Thanks to Erik. Normally, when there’s news in an obscure country, like Finland or Sweden, or France, long-suffering Have Your Sayers are forced to regurgitate what little they know about it and bulk the rest out with rage and fabrication:
Hey, don’t knock the Finns! Finland is a lovely socialist, feminist paradise where everyone pays high taxes to support everyone else who lives off the state and happiness is Prozac-shaped. Harriet Harman wants the same for us here and if NuLab win the next election, she’s going to get it.
Kat, Exeter
But, every now and again, there’s cause for celebration and some innocent people get slaughtered using SOMETHING YOU ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT:
This pistol looks like the Walther P22 with the long barrel. I also have this gun but mine has the standard barrel I remember it was one of the two pistols used by the Chinese student who killer a large number of people about two years ago. The cost of ammo for this gun is very low,
going to the firing range you can shoot 500 rounds for about $10. My Walther PPKS is a 38 cal, four rounds from that gun cost $1, so I use the P22 for keeping my eye in and fire the PPKS only a few times just to lube it.I am surprised that the P22 has been able to cause so many deaths although if using the rifle ammo like I do it has a bigger charge in the longer casing and can be purchased in hollow piont as well. This must have been the ammo that was used by the man who killed his family and animals last month.
If I tell people I have a .22 cal pistol over here they just laugh and even laugh at the .38 cal as well. So obviously it is all talk that the .22 cal is a toy.
I purchased mine for wild dogs.
james ex pat, Albany USA
You know most people just purchase Razzle for “wild dogs”.
When james ex pat goes off on one and tops 18 people at his day centre, we’ll be able to say “I knew that guy before he was famous” whenever his picture comes up on the news.
ooohhhh I get first dibs…if I’m quick!
Guns smhmuns… there.
Bah!
Comparing ammo prices with a “lube” merchant from Albany?
That he “He was a loner” potential.
he=has
wierdo alert!!
do not upset this guy unless you want a face full of lead.
Surely this is the mother lode of all gun related rants from that story - I suggest its read several times befcause something magic and new comes out every time I read it:
Makes sense… I mean what sort of madness would cause a mad gunman to go and shoot up an army barracks when they can quite easily be sensible and go mad in the relative safety of a school.
And anyone using the term “what makes it even better” sees rampages as a good thing and has obviously given this a lot of thought.
I can only hope that James has a wipe clean keyboard sheild.
Relax: I’m just lubing.
Are there seats of learning where most of the students and teachers are armed then?
once he has lubed it does he shove it up his arse? adding a bit of excitement by fondling the trigger and his cock at the same time. but only with his expensive bullets in, non of that cheap shit, it would barely kill him if it went off.
I do find it amusing that in the USA any moron can buy a gun, at least here we only let our criminals have them, and not ordinary thickos and twunts.
guns are so last week these days anyway, only knife crime is worth talking about.
N.b. has Nelson written a book about Mohammed and now on the run?
<churchill>Ohhhhhhhhh yes!</churchill>
http://www.bju.edu/
Let’s just say the life drawing class at the mosque went badly. For a whole host of reasons.
“I am surprised that the P22 has been able to cause so many deaths ”
Well,I think you’ll find that they DID, thus rendering all your anally retentive, gun fucking inspired spouting on the subject an epic fail
Kelvon
I think Team America went to Uni at Bob Jones University.
I couldn’t bring myself to type BJU then. Fucksocks!!
Kelvon=Kelvin
Sorry mate. Three Martini lunch.
BJU students need guns, to have them handy for the day they realise that they are god bothering bible wanking-over creationist cretins withe IQ of a deformed amoeba on crack, so they can then blow their brains out and spare the rest of the world their religious bullcrap (well, we can hope
Yeah, if the 5 and 6 year-olds at Dunblane had been armed with guns, tragedy was certain to be avoided.
“This pistol looks cool. I reminds me of the pistol used by that Chinese student (I forgot his name, but I keep a picture of him in my scrapbook) who bat-shit crazy guncrimed a whole bunch of motherfuckers about two years ago. The cost of ammo for this guy was very low, coz he got most of ‘em with headshots. His picture was in all the papers and his facespace entry got like a zillion hits!
My gun is bigger than his, and I can fit filed-down rifle rounds into it too. I reckon I could take out a car load of people for less than an a dollar with it. I take it out and lube it once in a while.
I am surprised that guns have been able to cause so many deaths! If using the rifle ammo like I do it has a bigger charge in the longer casing (for all those anti-gun liberals out there who don’t understand what I mean by rifle ammo) It can be purchased in hollow piont as well (dum-dums to you, kiddo).
This must have been the ammo that was used by the man who killed his family and animals last month. You know, the one that’s been all over the telly.
If I tell people I have a .22 cal pistol over here they just laugh and even laugh at the .38 cal as well. But we’ll see who’s laughing when they are staring down the barrel of it. We’ll see.
I purchased mine for wild dogs, drugscum, and immigrants.
james ex pat
“Yeah, if the 5 and 6 year-olds at Dunblane had been armed with guns, tragedy was certain to be avoided.” I dunno, in the course of professional clown work, I’ve seen the little fuckers playing cowboys and immigrants enough, I reackon they would have given Hamilton a good fucking knee capping.
NB can someone post how you put a quote in a grey box like deadestfish has for webtards like me who spend all day seething over the daily mail and can’t figure it out. much love, be lucky and other mockney cuntery xx
<blockquote>Your comment goes here</blockquote>
MEH
a tiny bit of joy in my otherwise pointless clown existance
kurt, slough
“You do not see any of these demented freaks attacking police stations, do you?”
As a matter of fact you do. If you can be bothered to look that is:
http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2008/07/01/asia/AS-China-Police-Killed.php
“BEIJING: A man armed with a knife stormed a police station in Shanghai on Tuesday, attacking officers and killing at least five, authorities said.
The 28-year-old man, surnamed Yang, set a fire outside a gate of the building, then rushed inside and began stabbing officers, the Shanghai Public Security Bureau said in a news release.”
Worthy of a submission to Knifecrimer of the Year that one.
As for the tonesetting right-wing talking point about gun laws, and the accompanying inconsistent examples, what use would have gun control (or lack thereof) been here? If the guy had wanted to shoot anybody he could have simply taken the first cop’s gun after killing him.
“Ever wondered why?”
Have you ever actually looked up anything you’ve wondered about? Or do you just assume that you’ve it got all figured out from what you’ve seen in the news, with a few right-wing talking points tossed in to tie it together as a workable non-liberal worldview?
An equally workable hypothesis to your essentially meaningless question, “Why do school shooters always shoot in schools” and one that does not require children or their guardians to be armed, is that the kind of organisations that you get your news from feel that they can best capture your attention for the sake of their advertisers and political sponsors by giving you only the most lurid sexed-up horror stories of brutal and senseless violence because that is the only proven way to stimulate what passes for your intellect.
Relax, I’m just calling you a cunt.
umm… didn’t the terminator rampage through a heavily armed police station and kill everyone? So nuuuuuuuuuur to your theory Kunt, sorry, Kurt.
You just know they’ll be one in Israel’s occupied-territory new towns somewhere.
To bring love and forgiveness to anyone willing to hear the word of Jesus. Or we’ll pop a cap in your sorry arse otherwise.
This pistol looks like the Walther P22 with the long barrel. I also have this gun but mine has the standard barrel I remember it was one of the two pistols used by the Chinese student who killer a large number of people about two years ago. The cost of ammo for this gun is very low,
going to the firing range you can shoot 500 rounds for about $10. My Walther PPKS is a 38 cal, four rounds from that gun cost $1, so I use the P22 for keeping my eye in and fire the PPKS only a few times just to lube it.
I am surprised that the P22 has been able to cause so many deaths although if using the rifle ammo like I do it has a bigger charge in the longer casing and can be purchased in hollow piont as well. This must have been the ammo that was used by the man who killed his family and animals last month.
If I tell people I have a .22 cal pistol over here they just laugh and even laugh at the .38 cal as well. So obviously it is all talk that the .22 cal is a toy.
I purchased mine for hunting the poor.
Yep. Remember that Yeshiva shooting back in March? A student took the gunman out from the roof before he even made nine. So clearly the system works.
from Daily Mail Article Comments
not the other way round?
People don’t kill derailed people with guns?
Guns derail people who are killed?
People derail guns?
Derailed guns with people don’t kill?
TELL ME!!!
Guns derail people…
I’ll accept that one.
Nine? Pssh! You’ll barely make it to page seven with Nine Isrealis. And only then on a slow news day. The guy was obviously a rank amatuer. If you don’t get into double figures (not including yourself obviously) then you’re not going to get anywhere near the ‘Make Them All Pay’ Hall Of Fame.
I think that in the modern ‘Going Postal’ era, you’ve got to be scoring in the high twenties before you can serious start thinking about turning the gun on yourself.
Nine? thats wank fodder for youtube.
you have to hand it to the Iraqi insurgents, they have anticipated such criticism and gone for the police school, two birds with one AK47 and all that.
Ooooh yes, Kat from Exeter, god forbid the UK would ever become like Finland. Y’know, Finland - that place with the best education system in the world, rated no. 1 least corrupt country on the planet, in the top 10 of best standards of living in the world, that supplies fantastic benefits for workers, one of the least sexist/prejudiced societies in the world, some of the best healthcare available anywhere, which has really high life expectancies and is one of the safest and healthiest places to give birth in the world, a global telecommunications and technology leader and one of the most technologically advanced nations on Earth, where culture and the arts are inclusive, flourishing and well-funded, and where there’s great outdoor sports which you can enjoy in Finland’s vast expanses of beautiful, untouched nature (and great air quality, etc.), which go toward, unsurprisingly, getting it usually ranked no 1 for being environmentally excellent, is a country where it’s considered bad manners to talk to strangers in public (I’m a hateful misanthrope; what can I say?) AND they have The Northern Lights (the natural phenomenon, Kat, not the book… though they have that too) AND reindeers!
What an absolute living nightmare of a place it must be - truly, we must do all we can to stop the UK ever reaching any of these impressive and enviable standards, YOU THICK, IGNORANT, AGENDA-PEDDLING CUNT.
PS I don’t work for the Finnish tourist board, nor nuffink!
Bit Special, you just brought a tear to my eye.
You should see me work my *magic* in real life…
By the above, I mean dealing with cunts. I’m not Paul ’stunted devil-midget’ Daniels.
Relax, I’m Debbie McGee.
I think we’re all agreed on what james ex-pat was really typing:
Disturbing man, very, very disturbing.
Riiiight. A bit like the UK then….
AAAaarrghhhhh…this can only mean one thing; some deranged merkin nutter is going to come over here and guncrime the whole of the British (not English) isles because we haven’t got guns and insist on using Celsius.
I can see the credit crunch driving our James a bit postal if it gets any worse.
There will be endless merkins lubing their many firearms as we speak.
Relax, they don’t have passports.
Like Deepcut… Students jump the mass killings and just shoot themselfs.
Also, Dosen’t Finland have VERY high alcohol duty? Work of the devil I tell you! The place is evil. Or that could be Norway.
Ooh I can’t wait for Knifecrimer of the Year.
James ex pat should’ve saved us all a few minutes and just written ‘I have more guns than I do friends.’
*snigger*
Relax, I’m really childish.
This reminded me of something. You know the song “I can see for miles” by The Who? Occasionally the tune pops into my head but with the lyric, “I can see your sister’s piles, I can see your sister’s piles. I can see her piles and piles and piles and piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiles!”
The world of haemorrhoid cream advertising lost its brightest hope when I decided to take this career as an interweb moron baiter.
Could that be why James is lubing up his gun? To take potshots at his arse grapes?
Guns don’t kill people… I do.
yeah but James only has a .22 gun, any serious surgeon would laugh at him trying to blow away an arse grape with that.
mind you he has a good get out claus for lubing his barrel now, ” well doctor, I was lubing up my barrel as I was going to blow away some arse grapes with it, and I fell over and the barrel went straight up my arse, i mean what are the chances of that? anyway as I am so massively anally retentive, its managed to get stuck, could you pull it out for me, preferrably not by the trigger”
anyway, whens knifecrimer of the year on? It should be the new sports personality of the year i think.
Chuck Norris is a rapper?
Kurt, I completely agree with you. Today’s young gun-addicts are clearly failing to rise to the challenges presented by the more serious targets readily available such as police stations or annual party conferences. I think it’s a worrying reflection of current mores that we no longer produce youngsters of sufficient derring-do to go face-to-face against the armed resistance of trained strangers. Sadly, instead, they seem to prefer to stalk the familiar corridors of their own school, targeting the unarmed teachers who they perceive as the engineers of their misery; blasting away their fellow students who refused to see the inner beauty of their troubled, lonely soul; revelling in that short moment of total nihilistic power over their miserable, confused world. Pathetic. It would be so much easier for everyone if they would take the more positive step of charging CIA Headquarters or the NYPD.
So, if we have to accept they will take the cowardly option of attacking their school, then your suggestion of arming academic institutions makes a lot of sense. But I’m a little concerned it would lead to an ‘arms race’ between the attacker and the attackee. Would supplying Mr Griffiths from 3B with a .22 cal not encourage our next generation of gottta-go heroes to bring more bang to the party? How long before some entrepreneurial little tyke turns up to school in a Sherman tank bought from the Ebay? Should we ‘jump the gun’, literally, and issue Light Armoured Vehicles to all Heads of Department? But then, deterred by the idea of French teacher, Mrs Penworthy’s easy access to the large-calibre fire-power of the splendid Saracen, might they not hijack an airliner or resort to WMD? Should schools take the ultimate precaution of a nuclear deterrent?
(though I must confess to some reluctance to allowing PE teachers access to nukes)
Would that be judged on a public phone vote, or just a last man standing contest?
A well thought out, frankly visionary comment Kurt. I wish you were my dad!
Kindergarten Cop was a perfect example example of Prof Kurt’s revolutionary teaching environment.
Oh, think of the children! THINK OF THEM!!
Oh I liked that! Not a lot….
my PE teacher used to access his weapon when we were all in the showers. imagine his suprise when someone set fire to his car one day. the paedo cunt. in this day an age he would a news of the world front pager, wonder if i can look him up on face book and fedex a turd to him.
Surely that’s the definition of happiness, being able to make a career out of a hobby. Me? MI5 pays me to write down the numbers on the front of trains. Well, it’s a living.
Relax, I’m a nuthatch.
Ah, good old HYS inconsistency. One week they’ll blether on how terrible it is that all our schoolkids are armed to the teeth with blades, next week they’re telling us that we need to arm our schoolkids with guns to protect them from their classmates.
And well done to Kat in Exeter for using mass murder to have a pop at Finlands ker-azy feminist socialist policies. Very tactful and respectful, you utter cretin.
Relax, I’m an NRA member.
And not one mention of Marilyn Manson or DOOM.
Amezin’
Yes but it’s not like getting uptight little Englanders to finger their ringpieces wasn’t also a hobby of mine too.
Relax, I only ever got them to do it in school playgrounds.
Till now..D’Oh!
did someone say they wanted a game of Network doom? just had an early nineties flashback
Feeling nostalic myself now. Got the urge to chainsaw a cacodemon’s face off…
… OLD SKOOL!
Nostalg</b<ic, obviously.
DOOM may never have turned me into a psychotic killer, but it sure plays merry hell with my spelling…
Nostalgic, obviously.
DOOM may never have turned me into a psychotic killer, but it sure plays merry hell with my spelling…
(can anyone delete that monstrosity above?)
The cacodemon? Yeah, the trick is to spot it early and use the rocket launcher from a safe distance.
rocket launchers are for pussies, James ex pat would have cut his cock off with a pocket knife.
James ex pat doesn’t neet to cut it off with a knife, because he only has a tiny cock. That’s why he needs so many guns.
This comment would have been funnier if it had been Jeremy Beadle, because then I could have made the “on the other hand” joke. Can someone convince JB to make some fuckwitted guncriming comments on HYS from beyond the grave?
Here in heaven we’ve got masses of guns, on the other hand, we don’t take guns to mass. But watch what happens now; we’ve put a splinter grenade down Gariel’s robe, just as he’s about to lead the heavenly host with a chorus of In Paradisum. He doesn’t know it, but he’s about to be blown to Kingdom Come Come.
“Gabriel!” balls!
ah yes good old beadle, maybe he shrunk his hand on purpose so he could have a wank and pretend it was a child. sort of psuedo paedo action.
America’s greatest school berserker, Andrew Kehoe, was on the school’s board of governers when he blew it up. Property taxes were raised on his farm to pay for the school and he went quietly postal. He’d spent a year or so wiring his home, the school, and his car with high-explosives, incendiaries, and ad-hoc shrapnel (nails, bolts, etc).
On the day of the attack he bashed his wife’s head in with a shovel and set fire to her, blew up his home and out-buildings, and then blew up half the school (one of his bombs failed to detonate). After the explosions at the school he suicide car-bombed the gathering crowd, bringing his score up to 45 confirmed kills.
He left a stenciled farewell note with a single chilling sentance with words to the effct, “CRIMINALS ARE DERAILED, NOT BORN”.
Wow. Thanks for lightening the mood, alt-f4.
now thats what I am talking about alt-f4, none of this pathetic nine kill business, in reality it was probably his wifes fault anyway and she deserved getting her head bashed in.
mind you, taking a year to wire that place and only 45 kills, i’m sure a few chechen sepratists could do better with a handful of AK47s and some C4
— oh i am evil, too much network doom as a child!
I’ve been to that school. It’s a monument now. One of the local cops who was involved in the battle showed me around. Two of the “chechen sepratists” were British. You don’t get to hear about them in the UK press for some reason. But they don’t really count as proper berserkers since they had a political motivation of provoking a broader war between Ingushitia and Respublika North Ossetia-Alania.
The world record spree killing, 58 confirmed kills, is still held by a Korean police officer who argued with his girlfriend one morning then decided to get drunk in the police armoury of all places. Inevitably it gave him ideas. After first shooting the operators in the local telephone exchange (to prevent any emergency calls getting through) he went from house-to-house using his police credentials to gain entry before shooting the occupants. One suspicious family was dispatched with a hand grenade through the window after refusing to let him in.
Clearly we should ban police and schools.
But at least he’s famous now, eh?
Apparently, according to the zen gurus at wikipeadophilia, at 14 y.o. he watched his hated step-mother slowly burn to death in a kitchen oil-stove accident and didn’t help to save her… I don’t know about criminals, but sociopaths… maybe they are born, not made, afterall.
must have been one hell of a big kitchen stove for the stepmother to fit in
The mad thing about about that story is the fact that while Kehoe was blaming the tax for the school etc for his financial ruin, investigators found that he had more than enough machinery and unused farm supplies to clear his debt to the bank.
Dozy twat.
I agree with Neko @ comment No.1. This guy is just itching for an excuse to lose it. And when he does we’ll be able to say, “Look! look! look! look! look! We spotted him first.” Excellent, we’ll be cool and dangerously cutting edge.
And the CIA will have to waterboard Nelson for having Marylin Manson MP3 downloads and a subversive website.
It was an Arrrrghga!
Ba Boom Ching!
Dan, that really is desperate
what wasnt mentioned was the stepmother incident was actually her using kitchen stove oil to lube her self upfor some self fisting accident, the mistake came doing it by candle light! the 14 yr old was wanking himself into a comma and didn’t bother to stop to put out her flaming minge. (ok i can’t really back that up, but since its now written on the interweb it must be true)
*self fisting action
self-fisting.
will have to give that a try.
Probably on loan from the same company that supplied the witch’s kitchen off of Hansel and Gretel.
I tried wanking myself into a comma once but I had to come to a full stop when I had trouble with my colon…
I am always having self fisting accidents.I really should start preparing for them.But not by a stove.
yeah yeah yeah rip my posts to bits, I don’t care, we’ll all be knifecrimed by next tuesday anyway.
Best thing to do is stop when you get to a semi.
Before in ends in c-apostrophe?
Sorry. I felt the need to make some exclamation…
RElax, I’m Richard Stilgoe…
She fisted her colon while he wanked himself into a comma?
That kind of persversion deserves a long sentence.
We can’t help it Fucko - we’re all grammar school boys!
fucksox
come on Nelson’s brother, post a new thread, take the heat off my half arsed post, I feel like a sperm whales socket.
out of interest, is a female sperm whale called a minge whale?
We can’t help it Fucko - we’re all grammar school boys
Yep, well educated but with an excessive interest in sex, other boys, and the attentions of PE & Geography teachers!
And surely a female Sperm Whale will be an Egg Whale, or possibly a dirty fat tart who just luuuuurves it when you take her hard at 500 fathoms
Never mind fucko - this bloke’s grammar, spelling and sentence structure are much worse than yours and he’s got a Photography degree!
And how can you be proud of a degree in photography? All you have to do is point the right end at something and push a fucking button… There obviously wasn’t a written exam involved judging by this guy’s grasp of english.
But you’ve got to admire the tenacity of someone who can shoehorn paedophiles and “the War” in to post on a debate about whether disturbing images on cigarette packets will encourage people to give up smoking!
And if he likes Chinnoble so much why doesn’t he fuck off and photograph the place?
WILL NO-ONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN AND THEIR CRUILTY???!!!111!!
Oh. You’ve met my ex then?
Fucking photography degree?
Badgers beef pocket!
There’s obviously no written exam.
Up the grammar boys!! Well, theat’s what our P.E. teacher used to sing as he escorted us to the showers.
Relax, he was gentle.
theat?
Did he end his rant, and then list his interests before his name?
quick i’ve found one, burn him, burn him now and those damn Paedatricians, always hanging around children.
someone needs to tell those damn PE teachers, shower gel isn’t an acceptable lubricant.
Better than no lubricant.
That was our school motto.
Terminal Fanny-Twatitis?
Will those fucking re-runs of Sex and the City never FUCKING END???!!!
WILL NO ONE THINK OF THE ALGAE???!!!!!!
I am so impressed by ‘phycolicaly’ that I have actually jotted it down, lest I ever forget its awesome power of thicktwatness. That would be pronounced ficollycally, phonetically. I presume he means ‘psychologically’… where is the ‘g’ sound, you complete turd? WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE?!!!ONE!!!
I’d admit to being a pedant, but I don’t want a braying mob of knuckle-dragging illiterates to storm round mine (again).
HeyaaayayeheeyehyeyEY-EY-HEY!!! What’s this about school kids making a clown’s life hell? You lousy little cockroaches. Clowns are SPECIAL, d’y hear? Fucko’s one of the best. After me, I never saw no-one take a pie like Fucko. Don’t make me come down there.
Oh God… Oh God, please no.
Cameruin???
Oh The Horror!!! The Horror!!!
On that guy from Cameroon’s speech…
Scrap Human Rights, Europe and fucking Media Studies, NOW!!!!
Last one from me… Mike “Kilo” (???) shares his insights on the GLOBAL economy with his curious ‘it fine, but it isn’t’ bragg of his Florida lifestyle. Yeah, whatever Mike, you live in Milton Keynes, you Vole Vulva.
I think London Banker’s finger slipped and pressed ‘B’ instead of ‘W’.
I’d love to know what his English (sorry, ENGLISH) referendum on Scotland would entail. Probably it ends with Alex Salmond getting sent a letter reading
“DeAR SCOtLanD (not UK)
WE DuN’T waNT Too hav U in the UNOIN anymore. FUk OFF and tak e gordon CLOWN and teh SCOTTISH MAFAI witH yOu.
YouRS tRuly
ENGLAND (not UK)”
And then, presumably, Ingerlund (not UK) would have squllions of moneys to spend on themselves and not to buy Scottish people free prescriptions and haggis and Irn Bru and whatever else I’m allegedly sponging off English (not UK) taxpayers.
Relax, I’m wearing a kilt.
Surely the ‘why don’t you go live n Russia’ line hasn’t really worked on us Trots since it became a capitalist dictatorship.
“Well I prefer an InExperienced PM than the current Experience under our current PM.”
Time for my ill-formed opinion to be spouted onto the world.
“We need to reduce Taxation”
We need to reduce Taxation for the rich bankers like me who aren’t going to get our bonuses this year, which is like, so unfair what with us having almost nothing to do with the current, erm, banking crisis.
“We need to scrap Lisbon Treaty”
I hate European forruns
“We need to Re Arm ready for the Muslim onslaught”
What I hate more than European forruns are forruns who don’t have the decency to be God Fearing Christian forruns
“We need to reduce Immigration”
But essentially I hate everyone who is forrun
“We need Law and PUNISHMENT”
For forruns, and peedos and scum, not for white collar crime, like bring down banks and stuff ‘cos that would be silly. And I might get nicked.
“We need the Death Penalty”
For forruns, peedos and the like. ‘Cos hanging’s too good for them.
We DONT NEED EUROPE OR THE EURO
Did I mention my irrational hatred of the Europeans yet? I did? Just making sure my point got across.
“We need Proper Education (3 R’s + History not Media Studies)”
If we teach history, we can the youth of today how we’re still a great nation because we were once great. And clearly I need some of the 3Rs looking at the shit I’ve just typed.
“We need to scrap Human Rights Act”
Because once I rule the UK the pandering to human rights of forruns, and peedos and scum will not matter because we’ll kill them all
“We need a ENGLISH Referendum on Scotland”
I even think of the Scots as forrun, and hate them for occupying part of our land so will disown the land they have defiled rather than talk to them.
“We need it now, Long live England”
Masturbates furiously to God Save The Queen
“London Banker, London”
I live alone and wank to the daily mail every night. I don’t know why I live alone, but I’m a very nice person really, once you get past the rabid xenophobia, the frothing irrational hatred of everything I don’t understand, my narrow-minded belief that everything I read in the Mail is true and the FACT I am the most obnoxious CUNT this side of Andromeda Galaxy
Sorry about the length of that.
Not a sentence I get to use often.
Or, in fact, ever.
“Far-Q
Sorry about the length of that.
Not a sentence I get to use often.
Or, in fact, ever.”
I presume that you also include never having to apologise for it lacking in length either then?
Congratulations on having an average sized cock.
blimey is this turning into an amature cottaging site.
i feel i’ve missed out. i had a grammar school education and i didn’t witness any paedononcery or homosexual behaviour in the 6 years i was there.
the closest we came was our biology teacher’s wife leaving him for another woman.
I presume by amature you are mean a- as a prefix meaning ‘lacking in, lack of’ resulting in ‘an immature cottaging site’.
Immature children cottaging?
Goddamn peedos.
Unless of course you mean ‘amateur cottaging’ in which case I will I take even greater offence, as there is no way anyone could describe me as an amateur cottager.
Just so you know, I had a state education and saw a bit of gayness and paedononcery in my time.
wot, no grrrls?
you get a better class of buggery in the private school system, i’ve heard
All PE teachers are gay, that’s just a pure fact.
One of our’s actually was and had been throwing teenage girls in the shower for years before she had to admit it in front of the whole school.
That was a good day.
I read it as a pismelling of “armature cottaging”, although quite what that’s supposed to mean has me stumped. Some sort of bizarroid “tetsuo-style” electromechanical fetish, I guess.
Relax. I’m drunk.
@ Far-Q… flawless HTML work, very impressive.
LEARN PEOPLE!!!
The default state of SYB late-thread posting does seem to be gay-sex smut and peedo rudery. Is this the benefit of a priviledged education?
That’s not the benefit of a privileged education, it’s the definition of a privileged education.
If it is, you as an un-peedo’d product of the state system, would not understand.
It is only through peedo-antics that this great country can maintain it’s grammar/private school system (and Conservative Party) and display to the world same.
Who needs girls when you can paint your nails and sit on your hand ’til it goes numb?
Or have your fag do it!
Relax, people. The global economy’s working fine. Mike’s looked into it for us, we’re OK. Phew! I thought we were in trouble, but now I’m going to take out that unsecured loan for a holiday.
I know I’m a bit late on this, but how about this one from the CBeebies website message boards (don’t ask):
Feonsay…it never gets old
I regularly summer at Mt. Feonsay. They make a simply exquisite golden rum there.
well bye.
It just took me five minutes of saying ‘feonsay’ out loud to figure out what she was trying to communicate.
millie - by definition ANYONE who went to grammar school is in fact “a girl” regardless of whether they have a winky in their underpants or not.
Big, blazer-wearing, gay-boy, noncy jessies the lot of them.
Not like us hard comprehensive chav scum.
Now give us yer dinner money before I knifecrime yer!!!
poor Steven must be wondering what the fuck is he doing intending to marry that indescribable mess of grammer, spelling and fuck-wittery
i also had trouble working out what the fuck feonsay meant.
oh well, at least it can operate teh internets…
Do you mean lunch money, chav?
I thought she’d slipped in an Oirish name for a minute but eventually realised she’d actually slipped into Phonetic.
I googled feonsay to see if it would return the old ‘Did you mean Fiancee’ but got the above as the first entry and pages of similar entries.
I’m off to cackle at idiots, I may be some time.
I’ll be interested to see how Charlie Gere reacts to that call.
I *heart* this website. I’m just not sharp enough to comment often but, fuck, it’s makes me weep with merriment.
Relax, I passed my eleven plus
Dinner money? How very provincial.
Is this for real?
Googling feoncay produces a never ending stream of hilarity. Although it’s slightly worrying that this person is thinking of reproducing
Dear Sir’s,
As the product of a good Church State school I am incensed at your insinuation that only private schools have good peedos. I find this situation deeply worrying and the work of left wing Eurocrats. I demand you do something about this now!
Col. Steve Steveson. England (not UK)
Lucie, I assure you that you don’t need to be sharp, just be able to talk crap for England (not UK). Unless you want to knifecrime someone.
Googling ‘feonsay’ is one of the scariest things I have ever done. I will never sleep peacefully again.
I would rather the world were invaded by killer-aliens or that mutant zombies rose from the grave than spend another day knowing that I am surrounded by shuffling, slack-jawed, vacant-eyed humans drifting through the world muttering “Nooo Braaaaaaaaaaane”
There is only one possible conclusion: they must all die.
(Can anybody advise me on a suitable gun/bullet combination for an extended shooting spree in an urban environment, probably a shopping mall?)
Dear Col. Steve
I understand your concerns about sub-standard peedo’s at Church State schools, believe me.
I was speaking with some young chavs just the other day who were explaining to me, between mouthfuls of fried chicken and alcopops, that one of their teachers was recently interfering with them at the back end and did not have the decency to give the lad a reach-a-round. Needless to say I will be taking this matter with the Headpeedomaster.
On the other hand, as you are a compo-thickie, I would appreciate if you could keep your mindless ranting to yourself and let your betters get on with building a happier Britain (not UK).
BANK!!
Yours etc
David Cameruin.
Hmm. I think we’ve found one of those people who failed both Maths and English at GCSE.
@Dingleberry, Might I recommend a P22, rifle ammo, and hollow points? Just don’t forget to Lube it.
grammar/public school paedononces are clearly better than church ones as it’s only the church ones what get caught.
relax, as an altarboy the only way i can reach those high notes is if you squeeze my testicles
Surely a .22 is just a toy? Won’t people laugh at me if I’m waving my litlle .22 around? Will they take me seriously?
I’m not sure I am a good enough marksmen to rely on headshots. Will a .22 take someone down without headshots?
Having read it twice, it’s accelerating round my brain at increasing speed, like a Large Idiot Collider. Is Pat Sheppard simply introducing the remainder of the comment with the “stupid” remark? If so, then they may have a point. Why has Kev from London entered so freely into the Christmas spirit soon? Is it a comment, or just the worst Christmas carol ever?
Bad filthy teeth, in your bed
Sorry, nothing to with feonsays.
well bye.
O just another bland polished face,
and clean teeth appear with my wife happy,
family spin merchant
bleesings and greetings, my satire masters.
getting long, this thread is. Replace you should… hhhmmmm.
Only middle-class peedo willy-woofters have lunch!!!
“Oh! I say! It must be time for “lunch” Desperate old bean. And it hardly seems 5 minutes since we had tiffin…”
What a bunch of sweaty vicar’s cock-bollocks.
Out here in the knifecriming-twoccing-hoodie-REAL-world we have:
breakfast
dinner
tea
supper
in THAT order!!!1!!
FACT!!!11!!ONE!!
END OF!!!!1!ELEVENTY-ONE!!!
but tea’s a drink with jam and bread
I think you’ll find that in the knifecriming-twoccing-hoodie-REAL-world we have
Snacks
Snacks
Chips
Snacks
Snacks
Fish ‘n’ Chips or Chinese Takeaway
Snacks
Beer and snacks
(Isn’t ’snacks’ a weird word if you say it too often?)
Snacks!
Snacks…
Snacks?
WHAT.
THE.
FUCK???
And is “slapping box” a sexual act?
“l8erz”
Spunkbucket.
There is absolutely nothing I can say that could do justice to that.
sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!!! Sweet holy Christ! That is some serious skanky messed-up underclass stuff. Remind me not to go to Clinton County for my Holiday next year.
That’s the textual equivalent of a snuff movie. Yeesh I need a wash. What God forsaken crevice of the net did you peel that from, Dr Shade???
Poor bloody cow… poor bloody kids!!! What a mess!
Googling ‘Feonsay’…
We’re through the looking glass here, people! (Don’t you wish you’d just taken the blue pill instead?)
It’s the search that never stops giving:
What I want to know is, have they ACTUALLY spelt the kid’s name ‘Rylee’?? Nice. I have an American friend who’s a teacher and once taught a little girl whose name was Assholey - her parents thought that was how Ashley was spelt.
I also like the way he’s discussing his feonsay’s menstrual cycle completely randomly… even though it took me fully five mins to work out what ‘ant flow sins’ meant!
PS I went to a crap comprehensive and the PE teachers were all peed0z - gay, lesbian and hetero. No wonder today’s kids are so sexually precocious; cos of the current furore over paedos, they’ve not been scarred mentally by tracksuited pervs and therefore not been sufficiently stunted. If it was good enough in my day to have to play netball whilst male PE bastards stood around smoking and making comments within earshot about what they’d like to do to who, then it’s good enough for ‘da yoof ov 2day’.
On the B&B bailout…
[Anglobert], Surrey, United Kingdom
WTF on so many levels.
Dear God, please be a piss take.
Phonetic googles. Welcome to a world you hoped you didn’t exist.
Just look at his picture. (see if this works?)
You think that’s his, ‘feoncay’ in the picture?
Apologies for that extraneous comma. Damn peedoh teachers never taught me punctuation.
There’s more, you can also Google ‘fiansay’ -
Where’s all the gay smut tonight? Fuck this, I’m off to the heath.
The gay P.E teacher’s mafia is still at large.
My son is 15 and at grammar school. His female P.E teacher is banned from the girls changing rooms.
Apparently the P.E teacher’s partner (or maybe gay fionsay?) shares a name with the netball club captain. Lets call her “Chelsea”.
One day the P.E teacher composed a loving but saucy text message to her beloved,
but accidentally sent it to the 14 year old netball captain instead..
Anyway, thats the story shes sticking to.
14 yr old Chelsea? Sounds familiar…
OMG! Like, those ‘feoncay’ peple are like sooooooooooo thik Hahahahah! I’m onle 14 but like WTF yeah? Didunt they go to skool or nuffin oh my god thats just so like loooooooseers yeah?
I do not exaggerate when I say a tiny bit of wee escaped when I read that.
Relax, I’m wearing Tena Lady
innit tho?
And fionsay….
Future HYS poster:
From Met Chief Blair resigns
Do you think he knows Gene hunt is fictitious?
45 people thought this monosyllabic tw@t was worth recommending.
Was it the only post they could understand, what with it only having a single word even they could get their heads round and wasn’t in anyway ambivalent?
One for the Moderation martyrs:
I’ve got RSI from scrolling down 8 miles of screen to read this thread each time. Is Nelson still in hiding?
we need a new thread or I might actually have to do some work!!!
Relax, it’s Friday.
What is this ‘work’ of which you speak?
And how do you ‘do’ it?
Maybe he got sacked before she could finish the sentance.
@Alt-F4
“PHEONSAY”
Ooooh, get her, posh cow with her fancy french spelling.
Any guesses as to the price of low-cost home for a family of five?
And who wants to bet it doesn’t have wheels?
This is glorious. Yet I am torn between sheer delight and an urge to hunt these people down and kill them like the mangy rabid animals they are. The youth of today, as my mother would say.
Just remember to save the last bullet for yourself and to set up a few clips of you posing with your gun on YouTube first.
“Harion adickt” Now I know why the term ’smack-head’ is more often used. I find many of these read even better if you play Eminem’s Stan in your head whilst reading…
I’ve so far resisted the temptation to google it, but I just know there are some poor kids out there named Beonsay.
WON’T SUMWON THINK OF THE CHILDRENS!!!!
(apart from evil peedo wolves, obviously)
Come on Nelson! We can find our own fools to laugh at, but we need your l33t web skilz to give us a new topic to post under.
Don’t worry Desparate Dan my Walther PPKS is primed and ready to go. My video will consist of me drinking a lovely cup of tea in my finest china whilst listening to something middle of the road, maybe james blunt, maybe that way the powers that be, or some bored house wives will call for a ban on the blunt, and tea, but the latter is just for the hell of it, I love tea.
@scaremong
why not be a bit more proactive, man?…shoot the blunt.
You’ll be an immortal superhero! You’ll probably get the ban on hand guns lifted if you do that.
Damn it Dan I will do it, you heard it here first. Although I am pretty lazy. While I embark on my new purpose in life I am willing to take requests. Maybe we could organise a HYS conference, get them all in one place and BOOM. I needed to get a word in that was all uppercase. Oh and at primary school I once saw my PE teachers testicle…
I luuuuuuu-u-u-u-u-urve the idea of going postal and blaming it on the pernicious influence of coventional mainstream culture. It appeals to my sense of whimsy.
Terry Wogan MADE me do it!!!
I love whimsy, in my opinion that word doesn’t get used nearly enough.
If were blaming Terry Wogan lets chuck Ken Bruce into the mix, or are they the same person?
Those people that try to give me a free paper near the tube made me do it. But I actually think they might…
People who work in political think-tanks clearly have brains far in advance of the rest of us.
I like to lube it, lube it
I like to lube it, lube it
I like to lube it, lube it
You like to…..
So here’s a beonsay for you: http://www.faceparty.com/beonsay
Mostly bog-standard bad spelling, but I thought it was worth a mention for:
“PLEASE WARN ME IF YOUR SLIGHTLY STRANGE?”
I couldn’t help it. This has to be a piss take; they get double points for shoe-horning in both feonsay and beonsay.
No it’s not, it’s f@cking right-wing thicko gibberish.
The difference being?
Palin was on form last night. Once more she refused to blame all man activity of man on climate change. She also cited passing budgets she agreed with as her main weakness. And referred to Senator O’Biden. Doggone it.
Should caning be reintroduced?
I too was regularly caned at school, or mashed as we called it in the eighties.
There English is be shocking as well.
f@cking href html tags
I was regualarly caned at s