‘Lads mags’, harmless photographs of attractive women willing to pose for them and give interviews, are probably read by a maximum of a million men each week. ‘Loose Women’, a TV show that is powered by feminism’s universal hatred of males, gets over two million views daily. Yet the latter will probably be ignored – or, worse, praised – while sanctions are placed on the literary ‘filth’.
I joked about this once during open mic stand-up. How poignant my words seem now.
Political Madness Gone Correct, Brighton, United Kingdom
I looked into this and the show is indeed powered by feminism’s universal hatred of males. Interestingly, the set is also made from the skulls of hundreds of absentee fathers and the cameras are fashioned from the broken corpses of the viewers’ inconsiderate husbands.
All this can be a bit of a downer, so what I like to do is tear out a particularly juicy page from ‘Nuts’ and cut out the faces. Then I stick this to the television screen and pretend that Lynda Bellingham has her baps out.
77 Responses to “How Poignant”
I prefer the show “Deadbeat but Dangerous”, in which absent fathers are invivted onto the show and asked to test Andrea Dworkin’s
wonky theories about all men being potential rapists by being locked into a convent shower house for 24 hours with three dozen naked nuns. The show runs annually as a series of 65 weekly episodes, with prizes for the winners including a free set of breast and labia implants for the successful contestants wife or mistress, a life time membership to Hooters, and a free lap-dance to be podcast over the producer’s Web2 infrastructure.
They put little dynamos in the ears of feminists which are turned by all the steam that comes out whenever they’re made to watch Nuts TV.
All these people seem to think that feminists/Muslims/traffic police/immigrants/Scottish MPs/the EU/Paedos/benefit cheats/chavs/The Chinese/young people/NuLiarBore/The Tories/bleedin’ heart liberals/capitalists/Eniveronmentalists…/etc. are all out to get them.
They’re mental!
Back on topic, surely there is some fun to be had with the title “Loose Women”? Maybe Nuts magazine should run a counter-attack with an issue on “Tight Women”.
You know what I mean, you filthy fuckers.
He really needs to put Loose Women in a wider context – it gets ignored because it is epically shit. It’s about as controversial as The One Show gleefully explaining what a Scotch Egg is to its (presumably) captivated audience.
Good God, I hate the One Show.
Anyone spot the key word here?
That’s right, it’s “once”.
Loose Women is about as feminist as my racist grandad.
If anyone could forward me the email address of Political Madness Gone Correct, I’d like to book them immediately as part of an evening of really shit comedy.
If Loose Women is the pinnacle of current feminism, then women are doomed as a gender.
If the major political schism in modern British society is signified by Nuts vs Loose Women, then we are doomed as a human race.
In the context of weekday television Loose Women is not especially shit. In comparison to Jeremy Kyle, Lets Flog Some Old Tat AT A Car Boot Sale To Raise Money TO Buy More Tat (as I believe it is called), Diagnosis Murder and Doctors, a programme who’s production values are so low they make the average company health and safety video look polished, Loose Women is the pinnacle of daytime broadcasting.
Or, if you will, the partly digested sweetcorn on the fetid stteaming turd that is daytime television.
However, my pointless ranting should not distract us from the key issue. Political Madness is still a Marmoset Mimsy.
Don’t get me wrong – Political Madness Gone Correct is clearly a badger’s muff who thinks he is both witty and insightful but…
I think the confusion he makes between Loose Women and feminism is the exact same confusion that the viewers and hosts have. They think they are being feminist by making clichéd rants about their husbands leaving the toilet seat up, whereas if they were actually feminists they would be out there doing something with their lives instead of watching daytime TV.
My life is surprisingly intertwined with the cast of Doctors – they film it on the University of Birmingham campus, so I have managed to live next door to Greg (the gay one), AND seen Mac buying cheese in the local Sainsburys. As such, I have to place it above Loose Women for pure comedy value. The same goes for ANYTHING that Dick Van Dyke says or does.
I’ll let you have Crap in the Loft though, as it truly represents television’s lowest ebb. Apart from Everybody Loves Raymond. And the One Show.
I am aware that having read my own post it has something of a tinge of “how poignant my words seem now”
Fuck. This blog is so goddamn postmodern it hurts. It’s like by observing HYS I have become a part of it.
Ahh! I’m doing it again. Shit.
So many things to say….
1) Don’t knock Diagnosis Murder.
2) Loose Women dose seem ,unfortunatly, repersent the views of alot of “current feminism” i.e. it is the HYS of feminism. Utterly misunderstanding the aims of feminism, and fuled purly on rage, altough toned down for TV. Having watched very little of it, it seems to think womens issues today still revolve around bringing up childern. Yay for equality….
3) “I joked about this once during open mic stand-up”. I bet that was a laugh a second. I see it as being 2 minuets of racist and sexist ranting followed by being bood of stage. Probably much like his sex life.
“they cant ‘ i dont believe [as victor meldew] would say. ime. sure i jane say heard on one of her radio interviews reasently that she has a nother years contract with loose woman from blossom time”
If such incoherence is an example of the universal man-hating feminist power the show allegedly promotes I think Political Madness hasn’t much to fear from them. Who knows, blossom time might even get his jokes.
I joked about this once during open mic stand-up = I stood outside Wilkinsons and shouted it at passing 17 year old girls
Wellington,
You dont need to pretend, Lynda Bellingham has her baps out in Confessions of a Driving Instructor.
So far from this thread I have established that most people who submit posts are mostly either unemployed or ‘work from home’ as you all seem to know waaaayyy too much about daytime tv.
Seeing as Maxim lost 60% of its circulation in the last year and most of the others are well into double digit losses, I hardly think that ‘lads mags’ are really a problem. Now all we need is Loose Women to perform the same feat with their audience….but then, what would you lot do all morning?
‘Literary filth’? Is Nuts throwing serializations of Gogol in amongst the softcore now?
Oliver, are you taking the piss out of us for posting stuff during the day…by posting a comment yourself during the day…?
I’m grateful to HYS and SYB and particularly Political Madness for pointing out the sanctions placed on literary “filthy lads mags” and the virulent effects of feminazi powered loose women as I wasn’t aware either even existed.
He might have made it up though.
I hear you can.
Yeah, the Doctors lot are loveable crowd, often lurking around the University of Birmingham campus.
‘Losse Women’ is just universally dire. It’s a backwards step.
@zymeck: Cheers for that. Found it on DVD on Amazon. I’ll let you all know how I get on.
Oliver, I think you mean ‘”work” from home’.
Oh, one of *those* stand-up comedians. You know, shit ones.
@ Steve – Yes.
“Col John Matrix
Oliver, are you taking the piss out of us for posting stuff during the day…by posting a comment yourself during the day…?”
I knew there was a flaw somewhere.
Or “Mock the Week” as it’s better known.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you seem to think it means.
i’ve never watched loose women, sadly i’ve had a job for the last ten years during the day, but from the title, and the comments above, i’d summise its about a bunch of fat birds, who used to get it horse’d up em more times than i’ve had hot dinners, but now due to a addiction to cake and pies, they don’t get any so just sit around bitching about how life is tough for an obese fat slag in the 21st century.
i’d also summise that the 2 million viewers said loose slags get, probably consists on the large part of other large slags wanting empathy that its not thier fault they keep shoving cake in thier faces, as well as jobless dolescum who nobody gives a fuck about anyway.
am I close?
@fucko the clown.
Nearly. Some of them are leathery old sows, who look about 20 years older than they are because of smoking 60 a day, to much hair dye and a sun bed the got from Argos.
Rich (MMath)(Oxon):
“I joked about this once during open mic stand-up.”
Anyone spot the key word here? That’s right, it’s “once”.”
Presumably he didn’t get a laugh out of it there either, so has been hawking it round at anyone who would listen ever since.
He reads ‘shy-boy porn’, he has extensive 1st-hand knowledge of day-time TV and he writes about his amateur stand-up performance with all the wit, lightness and self-deprecation of a gas bill.
I bet Ross Noble is crapping himself.
Poignant.
I do not think that this word means what he thinks it means.
He actually means “shit”.
how shit my words seem now…as indeed they did then
How in the blithering backwaters of bumblefuck a daytime tv show aimed at the unemployed and “housewives” can even be considered as promoting women’s liberation I don’t know. I reckon Political’s comic routine would actually be quite amusing for us, although not in the way he intends it be obviously. I’d prefer to see him in slapstick. With real slaps from real sticks.
‘HYS’, harmless comments by fat sweaty men willing to pose for photographs and give interviews, is probably read by a maximum of a million men each week. ‘Newspapers’, a collection of articles that are powered by mankind’s universal hatred of ignorance, get millions of readers daily. Yet the latter will probably be ignored – or, worse, praised – while sanctions are placed on the literary ‘filth’.
I’m a female wimmin type person and quite frankly I’d rather have Nuts or Loaded than the pile of poo that is Loose Women.
Nuts: Shows that women can do what hey want, we’re not living with the flaming Taliban here, get em out if you want!
Loose Women: Shows that women need men, and bitch when they can’t get one.
It’s pathetic!
Yes, back in the 60s women only burnt their bras. Now braless they’re taking their tops off and shaking their bits about for inadequate blokes to wank over. Now *that’s* emancipation.
@Rebel
Nuts: implies that women are only capable of finding self-worth via their appreciation by men.
Loose Women: implies that women are only capable of finding self-worth via their appreciation by men.
It’s pathetic!
Erised
Thank you! Everybody Loves Raymond, what a bunch of arse!
“Based on the comments of Ray Romano” – what fucking comedy?
About as funny as rectal cancer!
Pick a side!We’re at war!Having read nor seen them both I think I am in the perfect position to make the right decision between feminazi male hating universalism or literary “filthiness” I guess I will just decide with my cock…
“It’s about as controversial as The One Show gleefully explaining what a Scotch Egg is to its (presumably) captivated audience.
Good God, I hate the One Show.”
I – genuinely – work on the One Show. Feel free to ask me any questions you have.
Sorry, based on the comedy of Ray Romano.
Three Martini lunch!
It is quite dreadful…and I don’t know what Channel 4 were thinking by scheduling it at 07:30. I tried writing to them in the hope that they’d address their error, but alas to no avail. All that’s left for me now is BBC Breakfast News. Being told day after day that you’re going to die in a gutter, unable to afford anything except clothes made by slaves is probably a better option.
Maybe I’ll just move the radio into the living room.
So many questions! Goodness me, what a boon. OK, before I just end up offending you further – what do you do for the One Show?
Feel free to join my ‘Death to the One Show!’ Facebook group if you would like to put across your views in an ‘official’ forum…
is norbert some sort of bbc 5th columnist secretly reporting back to HYSHQ?
or maybe he’s adrian chiles.
“Yes, back in the 60s women only burnt their bras. Now braless they’re taking their tops off and shaking their bits about for inadequate blokes to wank over. Now *that’s* emancipation.”
Hey, I resent the implication that Political Madness Gone Correct is somehow inadequate. I mean, his scathing critique of feminism/loose women is so well thought out, he’s surely studying towards a Masters on the subject.
Loose Women and Nuts are equally insulting to women.
there you go ladies, you’ve got equality at last.
i’m not sure it’s quite how you wanted it but there you
Is Adrian Chiles nobbing that Irish bird? Tell me!
@norbert – my question:
WHY?
@rebel, do you like nutz from a lesbionics point of view….
@Norbert, I quite like the one show, i’d definately drag my balls across that irish birds face.
@ Norbert
Do any of the presenters have any really disgusting habits?
and
Have you ever “mistakenly” walked into Myleen’s dressing room when she’s been in the alltogther?
Ok – answers so far…
1)I make VTs for The One Show
2) I am not a BBC Spy. If you saw the emails we get to our own One Show address from viewers it would make HYS look relatively sane.
3) Adrian is not shagging Christine. The whole thing was a brilliantly cooked up piece of bullshit from the Daily Mail, concocted using cleverly selected quotes from the two of them from an interview they gave to the Radio Times
4) It’s good fun and a steady wage
5) She is very fit – but you sound like one of the many pervs we have to keep arresting in reception
6) At least two of the presenters are massive alcoholics, but I will leave you to guess who
7) I didn’t work there when Myleene presented it, so I didn’t have the chance.
make it a bit easier for number 6 by naming the ones that definitely aren’t (if any)
WHAAAAAAT? The Daily Mail, that bastion of truth for all right thinking indigenous white males, selectively using quotes and distorting facts in an attempt to rake some shit?
SAY IT ISN’T SO!
Honestly, you couldn’t make it up!!!1! etc etc…
@skunkpussy
to be fair to them though – it was a masterclass in trash journalism. I did read it and think that if ever my son came to me and said “Dad – I want to write scurrilous, baseless innuendo for a national newspaper for a living” that I would show him that piece. It was very cleverly done – balancing the fence between “nudge nudge, wink wink” and not giving lawyers any potential ammunition perfectly.
Murked. It’s on in the afternoon.
I work for A Major TV Listings Mag and you should see what we get. There’s a regular nutter who sends us envelopes, with a 1p stamp on them, packed with ripped-out pages “corrected” in red pen. “Movie” gets changed to “film”, “kids” is changed to “”boys” or “girls” at random, various other insignificant style tweaks get highlighted… oh yeah, and “black” is “corrected” to “sambo”, “nig-nog”, “coon”, “golliwog” etc. And she (for she is most definitely a she) draws demonic faces in felt-tip on the faces of children in all the ads.
The thing is that in her campaign for accuracy she’s failed to notice that the pages in question aren’t actually from any of the listings mags we publish. And she also sends them to the “Head Grammarian” at yet another of the many listings mags we don’t publish, at our address.
We also had a bloke who sent christmas cards to Shirley Bassey and Halle Berry c/o us, with an offer that his door was always open if they happened to find themselves near his home and at a loose end over the festive season.
Joe, please please please let all those things be true.
You may mock, but that threesome with Halle and Shirly last Xmas.. whoo!
A very nice ‘ethnic’ lady approached me in the early hours in Barcelona, and offered to suck my cock.
Imagine my disgust when she then asked for 50 euros! It’s political correctness gone mad…FACT1.
Lynda bellingham in Confessions…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVNhS8QcUEE
no breastage but she does appear to be auditioning for the olympic archery team through the power of her oxo-flavoured fanjita.
Men, if you find your women have enough free time to be watching daytime television, then you probably haven’t given them enough to do!
Ensure your women are kept busy, and have enough valium to stop them getting depressed, this is what makes for a happy home chaps!
Remember that the Gnome Office is 100% supportive of men who keep their women at home. Ask a policeman for help if yours gets out of line, or go to one of our wife beating courses at a local college.
Men, your government is here to help you!
I’ve never met fucko the clown, sadly I’ve been too busy leading my life in a world where misogynists are the exception rather than the rule, but from his posts I’d surmise that he needs to learn how to spell surmise, and that he needs to learn that the world is not just full of “fat slags” but also of women who are smart (way smarter than fucko here) and are not interested in merely providing some kind of spunk receptacle for brainless twats with an addiction to cake and pies.
I would further SURMISE that when fucko there learns how to spell ‘their’ and realises that ‘dolescum’, if it must be used at all, is actually two words, then he might actually get the hole he is dreaming of and might actually stop posting on here because he might lose some of the bitter rage he feels at being cast out of society as a whole for being a brainless fucktard.
just a thought. carry on.
lynsosaurus – whatever fucko’s true beliefs, and it’s so hard to detect irony properly since that Morissette woman muddied the waters, he does seem to have pretty much nailed it with his description of Loose Women though, doesn’t he?
See, the thing about fucko is that he doesn’t discriminate. He’ll gladly wipe his balls across the faces of men, women and children.
You can even hire him for parties, where he’ll hand out Anthrax covered balloons, put dog shit in the trifle, swap your Friends DVDs for hardcore porn, and hundreds of other hilarious japes.
imagine my disgust when he swapped my hardcore porn for friends dvds
I bet Fucko the Clown couldn’t fuck the economy half as well as Gordon Clown has!!1!one. Nuliarbore puts dog shit in everybody’s trifle, now that’s magic! Could Fucko stick his hand in every pensioner’s handbag without leaving Downing Street? Tell Me!
If you genuinely want to see Linda Bellingham’s tits they can be viewed right at the beginning of the film version of “The Sweeney”, shortly before the hooker she is playing is murdered by some nasty spivs. This film also contains valuable evidence to counter John Thaw’s claim that he never said “SHAAT IT!” in The Sweeney – in that he does, in fact, walk into his office with a massive hangover and shout “SHAAAT IT!” at everyone. It also contains his immortal line “ALRIGHT TINKERBELL! YOU’RE NICKED!”
Oh I should add that this film also contains extensive footage of that bird who used to be in the Nescafe adverts with Gareth Hunt’s tits as well.
thed surefire way to spot someone who doesn’t understand feminism:
it’s obviously never reached fucko the clown either:
I signed off an email on a closed emails list as Political Madness Gone Correct, the other day. I think it was about ballot systems though.
Thanks, Lisa – you saved me having to point that out myself.
When did SYB comments start attracting idiots like this?
I wonder if there are HYS’ers lurking among us?
It has been scientifically proved that you are never more than 10m from an HYS poster. Fact!
It has been scientifically proved that you are never more than 10m from an HYS poster. Fact!
_____
How did I never notice this? Tell me!
It’s Beelzebozo time…
See that’s the problem – too many women smarter than fucko and not enough spunk receptacles (or cakes and pies)…