Armchair Generals and The Regular Twats and Werthers Original Imperialists10 Oct 2008 04:15 pm
By Kelvin

We haven’t checked in on Topsy Turvy for a while. Let’s see if the scrofulous bellend has mellowed.

Should religious jewellery be allowed in school?

Let her wear her bangle and trinkets, then make her do PE using equipment that involves serious risk of de-gloving.

See how long she insists she “must keep it on because of her faith” then.
Topsy Turvy, England, United Kingdom

Yeah! And then when she goes to lunch, grind up dogshit and mix it into her food and then wait until she takes a bite and say “hey you just ate dogshit, stupid!” See how long she insists on not eating dogshit then!

Would you take up an army bursary? Remember, Topsy claims to be gay and therefore ineligible for military service.

The army is simply interested in attracting highly skilled people to man its next generation of complex defence systems. Such bursaries are the most logical way of doing so. The Royal Navy have run similar schemes for many years, as have the RAF.

I am disgusted by all the gutless wonders on here who stupidly see this as a “bribe” and “desperation to recruit” on the army’s part.

It’s amazing how many people enjoy freedom but aren’t willing to fight for it. Cowards. All of you.
Topsy Turvy, England, United Kingdom

You tell ‘em, Wing Commander Turvy, bravely piloting your armchair into the thick of the battle. Those foreign combatants won’t know what hit them. Mostly because it will be not you.

Is the US-UK relationship still relevant?

“Lets get this straight and clear – the US/uk warlords DO NOT have the support of the British people whatsoever, nor that of over half the US. Given that there is nothing we can do to stop this obscenity however all we can do is reitterate “NOT IN MY NAME”.
james Taylor

You do not speak for me, so such a sweeping generalisation is blatantly not true.

Still, PC-lefty types always believe that their way is the only way and everyone else must be wrong.
Topsy Turvy, England, United Kingdom

Let’s just sit in silence for a moment and contemplate the zen-like perfection of that statement.

57 Responses to “De-gloving”

  1. on 10 Oct 2008 at 4:15 pm Nelson

    This’ll shift em.

  2. on 10 Oct 2008 at 4:24 pm alt-f4

    It’s amazing how many people enjoy freedom but aren’t willing to fight for it. Cowards. All of you.

    Yeah cowards ALL of you. Except for those of you who are prepared to fight; you are TERRORIST SCUM.

  3. on 10 Oct 2008 at 4:34 pm Col. Richard Hindrance (Mrs)

    Well, the results are back and…yes, it would appear that TT is still a bellend of considerable magnitude.

  4. on 10 Oct 2008 at 4:37 pm PC-lefty type

    My way is the only way and everybody else is wrong.

  5. on 10 Oct 2008 at 4:38 pm Mr Cat

    Annoyed that Topsy didn’t write a poem yesterday.

  6. on 10 Oct 2008 at 4:38 pm Rof Wrongnob

    Let her wear her bangle and trinkets, then make her do PE using equipment that involves serious risk of de-gloving.

    Oh, what a laugh! Let’s coerce her into mutilating herself. That would be hilarious!

    Nasty little twat. RES IPSET LOQUITUR.

  7. on 10 Oct 2008 at 4:41 pm Em

    I’m too lazy to check (and a bit scared of what google might show me if I did), but didn’t the army eventually decide gays were basically women and let them in the proverbial ‘back door’ sometime back when I was still in school?

  8. on 10 Oct 2008 at 4:43 pm Alex

    Let her wear her bangle and trinkets, then make her do PE using equipment that involves serious risk of de-gloving.

    Yeah, let’s force our children into activities that carry the serious risk of injury. It’s clear she needs to be punished for her swarthy beliefs, and the only workable solutions for anything involve child-coercion.

    Though while we’re at it, let’s make Topsy Turvy do PE using equipment that involves serious risk of electric-drill skull-impalement.

  9. on 10 Oct 2008 at 4:44 pm Roscoe

    Let’s all encourage Topsy Turvey to wear more jewellery as well, particularly a sturdy necklace in the hope that one day, as he struggles out of the bunk-bed that he undoubtedly still sleeps in at his mother’s house, he accidentally hangs himself. Better still, it would probably be reported as a fatal wanking accident.

  10. on 10 Oct 2008 at 4:44 pm Buzz Killington

    Res ipsa loquitur?

    I’d love to go out for a few beers with TT and listen to his opinions all night. Then kick his head in.

  11. on 10 Oct 2008 at 4:46 pm Petpete

    I don’t completely understand the nature of ‘de-gloving’ or what it actually means, but i’m pretty sure it’s the kind of thing my old P.E. teacher did to me regardless of whether I wore my trinkets or not.
    That said, i was steadfast in my refusal to remove my trinkets, so found myself being ‘de-gloved’ on a regular basis.

  12. on 10 Oct 2008 at 4:52 pm Mr Cat

    as he struggles out of the bunk-bed that he undoubtedly still sleeps in at his mother’s house

    I feel we are painting a picture of his life here. I see Topsy as Ronnie Corbett in the apalling sitcom “Sorry”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHNa1k0DMj4

  13. on 10 Oct 2008 at 4:54 pm bigruss

    what a truly horrible little turd.

    lol at topsy accusing people of making sweeping generalistions.

  14. on 10 Oct 2008 at 5:00 pm Joe

    What a piece of shit.

    However, I’d ask him to explain what de-gloving means before happily cutting his face off.

  15. on 10 Oct 2008 at 5:05 pm magicpossums

    Strikes me as the sort that would hump your leg and call you a Commie without even wanking you off.

    I hope he gets AIDS of the face.

  16. on 10 Oct 2008 at 5:23 pm outragedofbelmarsh

    Somebody PLEASE inform TT of the existence of this site.

  17. on 10 Oct 2008 at 5:24 pm Blind Pew

    Still, PC-lefty types always believe that their way is the only way and everyone else must be wrong.
    Topsy Turvy, England, United Kingdom

    Hello (no, don’t do it)
    Mr (try to resist)
    Kettle (for God’s sake fight it)
    My (must take hand’s from k-k-keyboard)
    Name’s (sweet Jesus, help me)
    Mr (Grrrrrraaaaaa!)
    Pot.

    fuck

  18. on 10 Oct 2008 at 5:37 pm Mr Cat

    Deckchairs, titanic anyone?

  19. on 10 Oct 2008 at 5:39 pm Dingleberry

    Seeing as we are a community now, can i get a show of hands on having Turdy kidnapped, dressed up as the The Prophet Mohammed with lipstick, stockings, heels, cut-away crotch and an over-sized vibber rammed up his chuff, then flown to Pakistan and dumped in the north-western territories.

    Can I get a seconder?

  20. on 10 Oct 2008 at 5:50 pm Ollwah

    Better still, it would probably be reported as a fatal wanking accident.

    Good old Peep Show!

  21. on 10 Oct 2008 at 6:15 pm Graham

    I have read most of Topsy’s posts recently- he’s still as much of a stupid fuckstick as he ever was- however I’m not sure that he claims that being gay makes him ineligible for military service as he has mentioned on several occasions that he is a serving Naval Officer. Whether that’s true or not is a matter for debate- the only thing I definitely know him to be is a gobshite with a large collection of puppet accounts.

  22. on 10 Oct 2008 at 7:06 pm Steve

    I thought we proved before that Topsy was in the Navy.

  23. on 10 Oct 2008 at 7:44 pm kbklynish

    It’s like McCain in the second presidential debate, saying that Obama was too stubborn to realize he was wrong about the war. McCain wants Obama to finally admit that we WILL win! In Victory! Goooo Republicans.

    *heaves sigh*

  24. on 10 Oct 2008 at 7:51 pm Peedo Stalker Sam

    I’m amazed TT didn’t call for BangleGirl to be stripped and rogered over the clothes horse. Oh, you’d like that Topsy Turvy, wouldn’t you, you steaming sack of slack sloth shit?

  25. on 10 Oct 2008 at 8:33 pm Harold Vest

    “Yeah just set fire to her head, let’s see how long she wants to wear a veil after that!”

  26. on 10 Oct 2008 at 9:04 pm Area Trace No Search

    Yes. From my service, I can confirm gays are allowed in the army.

    Tosspots like Topsy however are not welcome. I’m sure that any decent RSM could find at least a thousand reasons for not having Topsy in his company without resorting to mentioning his sexual preferences.

    Although I prefer to imagine Topsy as completely Asexual.

  27. on 10 Oct 2008 at 9:17 pm Bit Special

    I think Topsy makes a valid point – after all, the whole of Ingerlish (not British) society as we know it will collapse if a Sikh kid is allowed to wear A THIN PIECE OF METAL ROUND HER WRIST.

    Seriously though, if I found myself getting pissed off enough with a girl wearing some jewellery to school, which has absolutely zero impact on my life whatso-cunting-ever, to feel the need to rant about it in a public forum, then I’d have to top myself immediately to apologise for my very existence.

    Getting pissed off enough to write on here about someone who gets pissed off enough about that somewhere else is, however, entirely reasonable and worthwhile.

  28. on 11 Oct 2008 at 3:31 am burnel

    The cunt also claimed to be a Royal Navy Officer, and this week mentioned working in an office, and having friends (yeah right, fuck-stick)and eating ethnic vegetable samosas…….I think he should be credit crunched, or hung on public gallows.

  29. on 11 Oct 2008 at 7:12 am Rod Wrongnob

    Res ipsa loquitur?

    Yes, that’s it. It is actually a very long time since I had a summons.

    Errare humanum est. Esse Topsius Turvius cunnum est.

  30. on 11 Oct 2008 at 9:26 am Alex

    Errare humanum est. Esse Topsius Turvius cunnum est.

    MÁM RÁD MLÉKO.

  31. on 11 Oct 2008 at 11:37 am I agree with topsy

    I enjoy my freedom and I don’t want to fight for it.Coward.The lot of me.Should I report for degloving?

  32. on 11 Oct 2008 at 11:57 am degloving

    Interestingly, if you google ‘degloving’ one of the first results involves degloving of the penis. Evidently this Sikh kid is hiding more than bangles.

  33. on 11 Oct 2008 at 1:00 pm alt-f4

    Seeing as we are a community now, can i get a show of hands on having Turdy kidnapped, dressed up as the The Prophet Mohammed with lipstick, stockings, heels, cut-away crotch and an over-sized vibber rammed up his chuff, then flown to Pakistan and dumped in the north-western territories.

    A slight adjustment is needed since there’s no need to insult the people who will be doing us all a favour. Dress him up in an Army uniform and air-drop him into the NWFP. Without a parachute.

  34. on 11 Oct 2008 at 1:08 pm alt-f4

    “NOT IN MY NAME”.
    james Taylor”

    You do not speak for me

    Is your name James Taylor?

  35. on 11 Oct 2008 at 1:11 pm Tom

    I’d like one of these people to clearly and definitively define exactly what PC/political correctness actually means. In my experience, it just means “whatever topic I’m currently complaining about”.

  36. on 11 Oct 2008 at 1:32 pm Whatever it is its gone mad

    If you’d like to ask one of them so much why don’t you go live on HYS.And ask them.Actually don’t bother it would be entirely pointless.

  37. on 11 Oct 2008 at 1:51 pm Rod Wrongnob

    MÁM RÁD MLÉKO.

    There’ll always be milk.

  38. on 11 Oct 2008 at 3:18 pm Dingleberry

    There’ll always be milk.

    But there’s no guarantee it will be affordable once Gordoom McGabe has put a trough-filler stealth tax on it!!!1!!

    Zawsze Bedzie Masturbacja, bez podatkow.

  39. on 11 Oct 2008 at 3:29 pm Dingleberry

    Mr Cat

    Deckchairs, titanic anyone?

    Very tenous link to do with sayings and aphorisms etc; I loved Radcliffe and Maconey the other night saying how they were going to set up a tribute band to the band ‘Elbow’. They plan to call the tribute band ‘Arse’

    Cos you can’t tell your ‘Arse’ from your ‘Elbow’.

  40. on 11 Oct 2008 at 4:10 pm Civilian Homosexual

    Hmm, Topsy claims to be gay?

    Think I need to reconisder my stance on gay-bashing then. . .

  41. on 11 Oct 2008 at 4:38 pm Alex

    I can only imagine the disdain TT must have for civilian homosexuals.

  42. on 12 Oct 2008 at 1:25 pm AlexN

    Degloving is a truly horrible injury.
    How on earth does that stinking crocodile’s twat think it could happen in a gym, with or without ‘trinkets’?

  43. on 12 Oct 2008 at 6:45 pm millio

    I finally got round to googling ‘degloving’ (lovely activity for a Sunday night). Initially I thought it might be something to do with being fond of someone called Deg.

    So it’s basically skinning. What I find weird is TT knowing the correct technical term. He sounds like a character out of a Thomas Harris novel.

  44. on 13 Oct 2008 at 12:13 am burnel

    Dogs can lick their prick and bollocks…TT wishes he could, but cant. That’s why he’s a cunt (amongst a million other reasons). Fact.

  45. on 13 Oct 2008 at 7:24 am alt-f4

    What I find weird is TT knowing the correct technical term.

    If he was in the navy he’d have learned it as part of his basic training. It’s what happens to burn victims. For sailors burns are the most likely injury they will face after drowning or getting thier heads kicked in round the back of some Portsmouth pub.

    That’s probably where he also learned his gay pretensions as well. They have a system on-board, it’s called the “gobblegram”. If a new crew member doesn’t put out on his first trip at sea they buy him a blow job when he gets back on shore. He gets his cock sucked, in front of his mates, by some hot babe who, at the last moment, pulls off her wig and reveals herself to be a man – just as he comes off in his face. After that, apparantly, the ice has been broken and next time out at sea he can toss the salad with impunity.

  46. on 13 Oct 2008 at 8:21 am pedant

    You tell ‘em, Wing Commander Turvy, bravely piloting your armchair into the thick of the battle.

    Correction:
    Topsy Turvy is a ‘tail gunner’. Not a pilot.

  47. on 13 Oct 2008 at 9:08 am The Reverend Beasley

    “Not in my Name”

    You do not speak for me, so such a sweeping generalisation is blatantly not true.

    Still, PC-lefty types always believe that their way is the only way and everyone else must be wrong.
    Topsy Turvy, England, United Kingdom

    God must die for this. The Human Race is clearly God’s sick joke on The Human Race. We must destroy His creation and we will start with Topsy.

  48. on 13 Oct 2008 at 10:07 am The Reverend Beasley

    I wonder what it’s like to BE Topsy Turvy? Would you imagine there are brief flashes of self awareness which crash through his flimsy, puffed up, self-image, shattering his ego as easily as a runaway freight train shatters a bird’s egg.

    I’d like to think that while he spends his days smugly bailing out the festering bile which oozes and pools within his sceptic mind, that occasionally he catches a glimpse of how other people see him.

    Can you imagine the horror of discovering you ARE Topsy Turvey?

  49. on 13 Oct 2008 at 10:53 am Call of Davrodu

    @ Tom

    PC is a term used to counter people who take offence at your most recent vile remark/hillarious joke. “you can’t say that!” they froth indignantly, “Oooooh! dont be so PC, you big lesbian whalefrotter” thus turning their liberal guilt back upon them. “oooh, maybe you’re right, maybe i overeacted.” Says the weak minded, self-doubting leftist. Job done. Now did you hear the one about the three HYSers at the diversity awareness seminar?

  50. on 13 Oct 2008 at 12:17 pm howfar

    “comes off in his face”

    “comes off”?

    “ooh sir, I was on the vaulting horse, but I’ve just come off”

    You’re weird.

  51. on 13 Oct 2008 at 12:32 pm Kelvin

    I think alt-f4 was aiming for a cross between “comes” and “goes off.” If it helps your enjoyment of his post, you can mentally substitute one of the following phrases for “comes off:”

    “Squirts up his squid”
    “Yells charge at his million-strong battalion”
    “Glues up his eyes like a teenage stepmum”
    “Applies the Tipp-ex with abandon”
    “Sweeps out the smegma”
    “Ejaculates approximately 6cc of human semen”

  52. on 13 Oct 2008 at 4:16 pm alt-f4

    Actually, it0s from Grahame Garden’s “Mr Blackitt” character in The Meaning of Life. “…and, by wearing a rubber sheath over my old feller, I could insure… that, when I came off, you would not be impregnated.” TT’s pomposity reminded me of that character.

    It also made good counter-point to “toss the salad”.

  53. on 13 Oct 2008 at 4:55 pm Mr. Blackitt

    Actually, it0s from Grahame Garden’s “Mr Blackitt” character in The Meaning of Life. “…and, by wearing a rubber sheath over my old feller, I could insure… that, when I came off, you would not be impregnated.” TT’s pomposity reminded me of that character.

    It also made good counter-point to “toss the salad”.

    I can wear French Ticklers if I want.

  54. on 13 Oct 2008 at 5:53 pm Mooska

    It’s amazing how many people enjoy freedom but aren’t willing to fight for it.

    I would pay good money to hear TT define ‘freedom’. As long as I got to hoof him in the nads as well.

  55. on 13 Oct 2008 at 6:17 pm Alex

    I imagine TT’s definition of freedom involves weekly rubbish collections, FORCIBLE correct spelling and not having to look at foreigners.

  56. on 14 Oct 2008 at 1:06 pm JenniferRuth

    Tom -

    Being PC means not being an asshole. It means that you realise that calling a black man a nignog or a woman a stupid whore or “insert fucking stupid thing to say here” is going to make you look like an intolerant cunt.

    The thing is, those that complain about being PC *are* intolerant cunts. That is why they hate PC – they’re just trying to hide the face that they racist/sexist/homophobic assholes by shouting “It’s nooooooot faaaaaaaaaaair! Why can’t I say nigger?! FREE SPEECH!”

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