Unfocused Rage29 Aug 2008 11:06 am
If I Liked It So Much I’d Go Live There
By WellingtonPete Tong seems to have invented a whole new category. I’m calling this one the ‘Reverse IYLISMWDYGLT’
This government gets more like the “TALIBAN” everyday, Ban smoking, drinking alcohol, reading lads mags.
If I wanted to live in Afganistan I would emigrate there.
pete tong
26 Responses to “If I Liked It So Much I’d Go Live There”
Um…Pete? Pete? Mate?
none of those things are actually banned, you know. They…
Oh never mind. Carry on.
[sigh]
I agree with Pete – thanks to nu Labour, Bliar, Golden Brown et al we are now BANNED from smoking, drinking alcohol and reading lads mags.
Don’t Noo Labor and the Broonites know that this will only drive the problem underground? I but the knife gangs will still be smoking, and probably will still be wanking too.
I remember when this country used to be GREAT Britain.
Mamba’s mimsy. Although under no circumstances should he be discouraged from fucking right off.
“Bank”.
Next they will be banning you from making things up and getting angry about them.I bet you lot would love that.I’m off to Narnia where there aren’t any immigrants.END OF.FICTION/
The so-called TALIBAN are sat round reading lads mags? Shouldn’t they be at war or something? Ban them now!
I get the impression that this Pete Tong doesn’t have any idea what the Taliban is or does.
Though, to be honest, I did hear a rumour that the “TALIBAN”, along with the “SITH” and the “LEGION OF DOOM”, have joined forces with ZaNuLiarBore to ban all our quintessential ENGLISH hobbies like smoking, cricket, casual football violence and dogging.
The fucks.
“reading lads mags”
No, banning that is the *next* government’s idea.
Incidentally, I wonder what their hilarious nickname will be when it turns out we didn’t all live happily ever after? My money’s on “CONaziservativeS” or thereabouts.
they’ll be the madeupsTORYS
i’m not sure i get the concept of a taliban lad’s mag. phwoar, look at the burka on that. a 2 page spread on how to take apart and re-assemble a rusting AK47. i couldn’t make it up!
Pete Tong is just afraid that he’ll go the same way as his DJ pal Grooverider did when trying to enter Dubai loaded with drugs and porn.
Why did he capitalise and speechmark Taliban? Is it a word we have to blurt loudly and draw attention to in our sentences?
This damned government banning all of the fun things in life. They’ll be putting a block on HYS too if we’re not careful.
The CONaziservativeS lead by David Cam-MORON no doubt.
I have been sat ‘reading’ Nuts whilst smoking and quaffing a pint in the middle of Piccadilly gardens for hours now – still not been arrested. I was hoping to be arrested. I’ve heard the selection of WII games in my local prison is splendid.
Relax – I’m Pete Tong.
This post has been removed by order of the “TALIBAN”
How about David SHAMeron?…I do prefer David CaMORON though. Well done.
Watch my lips:
The CON-(self)serv(ing)-a-t(r)iv(ial) Party, lead by D(r)AVing-IDiot sCam-moron.
Does, erm… did Pete not notice that the Taliban don’t actually rule Afghanistan any more?
Because we bombed the crap out of them?
Back around 2001–2002?
Ring any bells?
No?
Ignoring the actual bollocks about what is banned, I love the ridiculous inconsistency:
-If he wanted to go to a smoke/drink/wank-free environment he’d be willing to go all the way to Afghanistan.
-He wants to legally smoke/drink/wank- but would rather stay here and moan than fuck off to France where it’s perfectly accepted.
Does anyone actually read lads mags? I thought most people just looked at the pictures and had a wank. Presumably they’ll take his lads mags when they prise them out of his cold, sticky hands.
Ah, there’ll be no stunning political wordplay should the Conservatives achieve government. See, anything that goes wrong then will STILL be the fault of the unholy Broon/Clown/BLiar/ZaNuLiarBore empire – just as everything (and I mean absolutely everything) that was a big bag of terrapin turds under the last set of Conservative governments could be directly attributed to the Unions and the last Labour government and their clearly intentional communist Winter of Discontent.
Failing that, the focus will be removed from the government and focused ever more sharply and skewed upon the mythic PC Brigade.
When you’re that stupid, you don’t have to wall off many bits of your brain off to stay utterly outraged at everything and find someone new to blame for the same things. Which is a good job, as they don’t have so much to spare.
Sorry, bit serious and worthy.
This is me doing my “TALIBAN” face.
“Bank”.
Already recorded on this site via the Telegraph or Mail HYS a long time ago was a reference to David COMMIE RON.
The HYS brigade are probably already planning their disparagement of the tories, but probably because they are too far to the left, not the right.
The tories ARE too far to the left. Only the BNP have policies that will enforce
mandatory smoking, remove the tax on beer,
and repeal the nutty PC-restrictions that prevent innocent Lad’s Mags from showing pictures of women’s fannies. However, there will also be a nationwide investigation into people with non-British sounding names, such as “Tong” for example, to establish if they have the right to live here.
If I wanted to be a wombat I’d move to Australia !!!
Pete’s been at it again, in a HYS discussion about Sat Nav:
“Added: Saturday, 30 August, 2008, 03:37 GMT 04:37 UK
Quote from BBC front page:-
“An Asian man who killed his British National Party activist neighbour in a fight has been jailed for eight years.”
I am surprised NuLabour did not give him a medal!
Sat Nav’s are NOT wiping out the rich geography and history of a place, but NuLabour ARE wiping out the culture of British society.
pete tong
Recommended by 1 person”
Don’t BNP sympathists like PT hate it when the law is applied fairly? The fact this Asian man received a prison sentence (as the white man also would had roles been reversed), doesn’t make them consider that the law perhaps isn’t as skewed in favour of the “ethnics” and against “decent, hardworking, indigenous people” as they believe it to be.
It’s almost as if they wanted the Asian man to escape punishment, just so they could use it as a recruitment point.
For many of the BNP supporters I have met, reinforcing the belief that “ethnics” are immune to the law seems to be their entire purpose in life. What do they do when a case like this takes that away from them? Continue to make shit up, of course, and, in Pete Tong’s case, shoehorn it into a discussion about Sat Nav for reasons best known to himself.
You know, I seem to remember when a white BNP type shot two gypsies in “self defence” and killed one of them, he only got three years.
Can we send Pete Tong to Afghanistan or would that constitute a war crime?
I’m far too jaded for alcohol and lad’s mags to excite me. I need speedballs and Brazilian horse porn to get me off these days. It makes me proud to be British, I tell you.