Armchair Generals and Outsiders and Plain Weird and Unfocused Rage29 Sep 2008 01:48 pm
By Alex

Thanks to Erik. Normally, when there’s news in an obscure country, like Finland or Sweden, or France, long-suffering Have Your Sayers are forced to regurgitate what little they know about it and bulk the rest out with rage and fabrication:

Hey, don’t knock the Finns! Finland is a lovely socialist, feminist paradise where everyone pays high taxes to support everyone else who lives off the state and happiness is Prozac-shaped. Harriet Harman wants the same for us here and if NuLab win the next election, she’s going to get it.

Kat, Exeter

But, every now and again, there’s cause for celebration and some innocent people get slaughtered using SOMETHING YOU ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT:

This pistol looks like the Walther P22 with the long barrel. I also have this gun but mine has the standard barrel I remember it was one of the two pistols used by the Chinese student who killer a large number of people about two years ago. The cost of ammo for this gun is very low,
going to the firing range you can shoot 500 rounds for about $10. My Walther PPKS is a 38 cal, four rounds from that gun cost $1, so I use the P22 for keeping my eye in and fire the PPKS only a few times just to lube it.

I am surprised that the P22 has been able to cause so many deaths although if using the rifle ammo like I do it has a bigger charge in the longer casing and can be purchased in hollow piont as well. This must have been the ammo that was used by the man who killed his family and animals last month.

If I tell people I have a .22 cal pistol over here they just laugh and even laugh at the .38 cal as well. So obviously it is all talk that the .22 cal is a toy.

I purchased mine for wild dogs.

james ex pat, Albany USA

You know most people just purchase Razzle for “wild dogs”.

234 Responses to “Just to Lube It”

  1. on 29 Sep 2008 at 1:56 pm Neko

    When james ex pat goes off on one and tops 18 people at his day centre, we’ll be able to say “I knew that guy before he was famous” whenever his picture comes up on the news.

  2. on 29 Sep 2008 at 1:56 pm Dingleberry

    ooohhhh I get first dibs…if I’m quick!

    Guns smhmuns… there.

  3. on 29 Sep 2008 at 1:57 pm Dingleberry

    Bah!

  4. on 29 Sep 2008 at 2:09 pm setyourfacestostunned

    Comparing ammo prices with a “lube” merchant from Albany?

    That he “He was a loner” potential.

  5. on 29 Sep 2008 at 2:10 pm setyourfacestostunned

    he=has

  6. on 29 Sep 2008 at 2:22 pm bigruss

    wierdo alert!!

    do not upset this guy unless you want a face full of lead.

  7. on 29 Sep 2008 at 2:54 pm Mr Cat

    Surely this is the mother lode of all gun related rants from that story – I suggest its read several times befcause something magic and new comes out every time I read it:

    Gun control is actually a part of the problem. Nutcases like this know that schools and universities are places where there are many unarmed students and teachers gathered in one place. They know that they will have a captive audience on which to carry out their deranged atrocity. They know that they can kill or injure as many as they like without any or little interference from the police. They simply save the last round for themselves. Why do you think they choose places like this? It is perfect! Dunblane, Columbine and Virginia Tech are three perfect examples of this type of mass killing. Moreover, what makes it even better is that some of these educational establishments openly advertise themselves as gun-free zones! You do not see any of these demented freaks attacking police stations, do you? Ever wondered why?
    - Kurt, Slough, 23/9/2008 17:46

    Makes sense… I mean what sort of madness would cause a mad gunman to go and shoot up an army barracks when they can quite easily be sensible and go mad in the relative safety of a school.

    And anyone using the term “what makes it even better” sees rampages as a good thing and has obviously given this a lot of thought.

  8. on 29 Sep 2008 at 3:09 pm DannyBoyB

    I can only hope that James has a wipe clean keyboard sheild.

    Relax: I’m just lubing.

  9. on 29 Sep 2008 at 3:27 pm setyourfacestostunned

    Are there seats of learning where most of the students and teachers are armed then?

  10. on 29 Sep 2008 at 3:29 pm fucko the clown

    once he has lubed it does he shove it up his arse? adding a bit of excitement by fondling the trigger and his cock at the same time. but only with his expensive bullets in, non of that cheap shit, it would barely kill him if it went off.

    I do find it amusing that in the USA any moron can buy a gun, at least here we only let our criminals have them, and not ordinary thickos and twunts.

    guns are so last week these days anyway, only knife crime is worth talking about.

    N.b. has Nelson written a book about Mohammed and now on the run?

  11. on 29 Sep 2008 at 3:33 pm Kelvin

    Are there seats of learning where most of the students and teachers are armed then?

    <churchill>Ohhhhhhhhh yes!</churchill>

    http://www.bju.edu/

  12. on 29 Sep 2008 at 3:34 pm Kelvin

    N.b. has Nelson written a book about Mohammed and now on the run?

    Let’s just say the life drawing class at the mosque went badly. For a whole host of reasons.

  13. on 29 Sep 2008 at 3:34 pm Kowalski

    “I am surprised that the P22 has been able to cause so many deaths ”
    Well,I think you’ll find that they DID, thus rendering all your anally retentive, gun fucking inspired spouting on the subject an epic fail

  14. on 29 Sep 2008 at 3:40 pm setyourfacestostunned

    Kelvon

    I think Team America went to Uni at Bob Jones University.

    I couldn’t bring myself to type BJU then. Fucksocks!!

  15. on 29 Sep 2008 at 3:41 pm setyourfacestostunned

    Kelvon=Kelvin

    Sorry mate. Three Martini lunch.

  16. on 29 Sep 2008 at 3:46 pm Kowalski

    BJU students need guns, to have them handy for the day they realise that they are god bothering bible wanking-over creationist cretins withe IQ of a deformed amoeba on crack, so they can then blow their brains out and spare the rest of the world their religious bullcrap (well, we can hope

  17. on 29 Sep 2008 at 4:11 pm deadestfish

    They know that they can kill or injure as many as they like without any or little interference from the police. They simply save the last round for themselves. Why do you think they choose places like this? It is perfect! Dunblane, Columbine and Virginia Tech are three perfect examples of this type of mass killing.

    Yeah, if the 5 and 6 year-olds at Dunblane had been armed with guns, tragedy was certain to be avoided.

  18. on 29 Sep 2008 at 4:14 pm alt-f4

    “This pistol looks cool. I reminds me of the pistol used by that Chinese student (I forgot his name, but I keep a picture of him in my scrapbook) who bat-shit crazy guncrimed a whole bunch of motherfuckers about two years ago. The cost of ammo for this guy was very low, coz he got most of ‘em with headshots. His picture was in all the papers and his facespace entry got like a zillion hits!
    My gun is bigger than his, and I can fit filed-down rifle rounds into it too. I reckon I could take out a car load of people for less than an a dollar with it. I take it out and lube it once in a while.
    I am surprised that guns have been able to cause so many deaths! If using the rifle ammo like I do it has a bigger charge in the longer casing (for all those anti-gun liberals out there who don’t understand what I mean by rifle ammo) It can be purchased in hollow piont as well (dum-dums to you, kiddo).

    This must have been the ammo that was used by the man who killed his family and animals last month. You know, the one that’s been all over the telly.

    If I tell people I have a .22 cal pistol over here they just laugh and even laugh at the .38 cal as well. But we’ll see who’s laughing when they are staring down the barrel of it. We’ll see.

    I purchased mine for wild dogs, drugscum, and immigrants.

    james ex pat

  19. on 29 Sep 2008 at 4:40 pm fucko the clown

    “Yeah, if the 5 and 6 year-olds at Dunblane had been armed with guns, tragedy was certain to be avoided.” I dunno, in the course of professional clown work, I’ve seen the little fuckers playing cowboys and immigrants enough, I reackon they would have given Hamilton a good fucking knee capping.

    NB can someone post how you put a quote in a grey box like deadestfish has for webtards like me who spend all day seething over the daily mail and can’t figure it out. much love, be lucky and other mockney cuntery xx

  20. on 29 Sep 2008 at 4:47 pm Kelvin

    <blockquote>Your comment goes here</blockquote>

  21. on 29 Sep 2008 at 5:09 pm fucko the clown

    i’ve seen your sister’s penis

  22. on 29 Sep 2008 at 5:11 pm fucko the clown

    MEH :) a tiny bit of joy in my otherwise pointless clown existance

  23. on 29 Sep 2008 at 5:44 pm alt-f4

    kurt, slough

    “You do not see any of these demented freaks attacking police stations, do you?”

    As a matter of fact you do. If you can be bothered to look that is:

    http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2008/07/01/asia/AS-China-Police-Killed.php

    “BEIJING: A man armed with a knife stormed a police station in Shanghai on Tuesday, attacking officers and killing at least five, authorities said.

    The 28-year-old man, surnamed Yang, set a fire outside a gate of the building, then rushed inside and began stabbing officers, the Shanghai Public Security Bureau said in a news release.”

    Worthy of a submission to Knifecrimer of the Year that one.

    As for the tonesetting right-wing talking point about gun laws, and the accompanying inconsistent examples, what use would have gun control (or lack thereof) been here? If the guy had wanted to shoot anybody he could have simply taken the first cop’s gun after killing him.

    “Ever wondered why?”

    Have you ever actually looked up anything you’ve wondered about? Or do you just assume that you’ve it got all figured out from what you’ve seen in the news, with a few right-wing talking points tossed in to tie it together as a workable non-liberal worldview?

    An equally workable hypothesis to your essentially meaningless question, “Why do school shooters always shoot in schools” and one that does not require children or their guardians to be armed, is that the kind of organisations that you get your news from feel that they can best capture your attention for the sake of their advertisers and political sponsors by giving you only the most lurid sexed-up horror stories of brutal and senseless violence because that is the only proven way to stimulate what passes for your intellect.

    Relax, I’m just calling you a cunt.

  24. on 29 Sep 2008 at 5:44 pm Raspberry Tart

    You do not see any of these demented freaks attacking police stations, do you? Ever wondered why?
    - Kurt, Slough,

    umm… didn’t the terminator rampage through a heavily armed police station and kill everyone? So nuuuuuuuuuur to your theory Kunt, sorry, Kurt.

    setyourfacestostunned
    Are there seats of learning where most of the students and teachers are armed then?

    You just know they’ll be one in Israel’s occupied-territory new towns somewhere.

    BJU students need guns, to have them handy for the day they realise that they are god bothering bible wanking-over creationist cretins

    To bring love and forgiveness to anyone willing to hear the word of Jesus. Or we’ll pop a cap in your sorry arse otherwise.

  25. on 29 Sep 2008 at 5:55 pm Brokeback Britain

    This pistol looks like the Walther P22 with the long barrel. I also have this gun but mine has the standard barrel I remember it was one of the two pistols used by the Chinese student who killer a large number of people about two years ago. The cost of ammo for this gun is very low,
    going to the firing range you can shoot 500 rounds for about $10. My Walther PPKS is a 38 cal, four rounds from that gun cost $1, so I use the P22 for keeping my eye in and fire the PPKS only a few times just to lube it.

    I am surprised that the P22 has been able to cause so many deaths although if using the rifle ammo like I do it has a bigger charge in the longer casing and can be purchased in hollow piont as well. This must have been the ammo that was used by the man who killed his family and animals last month.

    If I tell people I have a .22 cal pistol over here they just laugh and even laugh at the .38 cal as well. So obviously it is all talk that the .22 cal is a toy.

    I purchased mine for hunting the poor.

  26. on 29 Sep 2008 at 5:55 pm Alex

    You just know they’ll be one in Israel’s occupied-territory new towns somewhere.

    Yep. Remember that Yeshiva shooting back in March? A student took the gunman out from the roof before he even made nine. So clearly the system works.

  27. on 29 Sep 2008 at 6:07 pm Dingleberry

    from Daily Mail Article Comments

    …all of us knows exactly why USA is so famous for it’s school shootings – IT IS BECAUSE IT IS easy to get access to guns! DERAILED PEOPLE WITH GUNS KILL PEOPLE and not the other way round! – Elena, Essex, UK,

    not the other way round?

    People don’t kill derailed people with guns?
    Guns derail people who are killed?
    People derail guns?
    Derailed guns with people don’t kill?

    TELL ME!!!

  28. on 29 Sep 2008 at 6:10 pm Dingleberry

    Guns derail people…

    I’ll accept that one.

  29. on 29 Sep 2008 at 6:39 pm Raspberry Tart

    Yep. Remember that Yeshiva shooting back in March? A student took the gunman out from the roof before he even made nine. So clearly the system works.
    Alex

    Nine? Pssh! You’ll barely make it to page seven with Nine Isrealis. And only then on a slow news day. The guy was obviously a rank amatuer. If you don’t get into double figures (not including yourself obviously) then you’re not going to get anywhere near the ‘Make Them All Pay’ Hall Of Fame.

    I think that in the modern ‘Going Postal’ era, you’ve got to be scoring in the high twenties before you can serious start thinking about turning the gun on yourself.

  30. on 29 Sep 2008 at 7:29 pm fucko the clown

    Nine? thats wank fodder for youtube.

    you have to hand it to the Iraqi insurgents, they have anticipated such criticism and gone for the police school, two birds with one AK47 and all that.

  31. on 29 Sep 2008 at 8:28 pm Bit Special

    Ooooh yes, Kat from Exeter, god forbid the UK would ever become like Finland. Y’know, Finland – that place with the best education system in the world, rated no. 1 least corrupt country on the planet, in the top 10 of best standards of living in the world, that supplies fantastic benefits for workers, one of the least sexist/prejudiced societies in the world, some of the best healthcare available anywhere, which has really high life expectancies and is one of the safest and healthiest places to give birth in the world, a global telecommunications and technology leader and one of the most technologically advanced nations on Earth, where culture and the arts are inclusive, flourishing and well-funded, and where there’s great outdoor sports which you can enjoy in Finland’s vast expanses of beautiful, untouched nature (and great air quality, etc.), which go toward, unsurprisingly, getting it usually ranked no 1 for being environmentally excellent, is a country where it’s considered bad manners to talk to strangers in public (I’m a hateful misanthrope; what can I say?) AND they have The Northern Lights (the natural phenomenon, Kat, not the book… though they have that too) AND reindeers!

    What an absolute living nightmare of a place it must be – truly, we must do all we can to stop the UK ever reaching any of these impressive and enviable standards, YOU THICK, IGNORANT, AGENDA-PEDDLING CUNT.

    PS I don’t work for the Finnish tourist board, nor nuffink!

  32. on 29 Sep 2008 at 9:01 pm Alex

    Bit Special, you just brought a tear to my eye.

  33. on 29 Sep 2008 at 10:13 pm Bit Special

    You should see me work my *magic* in real life…

  34. on 29 Sep 2008 at 10:17 pm Bit Special

    By the above, I mean dealing with cunts. I’m not Paul ‘stunted devil-midget’ Daniels.

    Relax, I’m Debbie McGee.

  35. on 30 Sep 2008 at 8:32 am Far-Q

    I think we’re all agreed on what james ex-pat was really typing:

    I’m wanking as I write this

    Disturbing man, very, very disturbing.

    …openly advertise themselves as gun-free zones!

    Riiiight. A bit like the UK then….

    AAAaarrghhhhh…this can only mean one thing; some deranged merkin nutter is going to come over here and guncrime the whole of the British (not English) isles because we haven’t got guns and insist on using Celsius.

  36. on 30 Sep 2008 at 10:07 am Buzz Killington

    I can see the credit crunch driving our James a bit postal if it gets any worse.

    There will be endless merkins lubing their many firearms as we speak.

    Relax, they don’t have passports.

  37. on 30 Sep 2008 at 10:09 am Steve

    Dunblane, Columbine and Virginia Tech are three perfect examples of this type of mass killing. Moreover, what makes it even better is that some of these educational establishments openly advertise themselves as gun-free zones!

    Like Deepcut… Students jump the mass killings and just shoot themselfs.

    Also, Dosen’t Finland have VERY high alcohol duty? Work of the devil I tell you! The place is evil. Or that could be Norway.

  38. on 30 Sep 2008 at 11:00 am Helen

    The 28-year-old man, surnamed Yang, set a fire outside a gate of the building, then rushed inside and began stabbing officers, the Shanghai Public Security Bureau said in a news release.”

    Worthy of a submission to Knifecrimer of the Year that one.

    Ooh I can’t wait for Knifecrimer of the Year.

  39. on 30 Sep 2008 at 11:02 am Helen

    James ex pat should’ve saved us all a few minutes and just written ‘I have more guns than I do friends.’

  40. on 30 Sep 2008 at 11:02 am fogbat

    BJ University

    *snigger*

    Relax, I’m really childish.

  41. on 30 Sep 2008 at 11:24 am Kelvin

    i’ve seen your sister’s penis

    This reminded me of something. You know the song “I can see for miles” by The Who? Occasionally the tune pops into my head but with the lyric, “I can see your sister’s piles, I can see your sister’s piles. I can see her piles and piles and piles and piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiles!”

    The world of haemorrhoid cream advertising lost its brightest hope when I decided to take this career as an interweb moron baiter.

  42. on 30 Sep 2008 at 11:36 am Steve

    Could that be why James is lubing up his gun? To take potshots at his arse grapes?

  43. on 30 Sep 2008 at 12:30 pm Chuck Norris

    Guns don’t kill people… I do.

  44. on 30 Sep 2008 at 12:40 pm fucko the clown

    yeah but James only has a .22 gun, any serious surgeon would laugh at him trying to blow away an arse grape with that.

    mind you he has a good get out claus for lubing his barrel now, ” well doctor, I was lubing up my barrel as I was going to blow away some arse grapes with it, and I fell over and the barrel went straight up my arse, i mean what are the chances of that? anyway as I am so massively anally retentive, its managed to get stuck, could you pull it out for me, preferrably not by the trigger”

    anyway, whens knifecrimer of the year on? It should be the new sports personality of the year i think.

  45. on 30 Sep 2008 at 1:05 pm Far-Q

    Guns don’t kill people… I do.

    Chuck Norris is a rapper?

  46. on 30 Sep 2008 at 1:14 pm Raspberry Tart

    Why do you think they choose places like this? It is perfect! Dunblane, Columbine and Virginia Tech are three perfect examples of this type of mass killing. Moreover, what makes it even better is that some of these educational establishments openly advertise themselves as gun-free zones! You do not see any of these demented freaks attacking police stations, do you? Ever wondered why?
    - Kurt, Slough,

    Kurt, I completely agree with you. Today’s young gun-addicts are clearly failing to rise to the challenges presented by the more serious targets readily available such as police stations or annual party conferences. I think it’s a worrying reflection of current mores that we no longer produce youngsters of sufficient derring-do to go face-to-face against the armed resistance of trained strangers. Sadly, instead, they seem to prefer to stalk the familiar corridors of their own school, targeting the unarmed teachers who they perceive as the engineers of their misery; blasting away their fellow students who refused to see the inner beauty of their troubled, lonely soul; revelling in that short moment of total nihilistic power over their miserable, confused world. Pathetic. It would be so much easier for everyone if they would take the more positive step of charging CIA Headquarters or the NYPD.

    So, if we have to accept they will take the cowardly option of attacking their school, then your suggestion of arming academic institutions makes a lot of sense. But I’m a little concerned it would lead to an ‘arms race’ between the attacker and the attackee. Would supplying Mr Griffiths from 3B with a .22 cal not encourage our next generation of gottta-go heroes to bring more bang to the party? How long before some entrepreneurial little tyke turns up to school in a Sherman tank bought from the Ebay? Should we ‘jump the gun’, literally, and issue Light Armoured Vehicles to all Heads of Department? But then, deterred by the idea of French teacher, Mrs Penworthy’s easy access to the large-calibre fire-power of the splendid Saracen, might they not hijack an airliner or resort to WMD? Should schools take the ultimate precaution of a nuclear deterrent?

    (though I must confess to some reluctance to allowing PE teachers access to nukes)

  47. on 30 Sep 2008 at 1:21 pm Steve

    Would that be judged on a public phone vote, or just a last man standing contest?

  48. on 30 Sep 2008 at 2:08 pm llamafarmer

    Gun control is actually a part of the problem. Nutcases like this know that schools and universities are places where there are many unarmed students and teachers gathered in one place…..

    Moreover, what makes it even better is that some of these educational establishments openly advertise themselves as gun-free zones!

    A well thought out, frankly visionary comment Kurt. I wish you were my dad!

    Kindergarten Cop was a perfect example example of Prof Kurt’s revolutionary teaching environment.

    Oh, think of the children! THINK OF THEM!!

  49. on 30 Sep 2008 at 2:15 pm llamafarmer

    By the above, I mean dealing with cunts. I’m not Paul ’stunted devil-midget’ Daniels.

    Relax, I’m Debbie McGee.

    Oh I liked that! Not a lot….

  50. on 30 Sep 2008 at 2:26 pm fucko the clown

    (though I must confess to some reluctance to allowing PE teachers access to nukes)

    my PE teacher used to access his weapon when we were all in the showers. imagine his suprise when someone set fire to his car one day. the paedo cunt. in this day an age he would a news of the world front pager, wonder if i can look him up on face book and fedex a turd to him.

  51. on 30 Sep 2008 at 2:27 pm Rotwatcher

    The world of haemorrhoid cream advertising lost its brightest hope when I decided to take this career as an interweb moron baiter.

    Surely that’s the definition of happiness, being able to make a career out of a hobby. Me? MI5 pays me to write down the numbers on the front of trains. Well, it’s a living.

    Relax, I’m a nuthatch.

  52. on 30 Sep 2008 at 3:20 pm Anonymous Thicko

    can I practice that blockquote thing? Peace and Love xx

  53. on 30 Sep 2008 at 3:21 pm Lucie

    Yay. I am Unanonymous Thicko

  54. on 30 Sep 2008 at 3:26 pm Col John Matrix

    Ah, good old HYS inconsistency. One week they’ll blether on how terrible it is that all our schoolkids are armed to the teeth with blades, next week they’re telling us that we need to arm our schoolkids with guns to protect them from their classmates.

    And well done to Kat in Exeter for using mass murder to have a pop at Finlands ker-azy feminist socialist policies. Very tactful and respectful, you utter cretin.

    Relax, I’m an NRA member.

  55. on 30 Sep 2008 at 3:48 pm Disgustipated

    And not one mention of Marilyn Manson or DOOM.

    Amezin’

  56. on 30 Sep 2008 at 3:51 pm Kelvin

    Surely that’s the definition of happiness, being able to make a career out of a hobby.

    Yes but it’s not like getting uptight little Englanders to finger their ringpieces wasn’t also a hobby of mine too.

    Relax, I only ever got them to do it in school playgrounds.

  57. on 30 Sep 2008 at 4:08 pm Kowalski

    And not one mention of Marilyn Manson or DOOM

    Till now..D’Oh!

  58. on 30 Sep 2008 at 4:17 pm fucko the clown

    did someone say they wanted a game of Network doom? just had an early nineties flashback

  59. on 30 Sep 2008 at 4:36 pm Disgustipated

    did someone say they wanted a game of Network doom? just had an early nineties flashback

    Feeling nostalic myself now. Got the urge to chainsaw a cacodemon’s face off…

    … OLD SKOOL!

  60. on 30 Sep 2008 at 4:38 pm Disgustipated

    Nostalg</b<ic, obviously.

    DOOM may never have turned me into a psychotic killer, but it sure plays merry hell with my spelling…

  61. on 30 Sep 2008 at 4:40 pm Disgustipated

    Nostalgic, obviously.

    DOOM may never have turned me into a psychotic killer, but it sure plays merry hell with my spelling…

    (can anyone delete that monstrosity above?)

  62. on 30 Sep 2008 at 6:54 pm Kelvin

    The cacodemon? Yeah, the trick is to spot it early and use the rocket launcher from a safe distance.

  63. on 30 Sep 2008 at 7:57 pm fucko the clown

    rocket launchers are for pussies, James ex pat would have cut his cock off with a pocket knife.

  64. on 30 Sep 2008 at 10:28 pm Mr Foo

    James ex pat doesn’t neet to cut it off with a knife, because he only has a tiny cock. That’s why he needs so many guns.

    This comment would have been funnier if it had been Jeremy Beadle, because then I could have made the “on the other hand” joke. Can someone convince JB to make some fuckwitted guncriming comments on HYS from beyond the grave?

  65. on 01 Oct 2008 at 8:58 am Jeremy Beadle in Spirit

    Here in heaven we’ve got masses of guns, on the other hand, we don’t take guns to mass. But watch what happens now; we’ve put a splinter grenade down Gariel’s robe, just as he’s about to lead the heavenly host with a chorus of In Paradisum. He doesn’t know it, but he’s about to be blown to Kingdom Come Come.

  66. on 01 Oct 2008 at 9:00 am Jeremy Beadle in Spirit

    “Gabriel!” balls!

  67. on 01 Oct 2008 at 10:02 am fucko the clown

    ah yes good old beadle, maybe he shrunk his hand on purpose so he could have a wank and pretend it was a child. sort of psuedo paedo action.

  68. on 01 Oct 2008 at 11:30 am alt-f4

    Should schools take the ultimate precaution of a nuclear deterrent?

    America’s greatest school berserker, Andrew Kehoe, was on the school’s board of governers when he blew it up. Property taxes were raised on his farm to pay for the school and he went quietly postal. He’d spent a year or so wiring his home, the school, and his car with high-explosives, incendiaries, and ad-hoc shrapnel (nails, bolts, etc).

    On the day of the attack he bashed his wife’s head in with a shovel and set fire to her, blew up his home and out-buildings, and then blew up half the school (one of his bombs failed to detonate). After the explosions at the school he suicide car-bombed the gathering crowd, bringing his score up to 45 confirmed kills.

    He left a stenciled farewell note with a single chilling sentance with words to the effct, “CRIMINALS ARE DERAILED, NOT BORN”.

  69. on 01 Oct 2008 at 12:28 pm Disgustipated

    Wow. Thanks for lightening the mood, alt-f4.

  70. on 01 Oct 2008 at 12:36 pm fucko the clown

    now thats what I am talking about alt-f4, none of this pathetic nine kill business, in reality it was probably his wifes fault anyway and she deserved getting her head bashed in.

    mind you, taking a year to wire that place and only 45 kills, i’m sure a few chechen sepratists could do better with a handful of AK47s and some C4

    — oh i am evil, too much network doom as a child!

  71. on 01 Oct 2008 at 1:04 pm alt-f4

    i’m sure a few chechen sepratists could do better with a handful of AK47s and some C4

    I’ve been to that school. It’s a monument now. One of the local cops who was involved in the battle showed me around. Two of the “chechen sepratists” were British. You don’t get to hear about them in the UK press for some reason. But they don’t really count as proper berserkers since they had a political motivation of provoking a broader war between Ingushitia and Respublika North Ossetia-Alania.

    The world record spree killing, 58 confirmed kills, is still held by a Korean police officer who argued with his girlfriend one morning then decided to get drunk in the police armoury of all places. Inevitably it gave him ideas. After first shooting the operators in the local telephone exchange (to prevent any emergency calls getting through) he went from house-to-house using his police credentials to gain entry before shooting the occupants. One suspicious family was dispatched with a hand grenade through the window after refusing to let him in.

    Clearly we should ban police and schools.

  72. on 01 Oct 2008 at 1:09 pm Bugger's Muddle

    On the day of the attack [in 1927] he bashed his wife’s head in with a shovel and set fire to her, blew up his home and out-buildings, and then blew up half the school (one of his bombs failed to detonate). After the explosions at the school he suicide car-bombed the gathering crowd, bringing his score up to 45 confirmed kills.

    But at least he’s famous now, eh?

    Apparently, according to the zen gurus at wikipeadophilia, at 14 y.o. he watched his hated step-mother slowly burn to death in a kitchen oil-stove accident and didn’t help to save her… I don’t know about criminals, but sociopaths… maybe they are born, not made, afterall.

  73. on 01 Oct 2008 at 1:18 pm wobbegong

    must have been one hell of a big kitchen stove for the stepmother to fit in

  74. on 01 Oct 2008 at 1:24 pm DannyBoyB

    The mad thing about about that story is the fact that while Kehoe was blaming the tax for the school etc for his financial ruin, investigators found that he had more than enough machinery and unused farm supplies to clear his debt to the bank.

    Dozy twat.

  75. on 01 Oct 2008 at 1:31 pm Bugger's Muddle

    I am surprised that the P22 has been able to cause so many deaths although if using the rifle ammo like I do it has a bigger charge in the longer casing and can be purchased in hollow piont as well.
    james ex pat, Albany USA

    I agree with Neko @ comment No.1. This guy is just itching for an excuse to lose it. And when he does we’ll be able to say, “Look! look! look! look! look! We spotted him first.” Excellent, we’ll be cool and dangerously cutting edge.

    And the CIA will have to waterboard Nelson for having Marylin Manson MP3 downloads and a subversive website.

  76. on 01 Oct 2008 at 1:35 pm Desparate Dan

    must have been one hell of a big kitchen stove for the stepmother to fit in
    Wobbegong

    It was an Arrrrghga!

    Ba Boom Ching!

  77. on 01 Oct 2008 at 1:55 pm wobbegong

    Dan, that really is desperate

  78. on 01 Oct 2008 at 2:08 pm fucko the clown

    what wasnt mentioned was the stepmother incident was actually her using kitchen stove oil to lube her self upfor some self fisting accident, the mistake came doing it by candle light! the 14 yr old was wanking himself into a comma and didn’t bother to stop to put out her flaming minge. (ok i can’t really back that up, but since its now written on the interweb it must be true)

  79. on 01 Oct 2008 at 2:09 pm fucko the clown

    *self fisting action

  80. on 01 Oct 2008 at 2:14 pm bigruss

    self-fisting.

    will have to give that a try.

  81. on 01 Oct 2008 at 2:16 pm Disgustipated

    must have been one hell of a big kitchen stove for the stepmother to fit in

    Probably on loan from the same company that supplied the witch’s kitchen off of Hansel and Gretel.

  82. on 01 Oct 2008 at 2:25 pm Dr Shade

    the 14 yr old was wanking himself into a comma

    I tried wanking myself into a comma once but I had to come to a full stop when I had trouble with my colon…

  83. on 01 Oct 2008 at 2:50 pm Accident prone

    I am always having self fisting accidents.I really should start preparing for them.But not by a stove.

  84. on 01 Oct 2008 at 2:55 pm fucko the clown

    yeah yeah yeah rip my posts to bits, I don’t care, we’ll all be knifecrimed by next tuesday anyway.

  85. on 01 Oct 2008 at 2:59 pm Kelvin

    I tried wanking myself into a comma once but I had to come to a full stop when I had trouble with my colon…

    Best thing to do is stop when you get to a semi.

  86. on 01 Oct 2008 at 3:47 pm DannyBoyB

    Before in ends in c-apostrophe?

    Sorry. I felt the need to make some exclamation…

    RElax, I’m Richard Stilgoe…

  87. on 01 Oct 2008 at 3:48 pm Wehaaaaaaaay

    She fisted her colon while he wanked himself into a comma?

    That kind of persversion deserves a long sentence.

  88. on 01 Oct 2008 at 4:05 pm Dr Shade

    yeah yeah yeah rip my posts to bits, I don’t care

    We can’t help it Fucko – we’re all grammar school boys!

  89. on 01 Oct 2008 at 4:08 pm fucko the clown

    fucksox

    come on Nelson’s brother, post a new thread, take the heat off my half arsed post, I feel like a sperm whales socket.

    out of interest, is a female sperm whale called a minge whale?

  90. on 01 Oct 2008 at 4:23 pm Kowalski

    We can’t help it Fucko – we’re all grammar school boys

    Yep, well educated but with an excessive interest in sex, other boys, and the attentions of PE & Geography teachers!

    And surely a female Sperm Whale will be an Egg Whale, or possibly a dirty fat tart who just luuuuurves it when you take her hard at 500 fathoms

  91. on 01 Oct 2008 at 4:35 pm Dr Shade

    I have a disease that is caused by the normal air i breath and the food i eat.like hundreds of thousands of others probably caused from the chinnoble disaster and other industrie. I also have a Degree in photography and i belive that the power of photography and the use of images to highlight and effect any cause is dead. images that disturbe us are thrust upon us every day. the only effect this will have is a phycolicaly damaging one, we still have war dont we. Child cruilty pedophiles, drugs.. darren ord, stockport

    Never mind fucko – this bloke’s grammar, spelling and sentence structure are much worse than yours and he’s got a Photography degree!

    And how can you be proud of a degree in photography? All you have to do is point the right end at something and push a fucking button… There obviously wasn’t a written exam involved judging by this guy’s grasp of english.

    But you’ve got to admire the tenacity of someone who can shoehorn paedophiles and “the War” in to post on a debate about whether disturbing images on cigarette packets will encourage people to give up smoking!

    And if he likes Chinnoble so much why doesn’t he fuck off and photograph the place?

    WILL NO-ONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN AND THEIR CRUILTY???!!!111!!

  92. on 01 Oct 2008 at 4:37 pm Dr Shade

    or possibly a dirty fat tart who just luuuuurves it when you take her hard at 500 fathoms

    Oh. You’ve met my ex then?

  93. on 01 Oct 2008 at 4:40 pm Buzz Killington

    Fucking photography degree?

    Badgers beef pocket!

    There’s obviously no written exam.

    Up the grammar boys!! Well, theat’s what our P.E. teacher used to sing as he escorted us to the showers.

    Relax, he was gentle.

  94. on 01 Oct 2008 at 4:40 pm Buzz Killington

    theat?

  95. on 01 Oct 2008 at 4:41 pm fucko the clown

    Did he end his rant, and then list his interests before his name?

    Child cruilty pedophiles, drugs.. darren ord, stockport

    quick i’ve found one, burn him, burn him now and those damn Paedatricians, always hanging around children.

  96. on 01 Oct 2008 at 4:44 pm fucko the clown

    Up the grammar boys!! Well, theat’s what our P.E. teacher used to sing as he escorted us to the showers.

    Relax, he was gentle.

    someone needs to tell those damn PE teachers, shower gel isn’t an acceptable lubricant.

  97. on 01 Oct 2008 at 4:45 pm Buzz Killington

    Better than no lubricant.

    That was our school motto.

  98. on 01 Oct 2008 at 4:47 pm Dr Shade

    I have a disease that is caused by the normal air i breath and the food i eat

    Terminal Fanny-Twatitis?

    images that disturbe us are thrust upon us every day

    Will those fucking re-runs of Sex and the City never FUCKING END???!!!

    the only effect this will have is a phycolicaly damaging one

    WILL NO ONE THINK OF THE ALGAE???!!!!!!

  99. on 01 Oct 2008 at 5:29 pm Bit Special

    I am so impressed by ‘phycolicaly’ that I have actually jotted it down, lest I ever forget its awesome power of thicktwatness. That would be pronounced ficollycally, phonetically. I presume he means ‘psychologically’… where is the ‘g’ sound, you complete turd? WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE?!!!ONE!!!

    I’d admit to being a pedant, but I don’t want a braying mob of knuckle-dragging illiterates to storm round mine (again).

  100. on 01 Oct 2008 at 5:37 pm Crusty the Clown

    HeyaaayayeheeyehyeyEY-EY-HEY!!! What’s this about school kids making a clown’s life hell? You lousy little cockroaches. Clowns are SPECIAL, d’y hear? Fucko’s one of the best. After me, I never saw no-one take a pie like Fucko. Don’t make me come down there.

  101. on 01 Oct 2008 at 5:45 pm Dingleberry Bush

    “Talk, Talk, Talk, Talk, Talk, Talk, Talk, Talk, Talk, Talk and more Talk. But no policies, we are waiting for your REAL policies Mr Cameruin”

    Ray Telford

    Oh God… Oh God, please no.

    Cameruin???

    Oh The Horror!!! The Horror!!!

  102. on 01 Oct 2008 at 5:51 pm Dingleberry Bush

    On that guy from Cameroon’s speech…

    Well I prefer an InExperienced PM than the current Experience under our current PM.
    We need to reduce Taxation
    We need to scrap Lisbon Treaty
    We need to Re Arm ready for the Muslim onslaught
    We need to reduce Immigration
    We need Law and PUNISHMENT
    We need the Death Penalty
    We DONT NEED EUROPE OR THE EURO
    We need Proper Education (3 R’s + History not Media Studies)
    We need to scrap Human Rights Act
    We need a ENGLISH Referendum on Scotland

    We need it now, Long live England

    London Banker, London

    Scrap Human Rights, Europe and fucking Media Studies, NOW!!!!

  103. on 01 Oct 2008 at 6:12 pm Dingleberry Bush

    We hear about the GLOBAL economy which is clearly working becasue I just bought a £90 golf club in Florida that cost me the same as if I had bought it in the UK.
    However, I bought a pair of new Levi jeans in Macy’s department store in a posh mall in West Palm Beach (that even the USA residents deem “expensive” ) for £16. The same jeans in the UK would cost me over £60 so something has to give in rip-off Britain where we are also heavily taxed directly and indirectly.

    [Mike_Kilo], Milton Keynes, United Kingdom

    Last one from me… Mike “Kilo” (???) shares his insights on the GLOBAL economy with his curious ‘it fine, but it isn’t’ bragg of his Florida lifestyle. Yeah, whatever Mike, you live in Milton Keynes, you Vole Vulva.

  104. on 01 Oct 2008 at 7:28 pm Col John Matrix

    I think London Banker’s finger slipped and pressed ‘B’ instead of ‘W’.

    I’d love to know what his English (sorry, ENGLISH) referendum on Scotland would entail. Probably it ends with Alex Salmond getting sent a letter reading

    “DeAR SCOtLanD (not UK)

    WE DuN’T waNT Too hav U in the UNOIN anymore. FUk OFF and tak e gordon CLOWN and teh SCOTTISH MAFAI witH yOu.

    YouRS tRuly
    ENGLAND (not UK)”

    And then, presumably, Ingerlund (not UK) would have squllions of moneys to spend on themselves and not to buy Scottish people free prescriptions and haggis and Irn Bru and whatever else I’m allegedly sponging off English (not UK) taxpayers.

    Relax, I’m wearing a kilt.

  105. on 01 Oct 2008 at 8:49 pm Mal

    End to the nanny state and political correctness. Excellent, enough of this left wing claptrap.

    Socialists, pack your bags and head to mother Russia.

    Dave Price, Leeds, United Kingdom

    Surely the ‘why don’t you go live n Russia’ line hasn’t really worked on us Trots since it became a capitalist dictatorship.

  106. on 01 Oct 2008 at 8:51 pm Far-Q

    “Well I prefer an InExperienced PM than the current Experience under our current PM.”
    Time for my ill-formed opinion to be spouted onto the world.
    “We need to reduce Taxation”
    We need to reduce Taxation for the rich bankers like me who aren’t going to get our bonuses this year, which is like, so unfair what with us having almost nothing to do with the current, erm, banking crisis.
    “We need to scrap Lisbon Treaty”
    I hate European forruns
    “We need to Re Arm ready for the Muslim onslaught”
    What I hate more than European forruns are forruns who don’t have the decency to be God Fearing Christian forruns
    “We need to reduce Immigration”
    But essentially I hate everyone who is forrun
    “We need Law and PUNISHMENT”
    For forruns, and peedos and scum, not for white collar crime, like bring down banks and stuff ‘cos that would be silly. And I might get nicked.
    “We need the Death Penalty”
    For forruns, peedos and the like. ‘Cos hanging’s too good for them.
    We DONT NEED EUROPE OR THE EURO
    Did I mention my irrational hatred of the Europeans yet? I did? Just making sure my point got across.
    “We need Proper Education (3 R’s + History not Media Studies)”
    If we teach history, we can the youth of today how we’re still a great nation because we were once great. And clearly I need some of the 3Rs looking at the shit I’ve just typed.
    “We need to scrap Human Rights Act”
    Because once I rule the UK the pandering to human rights of forruns, and peedos and scum will not matter because we’ll kill them all
    “We need a ENGLISH Referendum on Scotland”
    I even think of the Scots as forrun, and hate them for occupying part of our land so will disown the land they have defiled rather than talk to them.

    “We need it now, Long live England”
    Masturbates furiously to God Save The Queen

    “London Banker, London”
    I live alone and wank to the daily mail every night. I don’t know why I live alone, but I’m a very nice person really, once you get past the rabid xenophobia, the frothing irrational hatred of everything I don’t understand, my narrow-minded belief that everything I read in the Mail is true and the FACT I am the most obnoxious CUNT this side of Andromeda Galaxy

  107. on 01 Oct 2008 at 8:54 pm Far-Q

    Sorry about the length of that.

    Not a sentence I get to use often.

    Or, in fact, ever.

  108. on 01 Oct 2008 at 9:31 pm Col John Matrix

    “Far-Q

    Sorry about the length of that.

    Not a sentence I get to use often.

    Or, in fact, ever.”

    I presume that you also include never having to apologise for it lacking in length either then?

    Congratulations on having an average sized cock.

  109. on 01 Oct 2008 at 9:38 pm fucko the clown

    blimey is this turning into an amature cottaging site.

  110. on 01 Oct 2008 at 9:59 pm AndyS

    i feel i’ve missed out. i had a grammar school education and i didn’t witness any paedononcery or homosexual behaviour in the 6 years i was there.

    the closest we came was our biology teacher’s wife leaving him for another woman.

  111. on 01 Oct 2008 at 10:07 pm Far-Q

    I presume by amature you are mean a- as a prefix meaning ‘lacking in, lack of’ resulting in ‘an immature cottaging site’.

    Immature children cottaging?

    Goddamn peedos.

    Unless of course you mean ‘amateur cottaging’ in which case I will I take even greater offence, as there is no way anyone could describe me as an amateur cottager.

  112. on 01 Oct 2008 at 10:07 pm Alex

    Just so you know, I had a state education and saw a bit of gayness and paedononcery in my time.

  113. on 01 Oct 2008 at 10:31 pm millie

    We can’t help it Fucko – we’re all grammar school boys

    wot, no grrrls?

  114. on 01 Oct 2008 at 11:19 pm fucko the clown

    you get a better class of buggery in the private school system, i’ve heard

  115. on 02 Oct 2008 at 6:55 am DisgustedOfTunbridgeWells

    Just so you know, I had a state education and saw a bit of gayness and paedononcery in my time.

    All PE teachers are gay, that’s just a pure fact.

    One of our’s actually was and had been throwing teenage girls in the shower for years before she had to admit it in front of the whole school.

    That was a good day.

  116. on 02 Oct 2008 at 8:21 am Mr Foo

    I presume by amature you are mean a- as a prefix meaning ‘lacking in, lack of’ resulting in ‘an immature cottaging site’.

    I read it as a pismelling of “armature cottaging”, although quite what that’s supposed to mean has me stumped. Some sort of bizarroid “tetsuo-style” electromechanical fetish, I guess.

    Relax. I’m drunk.

  117. on 02 Oct 2008 at 8:57 am annoying american

    @ Far-Q… flawless HTML work, very impressive.

    LEARN PEOPLE!!!

  118. on 02 Oct 2008 at 8:59 am Dingleberry

    The default state of SYB late-thread posting does seem to be gay-sex smut and peedo rudery. Is this the benefit of a priviledged education?

  119. on 02 Oct 2008 at 10:03 am Far-Q

    gay-sex smut and peedo rudery

    That’s not the benefit of a privileged education, it’s the definition of a privileged education.

  120. on 02 Oct 2008 at 10:27 am Buzz Killington

    If it is, you as an un-peedo’d product of the state system, would not understand.

    It is only through peedo-antics that this great country can maintain it’s grammar/private school system (and Conservative Party) and display to the world same.

  121. on 02 Oct 2008 at 10:48 am Kelvin

    wot, no grrrls?

    Who needs girls when you can paint your nails and sit on your hand ’til it goes numb?

  122. on 02 Oct 2008 at 11:02 am Buzz Killington

    Or have your fag do it!

  123. on 02 Oct 2008 at 11:13 am Desparate Dan

    We hear about the GLOBAL economy which is clearly working becasue I just bought a £90 golf club in Florida that cost me the same as if I had bought it in the UK.
    Mike Kilo

    Relax, people. The global economy’s working fine. Mike’s looked into it for us, we’re OK. Phew! I thought we were in trouble, but now I’m going to take out that unsecured loan for a holiday.

  124. on 02 Oct 2008 at 11:38 am Sally

    Bit Special – I am so impressed by ‘phycolicaly’ that I have actually jotted it down, lest I ever forget its awesome power of thicktwatness.

    I know I’m a bit late on this, but how about this one from the CBeebies website message boards (don’t ask):

    hello im new 2 i have a 2 year old wot about u my wee one loves cbbies and its funny because he loves bob the billder when he sees it he sing the bob song its sweet well mt feonsay is called steven well bye…………………

    Feonsay…it never gets old :)

  125. on 02 Oct 2008 at 11:52 am shoelace whicker

    I regularly summer at Mt. Feonsay. They make a simply exquisite golden rum there.

    well bye.

  126. on 02 Oct 2008 at 12:03 pm Ire

    It just took me five minutes of saying ‘feonsay’ out loud to figure out what she was trying to communicate.

  127. on 02 Oct 2008 at 12:13 pm Dr Shade

    We can’t help it Fucko – we’re all grammar school boys
    wot, no grrrls?

    millie – by definition ANYONE who went to grammar school is in fact “a girl” regardless of whether they have a winky in their underpants or not.

    Big, blazer-wearing, gay-boy, noncy jessies the lot of them.

    Not like us hard comprehensive chav scum.

    Now give us yer dinner money before I knifecrime yer!!!

  128. on 02 Oct 2008 at 12:33 pm wobbegong

    poor Steven must be wondering what the fuck is he doing intending to marry that indescribable mess of grammer, spelling and fuck-wittery

  129. on 02 Oct 2008 at 12:45 pm bigruss

    i also had trouble working out what the fuck feonsay meant.

    oh well, at least it can operate teh internets…

  130. on 02 Oct 2008 at 1:02 pm Desparate Dan

    Not like us hard comprehensive chav scum. Now give us yer dinner money before I knifecrime yer!!!

    Do you mean lunch money, chav?

  131. on 02 Oct 2008 at 1:07 pm Far-Q

    I thought she’d slipped in an Oirish name for a minute but eventually realised she’d actually slipped into Phonetic.

    Why do i feel like me and my feonsay arnt any thing more than just butt buddies?

    I googled feonsay to see if it would return the old ‘Did you mean Fiancee’ but got the above as the first entry and pages of similar entries.

    I’m off to cackle at idiots, I may be some time.

  132. on 02 Oct 2008 at 1:07 pm dirigible

    Scrap [...] fucking Media Studies, NOW!!!!

    I’ll be interested to see how Charlie Gere reacts to that call.

  133. on 02 Oct 2008 at 1:16 pm Far-Q

    hello mi name nicole i am 18yrs old i stay in whaktane with mi feonsay i am a very intalagent…

  134. on 02 Oct 2008 at 1:34 pm Lucie

    I *heart* this website. I’m just not sharp enough to comment often but, fuck, it’s makes me weep with merriment.

    Relax, I passed my eleven plus

  135. on 02 Oct 2008 at 1:36 pm Buzz Killington

    Dinner money? How very provincial.

  136. on 02 Oct 2008 at 1:40 pm Lucie

    im soon to be maried to my child hood sweat heart his name is lane we feel in love in the 8th gare weve been togeth evere since i had my first child when i was 22 and now im 27 sara my little girl is 7. my family move to NY so sara dose not get to see her grammy often but when she dose grammy spoises her lik a littel princes even when shes not!!

    Is this for real?

  137. on 02 Oct 2008 at 1:51 pm Lucie

    i had my period about a week agow when i had sex with my feoncay i went to the toylet after and i had bled a littel and then i notised when i when i put any presher on my stumock i bled a littel and i am trying for a babyBabies and heat rashes
    Baby feeding patterns shuld i go to my gp or am i just worying about nothing any advice would be welcom

    Googling feoncay produces a never ending stream of hilarity. Although it’s slightly worrying that this person is thinking of reproducing

  138. on 02 Oct 2008 at 2:10 pm Col. Steve

    Dear Sir’s,

    As the product of a good Church State school I am incensed at your insinuation that only private schools have good peedos. I find this situation deeply worrying and the work of left wing Eurocrats. I demand you do something about this now!

    Col. Steve Steveson. England (not UK)

  139. on 02 Oct 2008 at 2:15 pm Col. Steve

    I *heart* this website. I’m just not sharp enough to comment often but, fuck, it’s makes me weep with merriment.

    Relax, I passed my eleven plus

    Lucie, I assure you that you don’t need to be sharp, just be able to talk crap for England (not UK). Unless you want to knifecrime someone.

  140. on 02 Oct 2008 at 2:21 pm Dingleberry

    Googling ‘feonsay’ is one of the scariest things I have ever done. I will never sleep peacefully again.

    I would rather the world were invaded by killer-aliens or that mutant zombies rose from the grave than spend another day knowing that I am surrounded by shuffling, slack-jawed, vacant-eyed humans drifting through the world muttering “Nooo Braaaaaaaaaaane”

    There is only one possible conclusion: they must all die.

    (Can anybody advise me on a suitable gun/bullet combination for an extended shooting spree in an urban environment, probably a shopping mall?)

  141. on 02 Oct 2008 at 2:24 pm Buzz Killington

    Dear Col. Steve

    I understand your concerns about sub-standard peedo’s at Church State schools, believe me.

    I was speaking with some young chavs just the other day who were explaining to me, between mouthfuls of fried chicken and alcopops, that one of their teachers was recently interfering with them at the back end and did not have the decency to give the lad a reach-a-round. Needless to say I will be taking this matter with the Headpeedomaster.

    On the other hand, as you are a compo-thickie, I would appreciate if you could keep your mindless ranting to yourself and let your betters get on with building a happier Britain (not UK).

    BANK!!

    Yours etc

    David Cameruin.

  142. on 02 Oct 2008 at 2:36 pm Far-Q

    togeth evere since i had my first child when i was 22 and now im 27 sara my little girl is 7

    Hmm. I think we’ve found one of those people who failed both Maths and English at GCSE.

    @Dingleberry, Might I recommend a P22, rifle ammo, and hollow points? Just don’t forget to Lube it.

  143. on 02 Oct 2008 at 2:58 pm AndyS

    grammar/public school paedononces are clearly better than church ones as it’s only the church ones what get caught.

    relax, as an altarboy the only way i can reach those high notes is if you squeeze my testicles

  144. on 02 Oct 2008 at 3:46 pm Dingleberry Bush

    @Dingleberry, Might I recommend a P22, rifle ammo, and hollow points? Just don’t forget to Lube it.

    Surely a .22 is just a toy? Won’t people laugh at me if I’m waving my litlle .22 around? Will they take me seriously?

    I’m not sure I am a good enough marksmen to rely on headshots. Will a .22 take someone down without headshots?

  145. on 02 Oct 2008 at 3:54 pm santa shoelace

    O just another bland polished face and clean teeth appear with my wife happy family spin merchant, Do politicians really believe we the public are so stupid,do they really believe that the man in the street falls for such simplistic nonsense.
    Kev, London

    This one gets my vote for the stupidest comment on HYS.
    If your looking for someone with a dirty face and bad filthy teeth to rule you,I’m afraid you are well in the minority.

    pat sheppard

    Having read it twice, it’s accelerating round my brain at increasing speed, like a Large Idiot Collider. Is Pat Sheppard simply introducing the remainder of the comment with the “stupid” remark? If so, then they may have a point. Why has Kev from London entered so freely into the Christmas spirit soon? Is it a comment, or just the worst Christmas carol ever?

    Bad filthy teeth, in your bed

    Sorry, nothing to with feonsays.

    well bye.

  146. on 02 Oct 2008 at 5:27 pm Ryunosuke

    O just another bland polished face,

    and clean teeth appear with my wife happy,

    family spin merchant

    bleesings and greetings, my satire masters.

  147. on 02 Oct 2008 at 5:32 pm Yoda

    getting long, this thread is. Replace you should… hhhmmmm.

  148. on 02 Oct 2008 at 5:38 pm Dr Shade

    Not like us hard comprehensive chav scum. Now give us yer dinner money before I knifecrime yer!!!

    Do you mean lunch money, chav?

    Only middle-class peedo willy-woofters have lunch!!!

    “Oh! I say! It must be time for “lunch” Desperate old bean. And it hardly seems 5 minutes since we had tiffin…”

    What a bunch of sweaty vicar’s cock-bollocks.

    Out here in the knifecriming-twoccing-hoodie-REAL-world we have:

    breakfast
    dinner
    tea
    supper

    in THAT order!!!1!!

    FACT!!!11!!ONE!!

    END OF!!!!1!ELEVENTY-ONE!!!

  149. on 02 Oct 2008 at 5:45 pm AndyS

    but tea’s a drink with jam and bread

  150. on 02 Oct 2008 at 5:51 pm Waynetta Slob

    breakfast
    dinner
    tea
    supper

    I think you’ll find that in the knifecriming-twoccing-hoodie-REAL-world we have

    Snacks
    Snacks
    Chips
    Snacks
    Snacks
    Fish ‘n’ Chips or Chinese Takeaway
    Snacks
    Beer and snacks

    (Isn’t ‘snacks’ a weird word if you say it too often?)

    Snacks!

    Snacks…

    Snacks?

  151. on 02 Oct 2008 at 5:59 pm Dr Shade

    OK it’s the 21st of December my feonsay has benn over here for 3 days it dont get much better . Than that we spend time togerther waching movies and playing around . I realize that she is the only g/f that would ever slap box with me so not care so. that is kool. she also has sood up for me.Not cuz im not not one to aruge with any one. so my sis wanted to aruge i walked away . She said something to my g/f and her and my sis. were all of a sudden throughing punshes. after my g/f kick my sises ass me and her leafted so my g/f could get some air. and now my sis and FEONSAY. are the best of friend. Think ever better than what they were to begin with. ok time to go talk to ya l8erz bye much lov

    WHAT.

    THE.

    FUCK???

    And is “slapping box” a sexual act?

    “l8erz”

    Spunkbucket.

  152. on 02 Oct 2008 at 6:00 pm Dr Shade

    ok to start off my feonsay was in jail becouse of some mastakes dew to him being an adickt so he goes to jail gets work release starts his job one month latter a familly member and her exboyfriend over dose of herion so my exaunt does not like me nore my feonsay becouse of familly issues and her sewing my feonsay years back for a car accadint with my cousin that over dosed so now he is working in hanover twp and some how ashly twp has got a report from my exaunt blaiming him for giving them the harion so the place he was working went under investagation in hanover but ashly twp is on the case i no wheird but any how officer serski had the work release guys removed from the work area do to investagation by he said she said commints so they whent back into the county and they droped there workrelease took drug test on him he passed them also so the county was tring to quickly ship him out when he showed he was elagable for workrelease so they kept him there we repa-tishound the jude connahan and now today he was denied with no reason given and they have quickly moved him out to clinton county what is going on hear there is alot missing they have no evadince on him how can they deny him of workrelease with no propable couse if it was so called him why is his job still under investagation? and why is he not able to work somewhere else? there is alot not being said someone there for the cop noes the judge or something how do i fight this it’s not fair he finally straintons his self up takes care of his 4 kids and one on the way and someone like my exaunt that had nothing to do what was going on filled out an alfadata and got him put back

    There is absolutely nothing I can say that could do justice to that.

  153. on 02 Oct 2008 at 6:10 pm Waynetta Slob

    sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!!! Sweet holy Christ! That is some serious skanky messed-up underclass stuff. Remind me not to go to Clinton County for my Holiday next year.

    That’s the textual equivalent of a snuff movie. Yeesh I need a wash. What God forsaken crevice of the net did you peel that from, Dr Shade???

    Poor bloody cow… poor bloody kids!!! What a mess!

  154. on 02 Oct 2008 at 6:14 pm AndyS

    i have a feonsay she is in the Philippines she is coming to the usa to attend medical school and find a job and marry me when she is ready she wants me to collect info on what is the best way for her to get here and find out how she can get a job before she gets here and forward it to her by e mail she is a psychologist she also says she will work as a care giver i can not travel by myself i have a doctors note stating that but the web sight said you could not receive attachments i am wondering what do you think is the easiest and best way for her to get here she is more honest and straightforward then most ladies i met

  155. on 02 Oct 2008 at 6:43 pm Dingleberry Bush

    Googling ‘Feonsay’…

    We’re through the looking glass here, people! (Don’t you wish you’d just taken the blue pill instead?)

  156. on 02 Oct 2008 at 7:08 pm Nimrod

    It’s the search that never stops giving:

    im 18 i have a kid her name is rylee and a feonsay named sandra

    this is my first blog and it might be a bit weard for a guy to blog wow i like that word blllllllloooooooooooooggggggggggggg ne who my dougter is starting to be more interactive and she likes to look at me im so happy whin i hold her i dont like to hear her cry i think she will be spoiled whin she grose up. her mom had her first visit from ant flow sins are doughter came i almost forgot how bad it can get. still dibateing if i should quit smokeing and allso if i should go hunting this year. well time for bed so much for my first blog.

  157. on 02 Oct 2008 at 7:36 pm Bit Special

    What I want to know is, have they ACTUALLY spelt the kid’s name ‘Rylee’?? Nice. I have an American friend who’s a teacher and once taught a little girl whose name was Assholey – her parents thought that was how Ashley was spelt.

    I also like the way he’s discussing his feonsay’s menstrual cycle completely randomly… even though it took me fully five mins to work out what ‘ant flow sins’ meant!

    PS I went to a crap comprehensive and the PE teachers were all peed0z – gay, lesbian and hetero. No wonder today’s kids are so sexually precocious; cos of the current furore over paedos, they’ve not been scarred mentally by tracksuited pervs and therefore not been sufficiently stunted. If it was good enough in my day to have to play netball whilst male PE bastards stood around smoking and making comments within earshot about what they’d like to do to who, then it’s good enough for ‘da yoof ov 2day’.

  158. on 02 Oct 2008 at 8:37 pm Mr Foo

    On the B&B bailout…

    What an awful mess we are in!!!

    Is this the country for which hundreds of thousands of young men and women of my generation lost their lives in WW2?

    We have historical short memories when it suits our greed.

    [Anglobert], Surrey, United Kingdom

  159. on 02 Oct 2008 at 9:15 pm Far-Q

    WTF on so many levels.

    Hey,
    I made a mistake my sisters feoncay is acutely going to be gone for 4 1/2 to 5 mouths whops. I am rely happy. I can’t wait tell thursday. Guess what! Meany people know this I’m happy. LOL. Well I am going to go bye bye ttyl.

    Dear God, please be a piss take.
    Phonetic googles. Welcome to a world you hoped you didn’t exist.

    Hi im geting maired in july me and my feoncay are looking for another girl for some fun in the bedroom we are looking right now to get to know some one becose she is pregnet but after she has the baby we wont to play so if you are intrested than contacted me and iI will send you a pic of her please no guys hope to hear from all the sexy girls in Cincinnati OH

    Just look at his picture. (see if this works?)

  160. on 02 Oct 2008 at 11:53 pm Mal

    You think that’s his, ‘feoncay’ in the picture?

  161. on 02 Oct 2008 at 11:55 pm Mal

    Apologies for that extraneous comma. Damn peedoh teachers never taught me punctuation.

  162. on 03 Oct 2008 at 12:10 am deadestfish

    There’s more, you can also Google ‘fiansay’ -

    My name is Sarah and my Fiansay Is in the Air fourse. I am from Racine Wisconsin.I have a 9 month old son named Sebastion.

  163. on 03 Oct 2008 at 12:16 am George Michael

    Where’s all the gay smut tonight? Fuck this, I’m off to the heath.

  164. on 03 Oct 2008 at 6:55 am ourmaxine

    The gay P.E teacher’s mafia is still at large.

    My son is 15 and at grammar school. His female P.E teacher is banned from the girls changing rooms.

    Apparently the P.E teacher’s partner (or maybe gay fionsay?) shares a name with the netball club captain. Lets call her “Chelsea”.

    One day the P.E teacher composed a loving but saucy text message to her beloved,
    but accidentally sent it to the 14 year old netball captain instead..

    Anyway, thats the story shes sticking to.

  165. on 03 Oct 2008 at 8:53 am millie

    14 yr old Chelsea? Sounds familiar…

  166. on 03 Oct 2008 at 9:08 am Chelsea 14

    OMG! Like, those ‘feoncay’ peple are like sooooooooooo thik Hahahahah! I’m onle 14 but like WTF yeah? Didunt they go to skool or nuffin oh my god thats just so like loooooooseers yeah?

  167. on 03 Oct 2008 at 9:08 am Lucie

    And is “slapping box” a sexual act?

    I do not exaggerate when I say a tiny bit of wee escaped when I read that.

    Relax, I’m wearing Tena Lady

  168. on 03 Oct 2008 at 9:09 am Chelsea 14

    innit tho?

  169. on 03 Oct 2008 at 9:09 am Far-Q

    And fionsay….

    look i really dont want to argu kid i just sais am sick of these threads and i did not call him gay and dont dare to tell me to shut up now am going back to my fionsay

    Future HYS poster:

    The wize men were sent out all over Jerusilum and Bethlehem, to seek for this new king.
    At this time King Herod was making all the people under his command pay 40% more tax!!! And 17.5% of that went to him!!! One of his ruley people was Mary, and her fionsay Joeseph were on there way to Bethlehem- which was Mary’s birthplace. Mary was heaverly pregnent at the time, although she claimed to still be a virgin. Hours later Mary’s miricle baby was born, and she called him Jesus.

  170. on 03 Oct 2008 at 9:13 am Far-Q

    ” I nominate Gene Hunt to replace Blair. He’d soon get the scum off the streets. ”

    [photoboy], Cheltenham, United Kingdom

    From Met Chief Blair resigns
    Do you think he knows Gene hunt is fictitious?

  171. on 03 Oct 2008 at 9:20 am Far-Q

    Good.

    [vivenot], London, United Kingdom

    Recommended by 45 people

    45 people thought this monosyllabic tw@t was worth recommending.
    Was it the only post they could understand, what with it only having a single word even they could get their heads round and wasn’t in anyway ambivalent?

  172. on 03 Oct 2008 at 9:21 am Far-Q

    One for the Moderation martyrs:

    When people are very, very old and become painfully slow, they then get a job as moderators on Have Your Say.

    Lady-in-waiting

    Recommended by 124 people

  173. on 03 Oct 2008 at 9:55 am fucko the clown

    I’ve got RSI from scrolling down 8 miles of screen to read this thread each time. Is Nelson still in hiding?

    we need a new thread or I might actually have to do some work!!!

  174. on 03 Oct 2008 at 10:04 am alt-f4

    we need a new thread or I might actually have to do some work!!!

    Relax, it’s Friday.

  175. on 03 Oct 2008 at 10:25 am Far-Q

    What is this ‘work’ of which you speak?
    And how do you ‘do’ it?

  176. on 03 Oct 2008 at 10:25 am alt-f4

    JUST MOVED FROM MISSISSIPPI, MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER ,MYSELF AND THREE SONS AND WERE IN NEED OF LOW INCOME HOUSING TO GET SETTLED IN A PLACE OF OUR OWN MY PHEONSAY IS CURRENTLY WORKING AND HAS BEEN SINCE

    Maybe he got sacked before she could finish the sentance.

  177. on 03 Oct 2008 at 10:39 am Desparate Dan

    @Alt-F4

    “PHEONSAY”

    Ooooh, get her, posh cow with her fancy french spelling.

  178. on 03 Oct 2008 at 10:53 am Buzz Killington

    Any guesses as to the price of low-cost home for a family of five?

    And who wants to bet it doesn’t have wheels?

  179. on 03 Oct 2008 at 10:57 am scaremonger

    This is glorious. Yet I am torn between sheer delight and an urge to hunt these people down and kill them like the mangy rabid animals they are. The youth of today, as my mother would say.

  180. on 03 Oct 2008 at 11:09 am Desparate Dan

    I am torn between sheer delight and an urge to hunt these people down and kill them like the mangy rabid animals they are.

    Just remember to save the last bullet for yourself and to set up a few clips of you posing with your gun on YouTube first.

  181. on 03 Oct 2008 at 11:23 am Toapy Wit-Sank

    “Harion adickt” Now I know why the term ‘smack-head’ is more often used. I find many of these read even better if you play Eminem’s Stan in your head whilst reading…

  182. on 03 Oct 2008 at 11:26 am Throbbe

    I’ve so far resisted the temptation to google it, but I just know there are some poor kids out there named Beonsay.

    WON’T SUMWON THINK OF THE CHILDRENS!!!!

    (apart from evil peedo wolves, obviously)

  183. on 03 Oct 2008 at 11:27 am Steve

    Come on Nelson! We can find our own fools to laugh at, but we need your l33t web skilz to give us a new topic to post under.

  184. on 03 Oct 2008 at 11:29 am scaremonger

    Don’t worry Desparate Dan my Walther PPKS is primed and ready to go. My video will consist of me drinking a lovely cup of tea in my finest china whilst listening to something middle of the road, maybe james blunt, maybe that way the powers that be, or some bored house wives will call for a ban on the blunt, and tea, but the latter is just for the hell of it, I love tea.

  185. on 03 Oct 2008 at 11:39 am Desparate Dan

    @scaremong

    why not be a bit more proactive, man?…shoot the blunt.

    You’ll be an immortal superhero! You’ll probably get the ban on hand guns lifted if you do that.

  186. on 03 Oct 2008 at 11:49 am scaremonger

    Damn it Dan I will do it, you heard it here first. Although I am pretty lazy. While I embark on my new purpose in life I am willing to take requests. Maybe we could organise a HYS conference, get them all in one place and BOOM. I needed to get a word in that was all uppercase. Oh and at primary school I once saw my PE teachers testicle…

  187. on 03 Oct 2008 at 11:55 am aSBo baZ

    I luuuuuuu-u-u-u-u-urve the idea of going postal and blaming it on the pernicious influence of coventional mainstream culture. It appeals to my sense of whimsy.

    Terry Wogan MADE me do it!!!

  188. on 03 Oct 2008 at 11:58 am scaremonger

    I love whimsy, in my opinion that word doesn’t get used nearly enough.

    If were blaming Terry Wogan lets chuck Ken Bruce into the mix, or are they the same person?

    Those people that try to give me a free paper near the tube made me do it. But I actually think they might…

  189. on 03 Oct 2008 at 11:59 am Mal

    The Democrats VP Biden is absolutely wrong if Americans have great knowledge with high philosophy and political skill, every American should know that as the current history of US is effect of Democratic president Bill Clinton’s 8 years tenure of White House , Also 8 years term of Democratic party Goodness was effect of Republican president Reagan and president Bush 12 years tenure of office. That is undeniable modern political science theory

    ( Modern political Science Research Bureau)

    Bella Liberty, Las Vegas

    People who work in political think-tanks clearly have brains far in advance of the rest of us.

  190. on 03 Oct 2008 at 12:04 pm Buzz Killington

    I like to lube it, lube it

    I like to lube it, lube it

    I like to lube it, lube it

    You like to…..

  191. on 03 Oct 2008 at 12:14 pm Alex

    So here’s a beonsay for you: http://www.faceparty.com/beonsay

    Mostly bog-standard bad spelling, but I thought it was worth a mention for:
    “PLEASE WARN ME IF YOUR SLIGHTLY STRANGE?”

  192. on 03 Oct 2008 at 12:16 pm Far-Q

    I couldn’t help it. This has to be a piss take; they get double points for shoe-horning in both feonsay and beonsay.

    PLZ help my baby dady call me a ho cuz I had secks with his best firend and he wana go mary anova bich and not me. why is he mad he wana go and mary his dumass feonsay than i dont care. he dont wana give me no more mony he say he alredy giv me 600 moth and he say no more mony but i neesd it cuz my lite bill need to get pay and i need to get my hair dun like beonsay what u think i can do go bak to cort for cs

  193. on 03 Oct 2008 at 12:19 pm Far-Q

    That is undeniable modern political science theory

    No it’s not, it’s f@cking right-wing thicko gibberish.

  194. on 03 Oct 2008 at 12:25 pm herbert j. shoelace

    No it’s not, it’s f@cking right-wing thicko gibberish.

    The difference being?

    Palin was on form last night. Once more she refused to blame all man activity of man on climate change. She also cited passing budgets she agreed with as her main weakness. And referred to Senator O’Biden. Doggone it.

  195. on 03 Oct 2008 at 1:09 pm Far-Q

    Should caning be reintroduced?

    Yes
    I was caned or slippered as it was known at school in the seventies. Discipline was better and there was a genuine respect for teachers.
    I believe you can trace the current scourge of anti social behaviour back to the banning of corporal punishment in schools by the EU.

    Chicken Licken, The sky’s falling down

    I too was regularly caned at school, or mashed as we called it in the eighties.

    YES these youngsters have no discipline at all thanks to this Labour party and there human rights

    D, London

    There English is be shocking as well.

  196. on 03 Oct 2008 at 1:10 pm Far-Q

    f@cking href html tags

  197. on 03 Oct 2008 at 1:15 pm aSbO bAZ

    I was regualarly caned at school and it never did me any harm…

    and I think we should flog the lot of them over and over and over and over and over and over again until they become normal decent people.

    NEVER DID ME ANY HARM!

    *twitch*

  198. on 03 Oct 2008 at 2:37 pm Mal

    And after all paedophillic S&M is what made this country great, no wonder NuLabour and their Euro leftie masters want to ban it.

  199. on 03 Oct 2008 at 2:48 pm Captain Fucktard

    Guns don’t kill people… I do.

    That’ll be one order for a Twinkie Weiner Sandwich then.

    You are soooooooooooo stooopid!

  200. on 03 Oct 2008 at 2:49 pm fucko the clown

    oh the irony, I used to dread the cane at school, now I pay £200 an hour for it.

  201. on 03 Oct 2008 at 2:50 pm fucko the clown

    still think I am getting a bargain though, Max Mosely paid 7 grand.

    RELAX they were only pretending to be Nazi’s

  202. on 03 Oct 2008 at 3:00 pm Peter O'Hanarha-Hanrahan

    I believe you can trace the current scourge of anti social behaviour back to the banning of corporal punishment in schools by the EU.

    Chicken Licken, The sky’s falling down

    I believe you can trace the current scourge of right wing, reactionary, BNP-supporting comments on HYS back through the introduction of populist internet fora, Enoch Powell’s Rivers of Blood speech, the publication of the Daily Wail and the Daily Depress to the reign of Queen Victoria.

  203. on 03 Oct 2008 at 3:03 pm Far-Q

    “Your picture of the schoolgirl in the grey pleated skirt being struck on the bottom is, I am sure, not MEANT to be sexually tittilating, but for some people it will be and this is one main reason why we should not allow teachers to hit children”

    What rubbish! this is irrelevant – the people who may find it tittilating are not going to be allowed anywhere the children that need the punishments! It isn’t going to be televised for their entertainment!

    Alice W, Bristol, United Kingdom

    Is Alice W saying she will allow people who find it tittilating near children who don’t need punishment? If so it’s probably because they’re the ones less like to knifecrime you for being a sadistic peedo.

    Alice is clearly a bit dim if she thinks that one of the questions on a teacher’s job interview is ‘Are you titillated by caning schoolgirls?’

  204. on 03 Oct 2008 at 3:05 pm deadestfish

    More Beoncay fun, from Bebo pages -

    all.. beoncay knowel fans come here this is beoncay real group.. people think she lives just in america she dont she lives in california-hollywood………………..
    ………….

    and

    singer..hip hop..R&B….jazz…. i have a crush on JY-Z !!!!
    all ,y fans me my freind and this is the real beoncay knowels!

    Beyonce Knowles’ English is so bad, she can’t spell her own name?

  205. on 03 Oct 2008 at 3:09 pm Dirty-Minded Nun

    still think I am getting a bargain though, Max Mosely paid 7 grand.

    RELAX they were only pretending to be Nazi’s

    Just like his dad, Oswald, then. FACT!

  206. on 03 Oct 2008 at 3:15 pm Dirty-Minded Nun

    “Your picture of the schoolgirl in the grey pleated skirt being struck on the bottom is, I am sure, not MEANT to be sexually tittilating, but for some people it will be and this is one main reason why we should not allow teachers to hit children”

    Phwoar!

  207. on 03 Oct 2008 at 3:18 pm Captain Fucktard

    “Your picture of the schoolgirl in the grey pleated skirt being struck on the bottom…”

    I’m sorry, I’ve just come…

  208. on 03 Oct 2008 at 3:35 pm fucko the clown

    where is this picture you speak of…..

    (i’m wanking as I type this)

  209. on 03 Oct 2008 at 3:37 pm wobbegong

    Blimey Fucko, clowning must be paying well if you can afford £200 for a good caning. For that amount I’d want a good caning and to fist Lulu. Just to make the hideous plastic moron really shout.

  210. on 03 Oct 2008 at 3:38 pm Ire

    When people are very, very old and become painfully slow, they then get a job as moderators on Have Your Say.

    Lady-in-waiting

    Recommended by 124 people

    I find the frustration behind this post and its associated recommendations quite amusing. I’m imagining thousands of people frantically pressing ‘refresh’ on their web browsers to see if their own personal bit of idiotic, ungrammatical, predictable and unoriginal mind-spew has made it out into cyberspace to join the hoards of almost identical posts. And they care SO MUCH. Imagine if all that effort went towards something… oh never mind.

    Relax, I’ve never had an original thought in my life

  211. on 03 Oct 2008 at 3:47 pm Dr Shade

    The last couple of generations got the cane and it did them no harm.

    Except, of course, being the most bloody generations in history…
    Peter H

    There you go folks. World War 2 wasn’t about the rize of the Nazi Party and their use of lebensraum to invade/annex neighbouring countries, or the complex and tangled web of military alliances that eventually dragged most of the world into conflict, or even the deranged obsession of one crackpot little psychopath to wipe out entire races he disliked.

    No. The millions of violent bloody deaths in World War 2 were all down to schoolkids getting their arses caned when they were naughty.

    It’s all so blindingly obvious when it’s pointed out to you, isn’t it…?

  212. on 03 Oct 2008 at 3:54 pm Dr Shade

    On another occasion I saw other boys tearing paper into tiny pieces & scattering it all over the streets. This lack of respect stems from the lack of discipline, but for most children the cane would not need to be used, but rather just a deterrant. However as a last resort, when all else fails, then yes

    Too fucking right!

    Those bastard paper-tearing litterers are MUCH worse than knifecriming hoodies!!!

    But they should be caned only as last resort, like when the repeated forced fellatio and arse-raping hasn’t taught them the proper respect for the sanctity of crisp white foolscap!

    Then – and ONLY then! should they be made to bend over and drop their trousers and present their pert, white, creamy arse-cheeks to the short, sharp, sweet caress of the cane!

    THWACK!!!

    Oh yes.

    Oh.

    My.

    Fucking.

    God.

    YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  213. on 03 Oct 2008 at 3:56 pm Wayne

    And so, in the absence of Nelson, was Charlie Brooker’s prophetic vision of “RabbleMock HaHaTime” realised.

    Still, jolly well done everyone.

  214. on 03 Oct 2008 at 4:10 pm Dirty-Minded Nun

    I don’t know if any of your gentleman readers would be interested in the mundane day-to-day activities of convent educational practices, but i quite often have to use corporal punishment with the young ladies at Our Lady of Immaculate Conception School for Girls. Especially the older girls when we catch them smoking or being cheeky. Generally we use a bamboo cane. However, because the cane can do damage their little grey skirts, after I have bent them over the desk in my study I lift their little skirt out of the way first. But I wouldn’t want me to bore you with stories about some of the skimpiest knickers I have ever seen in my life or the squeals and moans that the girls make.

    Look at me, wittering away, I’ll let you get back to your serious talk, don’t mind me.

  215. on 03 Oct 2008 at 6:02 pm fucko the clown

    @dirty-minded nun
    do you do any private work after hours?

  216. on 03 Oct 2008 at 6:30 pm Mal

    Are there any job vacancies there at the convent? I have my own wimple (and cane).

  217. on 03 Oct 2008 at 8:40 pm Rhinestone Choirboy

    I think I could bring some fresh educational approaches to a convent.

    Oh God yes. Yes very much indeed.

    Relax, I’m a pedagogue.

  218. on 03 Oct 2008 at 9:58 pm Gilbert Wham

    Can anybody advise me on a suitable gun/bullet combination for an extended shooting spree in an urban environment, probably a shopping mall?

    I’d recommend at least a two-man team, Dingleberry. One on a .50 cal firing short, sustained left-right bursts into the flanks of the crowd to bunch them in whilst you run amuck in the centre with a chainsaw. But why go for a shopping centre? In Mud Island, the football season is already upon us. Superbowl is nearly here for the Revolted Cousins. Why waste time in a mere shopping centre when you could lay waste to a sporting event? Think big,/i>

  219. on 03 Oct 2008 at 10:00 pm Gilbert Wham

    CUNT! Fucking tags…

  220. on 04 Oct 2008 at 9:24 am Kowalski

    But to achieve that sort of mass destruction, you would have to become one of those forrun immagrunt turban-wearing ‘splodey jihadists! So think son, is it really worth it just for 6 dozen virgins (who will all be as ugly as sin, we know all these forrun women are)
    (c) any HYS contributor

  221. on 04 Oct 2008 at 10:18 am Cowboy

    I’m sure there used to be a budget amusement park in Devon called Finlands, maybe Kat from Exeter is getting confused.

  222. on 05 Oct 2008 at 10:34 am millie

    I have a calloused scroll finger

  223. on 05 Oct 2008 at 9:17 pm poppy

    I went to finlands once with my stepmum. It really wasn’t that great

  224. on 05 Oct 2008 at 10:19 pm Kelvin

    I have a calloused scroll finger

    The END key is your friend.

    Unless this is some veiled reference to female masturbation.

  225. on 06 Oct 2008 at 9:39 am Far-Q

    One on a .50 cal firing short, sustained left-right bursts into the flanks of the crowd to bunch them in whilst you run amuck in the centre with a chainsaw

    Perhaps a little too much thought has gone into this?

    Since 1991, 129 teachers have been prosecuted whilst a study suggests as many as 1,500 intimate relationships develop every year.These teachers are an example to us all,they are the lowest of the low.

    Yanto, UK

    From the Should teachers hump their students HYS
    Yanto sounds interesting; they think that these lowest of the low peedos teachers are an example to us all. And I for one agree, nobbing skool girls sets a fine example.

  226. on 06 Oct 2008 at 9:42 am Far-Q

    Yay! Href worked.

  227. on 06 Oct 2008 at 10:36 am Stuart

    Good grief, why don’t they just make all rumpy-pumpy illegal by consenting adults!

    Rumpy-pumpy: Two words that are criminally underused.

  228. on 06 Oct 2008 at 10:37 am Stuart

    Bollocks. Great big sweaty swingy bollocks.

  229. on 06 Oct 2008 at 11:15 am rubber millie

    The END key is your friend.
    Unless this is some veiled reference to female masturbation.

    It’s either lots of tapping of the ‘page down’ key, or one tap of the ‘end’ key then lots of tapping up.

    Thanks for the suggestion though, you’re veiled reference gave me an idea. I’ve managed to ease the friction by wearing my ‘special’ rubber glove.

  230. on 06 Oct 2008 at 2:49 pm Kelvin

    It’s either lots of tapping of the ‘page down’ key, or one tap of the ‘end’ key then lots of tapping up.

    Once again I’m not certain whether this is a veiled reference to female masturbation.

    Although it does make me think that all you need to do is switch your rampant rabbit to rotate mode and rest its tip on the down key.

  231. on 06 Oct 2008 at 9:17 pm Jessica Rabbit

    Although it does make me think that all you need to do is switch your rampant rabbit to rotate mode and rest its tip on the down key.

    Mmm, works a treat

  232. on 06 Oct 2008 at 9:28 pm Alex

    Why are we talking about rampant rabbits? What about UNCONTROLLED IMMIGRATION!?

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