spEak You’re bRanes

Mark Easton wrote in his blog about how disproportionism in the media leads to hysterical fear of crime.

What’s the correct response? Hysterical fear of crime, naturally.

Responsibilities - I wish!!!

Person A is a responsible person who can be trusted with a knife (or a gun, or a child, or whatever).

Person B is an irresponsible person who cannot be trusted with a knife (or a gun, or a child, or whatever).

We are not allowed to discriminate between A and B as this would be an infringement of B’s “rights”.

Therefore, we must treat A in the same way as B and impose any amount of petty restrictions on both of them.

And B, being irresponsible, will evade the restrictions imposed to control him/her.

While A, being responsible, will try to abide by the restrictions which are not necessary for him/her.

A, being responsible, is far easier to police and prosecute than B. A will therefore be more disadvantaged by these restrictions than B.

Until we are once again allowed to DISCRIMINATE between A and B, things will go from bad to worse.

And no, it’s not really that difficult to tell the majority of the As and Bs apart . . .
AZLewes

Yes, the Bs all have little squinty eyes that are too close together while the As are all 6′ tall and blond, with proud chests that swell with the joy of living.

But that’s not it for poor long-suffering A and scumbag B…

[AZLewes] is spot on, however I would go one further as the situation is now in reality much more skewed in favour of the irresponsable person B.

The responsible person A is going about his legal business in the street and is unarmed.

A is approached by the irresponsable person B who is armed and intent on relieving A of his wallet containing his hard-earned cash. This is required to feed B’s drug habit. Person B pulls a knife.

Unfortunately for person B, A takes exception to B’s criminal behaviour and is morally obliged to decline the invitation to hand over his wallet. Being a fairly well built chap A defends himself using reasonable force and person B suffers hurt feelings and a cracked nail as he is forceably separated from the contents of his cuttlery draw.

PC Plod (person pC) arives on scene and decides for some reason that ‘a dispute’ (you can b***dy say tha again) has occured between person A and person B, whose ‘rights’ are now for some inexplicable reason equal even though person B is clearlt a knife wielding thug well known to the Police, and person A is just trying to get home from work.

A is fingerprinted, DNA tested, and charged with assault. Whilst A is held overnight in the cells, B is released without charge because “it is soceity wot dun it to ‘im innit?” and is therefore free to knock over A’s house during the small hours to rearm himself from the cuttlery draw and steal A’s property to fund his drug habit.

The law abiding person A now has a criminal record and looses his job, his house and his wife.

Well done pC, UK law and British common sense.
——–

Whilst this situation is mercifully rare, it has occurred in the past and although laughable when expressed like this, it is unfortunately now a genuine concern for the law abiding.

The fact that it is rare is because most people in this situation would actually just hand over their wallet, loose £10 in cash, cancel their cards and not bother to report it (because no-one will be caught anyway and it is not worth the effort having the conversation with the administrator on the front desk of the police station, even if you can find one that is actually open) rather than risk taking a stand, or indeed help anyone else finding themselves in this position.

It is this fear of the state by the law abiding which is causing antisocial behaviour in all its forms to spiral because quite simply, the law abiding do not feel able to take action or intervene in any way lest they end up in the cells. Untill this dire situation (or the perception of this situation) is clearly reversed, crime and general disorder will only get worse.

Repealling the fatuous Human Rights Act, a European construct with no place in UK law, would be a fantastic start.
UKIntel

Check your newspeak dictionaries, citizens: “Mercifully rare” should replace the oldspeak term “Completely made up.”

Cyril Bradley seems confused about what he thinks about Ehud Olmert. I wonder what our Israeli readers think of his inference that their former leader is not a total muthafucking badass.

Although he has not been found guilty of anything yet I think for for the good of the country he did the right thing, for me he was too wishy washy, Israel at times needs a leader who can put the hammer down.
Cyril Bradley, Detroit USA

Thanks to Shoelace and Lucy. On the untimely death of Isaac Hayes.

Isaac?
Who?
Sorry he died.
Burry him deep.
All musician need to be so done with.
Else, they erupt again to blare with their stuff to bother us all again.

Music 2 Years

I’ve been racking my brains for what this means, and can only conclude that Music 2 Years is his stage name and these are his lyrics. I imagine a balding middle-aged man with a cod Jamaican accent.

What a shame. I remember meeting him once in a burger King in Brixton about 10 years ago, he ordered a double whopper with extra fries, and a coke. Just goes to show that food will kill you, just like Elvis, except on a tread mill, and not a toilet.

Joseph Steadman, Brixton

I once met Shobna Gulati out of Dinnerladies. I mumbled something about her play being quite interesting and she said ‘thanks’. Needless to say, if she should ever die it will be down to this.

Griff is hoping to end all war with the sheer force of his pomposity.

I know that this will not be a popular view but I am having serious problems. I know that sport and politics should not mix but we cannot ignore where these games are being held.
When the national anthem is played I do not feel proud, we must never forget our involvement in Iraq. What we have done brings nothing but shame on our country.
I call on the world now to declare that they will boycott the London olympics. Gordon Brown must not go to China, shame on us all. Everything is in our name.
[griff22], Exeter, United Kingdom

By the beard of Zeus! You’re right! Oh woe! Cry treachery! I call upon mighty Thor and his fleet of Volkswagen Passats to strike down those who have brought such shame to the shores of this once great land! Rain down fire and brimstone! Stop Gordon going to China! Ask awkward questions on Newsnight!

“What impact could an EU recession have?”

Wait for the pound to be 1:1 with the euro switch to the euro.

also governments remember you cant keep going up the ladder eventually you have to come down the slide and if your too high then your going to come down fast and hurt yourself.

I still cant see why we are still on earth the EU has a viable space economy why arnt we among the stars mining the asteroid fields, strip mining mars.

move to space its the only way.
andrew giggal, chesterfield

Excellent ideas Andrew.

Here, I drew you a picture of some miners going into space to do some spacemining.

‘Lads mags’, harmless photographs of attractive women willing to pose for them and give interviews, are probably read by a maximum of a million men each week. ‘Loose Women’, a TV show that is powered by feminism’s universal hatred of males, gets over two million views daily. Yet the latter will probably be ignored - or, worse, praised - while sanctions are placed on the literary ‘filth’.

I joked about this once during open mic stand-up. How poignant my words seem now.

Political Madness Gone Correct, Brighton, United Kingdom

I looked into this and the show is indeed powered by feminism’s universal hatred of males. Interestingly, the set is also made from the skulls of hundreds of absentee fathers and the cameras are fashioned from the broken corpses of the viewers’ inconsiderate husbands.

All this can be a bit of a downer, so what I like to do is tear out a particularly juicy page from ‘Nuts’ and cut out the faces. Then I stick this to the television screen and pretend that Lynda Bellingham has her baps out.

Thanks to Sean. “How do you prepare for your greatest challenge?”

My greatest challenge was to see the BNP win a seat in the London elections.
Next step Westminster, then the world.
john Adair, England Not Britain, Virgin Islands (UK)

I’m not sure that sitting through someone else winning an election counts as a “challenge”. Unless you were really desperate for a poo or something.

I fight for a free England.

English taxes for England.
English law for England
Home rule for England

Rise England Rise, England (not UK)

Wanking to Elgar again?

“Are northern cities beyond revival?”

I am a Londoner born and bred and proud of it. However, I find comments like those proposed by the so-called “think tank” to be highly offensive. Just as Leeds and Manchester have been revived, so too, will other “northern” cities. Give it time, but stop being so patronizing.
[Socratic_Acolyte], London, United Kingdom

Perhaps you could join a voluntary organisation and spend a “gap year” helping us revive our cities? After we’ve installed indoor toilets, we’re planning on digging a new canal so that we can import fine wines from Surrey.

That Konnie Huq, what an ungrateful bitch. After all we’ve done for her - letting her stay in the country she was born in, allowing her to show her not-white face on television and letting her earn a degree from Cambridge at the Taxpayer’s expense what does she turn around and say?

What do you avoid on holiday?
English pubs or restaurants that serve British food, and rowdy British holidaymakers.

Treacherous Konnie Huq, far away from my respect

For poor Anthony Richardson, as spotted by Mike, it’s all just too much.

I’m not sure why you ask talentless bimbo’s anything about their holiday experiences.This vacuous article diplays her obvious displeasure about meeting her fellow UK passport carrying brothers and sisters whilst abroad.

If she’s so ashamed then perhaps she should relocate to a hot country in the middle east where her freedom to express her snobbish and irrelevant views would be stamped upon rather quickly. I’m thinking of somewhere like Pakistan.

Please, please select some people whose opinion on their choice of holiday is balanced and respected in future. Pretty little airheads that get jobs because of their looks are to be avoided…..please.

Anthony Richardson

I agree, Anthony. When you find out she has actual opinions, it really does kill the fantasy you’ve been wanking over ever since you saw her dunked in a bath of custard for Children in Need. At least it does if you’re the spunk-soaked slag-sock of a shitbrained salamander.

A comment from the blog of a World Service programme called “World Have Your Say”. Can anybody stand up to the Russians? This chap has an idea.

Now would be a good time for the Georgians to ally with the Chetchians or Muslims to have them come in behind them and tear them a new butt. Then the Nato troops could smuggle in a bunch of stinggers. Russia has to decide if they want to be our allies against really bad Muslim radicals like most of the people who are not Muslim are or whether they want to continue with this empire building and holding thing. Russian troops would not do well in the mountains of Georgia just like they did not do well in Afghanistan. Bomb cities, well yah anybody can do that. Go up in the rocks as an infantry supported by a traditional military. Let the games begin. It would be a really great war for both sides to fight. The true character of man can continue to unfold and all the folks in Russia big towns and cities will eventually begin to complain about why all the kids are disappearing and not coming back.

This is the story of mankind!!

troop on the Oregon coast
troop

Psssst. Don’t tell anyone else in your class, but we’re inviting you to the big, main, secure, secret headquarters tomorrow. We want you to be the Top Chief Of All The Armies.