Permanently Bewildered and Werthers Original Imperialists26 Sep 2008 01:38 pm
By Nelson

Should ecstacy be downgraded to class B?

Dear Sirs:

I do not think that ecstasy should be lowered to a class “B” drug. There have been deaths in the past and will occur again in the future. Parents have been in the media advising, tearfully, against the use of the drug, only after having lost a loved one. In my opinion any form of mind bending drugs are very dangerous to the human body. I believe that drugs for the use in social and pleasure are a sure sign of a breakdown in Society!

Yours faithfully,

Peter Brake
Peter Brake, Christchurch/Dorset

Don’t worry Peter, pills ain’t what they used to be and nobody uses them for pleasure any more. The best you can hope for is a hot flush and a slight headache. It’d be right up your street actually. You could neck a couple every morning instead of putting on those horsehair knickers.

87 Responses to “Mind Bending Drugs”

  1. on 26 Sep 2008 at 1:43 pm Erised

    Ugh, tearful advice is the worst kind.

  2. on 26 Sep 2008 at 1:44 pm Ire

    Oh shit they advised tearfully? See I was going to recommend a rational debate looking at potential harmful effects of ecstasy and the criteria for different drug classifications, but there’s no arguing with those tears.

  3. on 26 Sep 2008 at 1:47 pm Sexcrime Rhino

    Dear Sirs,

    I send Grave Letters such as this to the Telegraph every week. As of, yet they have not seen fit to publish me. Methinks HYS will serve as a most edifying substitute!

    Yours faithfully,

    Sexcrime Rhino (Capt. Rtd)

  4. on 26 Sep 2008 at 1:49 pm Petpete

    I’ve had some of the best times of my life with a baggy of MDMA and my collection of tear-stained pen-pal correspondance from Peter Brake pleading with me to see the error of my ways.

  5. on 26 Sep 2008 at 1:51 pm Dr Shade

    “There have been deaths in the past and will occur again in the future. Parents have been in the media advising, tearfully, against the use of the drug, only after having lost a loved one”

    I’ve also seen whinging parents blubbering on telly about their kids being knocked over or killed in car crashed so I think we should ban those as well!!!

    Oh, and didn’t that McCann slapper blub in front of the cameras when her kid got snatched on holiday? Better ban holidays in Portugal as well to be on the safe side…

    Actualy, in the interests of media balance and redressing any bias in the reporting I think every time the BBC shows one of these “crying parent” interviews when someone dies of ecstacy they should immediately cut to someone who’s actually ripped off their tits on the stuff screaming “WA-HEY! E’s are fucking MENTAL mate!!!”

  6. on 26 Sep 2008 at 1:51 pm Dingleberry Bush

    “I believe that drugs for the use in social and pleasure are a sure sign of a breakdown in Society!

    Yours faithfully,

    Peter Brake”

    Have you tried push-starting it in second gear?

  7. on 26 Sep 2008 at 1:54 pm tunbridge wails

    I can just picture Peter finishing off his beautifully crafted letter on the computer and then sitting back and in a self-satisfying way getting wasted on 2 bottles of Claret.

  8. on 26 Sep 2008 at 1:55 pm alt-f4

    “In my opinion any form of mind bending drugs are very dangerous to the human body.”

    You’re thinking of those body-bending drugs. They suck.

    “I believe that drugs for the use in social and pleasure are a sure sign of a breakdown in Society!”

    I believe that starting imperial foriegn wars for profit and trying to justify them by demonising an entire section of the public is even more a sign of a breakdown in society. But you probably think that’s a good thing down you? You reactionary ignorant right-wing cunt.

    Near here’s a thing. Nobody gives a flying fuck what you or I believe in and this weekend I will do exactly the same drugs I did last weekend, and have been doing every weekend for the last twenty-five years (during which I’ve gained an advanced Oxford degree, and developed a well paid career having worked now in half a dozen countries on three continents).

    What have you got from your ignorance and self-imposed prohibition (one should rightly say inhibition) apart from idiotic opinions that make no sense and stupid fucking beliefs that some other cunt has rammed into you for their own agenda?

  9. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:00 pm Mal

    Now, the challenge is to figure out if this guy is all fucked up by drugs or whether it’s just the standard HYS level of non-chemically enhanced fucktardery.

    Everyone has brain and decide if people want to take drugs smoke weed.. let them do what they think is good…
    If the drugs whoud be legal, then stuff would be first class, now we dont now what we take

    Tomas, leicester

  10. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:01 pm dirigible

    If The Shamen couldn’t stop people taking E, tearful parents certainly won’t be able to.

  11. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:01 pm Alex

    In my opinion any form of mind bending drugs are very dangerous to the human body.

    You should see what body-bending drugs do to the human mind. Now that was a weekend!

  12. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:01 pm Dr Shade

    “Dear Sirs”

    How does he know there aren’t any wimmin HYS moderators? That’s sexist that is. He’s just being a misogynistic badger’s tadger using a greeting like that. I bet he thinks wimmin-type females should be seen – preferably in the nuddy – and not heard. Probably thinks all girly-type wimminy persons with big, firm titties should stay at home and do the cooking and cleaning and cock-licking on demand and not be out there carving a worthwhile career in the field of technological customer-interactive media supervision while simultaneously enjoying a fulfilling physical and emotional relationship with a the partner (or even partners – fnarr!) of their choice. I’ll bet that’s what he’s really saying in that post. I’ll bet it is.

    Or I might be reading too much into the subtext…

  13. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:03 pm Misanthropes for Jesus

    Christchurch in Dorset has the highest per capita proportion of OAPs in the UK. Not for nothing is it known as the paragon of progressive thinking.

  14. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:13 pm setyourfacestostunned

    I bet Peter’s daughter is a fag hag coke fiend and he just doesn’t want to see the same happen to any other impresionable young ladies.

  15. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:13 pm setyourfacestostunned

    impresionable=impressionable

  16. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:13 pm Far-Q

    [please insert biting satire here I'm too wasted and am busy throwing shapes in the house of dance]

    Arrgghh…ah…urgh……the pills…

    *thump*

  17. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:14 pm Call of Davrodu

    He’s got the comforting hand of god and state patting him on the head for being a good little ant. That’s what. Can’t you see that your sociality and pleasure are getting in the way of the hive-mind? Why aren’t you using your spare time for more work? Couldn’t you be more involved in persecuting outsiders?

    For Gods sake. Think of the larvae.

    Relax! I’m a termite.

  18. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:18 pm Rod Wrongnob

    I think Peter Brake is a good bloke. And so is my wife.

  19. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:18 pm outragedofbelmarsh

    Shouldn’t there be a Col(Rtd.) at the end of Mr Brake’s posting?

  20. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:19 pm outragedofbelmarsh

    Shouldn’t there be a Col.(Rtd) at the end of Mr Brake’s posting?

  21. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:20 pm Dr Shade

    I wonder if Peter Brake is any relation to Patricia Brake who played Ronnie Barker’s daughter Ingrid in “Porridge”?

    She was a bit of all right she was in a 70′s style chavvy kind of way.

    Well, *I* would’ve given her one. I’d have given her several in fact (consecutively, not simultaneously, obviously)

    But then as I was only 13 at the time it would’ve made her a disgusting pervy paedo, which sort of puts me off her a bit now I think about it.

    But I still would though.

    Oh. And don’t do drugs coz they might fuck you up and Peter Brake will come round and kick your Dad’s head in.

  22. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:20 pm Far-Q

    Parents have been in the media advising, tearfully, against the use of the drug, only after having lost a loved one.

    Doing it before the loss of a loved one would be a bit weird:

    *sob*, *sob*, please don’t take this evil drug. It hasn’t taken my only child away from me. Don’t let that not happen to you, *sob*

  23. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:31 pm alt-f4

    “Parents have been in the media advising, tearfully, against the use of the drug, only after having lost a loved one.”

    He’s probably thinking of that ex-copper fucknut who wanted to be the UK’s first drug czar. He was constantly bitching about how his own daughter had died from taking E despite the fact that the coroner established the cause of death to be toxic poisoning from drinking too much water.

    Obviously, if he’d gone around bawling calling for a ban on water he’d have been laughed off-stage, regardless of any sympathy his emotional blackmailing might have raised.

  24. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:31 pm sm

    “Doing it before the loss of a loved one would be a bit weird”

    True but that seems to be the HYS response to Muslims and paedos: “lock them up/burn them just to sate my ill-founded prejudice”

    Although presumably not including words like sate and prejudice….

  25. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:31 pm John Rennon

    I bet he didn’t feel the same way when he was designing the cover for Sergeant Pepper’s Ronery Hearts Crub Band.

  26. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:46 pm sm

    Anyone else notice the address being written as:

    “Christchurch/Dorset”

    Which is it then? is it a new HYS tic?

  27. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:50 pm fucko the clown

    Definition – Brake: Retard something

    I think its a well placed family name for old pete, I think secretly Gary glitter gave him an E in the 70s when peter was only 65 yrs old and did him up the wrongun. Old pete never quite recovered.

    right i’m going back to shaving my balls

  28. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:53 pm Kelvin

    Dear Sirs:

    I do not think that my heart pills should be lowered into my mouth any more. There has been a lack of my death in the past and these pills will prevent it occuring again in the future. My offspring have been on the phone advising, tearfully, against my continued use of their inheritance, only after having lost a fortune on the horses. In my opinion any form of heart-prolonging drugs are dangerously beneficial to the human body. I believe that the use of drugs to keep irrelevant old bastards like me alive is a sure sign of torpidity and backwardsness in Society!

    Yours faithfully,

    Peter Brake
    Peter Brake, Christchurch/Dorset

  29. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:55 pm Mal

    I used to think that drugs and kinky sex was cool until I woke up after a coke-fuelled S&M orgy next to Frank Bough in a gimp mask.

  30. on 26 Sep 2008 at 2:59 pm Mal

    I think secretly Gary glitter gave him an E in the 70s when peter was only 65 yrs old and did him up the wrongun.

    Blimey, he got Gary Glitter up the Gary Glitter!

  31. on 26 Sep 2008 at 3:09 pm DannyBoyB

    @ John Rennon – you’ve just given me a “drink pouring from nose” moment.

    Thanks.

  32. on 26 Sep 2008 at 3:09 pm arsebanana

    advising, tearfully, against the use of the drug, only after having lost a loved one

    as in, don’t do drugs – I did a load this morning and now I can’t remember where I put my kids.

  33. on 26 Sep 2008 at 3:14 pm Davis van Pelt IV

    Meh.

    Not up to your usual standards.

    A mild broadside against downgrading E?

    Not really worth bothering with. Quiet day, was it?

  34. on 26 Sep 2008 at 3:16 pm Mr Cat

    I like lots of the drug HYSes… Like this one

    So what if ecstasy is apparently less harmful than cocaine or heroin. Why is that a reason to reclassify it?

    [BROWNED_OFF], London, United Kingdom

    Brilliant!

  35. on 26 Sep 2008 at 3:23 pm Scaryduck

    Anyone else notice the address being written as:

    “Christchurch/Dorset”

    Which is it then? is it a new HYS tic?

    ?

    It’s a local thing. We’re having Christchurch flung out of the county for being a bunch of horses’ fannies.

  36. on 26 Sep 2008 at 3:25 pm chelsea

    Should ecstacy be downgraded to class B?

    too bloody rite it shud just cos class a are swots dus’t mean they shud get all the drugs.

    chelsea, class b

  37. on 26 Sep 2008 at 3:27 pm Far-Q

    “I believe that drugs for the use in social and pleasure…”

    Anyone else think he was a bit mashed by the time he got to the end of that sentence, it makes less sense than an emu on acid.

  38. on 26 Sep 2008 at 3:32 pm AndyS

    “It’s a local thing. We’re having Christchurch flung out of the county for being a bunch of horses’ fannies.”

    we need to annex the pubs though.

  39. on 26 Sep 2008 at 3:33 pm DealersOfDorset

    Pologies man. Dropped some of dat well dodgy gear I got from Harry the Lash on Pete. Didn’t fink he’d mong it dat bad tho.

    Relax: when im talkin bout not lowerin to class B he finkin of da qwality innit. Clart.

  40. on 26 Sep 2008 at 3:33 pm Dr Shade

    “Everyone should have their blood tested on a regular basis. Those taking drugs should be fined, loose their job and loose their homes.

    [JackMaxDaniels], Midlands, United Kingdom”

    Fuck me – that’s a bit harsh on the poor sods taking Beechams and Night Nurse to get through a bad head cold isn’t it?

    And if you’re automatically sacked and evicted from your house how the fuck are you going to pay the fine?

    I suspect you’ve not quite thought this through Mr JackMaxDaniels!

  41. on 26 Sep 2008 at 3:38 pm Dr Shade

    “Ecstasy has no long term effects on people, especially if used appropriately”

    Michael Booth, Manchester

    Try telling that to my friend who has just been told that her sister has no chance of recovery after being diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia after years of taking ‘E’s and smoking cannabis and is now going to spend the rest of her life locked up in a psychiatric hospital after finally being sectioned for trying take her own life after several unsuccesful attempts. She is 33.

    [mizzdaizyduke]

    Anyone else have Vicky Pollards voice echoing through their heads while reading mizzdaizyduke’s witty and acerbic riposte?

  42. on 26 Sep 2008 at 3:39 pm AndyS

    “Everyone should have their blood tested on a regular basis. Those taking drugs should be fined, loose their job and loose their homes. It’s not fair that they come into work the next day and do a decent job while i stumble in bleary eyed and fuck everything up due to my drinking a bottle of jack a night.

    [JackMaxDaniels], Midlands, United Kingdom”

    To be fair, maybe it’s having their jobs and houses too tight that’s making them take drugs. He might be on to something.

  43. on 26 Sep 2008 at 3:47 pm shoerace

    I bet he didn’t feel the same way when he was designing the cover for Sergeant Pepper’s Ronery Hearts Crub Band.

    A thing of beauty.

  44. on 26 Sep 2008 at 4:27 pm Stuart

    Hehe – just saw this discussion on BBC HYS and thought it would be rich pickings for this site :)

    The discussion is moot: who takes pills these days? The true connosieur takes straight MDMA powder now!

    In these days of doom and gloom there’s never been a better time to get smashed.

  45. on 26 Sep 2008 at 4:31 pm alt-f4

    Surely someone has linked recreational drug use with terrorist finance by now.

  46. on 26 Sep 2008 at 4:39 pm Col John Matrix

    Legalising drugs isn’t what’s bothering me…it’s that EU Forrun weights and measurements are taking over our drug culture!
    When I was in court the other day, the judge said I was caught with 2kg of heroin. He should have said I was caught with 4.4lbs of heroin, which I consider English.

  47. on 26 Sep 2008 at 4:48 pm Far-Q

    Those taking drugs should be fined, loose their job and loose their homes.

    F@cking Tw@T. I can write better English than this flamingo’s fanny whilst smashed off my face than he can apparently sober.

    [mizzdaizyduke] appears not to have though through the possibility it could be that the someone-who-she-doesn’t-actually-know might have been using the drugs in an attempt to control her symptoms. Either that or she was getting some well-wicked ganja.

  48. on 26 Sep 2008 at 5:08 pm rotwatcher

    as in, don’t do drugs – I did a load this morning and now I can’t remember where I put my kids.

    Phew! For one moment there, I thought you’d written that you couldn’t remember where you put the drugs.

  49. on 26 Sep 2008 at 5:31 pm Shallot

    On an unrelated note, this here:

    http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/08/the_large_hadron_collider.html

    is a fucking goldmine. Please extract some of the mineral-rich ore for us and melt it down into beautifully sarcastic pieces of jewellery.

  50. on 26 Sep 2008 at 5:33 pm Freddy Two Trousers

    loose their job

    I’d like to get my job loosened.

  51. on 26 Sep 2008 at 6:30 pm Paul D. Waite

    There have been deaths in the past and will occur again in the future.

    Quite right! We keep cigarettes firmly in Class A, and we make sure no-one ever drives a car because they’ve caused deaths too.

    Oh wait. I’m talking fetid bollocks.

  52. on 26 Sep 2008 at 7:55 pm Alex

    http://xkcd.com/481/

    WE NEED ONE OF THESE.

    I’ll post the exact same link three more times for emphasis:
    http://xkcd.com/481/http://xkcd.com/481/http://xkcd.com/481/http://xkcd.com/481/

  53. on 26 Sep 2008 at 8:01 pm Alex

    WE NEED ONE OF THESE

  54. on 26 Sep 2008 at 10:27 pm Moe

    I remember reading something about an experiment they did on some rats – gave them about 50-tabs worth of E and subjected them to loud dance music for several weeks or sommat. Apparently the rats were quite pleased, but had a bit of a long kip afterwards.

    But that’s irrelevant. It’s still more dangerous than, erm … actually I can’t think of anything less dangerous, but it’s a DRUG. Therefore it should be class A. Whatever that means.

    Relax, I’m a tragically misinformed concerned parent.

  55. on 26 Sep 2008 at 10:57 pm alt-f4

    “Those taking drugs should be fined, loose their job and loose their homes.”

    Back home in bongo-bongo land I had to work and borrow 500 times what my house was worth just to live in it. All the drugs in our counrty were exported to the West.

    Now that I’ve emigrated to England (not UK) I have an inexhaustable supply of drugs and the benefit payments to be able to afford them.

    Relax, man.

  56. on 26 Sep 2008 at 11:33 pm Gilbert Wham

    @ Col John Matrix: I believ you mean 4lbs 4 ounces. One does not subdivide the mighty pound into units of ten…

  57. on 27 Sep 2008 at 12:05 am Col John (EU forrun spy)

    “@ Col John Matrix: I believ you mean 4lbs 4 ounces. One does not subdivide the mighty pound into units of ten…”

    Curses! My cover has been blown! ABORT! ABORT!

  58. on 27 Sep 2008 at 1:09 am Brokeback Britain

    “Near here’s a thing. Nobody gives a flying fuck what you or I believe in and this weekend I will do exactly the same drugs I did last weekend, and have been doing every weekend for the last twenty-five years (during which I’ve gained an advanced Oxford degree, and developed a well paid career having worked now in half a dozen countries on three continents).”

    Yeah, well i shat in my friends face, assaulted a police officer and then spoke to a door for three solid hours whilst high so you can fuck right off.

  59. on 27 Sep 2008 at 1:44 am arsebanana

    I’ve had some of my best religious experiences on drugs – in fact all the ones that weren’t the byproduct of a dire medical emergency – and religion’s probably a good thing for the average HYS brownshirt fuckwad – so where does that leave us????!??two[) oh hang on a sec I’ve got the virgin mary on the other line

    Relax, I’ve been sniffing brake fluid

  60. on 28 Sep 2008 at 8:26 pm Marcus

    No, 2 kilos is about 4lb 6-and-a-half oz.

    Re the rats experiment, did you see the one with spiders? Given weed, they make half-hearted webs with gaps in them; given coke, they make perfectly symmetrical webs (better than without it – see, it’s good for you); given caffeine they make something that looks like crazy paving. It fucks with their little spider minds a hell of a lot more than the illegal stuff does.

  61. on 28 Sep 2008 at 10:51 pm Peedo Stalker Sam

    I have to admit, I’ve never tried E. MDMA did interest me once, as did LSD, but in the end I decided to go with TITWANK and got a triple word score and an extra fifty points for using all my letters.

  62. on 29 Sep 2008 at 12:01 pm bigruss

    i took an e once but it didn’t do anything.

    oh and by the way – i expect we won’t have to worry about universal drugs testing at work – the houses of commons would be deserted – and the city.

  63. on 29 Sep 2008 at 1:19 pm Simple Tom

    …did you see the one with spiders? Given weed, they make half-hearted webs with gaps in them; given coke, they make perfectly symmetrical webs (better than without it – see, it’s good for you); given caffeine they make something that looks like crazy paving. It fucks with their little spider minds a hell of a lot more than the illegal stuff does.
    Marcus

    In that case, what did the f*** did they give to that Sir Tim Berners-Lee bloke? A pint of acid with Crack Crutons?

  64. on 29 Sep 2008 at 7:06 pm Anne

    I agree with Davis van Pelt IV. This letter was not worthy of this website. What Peter Brake was wrote was completely true.

  65. on 29 Sep 2008 at 7:38 pm Alex

    The opinions aren’t particularly bad, but you have to admit, he does sounds like a pompous horse’s arse.

  66. on 30 Sep 2008 at 8:39 am Far-Q

    Dear SYB,

    I am writing to complain about the merciless abuse of the unsuspecting fool who posted onto a website as if it is formal letter to his MP. I too write to these so-called blogospheres in this manner and would find it distasteful if I were mocked in the same manner.

    Yours sincerely,

    Far-Q esq, DFC, KFC, PDF & Bar.

  67. on 30 Sep 2008 at 1:14 pm bigruss

    i disagree with anne and alex. his opinons are wank.

    i fail to see why just because a drug ‘bends your mind’ makes it dangerous for your body.

    i also think sitting in watching celebrity cocksuckers or x factor on a saturday night is more of a sign of a broken society as going out dancing, meeting people and generally having a good time.

    relax, i’m a dj!

  68. on 30 Sep 2008 at 1:51 pm Kelvin

    Well you have to be carefuln with your terms there, don’t you. What Peter Brake describes as

    a broken society

    actually means

    A place where things happen which are different to the things I am used to. Perhaps I am at risk of hearing a language I do not speak, or being forced to imagine two attractive young men engaged in the physical act of love. Perhaps I have been upbraided – by a person YOUNGER than me! – for expressing a perfectly harmless sentiment along the lines of how expensive house slaves are getting these days. Basically by “broken society” I actually mean “a place which isn’t the 1950′s and which I have to actually continue learning to survive in, rather than pickling myself in whisky and saying whatever I like.”

  69. on 30 Sep 2008 at 1:52 pm Kelvin

    The broken blockquote is an eloquent metaphor for society’s brokenness, before any of you fucking philistines start.

  70. on 01 Oct 2008 at 3:05 pm John

    “during which I’ve gained an advanced Oxford degree”

    Is an advanced Oxford degree one where they finally realised that BSc is a more appropriate title for a Scientific subject? If so I’m glad to see your cute little Uni has finally caught up with those outside of Oxbridge.

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    I can’t believe you could mock the in no way innacurate and overdramatised story of the person mizzdaisyduke has never met. This poor benighted woman is clearly so unwell she’s had to be sent back to the 1930s for treatment, when people were occasionally “locked up for life”.

    Not of course that’s there’s anything wrong with lifetime detention. I’m about to incarcarate myself for the public good, as I have had a few funny cigarettes and I’m a touch forrun. I’m a fucking disgrace.


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