Delusions of Grandeur and Self-appointed Sages07 Oct 2008 12:11 pm
By Nelson

Can action by EU states ease the credit crisis?

The poor, in financial crisis is better of dead but for the rich, there’s always a bail-out.

Injustice or way of life? Who dares question?

Game of mind or game of death?

“Eyes Wide Shut”.

The zeitgeist goes on.

[Funitikus], London, United Kingdom

You’ll need some pretty impressive public liability insurance if you carry on blowing people’s minds like that.

44 Responses to “Who Dares? This Prat Does”

  1. on 07 Oct 2008 at 12:14 pm Buzz Killington

    It’s good to have people in the know to look up to.

    Wink.

  2. on 07 Oct 2008 at 12:21 pm Peedo stalker Sam

    It’s almost like someone who talks in their sleep, except he’s actually typing it out on a keyboard.

    Maybe he left his computer on with speech recognition or something…

  3. on 07 Oct 2008 at 12:35 pm expectant millie

    I think it’s just a list of titles. Prof. Funitikus is teasing us, one by one he’ll post his insightful essays and THEN we’ll all be blown away.

    *Double wink.*

  4. on 07 Oct 2008 at 12:35 pm Throbbe

    Sounds like another candidate for a reggae number to me.

  5. on 07 Oct 2008 at 12:37 pm Kelvin

    Given that “zeitgeist” literally means “the spirit of the (present) time” how could it do anything other than go on?

  6. on 07 Oct 2008 at 12:38 pm Rotwatcher

    Nah, it’s all lifted wholesale from the poster blurbs to Stanley Kubrick’s last film. Shame he missed the opportunity to capitalise Zeitgeist.

  7. on 07 Oct 2008 at 12:40 pm Disgustipated

    The poor, in financial crisis is better of dead

    Truly, your compassion knows no boundries Funitikus.

    Kneel all, to the new messiah.

    Then fuck him up with a big stick, the malodourous dingo minge.

  8. on 07 Oct 2008 at 12:43 pm Col John Matrix

    “Game of mind or game of death?”

    I think he’s actually lifted that from a tagline to a Steven Seagal movie.

  9. on 07 Oct 2008 at 12:56 pm F. Funitikus (poet NOT prof)

    The Zeitgeist Goes On & On

    Who can tell
    when death will come
    it targets rich & poor.

    But a fate far worse
    than death I fear is when
    poverty taps on your door.

    It’s all za clowning
    nuliar bore’s fault,
    robbing us poor
    to pay the rich,

    no minor glitch
    this credit crunch -
    it a major fucking furor.

  10. on 07 Oct 2008 at 12:58 pm Buzz Killington

    I bet he posted that, gave himself a pat on the back for being an A1 genius and then had a self-congratulatory wank.

    He’s probably one of those merchant bankers we’ve been hearing so much about.

  11. on 07 Oct 2008 at 1:04 pm kalafudra

    This sounds like a Japanese poem, translated by babelfish (altavista not Adams).

  12. on 07 Oct 2008 at 1:16 pm AsBo BaZ

    Injustice or way of life? Who dares question?

    IS THIS REHTORICAL??!!

    *Wink, nudge, boomps-a-daisy*

  13. on 07 Oct 2008 at 1:20 pm F. Funitikus (poet NOT banker)

    I bet he posted that, gave himself a pat on the back for being an A1 genius and then had a self-congratulatory wank.

    Almost right, except the last bit. Paid the hired help a tenner to do it for me.

    He’s probably one of those merchant bankers we’ve been hearing so much about.

    Untrue. See above.

  14. on 07 Oct 2008 at 1:21 pm Peedo stalker Sam

    Not so much “Funitikus” as “Fukinitup”

  15. on 07 Oct 2008 at 1:57 pm Mr Cat

    Someone call Mervyn King – he needs to see this. It could solve EVERYTHING.

  16. on 07 Oct 2008 at 1:59 pm aSbo bAz

    “Eyes Wide Shut”

    Or

    How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Credit Crunch.

  17. on 07 Oct 2008 at 2:17 pm Rich(MMath)(Oxon)(Hons)

    Injustice or way of life? Who dares question?

    The bbc.

  18. on 07 Oct 2008 at 2:22 pm AsBo bAz

    I think you mean The e(not b)bc

  19. on 07 Oct 2008 at 2:29 pm AsBo bAz

    Game of mind or game of death?

    Ummm… Game of death please.

  20. on 07 Oct 2008 at 2:34 pm Rich (MMath)

    I bet he first wrote “Game of life or game of death?”, but had to change it before he got sued by Hasbro.

  21. on 07 Oct 2008 at 2:37 pm Mr Cat

    Ummm… Game of death please.

    I prefer the Big Boss – a much underrated debut from Bruce Lee.

  22. on 07 Oct 2008 at 2:39 pm AndyS

    game of death? pah

    cake or death

  23. on 07 Oct 2008 at 3:05 pm Far-Q

    Who dares question?

    Is this the name of the SAS quiz team?

  24. on 07 Oct 2008 at 3:07 pm Mal

    Cake or death? Ummm, that’s a toughie. I’ll go for cake.

    Now, here’s another one. Daddy or chips?

  25. on 07 Oct 2008 at 3:09 pm AndyS

    are you sure? i’ve only got a little bit of cake left – everyone’s given that answer so far..

    i need to watch that again.

  26. on 07 Oct 2008 at 3:10 pm shoelace & the wailers

    Sounds like another candidate for a reggae number to me.

    I for one cannot wait for his prog/reggae fusion hybrid collaboration with Music2Years.

    “Wink”.

  27. on 07 Oct 2008 at 3:14 pm sad millie

    Daddy or chips?

    Funny you should say that. I was asked that very same question as a four year old. Haven’t seen my father since.

  28. on 07 Oct 2008 at 3:18 pm Spunk daddy

    Hey Millie, don’t be sad. I’ll be your daddy.

  29. on 07 Oct 2008 at 3:20 pm Far-Q

    Daddy or chips?

    Nah,

    ‘Hello little boy’
    said the peedo with chips?

  30. on 07 Oct 2008 at 3:33 pm Peedo stalker Sam

    By invoking the film “Eyes Wide Shut”, is Fukinitup trying to state that the credit crunch is as bad as sitting through that toss film and hoping that Nicole Kidman was going to get her bazungas out, only to be faced with the most fucking puerile and dull piece of bollocks film-making since the last Conservative party political broadcast?

    Because I think that’s just incorrect.

  31. on 07 Oct 2008 at 4:18 pm alt-f4

    Given that “zeitgeist” literally means “the spirit of the (present) time” how could it do anything other than go on?

    That was my first reaction as well. Still, there’s always this:

    The poor, in financial crisis are better off dead

    The poor are always in financial crisis. That’s what being poor is all about.

  32. on 07 Oct 2008 at 4:28 pm millie munroe

    Hey Millie, don’t be sad. I’ll be your daddy.

    Hey Spunk daddy, that’s really sweet of you.

    I have a slot free Fridays at 4pm if that’s any good for you. It’s between £350 & £500 an hour, depending what you’re after. Just have a word with Funitikus, he keeps my diary.

  33. on 07 Oct 2008 at 4:45 pm Alex

    “Spunk Daddy”. Brilliant. So much snappier than “biological father”.

  34. on 07 Oct 2008 at 5:00 pm Dr Shade

    The poor, in financial crisis is better of(f) dead

    Are you sure Funitikus?

    Because I can think of a few hundred thousand dead Rwandans who would happily change places with the alcopop swilling, Sky+ watching, Burberry-&-hoodie-wearing, knifecriming feral scum living in the poverty trap of my local sink estate.

  35. on 07 Oct 2008 at 5:00 pm Spunk Daddy

    Hey Spunk daddy, that’s really sweet of you.

    I have a slot free Fridays at 4pm if that’s any good for you. It’s between £350 & £500 an hour, depending what you’re after. Just have a word with Funitikus, he keeps my diary.

    To be honest, things are a bit tight (WEY-HEY-HEY!), so I might have to negotiate you down to a fiver for a bit of ankle and a bacon buttie.

  36. on 07 Oct 2008 at 5:00 pm Rod Wrongnob

    At first reading I thought the dippy pothead’s name was “Funtikus”.

    This is my new favourite word.

  37. on 07 Oct 2008 at 5:14 pm Dr Shade

    At first reading I thought the dippy pothead’s name was “Funtikus”

    If you rearrange the letters anagramatically you can make “Fuckin Suit”

    Unfortunately, no matter how hard I try I can’t use the same letters to make an anagram of “Camel’s Menstrual Discharge” which is a pity as he obviously is one.

  38. on 07 Oct 2008 at 5:14 pm Peedo Stalker Sam

    Are you sure Funitikus?

    Because I can think of a few hundred thousand dead Rwandans who would happily change places with the alcopop swilling, Sky+ watching, Burberry-&-hoodie-wearing, knifecriming feral scum living in the poverty trap of my local sink estate.

    Yeah, but then that would open the floodgates for all the tribal nignogs to start coming into the country, taking all our jobs, and trying to undercut all our Great British workers with their zombie salaries, eating honest white men and claiming undead rights. THinK of thE ChilDRen!!FF

    (But not too hard, else you’re a peedo).

  39. on 07 Oct 2008 at 5:32 pm Issa

    If there isn’t a spEak You’re bRanes equivalent to Pseud’s Corner, we need one now.

  40. on 07 Oct 2008 at 7:02 pm Far-Q

    Don’t know about that, but I want whatever Funkitis is on. If it can make you that fucked up it can only be the Goooood shit.

  41. on 08 Oct 2008 at 8:52 am double entry millie

    Hi Spunk Daddy, if you’re talking about a proper bacon butty and not some kind of smutty butty, will do you one for free.

    Relax, I’m an accountant.

  42. on 08 Oct 2008 at 10:11 am Rich(MMath)(Oxon)

    I’m awaiting the HYS “credit crunch poetry corner” with baited breath:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7655584.stm

  43. on 08 Oct 2008 at 10:20 am Joe

    Back to the credit crisis – this is the response to the governments £50 billion bail out

    “its time the UK had a mass clearout, all the illegal pakistanis, should be forcibly removed to container ships and shipped back via cheap shipping at minimal cost to the taxpayer, our borders should now be closed and any illegal caught should be imprisoned until forcibly removed.

    unhappy citizen, United Kingdom ”

    Why didn’t Darling just say that?

  44. on 08 Oct 2008 at 12:02 pm bigruss

    At last the voice of reason. i think however we should skip the container thing and send them straight to the shower block.

    relax – i’m a catholic priest in the 1940′s