Before attempting the following question, please remember the following:
- Innocent until proven guilty is only for white people
- Torture is OK if you do it to really nasty people
- All prisons are five-star hotels and Cuba is the destination this summer.
- The Geneva Convention is all about road signs or something.
Got those at the front of your mind? Good. Does the Guantanamo conviction justify the existence of the US prison?
Guantanamo should remain open, the people kept inside are not innocent decent people, they are nasty people who are involved in terror. Let them rot..
The ones who got out, were lucky. there was not enough proof, but there are all involved or they wouldn’t have been held there.
Let’s grow up folks, these people are not being held for fun.
[juleshampstead], London, United Kingdom
Oh, I dunno. I have it on good authority that the people who administer the waterboardings think it’s “wicked radical.”
Guananamo isn’t the best solution but it’s a better solution than EU “human” rights legislation and UK judiciary that prevents us from deporting illegal immigrants and all islamists that have encouraged racial extremism in the UK.
[iceagecometh]
Yeah, if you don’t think it’s somehow sinister that the EU doesn’t have legislation allowing them to detain people at will without proof, condone torture under the grounds it’s “not really” torture, and bypass its own laws by shunting this all off into another country that doesn’t want it there, you can fuck off back to Stalinist Russia, hippy.
How many HYS readers know that over 50 detainees have already been released… and found back on the battle field in Afghanistan & Iraq?
If there is proven mistreatment of detainees, and not just allegations, then condemn those. But Korans were never flushed down the toilet, they are too big. But, U.S, guards have had feces thrown on them.
The Geneva Convention allows prisoners on the battle field not in uniform to be shot. Would you rather that or detention?
Stephan Wright, Atlanta, United States
As with any post that begins “How many HYS readers know that…” this is a trick question. The correct answer is “None, they all just make it up.”
56 Responses to “The Koran is too big to flush”
“But Korans were never flushed down the toilet, they are too big”
Genius
Wow, Stephen Wright’s stand-up material has gone downhill a bit.
“The Geneva Convention allows prisoners on the battle field not in uniform to be shot. Would you rather that or detention?”
I’d love to see the HYS international court… “Well, you may have tortured this person and held them for years without any legal recourse - but you didn’t shoot them, so well done, not guilty”
PS the Geneva Conventions are generally against anyone getting shot, so I’m not entirely sure where Stephan Wright gets his ideas from.
Well, I do, actually, I’m just too polite to say it out loud
guantanamo doesn’t sound that bad if they get to do waterboarding. You can’t even do that at butlins.
i bet they have playstations in their cells and cream cakes for afters.
Tell me!
Aside from Dick Cheney’s testimony (apparently some of the released afghans were flown to afghanistan, where they were late, shock horror, to be found again later!!), there are reports that one of the released detainees did do a spot a suicide bombing. Its almost like this arab didnt enjoy his free holiday and seem intent on making a protest! honestly! you couldn’t make it up.
AAAARRGGGH. I just can’t explain how angry this f*%$er made me. How can you explain to someone so stupid how stupid they are?
I’m going to find juleshampstead, give him/her a good kicking ‘cos of them being a terriorist an that innit’.
And if they try and protest that they’re not, I’ll just tell them I wouldn’t be kicking them if they weren’t, and I might let them go later because I don’t have enough proof, but until then how would they like to be to lie down on a board so they can better enjoy a nice drink of water. Just in case they feel like telling me anything else afterwards.
Batten down the hatches people, we got a big one coming in.
Latest HYS topic “Should we scrap the Census ?”
Now I’m running a book on how many posts it takes before “Another ZaNuLiarBore plot to hide the illegal immigrants” is posted.
Smart money says a page or less!
Guananamo?
It doesn’t sound as bad when you call it that, more like a fruit drink than an illegal jail for ‘wrong uns’
maybe they had a big toilet
All this ‘flushing the Koran down the bog’ sounds like a Zionist plot to disrupt our drainage infrastructure and bring the country to its foul-smelling knees.
This nefarious Human Rights Act is behind everything that’s wrong and unjust, isn’t it? It’s more eviler than Skeletor.
Agreed, Far-Q. Most of the posts here tread a fine line between tragedy and comedy, but this one makes me genuinely upset, if that’s not too homoey a thing to say here.
To attempt to restore the balance, allow me to do the SYB equivalent of a picture of cute little kittens - for me, the two finest non-Nelson insults I’ve ever heard:
1. Fanny like a dropped pie
2. You couldn’t punch clay that ugly
I forget who said them, and why, but I imagine Fucko The Clown was responsible in some capacity.
Racial extremism. Does he mean Chinese people’s toes, or is terrorism perpetrated by only the most very brown of brown people?
We may have a winner, the eighth post in the topic brings us -
Also, we get -
Actually, my last census form contained no questions about my choice of underpants. I suspect the Government may have sent a specially tedious and intrusive form to you, because you’re twitching tadpole’s twathole.
“But Korans were never flushed down the toilet, they are too big”
What! These people get given toilets?
LUXURY! YOU COULDN’T MAKE IT UP…
News has just come in that a laptop has been stolen from the car of a civil servant who works for the Department of Dental Hygiene and Underwear. It’s said to contain details of thousands of peoples toothbrushes and their taste in undergarments.
Thank you ZioNuBlooriarBroongovernment. They’re going to know my underpants and be able to steal my identity with this knowledge. Then they’ll plant a fuckload of bombs up their own arses and blow up a busload of abused kids.
Remove the ‘Great’ from the signs, this is just ‘Britain’. Soon it will be ‘Britannistan’. Then it will be ‘Deirdre Rashid Barlow’. After that, it won’t be worth living here anymore.
As Jeremy Hardy once said on my TV when asked why the police would arrest innocent people…”they’re easier to catch!”
We tried and tried and tried…
I’m trying to think up a rational reply here, maybe something funny to say or a great observation. But I can’t. Everything on HYS just saps the will to live. The people of HYS are cunts.
“The people of HYS are cunts.”
but at least they’re our cunts
You can’t. And that’s why the good lord gave us piano wire, lamp posts and petrol.
“But Korans were never flushed down the toilet, they are too big”
Dam those moslum extrem racilas and there kevlar paged Korans. It makes it almost imposible to rip them up to flush them down the loo! And when you do manage it it all gets stuck in the u-bend. Makes a right mess.
“And that’s why the good lord gave us piano wire, lamp posts and petrol”
and boris johnson’s great-grandad
“Let’s grow up folks”
Does anyone else feel violated by the way such a manatee’s wizard’s sleeve thinks they are more enlightened than anyone else, and then manages to be so condescending about it?
Justify the existence of Guantanamo Bay? Jeez, USA doesn’t need the BBC’s permission, or HYS contributors, or anyone else’s permission for that matter, Gitmo is doing a fine job, and no-one has the power to shut it down, least of all the sandal wearing, beard stroking UK lefty BBC / Guardian press corps. Anyone who disagrees with Gitmo is either a) a terrorist sympathiser, or b) a naïve, ignorant pinko who has been lied to and who has no sense of perspective and cannot think for themselves.
YanK In teh uK, London Town
Well that’s all of you told!
I don’t really know what a pinko is, so I must be a terrorist sympathiser. Off to an illegal offshore toture camp with me! This thread is so tragic it’s almost not funny. End of!
I’ve got dark hair and a rucksack. Maybe I should hand myself in, I bet I could work on my tan in Guantanamo bay (I bet Barry Manilow has written a song about it…). I look a little bit like someone who might be a terrorist so I must be guilty - FACT.
You couldn’t make it up.
Trust me - I hug trees.
Oh my. Until I got to the byline I thought the previous comment was llamafarmer waxing satirical. Someone actually wrote that with a straight face, and I just died a little inside.
“Guatanamo prison is justified as a counter to religious & political liberalists who have greatly undermined our ability to deal with criminals, terrorists & even win war.
There are MANY more & worse evils in the world than Guatanamo & MANY are perpetrated by those who condem Guatanamo
It is crazy that Muslim religious fanatics use their religion to justify murdering westerners & non believers & then western religious fanatics protect & justify kindness to those who murder in gods name.
Iain Connochie ”
I honestly cannot get my head round how these people have managed to get out of the door in the morning. Arguments based on A is less evil than B therefor A is fine. I hate this.
AND this idea of “people have undermind our ability to fight crime by being nice” I.E. Thes librels wont let us string people up for looking funny. How can they!ARRRRGGGG!!!!!!!
This was suposed to be a rebutal of these ideots arguments, but I am just to angry.
Sorry Misha, forgot the quotation marks. I think it was because of all the boiling bile stirred up by the pages of purest, blinding idiocy I’d been reading for the last ten minutes!
Obviously Stephan, you tear out the pages individually, wipe your arse (sorry, ass!) on each, and then flush.
Erm, so I’ve heard…
Surely a piss take, No?
Random capitalisation, coherence, references to sandals.
If it’s not a piss take, he’s clearly a cretinous gangrenous fuckstick whose parents would have had more chance bringing up an intelligent being if they’d raised his rotting placenta into adulthood instead of him.
Christ, I’ve just read some of the census and GCSE topics’ replies. It’s pretty terrifying when Topsy Turvy is making the most sensible and reasoned points out of anybody.
You need to get yourself one of them handy flushable Korans from the Collins Gem range. Possibly marketed as the Kollins Koncise Koran.
“juleshampstead” is only allowed to use crayons, but refuses to touch the brown ones.
But… you… they… it… he…
*headasplode*
Some of these so-called “people”, after we magnanimously released them as a sign of our good will, turned up back in their own countries shooting at our soldiers! The geneva conventions, as quaint as they are, were certainly never meant to apply in such circumstances. The Geneva conventions were written to apply when civilized countries go to war, like the French and the Germans who really, are mostly, people just like us. We can’t apply “human” rights to muslimic arab fanatifacsists who cast doubt on our marvellous police and brave soldiers with the ridculous suggestion that they might detain inncocent people!!!! Hello??? Our police and military PROTECT the innocent. It’s arab sub-humans that want to kill us. End of.
Mr Ampersand, with all due respect you miss my point. These dam pedo terrorists are printing there Korans on tare proof material so that we cannot rip them up. Stops us being able to knifecrime them to. What is the world coming to when a white man can’t knifecrime and flush some terrorist literature? It’s all these dam human rights and stuff.
Humm. I just re-read my last post. This is getting very very strange. Im going to have a stiff drink.
Drink, eh?
A special mention for anyone who uses the word “cometh”, in any context, ever. Definitely a llama’s ladybits. Also anyone who comes into the census thread chortling about putting “Jedi” down as their religion.
Incidentally, the story was that the Koran was dropped into a toilet bucket. Buckets? Luxury!
He was trying to type ‘ice age comet’ referring to the Yucatan impact that killed the dinosaurs, but got it wrong.
He is an HYSer after all.
Sign me up with the Sense Of Humour Faliure Brigade (currently on exercise with the PC Brigade) over this one.
Western democracy is the greatest system of government the world has ever seen because it’s about freedom of expression and protection against the tyranny of authority. And that’s why anyone who disagrees with it needs to be locked up forever without trial.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH!
How the FUCK do people without the mental capacity to use a fucking comma properly manage the intellectual gymnastics needed to hold that sort of opinion without their fucking heads exploding? TELL ME!
I know HYS’ers aren’t the type to let facts get in the way of a good rant, but, even by the most extreme US government claims, the number of ‘returned to the battlefield’ doesn’t exceed 30, and of the seven specifically named as doing so at least three have been shown to be fabrications. Not that this matters, as we all know them arabic sorts with their Qu’razy Qu’rans would all kill us soon as look at us anyway given half a chance. Lock ‘em up and throw away the key.
Sorry, that should read Qur’azy Qur’ans. Apologies to anyone offended by the error.
Is Stephan Wright totally sure he’s got the cause and effect right for “Men Were Held Without Trial For Months And Were Humiliated And Tortured By The American Government” and “Men Decided To Shoot At American Soldiers”?
I have found one of them that makes sence! A very good reason to keep them all in Guantanamo!
“I’ve an idea. We’ll take all those held in the prison and place them next door to the next poster that thinks they ought to be released.
Deal?
Tarzan Man, United States”
The flat next door to me is only a 1 bedroom flat. They would never all fit and think of the noise.
If you like prisoners so much why don’t they come live here?
“I’ve an idea. We’ll take all those held in the prison and place them next door to the next poster that thinks they ought to be released.
Deal?”
Bit one sided. I’ll agree but only for as long as you take their place in gitmo as a suspected terrorist.
Do we got a deal, fucktard?
“Men Decided To Shoot At American Soldiers”
American soldiers who, meanwhile, have invaded, destroyed, and currently occupy the home they’ve just been returned to.
How did it go in the Oval Office?
“We’ve got to give the people their revenge for 911 otherwise we are out on our fucking ears”
“We sure fucked up chief”
“How about we invade all those defenceless half-ass countries that have ever pissed us off. Trash the fucking place. Take whatever the fuck we want”
“Can’t we just bomb the fuck out of them? If we put our guys on the ground they’ll get their assess kicked fer sure”
“We already did bomb the fuck out of em. Not much left we can blow up”
“I know! Soon as we get there we’ll kidnap a couple thousands of men of fighting age, drag em off in chains to some disease-ridden hangover of the cold war, constantly beat the living fuck out of them for years, shit on their korans, and make damn sure everybody knows about it.”
“Sounds good to me”
“Is it legal. I’m err, thinking of the PC human-rights brigade”
“Gimme that pen….it’s legal”.
You couldn’t make it up.
Morning all. Shouldn’t that be “innocent UNLESS proven guilty”? Oh, wait, this is the Twig administration, innit. As you were.
I’m going for a fag, and I’m going to blow passive smoke towards London.
I don’t understand.
I’ve always found Koreans quite small and flushable. No need to even rip them up.
We’re in it for the oil, aren’t we?
No, it’s until. Because the expectation should be that you enter the court presumed innocent and it’s not until your guilt is proven that the court treats you as a guilty person. The distinction is that “until” plays towards the court process where “unless” implies that the decision could already have been made.
“Guananamo isn’t the best solution”
Guananananananana, BATMAN
My recommendation is only to read the rantings of morons on HYS while drinking a nice brew from a mug like this:
http://cache.spreadshirt.net/image.php?type=image&partner_id=969018&product_id=5814016&img_id=1&size=huge&bgcolor_images=white
Yeah keep all those afghan taxi drivers locked up so they cant emigrate to the english socialist paradise and then rip us off by always going the long way.