Miscellaneous Prats04 Sep 2008 11:34 am
By Nelson
Thanks to Matt for finding the impressively boring “I love my Dog Oscar”. On the subject of McCain’s running mate.
To her credit, she is very pretty.
I love my Dog Oscar, London, United Kingdom
British Bulldog?
Maybe they could try playing ‘chase the Health & Safety officer’ or ‘Kick the silly PC person’. (If thats not too un-PC)
I know I could burn up a lot of calories playing those games!
I love my Dog Oscar, London, United Kingdom
These aren’t very interesting or funny in themselves, but try reading them again and this time imagine you’re watching children’s BBC and that “I love my Dog Oscar” is a face painted on a wooden spoon.
45 Responses to “Dog Love”
“To her credit, she is very pretty.”
I despair
“(If thats not too un-PC)”
It seems that these (for want of a better word) twats*, don’t actually know what political correctness is anymore, and just use it as a term for things they don’t like.
*or maybe that is a good word?
Rhetorical question: Leaving aside for a moment the vacuous idiocy of the Palin comment, and the agonising knowledge that despite the fact that she’s a clueless pinched right-wing harpy hypocrite that hates gays and extra-marital sex, most of the male US voters will vote for her because she’s not as ugly as their fish-faced, sag-tit wives, your commentary made me laugh out loud, Nelson. Really hard. I’m a sour old cunt, to be sure, so congratulations all round.
Back to biting wit and derisive insults, quick, before we all start trying to touch each others’ fannies and cocks in an orgy of self-congratulation.
Well then, she must make a good head of state and be amply qualified to lead a country.
I mean, look at Margaret Thatcher. Right?
Because sometimes phoning through a request to your IT department just isn’t enough.
What a cock-sucking thunder-cunt.
“To her credit, she is very pretty.”
To her credit?!
Yeah good on yer Sarah well done on not looking like an elephant’s scrotum now do you fancy having a go at being Vice President? Oh don’t worry your pretty little head about what the job actually requires.
Tool! He’s probably the one d1ck who voted for Jordan when she ran for that election a while back.
And the PC comment is classic.
Can I stab him in the face, or is that too Un-PC?
I think it might be deemed “illegal” but so long as its Politically Correct I’ll do it!
To her credit, she is very pretty.
… to someone in a committed long-term relationship with his dog, Oscar. Who presumably hasn’t seen any other women. Ever.
Sarah Palin eh? She could empty my bins once a fortnight. Cor, wurgh…etc
To her debit, she is a gun-totin’ fascist who’ll happily remove all freedom or choice to suit the whims of the little Uber-baby Jesus in her head.
Boy, it’s a tough one, Oscar-Lover, Isn’t it? Maybe you should ask a parent or guardian, what they think. Or the ward nurse, if she’s not too busy.
Can someone set me straight here.
Is Sarah Palin really “very pretty”? Or does she just happen to be a woman in politics who is slightly better looking than many of her peers.
I hope Oscar mauls his face.
When everyone else is lighting fires by praying to the sky god to send lightning, a flint starts looking like pretty advanced technology.
After being seen in public for many years cooing loudly into his poodle’s ear, “I love my dog” Oscar is now referred to by the locals by the phrase he repeats constantly to his pet.
Believing this to be a compliment, he uses the name for himself on the Internet.
In light of yesterday’s Ask-A-Racist for advice. I wanna ask Ask-A-Lefty-Cynic
Someone PLEASE tell me that we haven’t got another four years of Neo-con’s Oil for Jesus, No-Fags and a helluva lotta Guns.
The Yanks can’t be that f-ing dumb three times in a row, can they?
I tried kicking a silly PC person once. The bugger arrested me.
wHAT AbouT my rites??1?!!
Yeah but in a world where you could probably see more beauty than her dead eyed visage could muster in a decade by just waiting at a bus stop for 10 minutes, or buying a cup of coffee, or changing the channel, or waiting til the newsreader comes back on, I wonder why anyone would even think she could make a spark.
To be fair the Yanks would only have to be that dumb twice in a row. Remember, Al Gore won the vote but still lost.
The only upside with that Palin woman is seeing her described as ‘young’ at 44.
Mal (aged 43 and a third)
Ive seen ‘Prison Break’ - Having a woman as Vice President cant be a good thing, surely!
“…dead eyed visage… ”
So. Sarah Palin or Myleene Klass?
Let’s face it they’d both make equally good VPs.
I sense Mr Cat is wrestling with his conscience (or the itch in his trousers) because he fancies Mrs Palin a bit? And hates himself for it what with her being a fascist neo-con and all.
Well, I think it’s quite simple. You either would or you wouldn’t and you know, deep down, what the answer is.
Me personally, definitely. With the daughter thrown in for good measure.
I sense Mr Cat is wrestling with his conscience (or the itch in his trousers) because he fancies Mrs Palin a bit? And hates himself for it what with her being a fascist neo-con and all.
Well, I think it’s quite simple. You either would or you wouldn’t and you know, deep down, what the answer is.
Me personally, definitely. With the daughter thrown in for good measure.
Naughty girls.
Yeah, but you know these Christian Evangelical types are going to have all sorts of hangs-ups about sex and won’t be much cop in bed anyway. Hell, she’s probably so uptight she wouldn’t even want her daughter joining in.
Poor Mylene - she’s just a pretender to the dead eye queen
For proper dead eyed visage you should look no further than Michelle Bass of Big Brother 5 fame (”no nekked jacuzi!”).
Her eyes are so dead that when you look hard enough into their black depths you can sort of make out the final scene of don’t look now playing on a loop, then your breath comes out in misty gasps as your lungs begin to freeze, forcing you to look away.
There are no deader eyes that I’ve ever seen (off the telly like):
http://bigbrotheruklinks.co.uk/bb5/contestants/michelle.htm
Quite the opposite. I’m all for a bit of moral wrestling when the opportunity presents itself - but Mrs Palin looks like a cross between a housewife and a librarian.
Actually scratch that… bored housewives or pencil sucking librarians have an appeal … Palin makes me think “plain”, “doggish dullard” and “Why would I waste the energy to even bother watching this when… ooh its Natasha Kaplinsky”.
What I’m trying to say is … everyone is going on about this hot new republican running mate so I turn on the TV all excited to check her out and she looks like … well … dull.
I still would.
Funnily I wouldn’t fuck The Kaplinsk with a borrowed cock. I think she looks like Elmer Fudd.
I wonder how you made the comparison between Elmer Fudd and Natasha Kaplinsky? I’m guessing a bored sick day and a certain amount of channel hopping was involved?
Needless to say - not wanting this to turn into a poll - I would on both counts, (that’s Kaplinsky and Palin, not Fudd) and I think you’re both picky buggers. A hole’s a goal.
“…uptight…”
You’d really hope she was, but with five kids….
“To her credit, she is very pretty.”
You’re too late. Brian Christly already explained the benefits of her achievement. Personally I think she looks like Sybil. Some of her views (not that they matter compared to her breast siye) are somewhat less pretty., for example her recent statement that the warcriming US military are doing “god’s work” in Iraq are somewhat less pretty. Bordering on the obscene.
But before you cry, “you wouldn’t kick her out of bed”, I admit that given the chance I would probably fuck her. But I’d insult the crap out of her straight away afterwards so that she knows I have no interest in the cesspit she calls her mind and was just using her for a posh wank. I’d also pace myself during the act to ensure that I finish as close as possible before her own orgasm, without actually triggering it. Just to add to the insult.
The only upside with that Palin woman is seeing her described as ‘young’ at 44.
Mal (aged 43 and a third)
I agree.
Freddy (aged 43 and eleven months).
‘“…uptight…”
You’d really hope she was, but with five kids….’
Yeah, but that could mean she’s only had sex five times. Plus with all these nasty rumours doing the rounds that the littlest one is in fact her oldest daughter’s kid, that might be down to four.
Even if the fifth one is a bastard it’s still likely to be all worn out. Forth one probably could have come out spinning a walking cane after craving “Brooks was here” in her.
Relax i’m from Essex
Hottest politician ever? Oona King. Wouldn’t vote for her, but would…
We asked 100 people to name the hottest politician ever. You said Oona King. Our survey said…
WAH WAAAAH!!!!
- Okay, over to the 773 family. Can you name the hottest female politician ever.
- Mara Carfagna, Les.
- Mara Carfagna you say.
- Yes, Les.
- Okay. Let’s see if she’s there. We asked 100 people to name the hottest politician ever. You said Mara Carfagna. Our survey said…
TOP ANSWER!!!
I cannot even assault people any more, it is PC shit gone global.
How about we collect assorted HYS twats and release them in a wooded area. We give the kids knives (although many may prefer to bring their own) and let them track down and kill this collection of dusty wankstains.
We could call it ‘Hunt the Cunt’
Or would that be un-peecee
I don’t give a fuck what 100 people think. My cock only listens to my opinion.
I got into a lot of trouble for playing ‘Chase the Silly Health and Safety Person’. For starters, I never had a risk assessment or method statement in place, and worst of all, I accidentally chased him into the flaming vortex pool of lava we had installed as a feature.
As for Sarah Palin, the right-wing reactionary penguin’s penispouch and one-time member of the Alaskan Liberation Front, she reminds me of an angry English teacher from my schooldays. Except with a lot more military hardware.
Interesting to hear that she used to be a member of ALF. Now she definitely ‘gets my vote’ know what i mean. Kindred spirit n’all.
The americans voted Bush in - twice. its a dead cert we’ll be seeing that smug face a lot more in future.
i would have said she looks more like a dog licking piss off a nettle than a bulldog with lipstick. perhaps a bulldog chewing a wasp?
You must know some miserable looking bulldogs.
” Yeah, but that could mean she’s only had sex five times. Plus with all these nasty rumours doing the rounds that the littlest one is in fact her oldest daughter’s kid, that might be down to four.”
Dropped.
Pie.
FACT
“Bank”
Eric Gill loved his dog.
I understand the dog used to walk with its arse very close to the wall when Eric was out and about.
is she trying to appeal to us zoophiliacal voters by calling herself a rottweiler with lipstick?
i saw a documentary once and it had an amercican youngster who got caught raping his neighbours dog.
perhaps the animal shagger vote is big in america.
I hear there’s a very large “secretly a colossal sexual pervert and desperate to outlaw everyone else’s sexual perversions” demographic, but they’ve always been Republicans anyway.