More from the beeb’s complaints log. Thanks again.
RADIO 2 – MUSIC GOES ROUND
“I thoroughly enjoy this programme. I sing along every week.”
RADIO 4 – FRONT ROW
“They keep talking about ‘Hip Hop dancing’ without actually saying what it is.”
RADIO 4 – PM
Re. Humming sound heard in Norfolk: “In the 1930′s a similar humming sound was heard in the air in Yorkshire and I felt the programme should have discussed if there was a possible connection.”
NEWS AT 10
“I would like the BBC reporters speaking from the actual spot where soldiers are killed in Afghanistan and not sitting miles away in a hotel.”
NEWS CHANNEL
“The weather presenter was heavily pregnant, which annoyed me immensely. Instead of standing there looking as if she was about to give birth, she should just go home and look after herself. Someone needs to tell her to stop being so silly.”
OLYMPICS 2008: THE GAMES TODAY
“Gabby Logan is a poor quality presenter. She is too ugly to look at. Please get rid of her.”
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
“Jeremy Paxman referred to Hugh Laurie as a comedian on the show. I feel that this was inaccurate as Hugh Laurie is also an actor.”
WEATHER
“Scotland should not be included in the weather forecasts. They have their own Parliament after all.”
65 Responses to “Further Complaining”
WEATHER
“Scotland should not be included in the weather forecasts. They have their own Parliament after all.”
I agree. Perhaps we could airbrush them from the weather map, or have a big skull and crossbones graphic over Scotland with ‘Here be Dragons’ in Gothic Script. Or ‘Pict Barbarians’. Alternatively: ‘Ginger Bagpipe Botherers, sharp-nosed skinflints and deep-fried Mars Bar gourmets. With their own parliament.’
hmmm maybe the imperial measurements people really have died.
These are quality though. Especially the weather presenter one
“Someone needs to tell her to stop being so silly.”
Genius.
Relax – its friday
Gabby Logan is ugly?
I’ve got a used tissue collection the size of a bloated Manatee that says otherwise.
A fair point well made.
End Of
Gabby Logan ugly?
She’s in the wank
“Bank”.
Re: The last one – apparently Parliament controls the weather, too!
Re: The heavily pregnant weather-forecaster. OH NOES! Those pesky wimmins are disgusting everybody by daring to work while pregnant AGAIN! It’s enough to make you hurl.
Idiotic donkey flaps.
Yeah, and get rid of all the Scotch weather presenters too. They always move the shit weather to England.
Relax, I’m a single malt.
“NEWS AT 10
“I would like the BBC reporters speaking from the actual spot where soldiers are killed in Afghanistan and not sitting miles away in a hotel.”
Maybe add targets on themselves aswell?
Isn’t it a bit disrespectful to stamp all over the bodies of dead soldiers when reporting them as casualties?
Bet they’re slapping their foreheads now. Schoolboy error.
This post is highly innaccurate- since he fails to mention that Jeremy Paxman is a tv presenter.
donkey cocks!
first I’ve heard about Gabby Logan being ugly
pregnant women are not incapable…in the words of my doctor, in ecuador they work out in the rice paddies and stop when their waters break, and once they’ve given birth they get right back to it(fairly extreme but hey ho)…and he is the most right wing person i can think of. I actually think he may have a point. pregnancy is not a disease people!
as for the rest…utter balls
OLYMPICS 2008: THE GAMES TODAY
“Gabby Logan is a poor quality presenter. She is too ugly to look at. Please get rid of her.”
This is inaccurate as she should not be classed as a presenter. Post should read:
OLYMPICS 2008: THE GAMES TODAY
“Gabby Logan is poor quality wank material. She is too ugly to look at. Please get rid of her.”
It’s a well-known fact that the engorged bellies of pregnant weather forecasters needlessly block extra areas of the metrological map. Usually the bits I want to look at. They should employ small folk like Jeanette Krankie to present the weather.
Though obviously not Jeanette herself, what with her being Scottish. And liable to procreate with Mr Krankie.
RADIO 2 – North Sea Shipping Forcast
“I thoroughly enjoy this programme. I sing along every week.”
RADIO 4 – FRONT ROW
“They keep talking about ‘Hip Hop dancing’ without actually saying what it is. I would like to see the radio show us some moving pictures like the telly does.”
RADIO 4 – PM
“Re. Humming sound heard in Norfolk. In the 1930’s a humming sound was heard in the air in Yorkshire and I felt the programme should have discussed if there was a possible connection with UFOs.”
NEWS AT 10
“I would like [to see] the BBC reporters speaking with the actual soldiers who were killed in Afghanistan and not sitting thousands of miles away in front of a blue screen in the studio at BBC centER.”
NEWS CHANNEL
“The weather presenter was heavily pregnant, which annoyed me immensely. Her breasts were sagging down to her belly-button and her ass had grown so big you wouldn’t recognise it. It was repulsive. Give me a shaggable weather forcaster or give me death.”
OLYMPICS 2008: THE GAMES TODAY
“Gabby Logan is a cunt. End of. Please kill her. I bet this doesn’t get posted.”
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
“Jeremy Paxman referred to Hugh Laurie as a comedian on the show. I feel that this was inaccurate as Hugh Laurie is about as funny as Gordon Clown.”
WEATHER
“Weather should not be included in the weather forecasts. It is boring, innaccurate and a waste of the license TAX. Please include more variety in the weather forcast.”
Relax – I watch Channel 4.
Readers should know that there’s an old Viz letter that went “I fancy Jeanette Krankie, I can’t work out if I’m gay, straight, paedo or gerontophile”.
I would like it if they took you to the same spot for very realistic reenactment. But just cos I’d like it doesn’t mean it should happen, right?
I’m also amazed by the stuff these people don’t complain about. For example, why worry about Scotland on a weather map when you can usually see part of the foreign Ireland and sometimes even bits of France!? After all, these could be the first stage of a plot to include Britain in some kind of Europe-wide weather system!
Gabby Logan
Complainer and his ‘wife’
Hmmmmm.
god i hate piers morgan. im gonna go on britains got talent and kick him in his fucking smug face.
Gabby Logan is a poor quality presenter. She is too ugly to look at. Please get rid of her.
I thoroughly enjoy this programme. I sing along every week.
They keep talking about ‘Hip Hop dancing’ without actually saying what it is.
I would like the BBC reporters speaking from the actual spot where soldiers are killed in Afghanistan
The weather presenter was heavily pregnant, which annoyed me immensely.
Scotland should not be included in the weather forecasts. They have their own Parliament after all.
Quite a collection.
I bet when she’s squeezed the baby out she comes back on and breastfeeds it while doing the weather. There’ll be milk squirting all over the map.
Love 773s’ pictures, but I have a complaint; Once I follow the link its a hassel to get back to where I was
the GUVernment is trying to CENSOR this webswite 773 is stoppi8ng you getting back. I HAVE EVIDENCE, ONLY THE TRUE SHALL LIVE. i announced this on oxford street once, how poignant my words seem now !!!!!!!11
@773(metric)
I was happily enjoying looking at your holiday snaps, until I got to the weather presenter one. No, it’s not me. But I’ve met this guy, twice. He’s an absolute geek and I find it hilarious that you’ve found a photo that says it all. (I should add that he’s extremely smart, and actually quite a nice guy.)
My local loony liberal PC gone mad county councillors are apparently trying to push through legislation to start teaching ‘right clicking’ in schools!! Will the last one out of the country please turn off the lights!!!!!!
He looks it. And I mean that quite sincerely. He’s the kind of guy I’d like to go camping with, or perhaps drink a beer.
RADIO 2 – MUSIC GOES ROUND
“I thoroughly enjoy this programme. I sing along every week.”
This might very well have been my granny, so I think it was nasty to include this one.
My grannies are long dead, but the point stands.
OLYMPICS 2008: THE GAMES TODAY
“Gabby Logan is a poor quality presenter. She is too ugly to look at. Please get rid of her.”
@i am not happy
i understand what you mean. the above post was almost certainly my mum as she was going on about how she doesnt expect to see ugly presenters after she’s paid for the license fee. the only comfort for me is knowing that she can barely use a computer so is unable to get her views out to a wider audience. the other day she wrote an entire word document in the header and then shouted at her laptop for twenty minutes. i almost shat myself i was laughing so hard.
I am now Petty Officer Turvey on HMS HYS
The blaggards deleted my naval posts
Quick citizens of New Orleans……..All aboard HMS Turvy
RHETORICAL QUESTION: WHAT’S HIP HOP DANCING?
773, yes, but, if you right click and go back you don’t go back to where you were, you go back to the top of the home page then have to do loads of clicking before you get back their. (I’m not an internet virgin. Just lazy).
Same problem when you reload the page. If I get RSA I’ll know who to Sue.
I think it’s very important to draw a distinction between Scottish weather and English weather as the Celts move towards self-rule. Perhaps there could be some kind of enforcement to ensure that weather fronts originating in Scotland do not move across the border to England without clearance, and vice versa.
Yes and while they’re at it they ought to ban climate change too. I don’t understand precisely what it is but I’ve read about it in the papers and it sounds awfully frightful. Whoever is responsible ought to be self-defenced into an early grave and no mistake!
HYSer, here’s a rhetorical question for you: what I was suggesting was that you right click the links in the first place, and from the ‘menu’ that ‘appears’, you ‘select’ the option to open the ‘link’ in a ‘new’ ‘tab’ or ‘window’. That way you don’t ever leave your original place on this ‘page’, and if you arrange the open windows judiciously you get to look the ‘complainant’ in the ‘eye’ while reading their ‘complaint’ in a comedy accent of your choosing. Try it, it’s a ‘lot’ of fun.
no shit
‘Climate change’ is just something invented by Al Gore, Nu Liar-bore and their peado commie scientist friends to justify raising taxes, stopping us driving our cars and spying on what we put in our bins.
Excellent! ‘Thanks 773′ have just called in sick so I can stay home and gaze into the eyes of ‘complainants’ whilst muttering in a comedy accent of my choosing
LOVE THIS SCOTCH WHETHER W’ERE GETTING HERE IN EASTBOURNE!!!1!!
I want to know where you make a complaint to the BBC!
Dear BBCs,
I would like to complain that there is an over representation of stupid people on HYS. I demand you fix this post haste. Perhaps the inclusion of important topics like “How much of a twat is Topsy?”, or more long words and more use of words like “Cunt” and “twat”.
Either that or we could give up on the whole thing, get a pointy stick each and go and stand outside a local news agents stabbing Daily Mail readers. You screaming “I’m black, Gay and disabled” Me screaming “Your stupid” again and again and again. Same result, but much cheaper.
“I thoroughly enjoy this programme. I sing along every week.”
The above is not actually a complaint so the title of Nelson’s post is inaccurate.
“They keep talking about ‘Hip Hop dancing’ without actually saying what it is.”
I know! They keep talking about starting fires too and I have to obey them or they get cross.
“I know! They keep talking about starting fires too and I have to obey them or they get cross.”
I think we can call off the search for the person who likes to burn horses.
“They keep talking about ‘Hip Hop dancing’ without actually saying what it is.”
this made even more funny by the fact that there is no such thing as ‘hip hop’dancing.
“this made even more funny by the fact that there is no such thing as ‘hip hop’dancing.”
Really? I had a friend who went to “hip hop dancing” classes (because he thought it would impress girls).
Did he make that up? Did THEY make it up? Maybe NuLiarBore made the classes up so they could have something *else* to stealth tax!
It’s political correctness gone mad!
Just to remind loyal SYB Topsy-Watch fans that some weeks ago Commander Topsy declared…
a) While Hurricane Gustav Mahler rips through homes and lives, it is comforting to think his ‘dream’ hol might get buggered.
b) Is it too much to hope for that a friendly, hurricane-hurled coconut smashes his head open and his last dying sight will be of his malformed, minute brain flopping onto the sand next to him? Please tell me it’s possible.
He’s going to be rather upset when he discovers his absolute paradise has been contaminated by filthy negroes.
if there is any justice in the world barbadian immigration won’t let him in because of his shifty little eyes and pin head.
Perhaps, like Joy, he actually sees Powys in Wales as paradise and is going there for a holiday, but gets it confused with Barbados because the people in Wales have the same accent as people in the West Indies…
In which case he won’t have any hurricane-hurled coconut smashing his head in, but he might get a beating anyway. And it will probably rain a bit.
Think someone has clearly mixed up Gabby Logan with Clare Balding who is fuck ugly. And who has anything against attractive people presenting sport? Let the ugly well informed people have the news. Sport is fluff and therefore should have fluff hosts.
What the hell is Joy on about? She has managed to roll of several mildly racist Welsh comments, and then sling in some more Racist West Indian comments for good luck.
She may as well have said:
“The Welsh. Such a happy little people in there coal mines. And you know what, when they come up from the pit singing they look just like black and white minstrals. Oh de so happy happy wit’ de banjos” Stupid mare.
The last bit of Joy’s post:
Of course we Scots were miserable during Joy’s visit to our country. However, we did have a massive party as soon as the old splitarse headed back over the border (and, naturally, we got the English taxpayers to pick-up the bar bill). Result!
Jesus, no wonder the Swiss suicide rate is so fucking high.
Oh no. Oh dear. I remember once seeing a documentary about a man or woman with OCD and they had to keep washing their hands after they’d touched money in case it had previously been touched by someone who’d been to a funeral.
I feel I’m on the verge of a related episode – wherever I go now I’ll have the dark, repellent thought: I wonder whether Joy Pattinson has been here? Whether she’s driven down this road. Sat on this bench. Made wild, filthy, sweaty love on this rocky outcropping? WHAT IF SHE USED TO LIVE IN MY HOUSE?? Shat in my bog? Fuck, I’d have to burn the place down. And myself.
Kelvin?!? When oh when will you internationalists realise that 99% of all the Africans in the Carribean are the descendants of a British sponsored cultural exchange program and the truth about the black slave trade is
a) It is a myth propagated by self-hating lefties
b) All we did was END slavery (that didn’t exist in the first place anyway) in a beautiful selfless noble act of English heroism.
3) Most of the slavery was Arab-on-white slavery, Arab-on-black slavery and Black-on-Black slavery.
But will Topsy tell the good citizens of Barbados that… I hope so, preferably when loudly drunk in some less-than-salubrious bar on the wrong side of town.
@ col john matrix
theres break dancing and various other dances that are associated with hip hop culture but nothing as bland as simply ‘hip hop dancing’. its one of those terms used by people who dont know much about anything.
then again thERES no SUCH thibg as hiop hop culture cos i lsitened to gangsta rap and it certainly sint cultured. u couldnt imagine brave british solidres in Queen Victoria’s time [surpressing and murdering innocent indian civilians]to the sound of this ‘culture’!!!11!!! ME THINKS NOT
And while we’re on the subject of the Caribbean, from today’s letters page in the Western Morning Fascist.
If you took the Western Morning News as representative then down here we’d all be inbred racist Thatcher loving UKIP supporting cuntish nutjobs, essentially a region populated by HYSers, fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh and, fuck.
I do hope that next year the Trini’s decide to move the Notting Hill Carnival to Paignton…
DEBATE:Will you go abroad this summer? SENT:28-Jul-2008
Oooooh ha-ppy day!
Oooooh ha-a-ppy da-ay!
When Jesus Walked!
Oooooh ha-a-ppy day
C’mon, Sing with me people!
Oh ha-ppy day!
Clap your hands now!
When Jesus walked!
Oooo-oooh happy day!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
I believe!
Oh Ha-appy day.
In his desire to thank God for this tiny silver lining, The Reverend Goodchild forgot to mention that it will be Topsy ‘Utter Twat’ Turvey on the receiving end of the Cat4 Hurricane.