedophiles, and we’ll take the hard working African natives who toil on infertile soil just to survive.
Greetings from Africa.
If we’re going to have to eat raw, could we have some cheese and biscuits, some cucumber sandwiches and some fizzy pop, please?
Many thanks.
Must be fake. Not enough spelling mastakes or MiSplaced Capitals.
OTOH living in poverty and not eating enough are a clear sign that they don’t have a proper work ethic and should have paid more attention at school. Can’t please these foreigners. Its either too much water, not enough water or the ground keeps wobbling about. If they hate it so much they should live here. Rains all summer and Tescos had sold out of cheesy whatsits when I was there yesterday…
Don’t get me started…
I agree. I think it’s a wind-up – it’s too coherent and lacks unfocused rage.
Dear brother in Christ,
I am Dr Rev Samuel Odinga Esq and would ask that you keep our communications very confidential.
I have been told by Mr Reginald Abacha (deceased) ESQ OBE SQL, former manager of food distribution that there are 100,000,000 (ONE HUNDRED MILLION) Greggs Pasties (steak bake) unclaimed in a store house and I would like you, TRUSTED FREIND to be my agent in the transaction to repatriate these delicious treats.
Simply send your bank account details and pin numbers to greggscam@hotmail.rm and we can complete this MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL transaction with immediate effect. I will need a small sum to obtain the release of the pasties and as a show of good faith.
YOUR BELOVED colleague in Jeesus
Samuel
That made me lol – Jim Bob, I salute your genius!
As much as I’d like to think it’s a twatty attempt to troll HYS, I attended a sixth form in Leeds alongside many future BNP voters, and some of the brighter ones could feasibly have come up with Jimbob’s comments with a straight face.
I once had the pleasure of listening to one of them in the common room ranting about forruns and citing a Daily Star article about immigrants as proof of whatever the fuck he was attempting to say. When I put it to him that the article might have been, say, ever so slightly exaggerated to make it a more interesting read, he looked at me aghast and wailed “But they wouldn’t be allowed to WRITE it if it WASN’T TRUE!”
It took me a minute or so to realise that he was being deadly serious, at which point I had to go and have a quiet little vomit.
Tl;dr = I reckon there’s only a 50% chance it’s a wind-up
Another vote here for “wind-up”. Got to be. Although I do find it just about believable that the average HYS’er would be capable of overlooking the cooking process that many would consider intrinsic to the production of bread and biscuits, he has given the game away by recognising a link between “trees” and “CO2″.
I must now guiltily admit that I’ve gone recommendation-whoring on HYS myself, although I’ve never had the audacity to stoop quite *that* low.
Whether it’s a wind up or not you can’t ignore the undeniable fact that we never had any of these “global warming” problems when all the darkies, coons and pakis were working for the British Empire.
It’s all the bloody Commonwealth’s fault!
At no point did Marie Antoinette say Let them eat cake! Just needed to clear that up, sorry.
Oh and it is probably real, we all know there are too many of those type of people around, what’s the point anymore…
HYSfriend37
Soylent Green is twats.
Now calm down everybody. The issue here is not whether or not its a wind up. The real issue is the ability of african to cook food. How terrible it must be to die of starvation in a land of plenty simply for the lack of firewood. We should of course send them all the fuel they need for cooking. They eat other anyway so it would cut their numbers down in the long run.
This made me laugh out loud, really hard. Bravo.
We’ve returned to the idea of burning the stupids again. Do you think there’s much of an export market for flammable idiots?
Let’s face it… we have all at one time or another banged a fizzingly-dumb, right-wing tub-thumper onto an HYS thread just to see if it floats.
Come on… yes you have, you naughty thing you, I know you have. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve even sent a “I bet Gordon CLOWN will try to tax it!!!” post when they open a new thread just to see it fly.
You know that feeling when the bat/raquet/club connects with the ball just-so and it flies off just strainght and true and you feel all ‘ahhhhhhhh’, just right? There is something undeniably satisfying about cranking a post out on a new HYS thread and watching it float up to the top of the charts.
(of course, the people voting for it are dribbling, plastic-cutlery-only, morons who vote for ANYTHING (FACTS people!) but it is still satisfying.)
Oh, yes you do enjoy it, so don’t deny it!!!
Regarding the trolling for votes. Does anyone think Tosspot-Turvy might actually be just a very highly skilled provoker and not at all the sort of mentalist his posts suggest?
I am hereby banning the comments from last two posts to this blog for being far too serious and no-where near silly enough.
I have warned you all about this in the past, and now enough-is-enough, you couldn’t make it up, Godron Clown has infiltrated this blog and is taxing the length of our posts, ZaNu Liarbore etc.
Now we shall stop the sensible discussion and proceed again with the stupidity, I will take the lead:
*ahem* Baboon’s vadge.
“Let’s face it… we have all at one time or another banged a fizzingly-dumb, right-wing tub-thumper onto an HYS thread just to see if it floats.”
In the early days of HYS, back in 98 when it was still called “Talking Point”, I did manage to get a comment up there on one of it’s all-too-frequent “when should we bomb Iraq” conundrums. It went along the lines of, “We should drop oestrogen in the Baghdad water supply to make Saddam’s moustache fall off. This would descredit him in the eyes of his people and lead to his ouster”.
It took the pricks a about a week to delete it.
Hellno i won’t be taxed to death from food sending to africa.shit hits the fan a soon as some people are hungary its not out fault the dont have any industri.
Lock up the PC brigade. End of!
i find the quote marks around ‘do-gooders’ really quite enchanting
‘hope’ – maybe you could help me with something. Why is it that howling lunatic rightwing fucknuttery and the inability to spell so often go hand in hand together?
I have a working hypothesis that the correlation has something to do with right wing people mostly being absolutely fucking stupid.