Delusions of Grandeur18 Aug 2008 01:41 pm
By Nelson

Griff is hoping to end all war with the sheer force of his pomposity.

I know that this will not be a popular view but I am having serious problems. I know that sport and politics should not mix but we cannot ignore where these games are being held.
When the national anthem is played I do not feel proud, we must never forget our involvement in Iraq. What we have done brings nothing but shame on our country.
I call on the world now to declare that they will boycott the London olympics. Gordon Brown must not go to China, shame on us all. Everything is in our name.
[griff22], Exeter, United Kingdom

By the beard of Zeus! You’re right! Oh woe! Cry treachery! I call upon mighty Thor and his fleet of Volkswagen Passats to strike down those who have brought such shame to the shores of this once great land! Rain down fire and brimstone! Stop Gordon going to China! Ask awkward questions on Newsnight!

56 Responses to “Having Serious Problems”

  1. on 18 Aug 2008 at 2:40 pm [Wibble4261]

    I know that this will not be a popular view but I am having serious problems. When will these server errors go away!1!11! I am having to spend far to much working instead of F5ing this page to pass the time. Please please please fix it for me. you are doing nothing but bringing shame on yourselves. YES, THATS RIGHT SHAME!!! POST THIS IF YOU DARE!!

  2. on 18 Aug 2008 at 2:48 pm Throbbe

    Point of order. Nothing relating to VW Passats could ever be described as ‘mighty’.

    As you were.

  3. on 18 Aug 2008 at 2:56 pm Mooska

    I called on the world once. It was out.

  4. on 18 Aug 2008 at 3:02 pm shoelace

    Bet you didn’t call on the world via the medium of a text box on a broadcaster’s website, Mooska. That’s the only way to be sure of a response apparently !!!1!!eleven

    Relax, he’s from Exeter.

  5. on 18 Aug 2008 at 3:05 pm Mr Cat

    Everything is in our name.

    EVERYTHING!

    I notice very little going on here about Nelson’s appearance in the Guardian. Well done Nelson!

    Last time I appeared in a Daily paper they called me a twonk.

  6. on 18 Aug 2008 at 3:20 pm Mal

    On the subject of the Olympics, a letter in today’s Western Morning News (think Daily Mail but with more inbreeding)reads

    It’S that laughable that you couldn’t make it up – the RAF’s famous Red Arrows have been banned from performing at the 2012 London Olympics because they are “too British and their appearance ‘might offend other nations”.

    Priceless.

  7. on 18 Aug 2008 at 3:33 pm AndyS

    MrCat. Moaning about guardianistas turning up and spoiling the place with their lefty-pinko hummousburgers was done on saturday wasn’t it?

    As I found out on my divorce, having everything in your own name is a pain in the arse. Can’t we put everything in griff’s name instead?

  8. on 18 Aug 2008 at 3:35 pm sm

    [quote]On the subject of the Olympics, a letter in today’s Western Morning News (think Daily Mail but with more inbreeding)reads

    It’S that laughable that you couldn’t make it up – the RAF’s famous Red Arrows have been banned from performing at the 2012 London Olympics because they are “too British and their appearance ‘might offend other nations”.[/quote]

    Next week there will be a letter complaining about the ’supermosque’ in East London that WE’RE ALL PAYING FOR

  9. on 18 Aug 2008 at 3:39 pm Mr Cat

    If Griff says everything is in our name what is that name?

  10. on 18 Aug 2008 at 3:40 pm setyourfacestostunned

    “I know that this will not be a popular view but I am having serious problems.”

    Au contraire, [griff22] having serious problems would be very popularly viewed. Preferrably heart problems or a fist related face problem perhaps?

    Cunt.

    P.S. Not being a screaming liberal (Guardian reading) nance, what particular subject did Nelson choose to enlighten their readers with at the weekend?

  11. on 18 Aug 2008 at 3:58 pm Bo

    what particular subject did Nelson choose to enlighten their readers with at the weekend?

    Shameless self-promotion:

    http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=mike+southall+guardian&meta=

    I bet this doesn’t get poasted!

  12. on 18 Aug 2008 at 4:01 pm AndyS

    Mike Southall. SOUTHALL!!11!! Not Bayswater or another proper English London suburb. It’s political correctness gone mad. You couldn’t make it up. End of!

  13. on 18 Aug 2008 at 4:02 pm Bo

    Oops! Or you could try:

    http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=mike+southall+guardian&meta=

    If you’re feeling lucky. END OF1!?!

  14. on 18 Aug 2008 at 4:03 pm Bo

    Fuck!

    http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=matt+southall+guardian&meta=

  15. on 18 Aug 2008 at 4:06 pm Mal

    Being a screaming liberal (Guardian reading)nance myself it was more or less about the inexplicable popularity of a certain website based around pointing and laughing at moronic cunts. Oh, and gratuitous use of the word ‘cunt’.

  16. on 18 Aug 2008 at 4:29 pm setyourfacestostunned

    Just read it. Not liberal enough use of the words cunts for my liking, but that’s just a personal choice.

    Had any extra hits today from likely Guardo-reading librul cunts?

  17. on 18 Aug 2008 at 4:29 pm setyourfacestostunned

    Just read it. Not liberal enough use of the word cunts for my liking, but that’s just a personal choice.

    Had any extra hits today from likely Guardo-reading librul cunts?

  18. on 18 Aug 2008 at 9:38 pm Robert Synnott

    Ahem. I THINK you mean
    http://www.google.BRITAIN/search?hl=en&q=matt+southall+guardian&meta=

  19. on 18 Aug 2008 at 10:02 pm Rhinestone Choirboy

    I think Griff could have stopped his message straight after saying he was having serious problems.

  20. on 18 Aug 2008 at 10:16 pm zeeba

    Aw shite. I’m a Guardo-reading librul cunt. Do I have to fuck off back where I came from. Bloody Guardianistas, coming over here and stealing your internet.

  21. on 18 Aug 2008 at 11:34 pm DW

    fuck it!
    Just boycott every fucking international sports events unless it’s in a country where no war or shit has went down

  22. on 19 Aug 2008 at 12:12 am Poom

    Let’s give them to Iraq

  23. on 19 Aug 2008 at 12:20 am 773 (metric)

    DW, does that mean I can’t even go round to my mate’s house to play Scrabble, because the previous tenants of his flat once had an argument over some fish and chips? It does, doesn’t it. I wish we lived in a free, wealthy and democratic country like Somalia, or Zimbabwe, not the miserable oppressive fascist dictatorship we currently have the misfortune to be trapped in, then I wouldn’t have anyone telling me what to do, we’d all be happy and rich and our farts would smell of freshly mown grass.

  24. on 19 Aug 2008 at 1:35 am burnel

    “My employer is insulating their business by reducing their currently UK-centric footprint and shipping everything out to either North America or South Asia.

    Thanks a bunch Gordon/Tony… this will be your true legacy!

    Topsy Turvy, England, United Kingdom”

    This cunt really should be outsourced to south Asia, preferably Afghanistan, FACT!!!11!

  25. on 19 Aug 2008 at 2:08 am Joe C

    Griff, aged 22, puts his name in square brackets because it makes him feel safe.

  26. on 19 Aug 2008 at 2:11 am Mim

    I don’t read the Guardian because I find it offensively middle-class and patronising. Can I not be in the SYB club any more for sheer joylessness?

  27. on 19 Aug 2008 at 6:28 am burnel

    Mim, I no longer read the Guardian either, it’s become a load of self-congratulatory holier than thou ‘PC gone mad’ badger vomit. As has the Observer (with fox shit). However I still read the NYT, so I’m obviously a liberal lefty.

  28. on 19 Aug 2008 at 6:39 am alt-f4

    If you cunts all like the gaurdian so much why don’t you go post there? As for the cunt above, he’s not even a proper cunt, at least not in the same ballpark as the regular cunts. Maybe I’m being a cunt but you can’t blame the cunt for being confused. UK cunts illegally invades Iraq and kills cunts there, gets awarded the Olympics, then bitches about Chinese cunts invading Tibet, and says that Russians cunts shouldn’t be allowed the same Olympipc priviledges as British cunts.

    A Confused Cunt, British (not UK)
    Recommened by 1126 other cunts.

  29. on 19 Aug 2008 at 7:26 am burnel

    That cunt above is a pseudo-cunt

  30. on 19 Aug 2008 at 7:42 am burnel

    Also a true unadultarated snatch bucket

  31. on 19 Aug 2008 at 7:43 am burnel

    unadulterated

  32. on 19 Aug 2008 at 9:08 am setyourfacestostunned

    I’m sensing a vaginesque theme within this thread. N’est-ce pas?

  33. on 19 Aug 2008 at 9:15 am burnel

    Mais oui

  34. on 19 Aug 2008 at 9:46 am Stuart

    Cunt off, you immigrant french cunts. If you love french cunts so much why don’t you go cunt there.
    Cunt

  35. on 19 Aug 2008 at 9:54 am setyourfacestostunned

    I bet those Guardo-reading slags have houses in the Dordogne. They liked their pain au chocolats so much they went and lived there!!

    You couldn’t make it zzzzzzzz.

  36. on 19 Aug 2008 at 9:57 am Stuart

    I forgot to add (it was an immigrants fault)
    Relax - I’m a cunting Guardian reader

  37. on 19 Aug 2008 at 10:00 am burnel

    I just killed a wasp with a rolled up copy of ‘The Independent’……..I’m fucking awesome.

  38. on 19 Aug 2008 at 10:07 am Mike

    I just buy the Guardian to find out what Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall wants me to do with the stuff in my organic veg box each week.

    Why do people think it’s middle class?

  39. on 19 Aug 2008 at 10:07 am Mr Cat

    HYS is just brilliant.

    THIS is the top recommended post on the “should we protect pedigrees” thread:

    Is it unfair to breed and show pedigree dogs? Don’t know, but it’s certainly weird.

    Breeding dogs so that you can parade them on catwalks for prizes? Hmm, let’s try a test…

    1/ OK to breed humans for such purposes? Nope.
    2/ OK to degrade dolphins in this way? Nope.
    3/ OK to do it to dogs? Yep.

    Dog-loving nation? Nope. Sick and twisted? Yep.

    Paul, London

    I love it. I flipping LOVE it!!one!!!1!

  40. on 19 Aug 2008 at 10:09 am Kelvin

    See, you couldn’t do that with the Guardian because it would insist on having a group therapy session with the rest of the wasp’s family afterwards.

  41. on 19 Aug 2008 at 10:21 am burnel

    “See, you couldn’t do that with the Guardian because it would insist on having a group therapy session with the rest of the wasp’s family afterwards.”

    I did. I just murdered them as well. Where are all these fucking wasps coming from? France?

  42. on 19 Aug 2008 at 10:28 am Nelson

    I don’t read newspapers because they make me angry. They pretend to be selling news to readers but really they are selling readers to advertisers. The more “upmarket” or “lefty” the paper, the more self-deluded are those who read it thinking that there’s any kind of consistent editorial policy that would ever be allowed to subsume this.

    Anyway. I’m off on holiday now. Wales in the pissing rain. I’ll probably spend most of it getting angry while trying to read newspapers under an umbrella.

    I’ve turned off cacheing, as that seemed to cause the 500’s. So the site will be shitty slow but hopefully stay up. As long as Dreamhost manage to keep the actual server turned on. Bless em.

  43. on 19 Aug 2008 at 10:32 am Roffle

    I’m a Guardo/Gordo reading leftie, but I’ve been wasting time here for ages. You can actually thank Scaryduck for my presence.

  44. on 19 Aug 2008 at 11:15 am Kelvin

    I don’t read newspapers for the same reason I don’t drive a steam car or do my banking by wireless telegraphy.

  45. on 19 Aug 2008 at 11:23 am bigruss

    i was starting to feel wrong because everyone on here reads newspapers, but i don’t because i think they are full of twats opinions trying to make their twattish opinions my opinions. the twats. or should i say cunts?

  46. on 19 Aug 2008 at 11:25 am Roffle

    If you don’t read newspapers what do you wrap up broken glass in when you drunkenly knock the pinot of the table?

  47. on 19 Aug 2008 at 11:30 am Kelvin

    How the fuck would I know? Our polish housekeeper carries the shards out in her bare hands and deals with them. You don’t get that kind of service from legal immigrants, I can tell you!

  48. on 19 Aug 2008 at 12:46 pm Samwel

    Anyway. I’m off on holiday now. Wales in the pissing rain. I’ll probably spend most of it getting angry while trying to read newspapers under an umbrella.

    I can confirm that here in Wales it is indeed pissing with rain. And sometimes it even seems to rain with piss, though that’s mostly on Saturday nights. Actually, I wouldn’t come here if I were you.

    I’ve had trouble getting on to the site the last few days, is it due to an influx of Gordian-reading liberal envirofascist marxist cunts trying to be as cool as us?

  49. on 19 Aug 2008 at 12:50 pm howfar

    Kelvin, you better not tell her she IS a legal immigrant, then.

  50. on 19 Aug 2008 at 12:59 pm setyourfacestostunned

    Samwel

    Yes. The cunts.

  51. on 19 Aug 2008 at 2:36 pm Mal

    Back to the Olympics, here’s today’s classic from the Western Morning UKIP er, *News* delivered by the always reliably Hornchurch (ie beyond Barking)Tess

    THE other day I switched to the BBC Parliament Channel, as I often do, to see what The Few are, or have been, doing to The Many in the UK lately – only to find it was suspended until August 24. Why? “Extended coverage of the Olympics”.

    This may not bother people who never watch the Parliament Channel. It may not bother people who live life with their heads stuck in the sand, either. But it bothered me. Why? Apart from anything else, on turning to the BBC News channel, what did I find? That’s right – “more sport”.

    I don’t know how much ancient Roman history is taught in schools these days – probably not much; it would be much too revealing and we don’t want our kids growing up to be intelligent, educated adults, do we? They might not vote the “right way”.

    But I seem to remember that this is precisely what Nero and his lot did when they wanted to prevent the citizens noticing the dreadful things they were doing all those thousands of years ago.

    In those days, they threw Christians to the lions and that sort of thing – for entertainment, you understand. Today it is the Olympics or golf or football or rugby or cricket or… you get the picture. I almost despair.

    Tess Nash, Helston

  52. on 19 Aug 2008 at 2:36 pm Dan

    I hate to tell everyone this, but I heard that Gordon Brown has already been to China! By himself! I do wonder if Griff, with his comfort brackets, will be able to cope?

  53. on 19 Aug 2008 at 3:01 pm Roffle

    I see it now. Under-educate the kids so that they vote Labour. Everyone knows that all educted people vote Tory.

  54. on 19 Aug 2008 at 3:09 pm Far-Q

    What ‘the Few’ have been doing? Fighting the Hun in the skies above Dover, obviously.

    As for the politicians, does Tess Nash not know that parliament is in recess?

    Tess Nash = Otter’s Gash

  55. on 19 Aug 2008 at 4:06 pm Throbbe

    Tess Nash = Otter’s Gash

    Nice. It doesn’t just work for Tess either. Try completing the following.

    James Blunt =

  56. on 19 Aug 2008 at 4:32 pm Kelvin

    Kelvin, you better not tell her she IS a legal immigrant, then.

    We haven’t let her out of the house in so long she’s barely aware her country’s been liberated from the Nazis. I like my servants how I like my women: illiterate and disenfranchised.