You know, I spend so much time trawling Have Your Say for the boring, stupid and ignorant that I overlook the goldmines of wit, intelligence and sophistication. Such as Alex Gache, who knows so much about everything:
Are you comparing a gun with a car??
Guns are MADE for killing,cars are made for moving about.Very different,woulden’t you say?
I never knew that! Thanks Alex Gache!
Religion is the crutch for minds that can’t walk
Religion are wings for minds that can’t fly
Alex Gache, you are so wise.
I am a dad.I’m a musician,tour and work in the studio.I also bring my children up.So???
Not only is Alex Gache a musician, he is also fluent in four languages. What a guy!
What are your favourite misheard lyrics?
Everything Mick Jagger sings!!
Come on baby,dry your eyes
But angie, angie, aint it good to be alive? (original version)Come on baby,TRY your eyes
But angie, angie, aint it good to be alive?
Heheh. Now I think about it, ‘try’ and ‘dry’ do sound rather similar. Thanks Alex Gache!
I would invite Nicolas Sarkozy and his wife Carla Bruni!
I would tantalize Nicolas with my banquet d’ hor’d'oeuvres with snails full of garlic Argentine red wine and 3 to 4 large baguettes,
That should keep him busy while I butter up my singing Carla!!
Ingenious! Naturally the only thing that could distract a Frenchman from his beautiful French wife is an amateurishly-prepared version of his own national cuisine! That would leave Carla open, and – sacrez blue! – you speak French!! She’ll be putty in your hands! Good luck Alex Gache!
74 Responses to “Alex Gache Is Really Clever”
i wouldn’t put butter up her Alex, it might curdle.
and as for this:
“Religion is the crutch for minds that can’t walk
Religion are wings for minds that can’t fly”
it doesn’t even rhyme
what an engorged bonobo mimsy
“snails full of garlic Argentine red wine and 3 to 4 large baguettes”
Where can I get a recipe for this (and some massive snails)? Sounds pukka.
How do you get the snails to eat the baguettes ?
TELL ME??!”"rdelevens!
Alex Gash more like!!
Geddit!!
“Bank”
Never has a man’s name been so descriptive of his character. Who has a heavy red wine with snails? What a gash!
Will Sarkozy only overlook Alex “baguetting” his wife if he uses Argentine red wine? I need to know for future seductions, how specific to the recipe do I need to be?
Garlic Wine? Garlic? And Wine? Garlic Wine?
Sounds fucking disgusting to me.
HYS is the crutch for self-deluded twats who nobody listens to in real life, you salamander’s snatch.
Geddit? He’s equating dim-witted people with the mentally disabled!!
I wonder if he has any other quirky gags about rape or cancer.
I bet Ms Bruni is looking forward to her evening with Gash.
He could charm the birds out of the tree that garcon.
Er, Carla Bruni is Italian.
LEARN!!!!
But that dry/try thing is his *favourite* misheard lyric? Gash indeed.
He looks after children??//??!!1!
SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN.
Relax – I’m not a pedo.
“BANK”
“He’s equating dim-witted people with the mentally disabled!!”
[img=http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/music/article4703539.ece]he’s russell brand AICMFP[/img]
“But that dry/try thing is his *favourite* misheard lyric? Gash indeed”
Agreed.
He’ll probably piss his nappy when he gets round to listening to Freddy Mercury and his “Devil’s sideboard” or Sting’s love-song to Sue Lawley
As for the guns/cars thing – you can kill someone with a car a lot easier than you can tow a caravan to Whitley Bay with a Glock 9mm, or am I missing the point?
oh for fucks fucking sake.
Alex Gache may turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to the Christian church. Every time someone is thinking about joining the League of Atheists, they could just wheel out Gashboy and everyone will come flocking back. Genius!
If Carla Bruni has had a pleasurable evening with gash I’d like to see the photos…
Question:
Answer:
Response: I find it rather odd that you have to occupy yourself so heavily to avoid getting busy with your kids. Sick pervert.
“Religion are wings for minds that can’t fly”
Apart from being grammatically retarded, is Alex suggesting we should all take copious amounts of hallucinogenic chemicals?
Dose he not know its White wine with snales, not red. Philistine and gash.
“Gash”
DISASTER!!!1 END TIMES!!!!! THE APOCALYPSE HAS COME A DAY EARLY!!!! FORGET THE LARGE HADRON COLLIDER!!!!!!! IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!11
Interestingly, according to News Sniffer, the current HYS error page is a revision of an earlier version – here’s what it originally said.
Wow, it takes a real man to stand up and admit he made such a ridiculous and hilarious mistake. I’d be mortified if someone heard me singing that. Whaddaguy!
that misheard Stones lyric from Angie is not only my favourite misheard lyric but in my top 5 favourite things of any kind ever.
i have numerous homemade T-shirts with “Come on baby, dry your eyes
But angie, angie, aint it good to be alive?” on them but the
“dry” is one of those holograms and viewed from another angle says “try”.
i also have a mural of the verse on my bedroom wall with a velcro patch in the relevant place to which i can attach a felt T or D depending on my mood.
if only john lennon had sung more ambiguously so that it sounded like “imagine there’s no heaven, it’s easy if you DRY”. that would have been perfect. but he didn’t, bastard, and look where that got him.
I have to say, since contributing to this site I really admire the HYS moderators. Spending twenty minutes on there finding this shite is draining enough, they spend their whole working day being bombarded with retarded right-wing brain-burblings.
HYS moderators, I salute you!
HYS is currently down for maintenence!
Where do the posters pour their bilious poison in its absence?
“Gash Bank”
They’ll be squawking away on one of the various “BBC run by left-wing conspiracy” sites, claiming that this maintenance work is killing their freedom of speech.
Well, where I live (suffolk) they stand in the middle of the road and yell it at passing cars while occasionaly throwing peanuts at any wimmins that get too close.
Alex Gash would love The Streets.
Butter up Carlo Bruni eh!
i tried that in Last Tango In Paris with Maria Schneider and the little bitch loved it.
Go for it Alex, how can such a cunning plan fail.
- I would invite…
– I would tantalize…
– I butter up…
– I also bring my children up. When I have world leaders ’round for tea they stay at their mother’s house. Where they live. With her and her new boyfreind who has a proper job, treats his woman with respect enough to describe social events in the first person plural, and doesn’t make a cock of himself in public by describing his pathetic dream world as if it were reality.
Does nobody else sense a wind up? Surely this torrent of idiocy by someone called Gache is just too good to be true.
Still, Carla Bruni buttered up and simultaneous back door/gash action – can’t be bad.
Alex Gache has submitted over 90 comments to HYS, each one a little glimpse into his fevered brain.
I particulike the self-regarding, pompous koan stlye pearls of wisdom, with a dollop of wry knowing humour…
example:
“What should the government do about the economy?
lets rephrase that.
What should the economy do about the government?”
sorry, I meant over 900 comments. My keyboard is full of crumbs sometimes.
Some more of his favourite misheard lyrics. I am guessing he has misheard “Can’t buy me love”.
DEBATE:
What are your favourite misheard lyrics?
SENT:
21-Aug-2008 17:08
COMMENT:
Can Bobby love?
Can Bobby love?
“I’ll buy you a diamond ring my friend if it makes you feel alright
I’ll get you anything my friend if it makes you feel alright
‘Cause I don’t care too much for money, money ,can Bobby love”
I bet he near peed his pants when he found out what the lyric really was.
And then he turns the subject onto Madeliene McCann for some unknown reason…
“DEBATE:
Is it easy to create a new identity?
SENT:
24-Jul-2008 12:02
COMMENT:
Does new technology make it easier or harder to escape mainstream life?
No,not really!Look what happened to Madeleine McCann!”
I see a little silly comment from a man,
Alex Gache, Alex Gache, you are such a big mongo -
On the internet your writing’s -
very very frightening me -
Have Your Say-o! Have Your Say-o
Have Your Say-o! Have Your Say-o
Have Your Say-o! On second thoughts don’t, No no no no no no no
“I’m just a otter’s snatch, nobody loves me”
He’s just a fantasist, wanking over Bruni -
etc.
I’ll hold his arms, you can punch the fucker.
…and this surprises you?
“Does new technology make it easier or harder to escape mainstream life?
No,not really!Look what happened to Madeleine McCann!”
What’s his point? If it’s that MMC escaped mainstream life without the use of ‘new technology’, then that’s fair enough.
I know I sometimes envy her in my humdrum existence during which I very rarely get kidnapped or forcibly knobbed by a swarthy Portugese fellow, or experience the delights of a full anal prolapse.
Aaaaaarrrggh! Too far!
I know I wouldn’t come on here if I was easily offended, and I should take a deep breath before reading a comment by someone called Admiral Spunktrousers but that was still well past where the line should be.
No? Maybe it’s just me then.
Oh dear Admiral Spunktrousers. On SYB we refrain from explicit Maddy-bumming jokes and leave them to Fucko the Clown.
I didn’t actually make the causal link between the prolapse and anal sex. She might just strain very hard whilst having a shit.
(I still do think it’s hilarious that all stories about Maddie in the popular press all allude to yet ultimately look askance at the elephant in the room (that she is dead and bummed), though.)
Anyway, if we’re turning a SYB thread about into one about MMC, does that mean we’ve been fighting the monsters for too long?
“I wonder if he has any other quirky gags about rape or cancer.”
Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me.
Bit of both, this is a rape after all.
http://www.bebo.com/PhotoAlbum.jsp?PhotoAlbumId=2848081738
that covers cancer and rape.
I was just about to point out the error in your French (sacrez blue? Mon Dieu!) when I realised. God, how embarrassing would it have been to have posted that!
i just joined bebo to have a laugh about cancer and rape but the link just takes me to a photo page with no photos
You know, the Admiral’s comments go a bit too far for my tastes, but as he says they’re just a blunt version of what the newspapers have been making a fortune out of over the past year.
Also, to get things back on track: Alex Gache is considered a fool by all who meet him.
Fucking cunt.
Guns don’t kill people, rappers do.
Youknowsit. FACT!
Rappers don’t kill people, knifecrimers, mosques and house prices do.
“Bank”
No they don’t. Tony B-liar, Gordon Clown and ZaNuLiarBore do.
LEARN.
“Bank”
Guns might be HANDY for killing and cars CONVENIENT for moving about IN but both are MADE as ACCESSORIES you “KNOB”
I’m praying for a “Black Hole Machine Switched On – Your Views?” HYS Thread.
Come on Mods… (I bet you check out SYB)… let’s stir up the little fucker’s Pub-Science glands.
1 gets you 5 that it ends up in an interminable Climate Change FACTS slinging contest and that the LHC is a bad thing and a PC nonsense for immigrants.
E= MC Hammer
OKAY WHICH ONE OF YOU PUT THIS UP ???
————–
Yes it is the credit crunch is affecting my health and everyone elses who has not got a lot of money!
The main reason for this is because we are depressed because we can’t afford to live or eat so any spare money we have we spend and drink excesses ammounts of alcohol so we will all have severely damaged livers in the future.
This country is now a joke and i wonder why my grandparents died for it because i would not, whats left to defend??? i dare u to print this bbc??
basketcase77, cardiff
—————–
CLASS!!!!
i rekon its metric basketcase77 in clever disguise
Well, if it does all go titsup at CERN, and a black hole IS created, we can all take some consolation in the fact that Joy Pattinson will be among the first to disappear over the event horizon.
Joy Pattinson would be able to spew her outraged views for all time if she were thrust into a black hole. Time dilation would mean that she would have all eternity to bitch about it.
Pub science gland well and truly milked.
“Collider Bank”
One slight problem with Joy going over the event horizon is that she’ll be frozen in time as she crosses and will continue to exist there for all eternity.
There’s only one thing to do, off her now before they actually start the machine properly…fortunately we’ve got some time before actually start banging things together rather than taking protons for a walk at half the speed of light.
#Hello, easyjet? yes a flight to Switzerland and a big gun please#
Bugger. f@#$£ng National Express Wi-Fi.
“Come on baby,TRY your eyes”
if you imagine Mick Jagger is singing to a newborn puppy then these are very moving lyrics
What is this guy going on about with his dodgy baguette specifications? Obviously you need 6 to 7 medium-sized baguettes to distract someone like Sarkozy. Some people…
Relax, I’m French.
“Epargne”
@vicky
Take it a step too far. Now take another step.
Just landed on this site by mistake.
I read a few of the comments.What a bunch of pathetic,frustrated twats.
Are these the rejected HYS,shit brain retards of the future??
To the ignorant imbecile that thinks snails and white wine go together,cultivate your life you cretin .That would be fish you retard!
Rhodri Marsden is considered an idiot by all who meet him.Rhodri??What kind of girlie stupid name is that anyway?
The”fucko Hemingway”author of (see:crap above)”Delusions of Grandeur/Alex Gache Is Really Clever” has obviously been working his little gold fish brain too hard.Well done on that one and we wish him a full recovery.
Should you suffer another mental redardation attack,just sit back and write another exciting episode.
[...] Alex Gache, Netherlands [...]
haha, alex is my ex husband, and father of my daugther.
by accident i found this.
just too funny.
you’re all right, that he is a bit annoying at times.
but knowing A. he’s laughing his head off, because you all seem to have fallen over his provocative reactions.
some of you take some things so seriously that you have forgotten to recognize a joke.
for instant, he does speak 5 languages and saying something like:”sacrez blue? Mon Dieu!” is a joke. is it really true that the british have no humor?
I wish you all some sex and laughter because you seem to have turned pretty sour.
ps. no i would not want him back.
@Steve [blockquotes]
Dose he not know its White wine with snales, not red. Philistine and gash.
“Gash”
[\blockquotes]
They’re spelt ‘snails’. Philistine. And ‘does’. Philistine^2.
Or am I missing well-hidden irony?
And yes, apart from being a pompous little prick pretending to be in the NL with an Aberdeen IP, I can’t use blockquotes.
Schapen neuker.
is your name really alex gash?
I’m calling bullshit on this one.
Firstly: Talking Shite, Pish, Bollocks, and Arse does not count as 4 separate languages.
Secondly: I seriously doubt that any woman would have been dumb enough to procreate with an absolute asshat such as Alex Gache.
Alex is a hamsters ham flaps.
Alex,
had jij deze pagina al gezien, echt helemaal debiel die lui!
Wat een frustraties, ik vraag me af of ze geen hobby’s hebben ofzo?
doei!
M.
And we have a winner!
Margreet, this IS my hobby. Kutwijf.