The upside of my general slackness is that, thanks to the efforts of my tireless donor, I’ve got a big stack of wonderful, bemusing crap from the complaints log waiting to be published. The downside of my general slackness is “everything else”.
RADIO 2 - ELAINE PAIGE
“I would like Elaine Paige to go to Disney Land Paris to introduce clips of Disney music.”
I would like her to lay me an egg.
RADIO 2 - STEVE WRIGHT
“Steve Wright said the temperature was 23 degrees Celsius. He should have said 78 degrees Fahrenheit, which I consider English.”
I was actually starting to worry you might be dead. Then I would have had to waste half an hour writing a program to emulate you.
RADIO 3 - BBC PROMS 2008
Re. Proms: “I attended the BBC Proms at The Royal Albert Hall and was incredibly annoyed there was no interval. The amount of people who needed to go to the bathroom was extraordinary, and I feel it became a health and safety issue as it was clear people had to hold their water so they didn’t miss the performance. Even a ten minute break would have sufficed as it ruined my enjoyment of the performance.”
Interesting. Whenever I’ve seen you idiots waving your plastic union jacks and grinning, I assumed you’d already shat yourselves where you were standing. Next year, why not stay at home and hum “Best of Classix” while you’re sat on the bog?
RADIO 4 - WOMAN’S HOUR
“I would like to listen to interviews with men who need to work as prostitutes. This would be an interesting programme.”
It might seem appealing right now but, trust me, you should still try and get some GCSEs just in case.
GENERAL TV
“There are far too many women on the BBC. Every time I switch on the television, I am confronted with female after female after female.”
Disgusting wimmins.
NEWSROUND
“The programme should have focused more on the books about sex for five-year-olds and the way the young girls dress in today’s society. It is shocking what society is turning into. Swear words don’t turn these children into slappers; the clothes the shops sell do.”
Paedo.
SERIOUS OCEAN
“I was concerned that a crab was boiled alive. I was disgusted to see a poor defenceless animal cooked by a group of children. It was barbaric.”
Give it a rest. It’s a crab. They’re fucking tasty. You dismal bollock.
NEWS - GENERAL
Feels the BBC are keeping quiet about the implications of letting 70 million immigrants in. “The people who are coming into this Country are seeking the benefits. The BBC should focus on this and highlight the negatives of the large amount of immigrants coming into the Country.”
It’s on next week, right after the piece about “What would happen if a squad of giant hens took over British Leyland”.
WEATHER - GENERAL
“I am registered blind and rely on accurate weather reports. I live in Stevenage, but it was not stated that it would rain today on any BBC weather forecast. So, I decided to put my washing out as it would be dry, only to return to my washing line hours later and find my clothes had been drenched. Thanks for ruining my wardrobe BBC.”
Perhaps you should register as stupid instead. To be honest, I’m a little worried that you might just have had your balaclava on back to front all these years.
108 Responses to “Delayed Complains”
Sir temperature
How I missed thee, whingey twat
Welcome back bat’s snatch
Crabs aren’t ‘poor defenseless animals’, what with the credit crunch and rising cost of everything they’re considerably richer than me, and have you seen the size of those bastard claws? They could have someone’s eye out with one of those! Cooking on TV, it’s a health and safety nightmare i tells you! They’re all probably dirty immigrunts from some weird place that I’ve never been to and don’t understand and am therefore very frightened of…
All crabs are peedos. It’s a FACT because Dr Fox said so.
The irony is, 23 degrees celsius isn’t even equal to 78 degrees fahrenheit! lolz!
[...70 million immigrants...]
Eh? What a gorilla’s gache.
skunkpussy you’re talking nonce-sense. there’s no scientific proof for that but it’s a FACT non-the-less
Reminds me of a BNP leaflet I got through the door a few years ago warning us of the dangers of European expansion. Something like 270 million “potential immigrants” were poised, ready to ENTER THE UK by lunchtime on May 1st 2003. Turns out they’d arrived at this figure by adding together all the populations of all the new countries.
My god, if the biased lying left-wing PC-brigade at the BBC were to believed anyone would think that women make up a significant proportion of the population. Send them back to their own country, I say.
I also agree that the BBC should “focus on this and highlight the negatives of the large amount of immigrants coming into the Country”. They should also have special reports on the inferiority of black people and women and the fact that muslims are bad people. I also think they should start randomly capitalising nouns on their website. You moronic koala-cunt.
PS I don’t care if you’re blind. You’re stupid.
“I am registered blind”
“I live in Stevenage”
I’m not sure which of those should be considered more unfortunate.
“decided to put my washing out as it would be dry, only to return to my washing line hours later and find my clothes had been drenched.”
Because rain doesn’t make any noise, right? And it’s just too much trouble to check once in a while.
Oh yeah, and I’m calling pisstake on the “too many women” comment.
CRAB ARE DRUG CHEAT
I FLEX HAND MANY TIME ALL DAY BUT AFTER 5 YEAR THEY STILL TINY AND NO CLAW
NO PROOF FOR DRUG BUT IS FACT
I’d be doing my fellow Radio 3 listeners a disservice if I failed to point out that the Last Night Of The Proms *did* have an interval; the complainant must have been talking about a different one.
Most of us regard the flag-waving, Jerusalem-erection-attaining Last Night crowd with the same kind of revulsion you’d get if a Gay Pride festival was suddenly invaded just at the end by a bunch of militant abseiling heterosexuals.
“men who need to work as prostitutes”
Need? Fuck me, I know there’s some weird shit out there on t3h Internets, but why the chuffing fuck do you think that anyone other than yourself wants to hear about it on Radio 4?
“And now on You and Yours, we hear from two girls who only have one cup.”
Or do you think that the BBC should be providing you with mild titillation so you can enjoy a bout of tumescence while you work.
Monkeycock.
“And now on You and Yours, we hear from two girls who only have one cup.”
You have to admit that this would be the best edition of You and Yours EVER.
What do you care, you’re blind!?
Relax, I’m a one-eyed king.
For reasons that escape me I was unfortunate enough to read a newspaper column written by* Fiona Phillips, or as I like to think of her, HYS Incarnate.
Fiona pointed out that the clothing produced by Tammy and the like must be a paedophiles dream.
This jarred somewhat with the hatchet faced bints previous paragraph, which (reasonably sensibly) suggested that bans on parents videoing school plays and the like was down to a greatly exaggerated fear of paedo wolves hiding under the bed whipped up by a hysterical media.
*OK, I say ‘written by’, but I mean ‘glanced at after some poor sub editor has written it for her’. You couldn’t employ someone to make it up!!!!!
I still don’t get the correlation between the guy being blind and needing accurate weather reports.
Anyway, how accurate does he think the weather reports are? Does he think he’s living in Back to the Future Part II?
@Fish. Ah yeah, for some reason* I assumed he/she was talking about the last night but, reading it again, there wasn’t any specific mention.
* probably because the author seems to be a twat
70 million immigrants?
Bring it on, we need these poor downtrodden bastards to do the sort of work our Burberry wearing elite will not.
Also it keeps prices down so I can afford to carry on Lording it up over all those revolting fucking Poles and Slovaks.
Relax, I’m a cunt.
WTF?
Sounds like the complainant wants all children not to wear any clothes… definitely a paedo.
We’ve been over this. Dressing young girls up as adult slappers will make them less appealing to actual paedophiles.
Although it does make the somewhat more appealing to everyone else. It’s a double edged sword, I guess.
So the rain (water that comes from the sky) has ruined their wardrobe, but the water that they washed their clothes in (which comes from a tap and which probably came from the sky) was fine?
You couldn’t make it up.
Relax, I hate blind people.
That fahrenheit bloke is surely an uber-idiot
The measurement is named after a german bloke… On top of that fahren is a german verb meaning “to travel, drive, go” and heit is a typical german femenine suffix.
So I consider it German.
I hope he misreads his thermometer this winter and catches hypothermia or something.
70 million immigrants?
I thought there were only 68 million BRITISH people in the UK. I hope to crikey they won’t be giving these beggars the vote. We’ll all be one-armed black lesbian terrorists by the time they’re done with us.
70million?
does this mean well all get one each?
bagsy a fit-lady one i can bang in all holes!
please mr clown im dying for some
“On top of that fahren is a german verb meaning ‘to travel, drive, go’ and heit is a typical german femenine suffix”
So when these forecasters give temperatures in Fahrenheit what they’re actually saying is they want to drive it hard into a German girl (probably from behind) over and over and over again, relentlessly pounding away in a faster and faster rythm until she screams in ecstacy and they empty their spunk-blobs all over her quivering, Teutonic backside…?
Whew! I’ll never be able to watch a weather forecast in the same way again!
And would that mean the pretty brunette who often does the weather on BBC News 24 would be using a strap-on…? excuse me while I nip out to get some keyboard cleaner…
Yes in that light I suggest we all make a concerted effort to stick with farenheit.
Phwoar!
Actually, the BBBC was telling the truth. It hadn’t rained at all, it was me, tipping a bucket of water over her washing line. Serves her right the old bag, forever moaning about everything.
Strap-on? Phwoar indeed!hundredandeleven
You mean fahrenheit is a woman!?!! On television!?!!
Let’s get back to good old Celsius - but it’s European! Fahrenheit! - Woman! Celsius! - Europe! I can’t cope any more!!!!!!!!!!
*sets timer on dvd*
You missed out ‘wheelchair-bound’.
Look at it this way. Some people pay extra to get channels full of females and here they are, served up on your screen at no extra cost.
If that’s not your cup of tea, flick over to that channel showing wall-to-wall Topgear and Ray Mear’s Extreme Survival. They should produce the desired effect.
I demand the BBC adopt the scale proposed by BRITISH physicist and Engineer William John MacQuorn Rankine!!!Onethousand onehundredandeleven! Celsius is Swedish11
*explodes in righteous indignation*
I propose we use the BSTU (British Standard Temperature Unit). In this system, water freezes at -25.63 degrees and boils at 844.98 degrees and inexplicably freezes again at 945.0 degrees except on a Tuesday when rule four applies. In this case the temperature is measured as the square root of the cosine of the standard BSTU value divided by 1123.8
During leap years this value must be multiplied by 0.98 to prevent the Sun from crashing into Uranus.
Download my simple guide to BSTU conversion at http://www.howthefuckdoiworkouthowthisfriggingridiculousillthoughtoutbutatleastitsnotcelsiussystem.pdf
(heh heh)
Uranus
“What would happen if a squad of giant hens took over British Leyland”.
Was that a rejected ‘Mighty Boosh’ episode idea or some similar shit?
RADIO 2 - ELAINE PAIGE
“I would like Elaine Paige to go to Disney Land Paris and remain there. She’s awful. Let the French have her.”
RADIO 2 - STEVE WRIGHT
“Steve Wright said the temperature was 23 degrees Celsius. He should have said 88 degrees Fahrenheit, which I consider much warmer.”
RADIO 3 - BBC PROMS 2008
Re. Proms: “I attended the BBC Proms at The Royal Albert Hall and was incredibly annoyed. Turns out it was on the radio! I could have listened it at home and saved money. P.S. I would like to hear more programmes about the lack of public facilities (particularly toilets) in the UK today and the health and safety issues of Englishmen sharing them with foriegners.”
RADIO 4 - WOMAN’S HOUR
“I would like to listen to interviews with men who need to work as prostitutes and the ethical and moral issues of forcing human beings into prostitution through necessity. “A form of rape”, as Anthony Beevor put in the highly-relevant “Fall of Berlin”. Do men really suffer the same as women do in such circumstances and would a law against exploiting men for sex actually make sense? For my first guest on tonight’s of the leading feminist experts on male psychology…”
GENERAL TV
“There are far too many women on the BBC. End of.”
NEWSROUND
“The programme should have focused more on the books about sex for five-year-olds, with diagrams of the way the young girls dress in today’s society. It is shocking what society is turning into. Swear words don’t turn these children into slappers; the clothes the shops sell do. Guns on the other hand are entirely benign and are only put to improper use by the holder. We should have more programmes with naked young girls and guns. ”
SERIOUS OCEAN
“I was concerned that a crab was boiled alive. I thought you were meant to saute them. Is that why mine taste funny?”
NEWS - GENERAL
“The people who are coming into this Country are seeking benefits. The BBC should focus on this. Highlight the negatives of immigrants.”
WEATHER - GENERAL
“I am registered blind and would like to see more variety on the television.”
Joe C - how dare you suggest that my *sort* are all terrorists… okay, you caught me out! How did you know?
If she/he gets Elaine Paige, can I get to see 24-hour live footage of Jim Davidson being gang-raped to death in Chessington World of Adventures by a rabid pack of rhinos painted to look like Hitler? It seems only fair.
Black lesbian… It was when you tried to drive your wheelchair into the side of Canary Wharf tower.
RC - come the revolution, you’ll be the first to be driven into Wembley Stadium and shot in the back of the head, in the name of Allah, praise his name.
Relax, I’m an able-bodied white hetero.
(Like you didn’t know, you slaaaaaag)
Wembley Stadium? Ha! If it ever gets built in Bliar’s broken Britain.
Er… What year is this?
(By the way, black lesbian, white hetero, wheelchair or not, I’ve still got the horn)
The English Not British Standard Temperature Unit (ENBSTU) is slightly better though because it’s pure uncontaminated anglo-saxon English and everyone else is too inferior to understand it. Um. And also it has strap-ons.
Yes. almost five Fahrenheit degrees warmer!
Whilst I would agree that in laboratory conditions, the ENBSTU is superior to the BSTU, in domestic situations it can become unstable and explode in the presence of oxygen free bleach and goat vomit.
And it’s originator is a total arse.
Dear BBC,
I would like to see Steve Wright and Elaine Paige doused in petrol, placed in some sort of high-fenced arena, and then the public get to bat flaming tennis balls over the fence, into the arena. I believe this would be highly entertaining, AND if the flaming balls were assigned numbers, it would be easy to draw the lottery in this fashion every week. Obviously the supply of Steve Wrights is limited (thank fuck), but luckily the supply of useless annoying celebrities isn’t. Come on BBC, it’s MY licence fee.
Dingleberry has a great idea - although in this current “Yoof” climate, I suggest the X Games version.
With bowling balls, and red diesel.
We can have the Scots dude off Gladiators refereeing!
And presented by Stuart Hall.
I am still struggling to think of a better defended British animal than the crab.
Aside from the Duchess of Cornwall, obviously.
Can we not have temperatures given in Kelvin? That was proposed by a proper British toff to reclaim the measuring of temperature from the Forruners.
Can we not have temperatures given in Kelvin? That was a scale proposed by a proper British toff to reclaim the measuring of temperature from the Forruners.
“I am still struggling to think of a better defended British animal than the crab.
Aside from the Duchess of Cornwall, obviously.”
What about the Duchess of Cornwall’s crabs?
Ah yes, Kelvin. London is a slightly brisk 288 degrees this morning but we’re hoping it will climb up to 291 this afternoon.
Liquid diesel doesn’t burn. To be properly xXxtreme you’d have to use something like nitroglycerine. That has the added benefit of being tremendously unstable, so as well as having to dodge the flaming bowling balls, the z-listers would have to do it very slowly and gently.
Only if I get to decide what the temperature’s going to be in the process.
Just to inject a bit of much needed pedantry into this debate - Kelvin is not measured in degrees (unless my time machine is playing up and it’s 1965 again).
nitroglycerine would be far to quick for the z-listers. I’d want something nice and slow and tortuous for the likes of Jade Goody….
What about a celluloid overcoat?
How about acid rather than Nitro? Either the [H+] sort or the ‘we call it aceeed’ version?
Or, more entertainingly, a combination applied internally and/or externally.
maybe he means britain has been taken over by 70million descendants of immigrants. he’d rather return Britain to its indigenous unpopulation.
I also suggest lots of funs spikes, whirling band saws, amusing rotating blades and surprise traps, like in Robot Wars….
And, as a little nod to the origin of these ideas, Craig Charles would be oh-so-eminently suitable as a ‘celebrity’ contestant. Preferably doused and full of petrol, diesel, nitroglycerine acid and aceeed and with an ostrich feather shoved up his Khyber.
“I’d want something nice and slow and tortuous for the likes of Jade Goody”
Option 2:
The z-list “celebs” are pushed naked into a maze, the walls of which are lined with razor blades so that the slightest contact will inflict a nasty cut.
They have a one minute head start before the pack of slavering, half-starved pit bulls (wrapped in light chainmail to protect them from the blades, in case you RSPCA types were worried) are also released into the maze after them.
After one minute and thirty seconds the lights go out plunging the maze into total darkness - although the viewers can still follow the fun through night-vision cameras in true “Most Haunted” style (obviously the noxious Yvette will be pushed into the maze alongside Jade Goody, Craig Charles, Elaine Paige, Steve Wright and Jordan in the pilot episode)
I’d call it “Devil Dogs Razor-Maze” and sell it to Endemol for a million-squillion pounds.
Oh Crist-On-A-Bike…
The link is for a Daily Mail article, plus comments, about the Paphlet being used in early primary school that teaches kids the words for their ‘bits’ (that’s the correct scientific term).
(In the interests of health and safety, asbestos brain-shields are advised when ready Daily Mail posts. SYB cannot be held responsible for the content of other sites.)
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1057397/Now-schools-introduce-sex-guide-year-olds.html#comments
Paphlet? - a small boob perhaps
ready? - a large boob - it should have said ‘reading’.
Dr Shade - is it too late to include Davina McCall in the pilot?
Come on —> Jeremy Kyle, surely?
1) WTF is the whole ’seems clinical’ sentence actually supposed to mean?
2) Giving them clinical names is clinical, giving them explicit names is what the playground is for you c@nt.
Surely the Schwarzenegger classic “The Running Man” has already laid down the foundation for an ultra-violent reality TV show. “Celebrity Running Man” would be awesome.
AAaaaaarghhh i read the comments on the daily mail link and my brain’s bleeding help me help me help me…..
Have any of these people actually got any idea what’s in the pamphlet or are they barking about it from a point of fuming blinkered ignorance?
Oh yeah. the answer’s in the question really. Daily mail readers….
A Mail reader writes:
I don’t think any further comment by me could possibly add to the sheer perfection of that statement.
Cervical cancer?
“Dr Shade - is it too late to include Davina McCall in the pilot?”
Well, I *really* wanted to leave her for the Christmas Special, alongside Heather Mills-McCartney, Fiona Phillips, Prince Harry, Michael Winner & Derek Acorah.
To make the game more fun the contestants would be tied together “3-legged race” style with tinsel wrapped barbed wire and the pit bulls would be replaced with steroid-enraged reindeer.
And include Lulu. For Gord’s sake include Lulu. Apart from acting like a birch tree in Adrian Mole and screeching the toe-curling Shout and The Man who Stole the World, why the fuck is she so fucking famous? Fucking LufuckingLu
The Mail reader comments are inbelievable!
“shoving this sort of thing in their face at five and six years old is just not on,
- ann ridley”
Fnarr! Fnarr!
“This sort of pamphlet learning in school will only make little, undeveloped, curious minds more curious and it is only natural they will want to go from theory to practice
- Marlene”
All the more reason to hang round the local infants playground then, if I’m going to see little Chardonnay getting spit roasted by Craig and Rupert while her best friend Tyffani tea-bags Gregory the prefect’s nutsack…
“So my six years old will be taught the sex body parts and their functions!
I have a better suggestion. How about starting their schooling with
‘THIS IS A CAT.. THIS IS A DOG’
- neha”
Good point! Only fair the little darlings learn about the delights of bestiality while we’re at it!
“Can’t we have a return to sensible education , this lot will turn Government kids into perverts given the chance?
- Graham”
Oo! Oo! If we’re turning Government kids into perverts can I have dibs on that Minister’s daughter who looks like she’d love a face full of man-custard?
“It’s sufficiently cruel to warrant the intervention of the NSPCC.
- jean baker”
Because obviously making them read a leafet telling them a willy is actually called a “penis” and a foo-foo is actually called a “vagina” is easily on a par with getting repeatedly bummed by your Uncle every time he babysits you or battered into an intensive care ward by a drunken parent on a regular basis…
Oh. I’m Sorry. I’ve just come.
What are your clothes made out of? Tissue paper? Since when did getting clothes wet ruin them, especially if you are drying them having previously got them wet in the wash.
What a gash.
Those mail comments are supoib:
There’s just one tiny little step that may be logically flawed. See if you can spot it.
Also, someone blames PC for it. Perfect.
My personal favourite:
Probably to ask what the words with more than one syllable in them mean.
“I ever see such a book being given to my youngest child.”
I think john meant:
“I ever see a book being given to my youngest child.”
When he/she says “ruined my wardrobe”, maybe they mean the ACTUAL wardrobe. In other words:
“Dear BBC, I am a weird blind person. When the weather is clement I haul all my wooden furniture into my garden so I can make detailed notes on how it responds to chaffinch-perching and the like.
Obviously my brain is made of semen infused Edam, but you never said it would rain. Now my varnish is tarnished and my carer won’t let me pull on her tits anymore. I opened a facebook account but no one will be my friend because my hair looks like shit-flavoured candyfloss on a transparent bowling ball.
Why won’t people come to my parties? Is it because all the furniture is in the garden and I sing along to Electric Light Orchestra in a screeching tenor? I am brainwronged.”
But probably not…
Dr. Shade - Fearne Cotton MUST be included in the Devil Dogs Razor-Maze’s line-up. It is your duty to make this happen!
“This is more of the same secular so-called “progressive” claptrap we have endured ever since the “liberated” 60s. Well, I for one have had a bellyful - I will be in the headteacher’s office immediately if I ever see such a book being given to my youngest child.”
those liberated 60s led to him having a bellyful. of manfat presumably. no wonder he’s not wanting his kids to go the same way.
none of my dolls even had genitals, let alone names for them (except the one which had a penis, used to dress him up as a girl)
never did me any harm
- Richard! You’re not allowed to say ‘Penis’ in this house! You know that! You have to say ‘Little Fireman’.
- But mum, my science teacher said it’s called my Penis.
- ‘Little Fireman’, Young man, or you’ll be going to bed early!
- Aww mum!
- Don’t push me, Richard!
- Ok… Mum, but listen… I’ve put my *Little Fireman* in Tracey William’s *Front Bottom* and I think I finished. Does that mean she’s pregnant? I’m really worried Mum.
- That’s better Richard. Nice clean words. There’s no need for filthy words Dear, is there? Now go and tidy your room, there’s a good boy. Lah la lah la
From Wikipedia:
“Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit (24 May 1686 – 16 September 1736) was a German physicist and engineer who worked most of his life in the Dutch Republic.”
Doesn’t get much more English than that, does it?
Tosser.
“I am registered blind and rely on accurate weather reports. I live in Stevenage, but it was not stated that it would rain today on any BBC weather forecast. So, I decided to put my washing out as it would be dry, only to return to my washing line hours later and find my clothes had been drenched. Thanks for ruining my wardrobe BBC.”
Your welcome. Bitch.
When I was about 7, a teacher overheard me telling a friend that the proper name for her girl-bits was ‘vagina’. The (female) teacher went mental and called my mum into school to discuss my apparently ‘disturbing’ use of foul and sexual language.
After about 10 mins of trying to get the fucktarded, dried-up old witch to understand that the correct terms for genitalia are the opposite of foul or sexual (anyone turned on by someone saying ‘I’m going to insert my penis into your vagina (or anus, if that’s your bag) now’? Thought not), my mum - who is really posh and refined - lost her temper and yelled, ‘What do want her to call it - a CUNT?’ and stormed out.
My dear mother was clearly deluded in her irrational belief it was a good thing to that take all the shame, confusion, intrigue and smut out of the issues of foofoos and dinkies and what they can do together, in order to allow her children to grow up to be completely at ease with their bodies and without any sexual dysfunction. What could be more un-Christian and more un-English than that?! Heaven forfend!
Oy, Rhinestone, I’m a black lesbian terrorist loony lefty immygrunt in a wheelchair, trying to destroy the very structure of our society - what do I know about football stadiums*? The last time I ever watched any sport on telly, Daley Thompson was taking part in the Olympics. God, I’m old. Do they still do those Shackleton High-backed Chairs? I could go a bundle on one of those right now. And a tartan knee blanket.
PS Eww! Put it away, dearie.
*I know it’s stadia, but I didn’t want to look like a smart-arse. So I’m doing that here, instead.
apparently edwina curry used to go all gooey when john m would whisper those kinds of sweet nothings in her ear
Stephen Fry says it’s “stadiums” apparently. Sorry for the dull trivia, I’m bored waiting for my offensive comment on the Mail foofoo page
all the girls standing in a line for the bathroom
Surely if you’re at the point of penis-vagina/anus insertion, you’re probably fairly turned on already. Or you’re being gently talked through a rape, in which case being turned on or not is fairly academic.
Oh shurrup! Every time you mock my words a tiny white Ingerlish child dies. That’s what you want, is it? IS IT? Monsters.
Clearly it’s a risable attempt to deflect attention from the real issue here - that of schools warping the fragile innocence of our beloved kinderen, sorry, children, by teaching them the correct medical terms for their private areas. I’m onto your commie paedo plot, mark my words!
(I phrased it badly, I ‘pologise. I was overly affected by the ‘British Porn’ scene in Family Guy the other night)
I say potatoes, he says Solanum Tuberosum.
Do I have to started saying crocuses instead of crocii now, as well? Oh, the humanity!
I mean potato, singular, of course.
oops
Another bit of Daily Mail logic. I love the fact that:
a) they think there’s more than one world.
b) they assume, despite all evidence to the contrary, that they’re in the one that isn’t made up.
But, paradoxically, that despite “real” Britain being overrun with darkies, that no darkies exist in the real world.
i can’t believe there’s that many posts on that foo-foo thread and not one of the twats are complaining that the cover of the pamphlet is clearly all about zanulabore forcing miscegenation on our 6 year olds.
Actually he has a point. Start with the Beaker people, work up through the Celts, Saxons and Normans and there are nearly 70 million immigrants in this country. As we’ve done rather well on the diet I guess the message he wants to BBC to promote is that immigration is OK, on the whole?
The only problem with the Beaker people is they refuse to learn the language. They’re all “mi mi mi mi mi mi mi!”
good to see everyone ignored teh proms comment as there was nothing stupid about it at all, except unnecessary invokation of health and safety to back up a valid point.
and nelson, he didn’t say he went to the *last night* of the proms, so it was probably good music and audience behaving like perfectly accpetable untwats.
Ar, someone pointed out the “last night” thing (see above).
I wish someone had taught me the correct names for body parts when I was a 6 year old. It might have saved me from years of ridicule whenever I mentioned my ‘fairy flat cake’ - thanks mother for teaching me that one.