Delusions of Grandeur and Moderation Martyrs and Racists and Self-appointed Sages28 Aug 2008 05:29 pm
By Alex

Thanks to Richard. Someone by the name of Raze has been experimenting with the BBC’s joke thread.

The BBC ‘have your say’ page has a thread about jokes.
as a test of the pc bbc I have made a number of posts with the following results.

My Irish joke was posted
My scotch joke was posted.
My George Bush joke was posted.
My jewish joke was posted (surprised by this)
My sexist men are idiots joke, published.

However my gollywog joke was rejected and my joke about mosliems was also rejected
who would have guessed ?

Next they’ll be making you let all your slaves go.

35 Responses to “Two Gollywogs Walk into a Bar”

  1. on 28 Aug 2008 at 5:37 pm Mr Cat

    My sexist men are idiots joke, published.

    I can hear the sexist mens lobby sitting up now and racing to complain about such blatant prejudice.

    And scotch is a drink.

  2. on 28 Aug 2008 at 5:39 pm AndyS

    what was his scotch joke? we need more jokes about whisky in this world.

    what a venereal marmoset’s front bottom

  3. on 28 Aug 2008 at 5:49 pm DC

    Maybe they decided it based on the hilarity of the joke and their relative merits, rather than the subject, which is why the Jew joke got through - because everybody can laugh at the Jews.

  4. on 28 Aug 2008 at 5:51 pm Golly! What A Twat!

    My post making me look like an obsessive who thinks the BBC are spying on my every move was posted.

    (and what’s the betting you don’t put the ‘Golly’ bit in when you floor your pinhead mates with your comic precision and delivery)

  5. on 28 Aug 2008 at 6:37 pm zeeba

    “mosliems”? Mausoleums? Can’t really see any comic potential there.

    And sexist men are idiots. As are sexist women. And Raze is clearly a pseudonym for Enid Blyton, she was constantly pissing herself about golliwogs. FACT.

    Relax, I’m a scotch.

  6. on 28 Aug 2008 at 6:38 pm yeGods

    Your “mosliem” joke was rejected because there’s no such thing as a mosliem.

    Learn to spell. Learn to type.

  7. on 28 Aug 2008 at 6:42 pm put together wrong

    Maybe, just maybe, is jokes were not funny? Just a thought. Shame on BBC for posting scotch jokes, I happen to take my single malt very seriously. I also take those little people off Robinson’s jam jolly seriously too, and so should he.

    You couldn’t make it up. Could you? TELL ME!

  8. on 28 Aug 2008 at 7:57 pm Brian Blessed

    I have a scotch joke:

    A bottle of White Horse walks into a bar. The barman says, “Why the long face?”

    Relax, I’m a drooling cretin.

  9. on 28 Aug 2008 at 8:01 pm 773 (metric)

    The nearest town to my idyllic country residence has two giftshops, and they both sell a range of ceramic gollywogs. A friend of Mrs 773 was visiting from Canada, that well known bleeding heart loony liberal multicultural PC hippiefest, and she almost has a coronary when she saw them in the window*

    You could make it up, but I haven’t.

    *she’d been looking for the watermelon eating gollywog for years, to complete her collection**

    **I could have made this up, and indeed I did make it up in an attempt to inject a bit of humour into my post. You were expecting the coronary to have been as a result of rabid offence, but I did that classic trick of giving you an unexpected twist, in suggesting - after a pause, after you’d had time to make assumptions about the cause of the heart attack, that the coronary was caused by wild and unrestrained excitement. Truth is she was horrified, and appeared even to go so far as to blame ME for the gollywogs, as if by living 7 miles from this town and needing to occasionally go there to do a bit of grocery shopping and get some bracing sea air I was complicit in not only the stocking of gollywogs in both shops but of actually instigating the global slave trade and personally being responsible for all the lynchings in the segregation-era US.

    Good job I hid all my Al Jolson records before she arrived.

  10. on 28 Aug 2008 at 8:15 pm Danivon

    My girlfriend does collect gollywogs. She is half-Jamaican. Apparently you can be black and not be offended by them.

    Mind you, I bet that Raze’s gollywog joke was just shit.

  11. on 28 Aug 2008 at 8:18 pm Janice Pebbles, WIRRAL, ENGLAND (NOT UK)

    Joking apart — He has a fayre point?

  12. on 28 Aug 2008 at 9:34 pm Admiral Spunktrousers

    He’s absolutely right to be outraged, though — of course all of these cases are completely equitable.

    I mean, everyone remembers the hundreds of years of ‘Scotch’ slavery instigated by white English colonialists, yes?

  13. on 28 Aug 2008 at 9:56 pm Fresh, WALES (UK or not UK)

    I really need to know this gollywog joke now. Not interested in a mosliem joke though, as I have no idea what it means.

    A bit fucked off that he didn’t put a Welsh joke in there though. That’s prejudiced against us, if anything.

  14. on 28 Aug 2008 at 10:18 pm Kelvin

    Maybe, just maybe, is jokes were not funny?

    The existence of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps is ample evidence that there is no-one left at the BBC qualified to judge what is and is not funny.

  15. on 28 Aug 2008 at 11:57 pm I'm the vicitm

    They didn’t print my peedos-in-tight-speedos joke. And I sent it a three dozen times easily, the final half dozen had “I BET YOU DAREN’T PRINT THIS!!!” on the bottom and they STILL didn’t print it.

    They didn’t print my ‘three nuns in a bath’ joke.

    They didn’t print my ‘Two gay HYS Moderators walk into a bar’ joke either.

    But they printed the one about a racist white policeman getting ‘pig-on-a-spit’ revenge raped with a by two huge black communist transvestites!

    You couldn’t make it up. PC-Nazi Cunts.

  16. on 29 Aug 2008 at 12:30 am Misha

    “I posted 5 racist jokes and the BBC only published 3 of them!”

    In HYS world, this equates to the BBC being overly PC.

    Also, is a “gollywog joke” a joke about gollywogs (the now-considered-offensive figurines/dolls), or just a racist way of saying “a racist joke about black people”?

  17. on 29 Aug 2008 at 1:40 am Dafydd Gruffydd Jones

    Why no Welsh joke boyo?

    It worries me that whilst the majority of his jokes were posted, the ’sexist men are idiots’ joke was apparently published. Letters page of the Mail I presume.

  18. on 29 Aug 2008 at 3:25 am Rod Wrongnob

    So what was it the racist white policeman was getting raped with? Tell me!

  19. on 29 Aug 2008 at 9:00 am llamafarmer

    “My Irish joke was posted”

    Well of course it was, Gaelic is a funny language.

  20. on 29 Aug 2008 at 9:03 am Fargo

    Maybe the ones you wrote about the niggers and the towelheads just weren’t funny enough, Raze.

  21. on 29 Aug 2008 at 9:28 am setyourfacestostunned

    Don’t forget Paki jokes where the butt of the joke cannot pronouce words in the proper English (not UK) way e.g. fifty is pronounced bibbudy.

    Save from drowning, foot off head etc.

    Relax - I’m Bangladeshi (not West Pakistan).

  22. on 29 Aug 2008 at 9:46 am Mooska

    I’ve never really understood the reasoning that says it’s OK to use words like ‘nigger’ and ‘towelhead’ as long as you’re doing it *ironically*.

    Seriously, can anyone explain it to me?

  23. on 29 Aug 2008 at 9:57 am Philbert

    I’ve never really understood the reasoning that says it’s OK to use words like ‘nigger’ and ‘towelhead’ as long as you’re doing it *ironically*.

    Seriously, can anyone explain it to me?

    Not sure about ironically, but it also seems to be alright in the context of rap lyrics (although then, obviously, it’s nigga

  24. on 29 Aug 2008 at 10:23 am Fresh, WALES (UK or not UK)

    It’s not ‘towelhead’ it’s ‘raghead’ if you don’t mind.

  25. on 29 Aug 2008 at 10:27 am setyourfacestostunned

    The two words Mooska highlighted are not being used ironically but satirically. I think.

    A la Johnny Speight. Well, I was when using the P-word. Amazing how quickly the defences go up to this sort of thing?

  26. on 29 Aug 2008 at 10:31 am Bo

    we need more jokes about whisky in this world

    I like my women the way I like my whiskey: 15 years old and full of coke!

    Relax - I’m Gary Glitter

  27. on 29 Aug 2008 at 10:45 am Mooska

    Amazing how quickly the defences go up to this sort of thing?

    I’m not trying to start an argument or anything. :) My feeling is that those are offensive words whatever the context, but I am open to being convinced that there’s some kind of ironic - or satirical, if you like - reason for doing so.

    Apols for a second serious post (gaaah) but am genuinely wondering if I’ve missed something.

  28. on 29 Aug 2008 at 12:42 pm Sam

    I’m fairly sure you could get away with using the word “nigger” in the context of singing a song, such as “nigger-nigger-nigger-nigger-nigger-nigger-nigger-nigger BATMAN!”

    Not irony, but still permissible. Probably best not to sing that version in Brixton, though.

  29. on 29 Aug 2008 at 2:01 pm Rhinestone Choirboy

    I’m sure no one on HYS would ever be seriously into 12 year old Scotch. They hate peedos on there.

  30. on 29 Aug 2008 at 3:49 pm Mooska

    I’m fairly sure you could get away with using the word “nigger” in the context of singing a song, such as “nigger-nigger-nigger-nigger-nigger-nigger-nigger-nigger BATMAN!”

    Ooooh! He said it again! [/terryjones]

  31. on 29 Aug 2008 at 4:24 pm Gordon Hodgson

    I’m sure the jew joke was published here. So you were scammed by a scientific genius!

  32. on 29 Aug 2008 at 4:32 pm Sally

    I’m not trying to start an argument or anything. My feeling is that those are offensive words whatever the context, but I am open to being convinced that there’s some kind of ironic - or satirical, if you like - reason for doing so.

    Because the words themselves are not offensive - they are just a collection of letters. The offense only comes from the intent behind them. And if the intent is to take the piss out of a bunch of racists and make the things they say look as ridiculous as they really are, that’s ok with me.

  33. on 29 Aug 2008 at 6:07 pm Rich(MMath)

    What’s the betting the joke was something like:

    A gollywog walks into a bar. It was an iron bar. Yes! Take that, you sub-human black blacky black nig-nog homeboy.

    Rhetorical question:

  34. on 01 Sep 2008 at 3:12 pm Simon

    what’s a mosliem? is it a religious persuasion involving nazi *ahem* german prison themed orgies as a religious ceremony?

    Relax, i’m a blackshirt.

    Rhetorical question: God made Adam and Eve not Adam and a black man. Think about that PC brigade!

  35. on 02 Sep 2008 at 1:53 pm Chris

    There were plenty of golliwogs on sale at the Great Dorset Steam Fair. Along with T-shirts saying ‘If you can read this the bitch fell off’, etc.
    I was busy looking for David Allan Coe records but couldn’t find any, apparently people think his song ‘N***ger F***er’ is racist instead of being a pisstake of thick rednecks AND an attempt to use as many banned words in one song as possible.