Just Like You and Me. And Elvis.
By AlexThanks to Shoelace and Lucy. On the untimely death of Isaac Hayes.
Isaac?
Who?
Sorry he died.
Burry him deep.
All musician need to be so done with.
Else, they erupt again to blare with their stuff to bother us all again.Music 2 Years
I’ve been racking my brains for what this means, and can only conclude that Music 2 Years is his stage name and these are his lyrics. I imagine a balding middle-aged man with a cod Jamaican accent.
What a shame. I remember meeting him once in a burger King in Brixton about 10 years ago, he ordered a double whopper with extra fries, and a coke. Just goes to show that food will kill you, just like Elvis, except on a tread mill, and not a toilet.
Joseph Steadman, Brixton
I once met Shobna Gulati out of Dinnerladies. I mumbled something about her play being quite interesting and she said ‘thanks’. Needless to say, if she should ever die it will be down to this.
54 Responses to “Just Like You and Me. And Elvis.”
I once met Ice T when he was acting all tough, jiving about south central LA. My biggest regret is not giving him a back-hander (something to do with his entourage),also the Guardian says its wrong.
I once met someone in a burger king as well, in the service station on the M25 on the northern side of the bridge over the thames. He was standing in the line in front of me. He didn’t purchase a burger though because it was still only two o’clock in the afternoon and they were still on the breakfast menu as it was to early for to serve from the lunch menu (you couldn’t make it up). I don’t know if he was a famous musician or not, but he looked like he might OF (not “have”) been. He ordered two large diet cokes, fries (which he couldn’t get because they aren’t on the breakfast menu) and a couple of hash clowns.
alt-f4…..Were they ‘Gordon’ hash clowns from the nu liebore menu? Just that I think they are on the all day breakfast menu on HYS?
God, I REALLY want a burger now.
And I think Joseph Steadman’s just angry because Five Star lived on tofu and were still shit. FACT.
“Just goes to show that food will kill you, just like Elvis,”
Elvis is going to kill me? On a treadmill? Is this one of those strange indecipherable dreams?
I did meet Paul Weller in a queue at the Holland Park cafe once, he ordered a sandwich and is still alive.
I once had lunch with Billy Dainty and he’s dead now too. Just goes to show you – never have a meal in crap french restaurant in Southport with a load of local kids that won a competition in the local paper. You couldn’t make it up!!1!1!!!1.
10 years to die? Man thats a slow death.
Also, dose that mean Joseph is going to die soon, as he was eating at the same time?
Probably somthing to do with serving (Gordon) hash(ish) (c)lowns. Leathal skunk in the happy meals! Why do you think they are calld “happy” meals! You coulden’t make it up.
Shows how much you know, Isaac Hayes is not dead. Thetans are immortal.
I once met Shobna Gulati, too. She was in Dolcis buying school shoes for a child. She was being really fussy about it all and getting in the way. She carped on about it being too expensive – Dolcis! And her off the telly and all! So I shouted “well that’s YOUR opinion” in her face and ran off.
First bit is true, last bit is a lie. You couldn’t make up the FACT that I made it up. END AS. SIMPLE OF!!!11!!!eleven
No food was involved and all parties continue breathing to the best of my knowledge. And there were no blaring zombie musicians.
Fifteen years ago I spotted Stephen Milligan in ASDA buying oranges and women’s hosiery.
Just goes to show.
I am wracked with guilt. I met Norman Cook once. There was no food involved but he did smoke a couple of my cigarettes and I gave him a beer. What if he dies of lung cancer or alcoholism? It’ll be MY FAULT.
I’m worried, I had a Burger King ten years ago. I could pop my clogs any time now without warni
I just realised. I met Harry Secombe too and he is dead.
Somebody stop me!!!!!1one
Continuing my jetset, celebrity lifestyle, I once trailed round the ASDA at Trafford Park behind Tony Wilson.
Asda. More food than you can shake a stick at. Anthony H. Wilson. Death.
ENOUGH SAID.
I’m never eating again.
I once met Jill Dando. Briefly.
I’ve got it – this comment is a cunning re-write of “Ike’s Rap II/Help Me Love” from “Black Moses”.
Either that or “Music 2 Years” is a cunt.
Jade Goody’s local kebab shop owner must be mortified.
I once saw Jeremy Paxman going into a bakery.
Just goes to show, people really fucking love talking about when they once saw someone famous.
Can I go through the rest? Saw Simon Callow walking down the street, passed Thom Yorke on a street corner, saw John Snow walking his dog on Parliament Hill, saw James Dean Bradfield doing some food shopping in Marks & Spencers, and passed by Billie Piper in House of Fraser.
Man, that feels better.
dai, the use of Ocamas razor tells us he is, infact, a cunt.
I once saw Marcus Brigstocke shopping in the lingerie section of Oxford Street M&S.
Alas, he’s not long for this world
I met Antonio Fargas in a crack den in Brixton. He was “jive talking” with his ho or some such. I asked him if he was dissing me to which he replied in the affirmative. So I knocked the cunt spark out.
The cunt.
Make it up? I’d like to see THAT.
Isn’t Antonio Fargas about 75 now? Isn’t lamping a wrinkly a bit ageist?
Yes. Water too. Avoid both Joseph.
I met someone once. They were a person and so am I. We interacted somehow with some sort of inconsequential result.
It’s bollocks if you ask me. Steadman never “met” Isaac Hayes in Brixton BK. He might have “seen” a black guy that looks a bit like Samuel L Jackson and got confused. A bit of “they all look the same to me” going on there I’d wager.
Joseph Steadman is clearly a hippo fud.
Burnel
Nah. Fuck ‘im the cunt.
He went down like Shobna Gulati on Dev out of Corrie.
I had a burger for lunch today. Went to the staff canteen so there were no famous musicians in attendance. Although the guy from accounts was there and he’s learning flamenco guitar. While eating I wrote verse two for m2y’s song:
“Dead rock stars,
yeah,
won’t lie down,
like zombies,
crawling out of low graves,
with PAs,
turned up too loud,
yeah yeah yeah,
Banging on their drums,
bursting my eardrums,
got burn em
in the crematorium,
yeah,
save us from ending up deaf and
not being able to afford hearing
aids because NuLiarBore cut the
budget and Gordon Clown gave all
the PC NHS hearing aids away to
immigrints.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
You couldn’t make it up.”
Friend of mine did an MOT on John Peel’s car once.
10 years later – BAM! He got herpes, and John Peel died.
What more evidence do you need?
What are “extra fries”? Doesn’t mention any other fries for them to be extra to. I’m not a Burger King expert (far too librul for that kind of lowbrow troughing, thankyouverymuch), but aren’t they just fries? Or does he mean that Isaac Who? already had fries, but had ordered some extra fries, making two lots of fries?
Stop looking at me like that, it’s important. We need to establish the amount of BK fries that constitutes safe fries.
HOW MANY FRIES KILLED HIM? I DEMAND TO KNOW.
TELL ME!
(please)
I wish Nu-Liar-Bore would die, but sadly I fear it never will. My friend works in St Guys and says there’s a secret section of the mortuary where the organs of dead hard-working Brits are removed and stockpiled for transplanting into ailing Guardian readers, lesbians and immigrants. I predict a PC super-state by 2030. DON’T LET IT HAPPEN FELLOW BRITAINS! VOTE BNP!
Genius on so many level. Particularly fine use of the first person plural as though you’re competing in the olympics, not sitting in an office whining.
Nu-liar-bore can never die, it would take a silver bullet at midnight and platinum first edition of the Daily Mail………
Levels
About eight years ago I bumped into David Haig wot played Inspector Grimm in the Thin Blue Line. He was walking with his wife (I assume it was his wife) through the walled gardens in Torquay. I say bumped into, more espied from afar. Either way, while he might not be dead in the physical sense, I can’t help but feel that chance meeting put the khybosh on his career.
Nice spot, Far (Mister Q?). I do like the notion that some regular lardarses could have got huffy about petrol prices, taken up cycling and got to Olympic champion standard in less than a year.
Oh, and anyone using the word “velodrome” when they’d never heard it a week ago, as is almost certainly the case in James’s case, is clearly a weevil’s ovipositor.
Velodrome is a great word. Sounds like it was made up for the film Logan’s Run.
Actually, that’s pretty catchy.
Just like FOODDEATH!! It’s WAR PEOPLE!
Mad Max 2 : Beyond The Velodrome
I met Roald Dalhl once as a child, he’d just finished writing a book, I think it was called ‘The Twats’. Maybe it was about Joseph Steadman
And now Roald Dalhl is dead. Makes you think…
I met Madeleine McCann once. But it’s fine, she’s definitely still alive.
This is actually pretty insightful – everyone eats, everyone dies. There’s a very obvious correlation there. Its probably like an squared distribution, as the more or less you eat to each extreme quickens the pace of an untimely end.
I’m just not sure which of my 87,600 meals (assuming i get to 80) will do for me.
I read this blog, realised how dangerous food is and built a time machine so I could go back in time to the seventies and tell Karen Carpenter to steer clear of it. Job well done I think.
Yeah thanks for that, looks like someones going to have to build a time machine to go back in time now to shoot Karen Carpenter instead.
I physically bumped into Tom Baker once, but I can safely say that there’s no chance of that resulting in his death because the man is so massive that nothing short of a building collapse could damage him in any way.
Any word with ‘drome’ in it is awesome. In fact I’m going to make up as many as I can from now on. HYS is ‘the twatodrome’. Uhm, my bedroom now becomes ‘the fuckodrome’ or maybe ‘the shagodrome’. I think my house will be ‘the homodro … ah, fuck, that’s not good …
“Yeah thanks for that, looks like someones going to have to build a time machine to go back in time now to shoot Karen Carpenter instead.”
Instead? Now I’m no fan of any Carpenter (apart from the film one sometimes, and the woodworking ones if they have a stray capital), but perhaps time-travelling to shoot the skeletal warbler after Rhinestone Choirboy’s efforts in ensuring she can fit under doors strikes me as a touch harsh.
Personally, I’m all over alt-F4′s quite beautiful musical composition. It should be enshrined in a Songodrome. Unless that turns out to be a building for mutated Cameroonian footballers.
These comments have got hella dull. Irony/sarcasm/taking the piss is funny the first 18 times. Eveyone going !!!!one!1!!eleven!!! isn’t funny. It isn’t anything. Fuck off and die.
Kieth Chegwin saw me when I was a baby and said I was cute.
My mum saw the violinist from ELO in the frozen foods section of Marks and Spencer, and he’s still alive!
I think we now have the key to longevity: more M&S TV-dinners and fewer BK Whoppers.
IT”S A SCIENCE FACT PEOPLE!!!!two!
Was he on the drink at the time?
Shobna Gulati iz WELL fit. Innit.
@bored, that just proves Cheggers is a paedo.
I saw Lemmy and Wilko Johnson drinking BEER with Jack Daniels chasers in Dingwalls. That was over twenty years ago and they’re both still alive. Therefore Joseph Steadman is a foetid monkey minge.
I met Gary Glitter and my bottom still hurts.
Perhaps Music 2 Years was attempting a haiku.
Isaac Hayes now dead
Shame for he was Shaft and Chef
Could not make it up