Thanks to Izzy. Gordon Brown’s speech. Your views?
to be honest i dont care anymore, no matter how much we moan how much this country actually hates labout we will never be able to push them out, they will decide when the election is and nit us, so i just laught now, bleed me dry and penalise me for not being a muslim for not being gay and for not being a pregnant junckie because lets face it these groups get everything from this lot, i just laught as karma is a wonderful thing
[acrobatickenny1], scotland
I’ve said this a thousand times, but all you need to do is put some fucking effort in. Stop bleating about being a poor, neglected, non-Muslim, straight male. Convert to Islam or suck another man’s cock and you too can claim fifty grand a year and a free X-box.
76 Responses to “Laughting At Kenny”
If it was karma, surely it would be buddhists getting all the sweet government payouts, not muslims?
good on you. as a white straight male i too feel marginalised in my own country for some random reason that i just made up.
i’ll be going to nazi summercamp next year.
read this if you dare gordon clown!
One day, Kenny will find himself high on crack and pregnant with another man’s child. Karma is indeed a wonderful thing.
“penalise me for not being a muslim for not being gay”
acrobatickenny1… sounds abit gay to me
to be fair, even i wanted to punch Gordon Clown in the face yesterday.
‘Minimum wage is great because Mr Badjob can now buy Johnny christmas presents’
‘NHS is great because Mrs Eatstoomuch now has a new heart and can see her daughter walk up the aisle’
FUCK OFF WITH YOUR HEART-WARMING TALES YOU CYNICAL TWAT
that said, i want to punch acrobatkenny more, the dehydrated whale’s snatch
I heard that they plan to level 90% of Britain’s churches to clear space for multistorey car parks for nearby super-Mosques. And that a new initiative will see all pregnant, lesbian junkies given new penthouse apartments on Sandbanks.
If things get any worse I may be forced to threaten to consider moving to Spain!
Yeah and what’s up with this “free treatment for cancer sufferers” bollocks? What’s the point of that???!!? You might as well give free burgers to anorexics or free bibles and condoms to gay pregnant muslim junkies FFS!!!!11!
They should be giving that free treatment to those who’ll be around enough to make bloody good use of it – like white, Anglo-Saxon HYSers who keep getting vacuum cleaner utensils and gerbils stuck up their nether parts for instance!!11!!!
Gordon Brown??? Jordan’s Drowned more like!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!%
acrobatickenny1? Does that mean there are also acrobatickenny2..n’s ? Tell me/us !!!111??>>\”;]]]
Gordon Clown owes me a new TV to make up for the one I KICKED IN THE FUCK when I said that.
Don’t worry – I’ll get myself signed off by the doc (TV-kicking foot injury) and claim it on the social. Thanks Nu-Labore!
when I said that = when HE said that
Look, I never listed at school. That makes me perfect HYS fodder.
listed = listened.
I’m having a nightmare (brought on by GORDON CLOWN). I’ll go and have a lie down now and dream of Ruth Kelly.
Ruth Kelly, R. Kelly, you = peedo, obv. Your free Xbox is in the post!
Is Junckie the kenster’s pet name for his favourite WWII plane?
And all this time I’ve been sucking other men’s cocks for free?! Well sheee-it.
“Yeah and what’s up with this “free treatment for cancer sufferers” bollocks? What’s the point of that???!!? You might as well give free burgers to anorexics or free bibles and condoms to gay pregnant muslim junkies FFS!!!!11!”
Most people have cancer because they: smoke (lung, mouth, throat), eat rubbish (bowel), have unprotected sex (cervical), drink too much (liver), take the pill/don’t take the pill/have children/have abortions/have HRT/don’t have HRT/don’t breastfeed/are fat (breast), or are always yammering on their fucking mobile phones (brane). Why should they get free prescriptions when legitimate mentalists and heroin addicts like me have to pay for our drugs!?
Oh my god! I want to kill Kenny.
Hang on, acrobatickenny1 is from Scotland? It’s not like the Scots get loads more or our tax money to spend. Bunch of ungrateful tax-hoovers.
Yet another one with t-shirt potential.
YOU BASTARD!!!
On second thoughts, go ahead. You’ll be doing everyone a favour.
Rhetorical question: I hate getting nitted.
@ natty bumppo
Well I heard that most common way for people to catch cancer was off talking to immigrants and paedophiles or having them living in the same street as you, and the second most common way was by voting Labour, which also gives you head lice.
Someone on HYS said so, so it MUST be true!!!
“Convert to Islam or suck another man’s cock and you too can claim fifty grand a year and a free X-box.
Yet another one with t-shirt potential”
Not snappy enough – how about:
“I sucked cock for Allah & an X-Box!”
Oh my fucking christ, I cocked the blockquote up. I am ashamed. This never normally happens. I’ve just been really stressed at work, and I’m tired, and can we try again in half hour? I’m so sorry, please don’t take it personally, no no no, it’s not you it’s me. I think I just need some time alone.
As punishment, I will wear this to my next work meeting.
Or maybe one of these.
Hang on, I’m a disabled lesbian. Where’s my bloody XBox? I need something to bloody do while I’m sat at home all day scrounging.
If I convert to Islam can I get a Wii instead?
test
I would say lets all get t-shirts…
but how to reduce the fuckwittery of HYS to a few statements??? We’d need a warehouse to house them all just because of the sheer quantity of retarded comments.
Oh well, choice is good etc etc
A T shirt with Elie Ngandu’s entire dogs = woman = man = hell on earth = wake up people rant on would be my choice
One for the gym…
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i282/rrrob9/normal.jpg
@FARENHEIT 773 – I just got a filthy look from my boss cos of your fuckin’ hysterical T-shirt making me lose it. You Bastard!
At work – no photoshop
Imagine a crappy £2.50 white saying:
HYS – Helping Stupid People Believe They Matter – since 1998
WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!
A la ‘Frankie Goes To Hollywood’ “Relax” T-shirt thing that just says
FACT!
in massive letters
What about t-shirts a la “Frankie Goes To Hollywood” that say:
“Frankie Says Relax, I’m a ….”
Or I BET THIS WONT GET PUBLISHED!
Look out, Fahrenheit! Those immigrants are stealing your shirts!
I should stop doing this now and get on with some proper work before I get fired
Not strictly HYS but how about “Millions of my potential children died on your daughter’s veil last night” ? Well it makes me laugh..
Nah, who am I kidding? I’m self employed. I can goof around all day long if I want.
I take it acrobatickenny1 has mislaid the full stop key on his keyboard ???
And kenny, do gay Muslims get double handouts? Just as well they’re quite rare!!
Gay muslims grab you in a dark alley and do you up the wrong ‘un, but they are thinking of Allah when they are doing it.
1000% UNDISPUTED FACT!!!?!
All the exaggeration about what benefits people like me are getting is really pissing me off. X-box? You must be fucking joking – I only got a Nintendo DS Lite AND it was in that shit blue colour when I really wanted pink. Cunts.
Plus ‘Brain Training’ doesn’t recognise my voice cos my accent’s too English. Perhaps if I spoke Muslimstani or summat forrin THEN I could play the bastard properly. The world’s changing too fast and decent, salt-of-the-earth black lesbians in wheelchairs like me are getting left behind.
My brain hurts.
The ‘Col John Matrix’ is now available in S, M, L, XL, XXL and ZNLB. Colours in stock: Arab Tan, Gordon Brown and Pure Clean Proud Noble Indigenous White.
This is me nodding and clapping in appreciation of 773’s new winter collection, but with a wry smile that says, ‘there’s a guy who needs to start living in the ‘real’ world.’
(that’s the one where ordinary decent people live who don’t spend all their time and MY taxes frigging about on the net. Fact!)
nonsense, he’s a veritable inspiration: http://i539.photobucket.com/albums/ff356/voodoopoppetje/freexbox.jpg
and so are the wise words posted on HYS:
http://i539.photobucket.com/albums/ff356/voodoopoppetje/karmapink.jpg
Perhaps we’ve got this person all wrong….
Perhaps he’s saying that after an eternity of subjugation under a white, heterosexual, christian society, Muslims, gay people and pregnant junkies are finally reaping the rewards of their former miseries by experiencing some positive karma… this could be a glowing endorsement of former wrongs coming right.
And thanks for the Eli shirt.
Whatever happened to Fucko The Clown?
there’s a guy who needs to start living in the ‘real’ world
The delicious fact is that I’m an 18 year old Kurdish single mother who got knocked up by a Turk round the back of the Co-op while off my face on kebabs. It’s not just your tax that funds my multi-million pound lifestyle of Photoshop, daytime TV and leisurewear, the local council also set up a direct debit from your savings straight into one of my offshore accounts. Ker-ching!
“The ‘Col John Matrix’ is now available in S, M, L, XL, XXL and ZNLB. Colours in stock: Arab Tan, Gordon Brown and Pure Clean Proud Noble Indigenous White.”
I hope I get royalties on every t-shirt sold, though by the time Gordon Clown has taken his share and stealthtaxed me to death I’ll have nothing left. Bleed me dry for being a white heterosexual single young male! GO ON! TELL ME!
I love delicious facts. They’re so much more palatable than the bitter truth.
Yes this is what happens when no new threads arrive.
“To be honest i dont care anymore. And just to show you how honest and uncaring I am I will use this post to tell you all about those things I don’t care about anymore.”
I’m in retirement, all these bloody immigrunts came over and stole all the good clown work.
I’m going to go shave my nuts as i heard there are specialist websites interested in clown sex.
@ MR Foo, Gay muslims can’t suck cock, as pork sword isn’t halal. doesn’t stop them taking it up the wrongun though, and i’ve heard its not really gay as long as Allah isn’t looking
Why wouldn’t Allah be looking? He loves the bum sex
According to a particular Iranian ayatollah expert on such matters, the only time it’s not really gay is if one of the blokes involved in the sex act chops his dick off, grows tits and swallows hormone tablets.
lesbian clown sex
yay!1!
Looks like Salman Rushdie has discovered spEak You’re bRanes.
Those lesbian clowns appear to have had their everythings amputated.
“I’m in retirement, all these bloody immigrunts came over and stole all the good clown work.”
Would that be the Brown Clown? I didn’t realise he was an immigrant. That must be why he gets all your taxes! Er… FACT! Or something.
possible solution to the ‘not really gay’ problem?
Can’t do the photobucket thing so I’ll put my slogan here:
“I converted to Islam and all I got was this lousy t-shirt”.
can i post now? i couldn’t earlier
http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d59/andysith/hys1.jpg
http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d59/andysith/hys2.jpg
i made something similar to that
http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d59/andysith/hys1.jpg
re: lesbian clown sex – to quote batchelor party, i don’t normally like my filth that clean
yay it works now. can you not put 2 links in the same post?
http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d59/andysith/hys2.jpg
Mr Cat I’m with you, I want an Elie t-shirt to wear momentarily at my next SYB orgy before my E cups are freed to join in the fun. Farenheit – can I put in an order? Maybe come to some arrangement over payment?
I’m afraid the last party/orgy was missing Petpete and my lovely scruffy, puppy-faced Desperate Dan. Even my favourite strict nurse deserted me, but Fucko kept me entertained with his newly shaven balls…
Listen, I didn’t completely redesign the transatlantic telegraph cable for you people to come along and clog it up with weak fanfic. I want Hermione in a three-cock special including Hagrid, or nothing.
Hi Charlie, sorry to have missed it, specially now I hear there was smooth-bollocked clowning to go with the haute cuisine and quality wine.
I was intending to come, but bumped into my old friend Max on the way there and ended up on a wild night elsewhere. Ah well, give us a shout if you’re planning another.
Cheers,
Millie
I was too busy getting fucked by Gordoom McBrown!!1! He made me wear a little curly tail; shoved my nose in a trough of money and then took me roughly from behind while screaming, “You’re my little piggie now”.
It was not nice.
Dan
I don’t know. Doesn’t sound too bad.
Did you have to wear stockings?
I’d like one in extra medium please.
…. and have you thought about doing trousers?
Gee, ain’t you guys having fun? All I get in the way of sex is wanking while posting to HYS about bringing back the birch for teenage thugs.
Oh, sorry, I’ve just cum again.
Earlier there was a mention of an orgy and how my presence was missed.
Unfortunately I couldn’t turn up to grind your holes with my meat wicket as I was at home (in the lab) devising a way to make Wax Jackets smell more. If you’re interested in the results, my final conclusion was: No, Wax Jackets cannot smell more than they already do.
Joy Pattinson makes them smell by rubbing her tits on them.
Next time there is an orgy I WILL be there…
A shorn scrotum is really quite exhilarating, I suggest you try it (if you have balls that is, shaven flaps are also a delight for our testicularly challenged posters)
but only use a saftey razor, nicking ones balls (or flaps I imagine) is the height of excrutiating pain, unless you are into that sort of thing
@setyourfacestostunned
To be honest I’m still too traumatised to talk about most of it. I went to Number Ten to hand in a petition for the protection of certain threatened species of woodland flowers. I was shown into the cabinet room, and after the door had shut, someone said, “Right! Grab his arms!” and it all became very aggressive.
I remember being held down on the Cabinet Table and Ed Milliband stroking his erection against my face and mockingly saying he was ‘going to plant his rare bulb in my ripe earth and pump me with his fertilizer’
I think I blacked out after that.
i bet it wasn’t ed miliband, i bet it was hazel blears
i think i’m going to bring up my lunch.
- Hi, yes, Customer Services please.
…
- Sure, I’ll hold.
…
…
- Oh, hi, I placed an order last week for Biting Satire, with the Crushingly Witty Insults option, and you’ve sent me Nauseating FanFiction instead.
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- No no, I ordered Biting Satire.
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- Last week.
…
- Yeah, the order number’s 45606SYB.
…
- No, metric.
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- Metric. M E T R I C.
…
- M for Muslim
…
- Ok, so can I discard the FanFic, or do you need me to send it back?
…
- Sure, yeah.
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- No problem.
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- No, that’s all. Thanks.
I’ve sucked plenty of cock and I had to buy my own Playstation. Not even an Xbox. Do you think the social would help me to complete a retrospective claim over the phone?
I’d suck off Ed Miliband, too.
Is it called “slash fiction” because it makes you want to “slash” your wrists, or (as I imagine) because it makes you want to SLASH EVERYONE’S FUCKING FACE OFF FOR PUTTING THEIR PATHETIC JOY-ON-MILIBAND WANK FANTASIES all over what is normally quite a funny blog? As I said, I think it’s the latter, but I’m not really sure.
Also nobody’s said “bank” for a while.