Permanently Bewildered02 Sep 2008 09:03 am
By Nelson
British Bulldog again.
When I see the way kids are cosseted I wonder what would happen(God forbid)if there was another war, and we had to bring back conscription .How would they cope in the army? No doubt mummy would take them to camp and pick them up in the evening. It would be private Pike from dads army all over again! It is no coincidence that our army of today are largely working class lads without a single gap year between them ! We have bred a nation of softies! I hope we never have need of some real men
keith ridgers, cobham, United Kingdom
You never know when you’re going to really need a real man do you? You know, like, aching for it.
44 Responses to “Keith Has Needs”
Just imagine if there were some sort of war, possibly in the Middle East, and somehow, one of the King’s sons (surely the most cosseted and protected in all the land) were sent to fight there?
Unimaginable!
“It is no coincidence that our army of today are largely working class lads without a single gap year between them !”
I’m sorry, i’ve read this 6 times and still can’t see what having a gap year has to do with making kids tougher - most of the people I know spent their gap year doing stuff all!
Yeah, kids today don’t know anything about violence at all.
No doubt tomorrow this tool will be moaning about how the nation has gone to pot because the youth are all knifecriming each other.
Also, anyone want to bet the 1930s were full of teats like this moaning about how soft the use of today were and how they wouldn’t have lasted 5 minutes in the trenches.
‘use’? clearly I meant ‘youth’. Arse.
I think he means that gap years directly reduce manliness and that it is dreadful to do anything enjoyable instead of, erm, going into the army largely because of lack of opportunity to do anything more enjoyable.
So in other words, “opportunity” of any sort destroys the Nation’s Moral Fibre. Thank goodness the gap between rich and poor is widening or we’d run out of cannon fodder completely!
“It is no coincidence that our army of today are largely working class lads without a single gap year between them !”
WTF would someone with A-levels join the army as a squadie? I can be 99% sure that if you go to Sandhurst today you will see lots and lots of public school haircuts and posh accents. When exactly has the bulk of the army been made up of anything except working class lads?
Im not sure how you see an accent though.
When oh when will the pampered middle class realise? The purpose of an army is not to protect the realm and thus guarantee them the freedom to live their lives in peace and prosperity, but rather to be a rhetorical device to castigate them for expecting a life of peace and prosperity and thus give Keith Ridgers a little debating hardon?
Odd that. I went to a public school when I was young. We played rugby and British Bulldog. We then moved house and I went to a state school in a mining town (Not space mining
). A school full of “salt of the earth” working class kids. Games like that were band. Hummm…
I’m not actually sure what Keith is demanding here, either. I’d have expected national service to feature somewhere, but he seems content to boil in his bizarrely-homophobic class hatred and sit back waiting to say I Told You So when we’re invaded and slaughtered by, erm, someone. And while I have nothing against class hatred, I can’t help feeling that he’s not doing it properly.
Does this troll think that Dad’s Army was a documentary?
Surely an army of Pikes would ensure a cosy pre-watershed war in which no one was hurt and there was tea and cake at the vicarage afterwards? What’s wrong with that?
If you don’t want an entirely fictional scene to happen “all over again”, stop watching endless Dad’s Army repeats in your home-made bomb shelter on your allotment, dressed only in union jack underpants and a tin hat.
Ode to bulldog - (it’s a bit shit)
Oh no you didn’t
Sucka tryed Play me
But you never let me
Neva
Oh no you didn’t
Bulldog is a’ comin
You will be’ Runnin
Oh no you didn’t
Until i get National Service
I’ll never end this Mayhem
Oh no you didn’t
I m a Have your sayer
You aint got a prayer
Everyone is wrong now, except me
I don’t think there would be anything pre-watershed about keith ridgers if he were to get hold of some of these so called “real men”.
But regrettably for him he has only come across (ahem!) softies.
So are we a nation of gap year softies, or a nation of delinquent knifecriming yoofs? Will HYSers ever decide?
“It would be private Pike from dads army all over again!”
Dad’s Army being of course a factual account of homeland defense circa 1940 and certainly not the kind of thing one could make up.
“It is no coincidence that our army of today are largely working class lads without a single gap year between them !”
Also, uncoincidentally, the majority of the country are working class without a gap year between them. Probably something to do with the majority of people not having mummy or daddy’s credit card to finance their gap year and nothing, other than the drudgery of manual labour or unemployment, to take a gap from.
“We have bred a nation of softies! I hope we never have need of some real men”
Not quite true. The UK is one of the largest suppliers of militant jihadis outside of Islam. Hundreds, if not thousands of British volunteers have joined the jihad in Afghanistan, Bosnia, Chechnya, and Palestine over the years. It’s only the white christian youth that has grown up to be load of namby-pamby poofs, you know.
Ok, so I read it through again and went from amusement to rage:
What this lump of white dog shit means by ‘war’ is ‘world war’ i.e. one which doesn’t happen at least a third of the way round the globe and may possibly involve some sort of danger to Britain. He’ll happily ignore all the little skirmishes we’ve been having elsewhere, all down to youthful high spirits and what-not. This is the kind of person who thinks the Falklands War was just a big airshow put on to give the History Channel more footage of loud bangs.
CUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNTTTTTTSS!
Sorry, I had to snap at some point.
So Gordon’s emphasis on Britishness is in fact an attempt to harness all that homicidal rage for queen and country? What a splendid plan. I’m sure he can make them all feel terribly included by overuse of the word “Britain”.
Relax, I’m an anglican Arab so I average out at fairly normal.
Vicky, that is most excellent snappage.
I love the fact that this “let the kids get battered and bruised in the playground because getting hurt will teach them a valuable lesson” thread is running at the same time as the “I deserve a better A+E service when I hurt myself after drinking too much every weekend” thread:
http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?forumID=5285&edition=1&ttl=20080902101440
amazing comment from the “have you been to A+E after getting drunk?” thread:
——————
never been to A+E after getting drunk. but i bet i have bonked the wives of a few self-righteous people when they’ve been let off the leash
——————
a humdinger of a comment. i’ve got to get “bonking self-righteous people’s wives” into some conversations today
Rich, can I commision* you to re-write all of the HYS titles? I can now see what the HYS’ers are replying to! It all makes so much more sense.
*there is no garentee of any actual money, goods or sevices being provided on my part.
I hate to sound like a liberal-leftie-guardinista-pinko-commie here but my impression of the binge drinking HYS was more “Are you outraged that a small percentage of alcohol and licensing tax is spent on police and healthcare for those that contribute it in the first place?”
It seems to me the baby boomer generation think that by sitting at home whilst their house steadily funds their retirement they are entitled to decide how “the youth” spend their money.
Fucking baby boomers nance Guardian reading slags taking fucking final salary pensions whilst I work my bollocks off they cunting well garden all day whilst drinking tea want to tell me what to fucken do with my money dictating from their ivory towers with no fucking idea about how things work as long as their alright jack complaining about the ethnics bringing the house prices down in their shitty little suburban roads go round there and break his nose and slap his wife whingeing bitch etc.
“never been to A+E after getting drunk. but i bet i have bonked the wives of a few self-righteous people when they’ve been let off the leash”
That is an awesome comment! Reminds me of the old cricket sledge: “Why are you so fat?” “‘cos every time I fuck your wife she gives me a biscuit”
How the hell did it get through?
Relax, I didn’t do a gap year.
*pushes button*
*cluster bomb destroys marketplace*
I wish these cunts would make their minds up. Either they want today’s youth to bin their weapons and renounce violence, or we want them tooled up and ready for war. Reading the concentrated fuckwittery on HYS you’d think they’d be happy that Britain’s sink estates are developing a heavily-armed, invincible force of violent sociopaths and fuckloads of racial tension. The means to make war on the brown people is under our very noses.
Ho ho ho…
“cobham, United Kingdom”
This tells you everything you need to know about Keith.
Cobham is probably one of the most affluent areas of the whole country. For northern or non-Surrey dwellers, think Alderley Edge and you get a pretty good idea.
Full of footballers, private gated estates, high end motors, surgically enhanced women and some of the most cosseted, precocious, self important, arrogant and ignorant kids you will ever (not want) to meet.
The Mail could quite easily not distribute any copies outside this area and its circulation would be virtually untouched.
Oooh, it’s Tuesday. Tigers twat.
Aye fair point lassie. I cannae walk intae owa AyunE nooadays wiyoot skidding aboot lik Charlie fuckin’ Chaplin lernin’ tae roller-skate. Shite everywhere. It’s disgrace.
It’s A disgrace, n’all.
setyourfacestostunned, that reminds me of somthing that was on TV the other day about Eco towns.
Reporter “Do you have a real problem with these eco towns, or is it just a NIMBY attitude?”
Middle class twat “No no not at all. I just don’t think this is the right place”
WTF? So what you are saying is “yes yes. Im a NIMBY”. Twat.
Keith complains that kids are being cossetted and we need some more rough and ready types - but as we all know - the rough living types will get softened up by holiday camps that pass for prisons these days.
If you are born into poverty and take up a life of crime then you get a holiday in a 5 star prison and if you live a priveliged existance then its all gap years and mumsiness.
It’s a proper catch 22…
This is one of these interesting posts where “(God forbid)” clearly means “(pleaseGod pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseiREALLYwantone)”.
Steve
Like my dad basically. Harmless but a bit of a minge. My dad was a Sgt Major so you can imagine the vitriol that spews forth from him about any changes in “his” area.
A black family with really loud kids moved in next door last year. He’s keeping a diary of the “noise”, he’s already had the old bill round there 3 times. Tragic but funny.
“Like my dad basically. Harmless but a bit of a minge”
My dad tried the old send them back to where they came from argument but on pointing out that he’s Irish he tried to carry on the argument saying ‘they’ should send him back too…. Well done dad thats my holidays sorted.
If I were fierce, and bald, and short of breath,
I’d live with scarlet Majors at the Base,
And speed glum heroes up the line to death.
You’d see me with my puffy, petulant face,
Guzzling and gulping in the best hotel,
Reading the Roll of Honour. ‘Poor young chap,’
I’d say — ‘I used to know his father well;
Yes, we’ve lost heavily in this last scrap.’
And when the war is done and youth stone dead,
I’d toddle safely home and die — in bed.
Keith Ridgers wishes there was more cottaging going on in Cobham.
I wish HYSers would make their minds up - have we bred we a nation of knifecrimers or a nation of softies?
“tea and cake at the vicarage afterwards”
Tea and cake? Or death? Make you mind up!
I think Keith should look on the bright side. At least we’re not liek them frenchies who when a war is announced say “oo eet eez so far away, I cannot be bozered, lets ‘ave some more cheese and zen you can knob my wife”
not to stereotype of anything…
“It is no coincidence that our army of today are largely working class lads”
This has saved a lot of worry. The working class kids are being raised correctly and making the wise choices. Not suffering from a lack of opportunity that starts at birth continues through poor schooling and will eventually lead to a life expectancy of 20 years less than the offspring of the middle classes. phew. That one was going to keep me up at night.
That’s okay, I’m keeping some under my bed in case of emergency.
never mind british bulldog you english nonces
BRING BACK KABADDI!
KABADDI!
KABADDI!
KABADDI!