Browsing through some very old posts by regular prat UglyJohn (now calling himself “Des Gusted”, a name which he presumably came up with whilst wanking to “Countdown”). I found a couple in a very old thread asking “Do young people lack positive role models?” where John laments the lack of cardigans being worn by today’s Radio 1 listeners.
So kids don’t respect parents! LL&P will probably say that has always been the case, but I have to say a lot of parents aren’t worth respecting.
Some people I know in their late 30′s and early 40′s, are stuck in some kind of post adolescent rut. They dress like people half their age, drive ridiculous cars, go to clubs, listen to Radio 1, play console games and still go to Glastonbury.
Its a joke to be honest. Its just not dignified. Act your age people.
Des Gusted, Tun Wells
In case you were wondering “LL&P” is “LiberalLeft & Proud” who is some kind of unemployed right-wing shithead who imagines himself as a socialist revolutionary and wastes 9 hours a day trying to convince the “Have Your Say” feebleminds that New Labour are both “good” and, even more bizarrely, “left wing”.
Anyway, if there was any doubt left in your mind that poor John badly wants an Xbox:
Well there’s a shock.
“1in 3young people do not think of their parents as people they respect.”About 1/3 of the parents I know are the kind who say that their kids are their “best friends.”
There’s a pathetic symetry there, n’est, cest pas?
Parents – Don’t try to be your kids friends. They can make their own friends. Be an authority figure, it’s what they need.
Oh, and once you get past the age of thirty, don’t play console games either. Its undignified.
Des Gusted, Tun Wells
You’re a big boy now, you don’t have to wait for Christmas. Just buy yourself a console already.
Finally, before you head off and browse through the rest of John’s refreshingly mad whining, I present his answer to “What has been your costliest mistake?”:
When I was younger I had piano lessons. I could sight read simple tunes, and play reasonably well.
Sadly, being an impetuous child, I had no interest in this and gave up as soon as I could.
I absolutely wish my parents had forced me to stick to the lessons. I would love to be able to play now, but can only manage a few simple tunes, mainly in the key of C.
Des Gusted, Tun Wells
Never mind John. As a wise man once said “What’s the point of being good at anything if you’re a cunt?”.
145 Responses to “UglyJohn Returns”
Image a ‘Logan’s Run’ style world were the state comes after you on your 30th birthday and takes away your xbox. Terrifying.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest the Des Gusted is a grumpy, confused 72 year old man trapped in the body of a 32 year old virgin.
Just a hunch.
It would be pretty hilarious all right. I like how he kind of trails off there…
I feel very sorry for Des. I think the bit about being an ‘impetuous child’ is very poignant. Shame he forgot to mention the pyromania, bedwetting and torturing small furry creatures to death.
“Des” is a grumpy little twat:
on “What are you doing to lower your fuel bill?”
Did John/Des learn French from Del Boy?
I notice he doesn’t disparage the No.1 all-time favourite teenage male’s undignified pastime. It’s good to know Des Gusted hasn’t completely forgetten all the joys of his youth.
I think Des needs some prozac
I only play in the key of C anyway – don’t want to be messing with the black keys…
Don’t worry, I’m a racist…
I wholeheartedly agree with this statement. This is because I am presuming that you have already established that Des suffers from a violent, terminal allergy to prozac.
It’s just not dignified.
Will people stop simplifying this argument to car usage.
Probably best if you just top yourself now, we will applaud you for reducing the strain on the worlds resources.
A tad harsh? I agree with the ‘nine hours’ bit but I like LLP, we’ve had a few pleasant chats when the mods used to leave the green thread on late at night going back to the days when he was Philby. He’s not a shithead.
But what ever happened to Harry Flashman? *nostaligic ex-HYS-addict-sigh* Now there was a proper shithead.
Ooh, looks like his parents did the same thing with French lessons, they must be so ashamed that they wasted all that time on him…
@Pew
You’ve spent WAY too long on there. Who the fuck is Philby? Anyone who wastes their time trying to “make a point” on HYS is a shithead and you know it.
@Nelson…
Does ‘Harry Flashman’ mean anything to you?
Hello, My name is The Devil’s Advocate and I’m… I’m a.. a recovering HYS addict. I’m taking it just one post at a time. I know in my heart that posting doesn’t change anything and it’s actually a solo activity… I can over-come this.
I have vague memories of seeing that name on HYS some time so I’m guessing he must have been very stupid/pompous/racist or something or it wouldn’t have stuck in my memory?
Also, I read a “Flashman” book once on holiday.
Once you get past the age of thirty you’re not allowed to learn things because that would be too childish. Grown, self-disciplined, adults asking for lessons? What’s the world coming to?
You are allowed to teach yourself piano too. Even if you are “over 30″.
But I suppose if you still live with your mum and never go out you want to convince yourself you are a proper 50s-style “grown up” just to feel a bit better about yourself.
“very stupid/pompous/racist”
and obssesive. A few years ago HYS wasn’t quite so ‘daily mail’ and was a little more sane. Then the BBC started pumping out plugs for it on news progs and the mainstream trolls arrived and started wanking off about right wing shit. We tried to ‘make a stand’ but just got flooded out when they brought in that ‘recommend’ system with the multi-vote flaw. Flashman was the self-appointed King of HYS and bombed every thread a la Topsy Turvy. He was worse than TT for thread hogging. In the end he was banned but the Daily Mail horde had won by a country mile. One thing that ain’t said much, but it’s true… posting is very addictive to certain mentalities.
Des Gusted – a grumpy, confused 72 year old man trapped in the body of a 32 year old virgin?
Or poor, hungry, thirsty, walking wounded – naked, unhappy and all alone?
Or both?
Fuck, I’m almost starting to feel sorry for him…
I love how he defines that console gaming is undignified. Whereas his crippling addiction to WoW is nothing but mature, serious and a genuine pastime. Maybe he suffered a tragic(well, tragic for him) accident that left him unable to to use his thumbs, thus rendering him a bitter husk of a man, whittling away the hours buy venting his inarticulate hatred on an unsuspecting and unread HYS. Soon his twisted fury at a world that has reduced him to playing the entire Sierra back catalogue will reach critical mass, at which point he will start pissing bosons and shitting black holes. Hence his belief that we will all be dead before the oil runs out.
You don’t say?
*sheepish, knowing grin*
the little circle people on plastic chairs in their community centre gives a supportive gentle round of applause.
+ of
Harry Flashman can be found posting regularly at http://www.sluggerotoole.com, the Northern Ireland blog
Twat. Complete and utter, self-absorbed pretentious twat.
Hah, what a fuck! Everyone knows E-minor is the only true key to play in. If you can only play in C, you may as well just kill yourself. Go on, do it. Smother yourself with your special blanket.
Hold it Alex – isn’t that quite similar to what you were doing on that BBC bias blog before they chucked you off?
What came first, the pot or the kettle?
hey blind pew, shame you so quickly followed
with
was on the verge of composing a little ditty about them mythical little circle people in the magical key of C…
And how does it differ from venting (y)our splenetic frustration on SYB? This is just the flip side of HYTS, isn’t it? Only the quality and content of the posts differ, the desire to post your opinion to others is the same.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest the Des Gusted is a grumpy, confused 72 year old man trapped in the body of a 32 year old virgin.
What. The. Fuck?
I don’t know about anyone else but I only do this to laugh at the mental cripples, I couldn’t really give a bollocks if anyone takes my opinion or not.
Not content with being an utter piece of gash, DesJohnUglyGusted has decided that racist libel is the way forward:
I really hope that Steven Spielberg and George Lucas rape him, instead of Indiana Jones.
I quite enjoy the creative (yet clearly childish) thrill of combining animal names with euphemisms for genitals…
I’ll say this for Des, he’s not afraid to give advice, is he? He’s pretty sure of the value of his opinion. And I think anyone who uses ‘people’ as an indefinite pronoun (nur!) is Panda’s Pussy
I just like laughing at people and sharing that laughter with other people who are also laughing at the same people.
Like some sort of smug twunt.
Some middle-aged people have started to act half their age, using new-fangled ‘computers’ and something called the ‘internet’ to spread their opinions around ‘cyberspace’. It’s ridiculous and undignified. People should only be allowed to entertain themselves in the ways that their parents did.
Did I mention that I see myself as a highly dignified person?
Someone watch the new South Park episode last night…?
Yes, it is rather similar. However, if you look closely at the top of the post, you’ll see “by Nelson” in bold. This means that Nelson wrote it, and, by extension, that I didn’t.
It would have been even better if your parents had forced you to expand your mind beyond the limits of your own fat, self-satisfied face.
@millie
”
Don’t you think you’re a little old for such undignified activities? Please try to act your age, People called Millie!
Incidentally, they didn’t chuck me off. I stopped posting because it was draining my soul, eating my life and achieving nothing.
You know Alex didn’t write this? You know Alex from elsewhere on the internet and you’re just making a general point? I’m getting a bit worried that there seems to be some sort of “community” here.
I wouldn’t hang out with the sort of cunt who’d read this blog and neither should you. You’re all cunts. Go away. I’m not going to rest until nobody reads this fucking thing any more. I hate you all.
Don’t do this. It’s a short step away from saying “Pot? Meet kettle” and then standing, smugly, while you wait for your clever and subtle allusion to slowly dawn on everyone else.
Two words: Horse, stable, bolted.
Typical PC gamer, whining about the habits of the console gamers.
weeeeeeeeeeeey… deja vu. And I’m not bitter either
I posted on HYS many moons ago, when it was vaguely rational (i.e. nobody knew about it) usually to point out simplistic errors in the articles. I abandoned all attempts to redress any balance and leave them to it now. It’s just a pity the Beeb insists on linking comments into the news articles themselves – a lot of the time completely skewing their not-so-neutral opinion even more.
The “credit crunch” poetry thing is currently the most insipid thing I have ever seen. Surely there must be someone from the Beeb pissing their pants at all the entries?
You know you can just tie the horse up. It’s cruel and unnecessary to bolt it to the stable.
Two words: Horse, stable, bolted.
—
Three words per se ?
Relax, I’m a pedantic moo.
@ Nelson
Ever since you did that thing in the Guardian there have been far too many opinions on this site and not enough pompous vitriol. Can we go back to when this was read by just 17 people?
I LIKED YOU FIRST!!!! ME!! ME!!!!! LOOK AT ME!!!!!! YOU’RE MY HERO!!!!
Sell out*
*That is assuming you make money from this, which adversely to my previous statement I assume you don’t.
my inner grammar fascist’s head has just exploded. since when did “n’est ce pas” have a comma in the middle?
‘Nelson’ is a franchised brand. I was at an major internet convetion in Seattle a few months ago and I happened to notice that this website (SYB) was in a group of bundled cheap sites being offered as a package to the highest bidder.
The real Nelson bailed out years ago. There have been 3 Nelsons since then. All of them young, over-optimistic, wanna-be, internet millionaires. There was a little hand-book called ‘Who is Nelson and how to be him?’ that came with the rights to SYB. There was another hand-over last week when ‘Nelson went on holiday‘. I believe the current Nelson is an ex-Lehman Brother’s banker hovering on the edge of a nervous breakdown somewhere in Boise, Idaho.
I really do think that people shouldn’t get too bogged down in trying to make this site mean anything more than just coming up with new and interesting insults for other people who have old and confirmed methods for deserving insults.
I would make one slight change to make it even more accurate:
,ne’st p’a's’?
You know, unless I’m wrong, he seems to be saying that like it’s a bad thing.
Just ‘cos he’s wishing himself to an early cardigan, pipe and slippers future of unending dullness, does this dullard think everyone should be as gray as him?
Not, of course, that he’s ever going to get married to anything that isn’t his fist or a firm insertable vegetable.
It was just a general pisstake actually. Hardly a “point” – more of a reckless jibe. I tried making a point once. It wasn’t very good.
I like to think that the pot and kettle comment was horribly smug and pretentious. I’m rather proud of its self important banality. “Pot Meet Kettle” has too few syllables to really drive home the witless smuggery of it all.
PS
Grey, not Gray
And
Radio 1
I don’t actually listen but that’s because Moyles is the biggest badger’s flange going, and the only time I can tune in he’s gobbing off like the worst sort of c@nt.
Eh? Eh? What thing was that? I don’t pay my licence fee to be kept in the dark about this sort of thing, you know.
Shut it you arsecandle!!!oneone!!1!
Since we’re in confessional mode (we being a notional community, an aggregation of like-minded people intended to give Nelson the screaming ab-dabs) I must admit that I used to post on the BBC website, but that was back in the day when it was called “Talking Point”, was largely unmoderated, put up a new topic about every three weeks, and was dominated by someone calling himself Mark Shinycock, or it might have been Freshtodger, or Newdick, but anyway he came from UK/USA which I think is a neat trick if you can pull it off. Which, with an unsullied membrum virile, shouldn’t be difficult.
Haven’t you heard? I’m famous now. I regularly put my finger in June Sarpong’s mimsy. And yes, she only talks like that because she’s permanently drunk.
“Hello Mr Pot, my name’s Mr Kettle… You’ve made my life one long hellish joke. What did I ever do to you? Yes I’m black… AND? SO? WHAT’S IT TO YOU? Prepare to die, you hypocritical, name-calling, bastard.”
Post more of my stuff, that should drive them off in minutes.
Talking of smug allusions I’m mightily annoyed that mine took a lot of unappreciated effort, while Topsy Turvy knocks them out effortlessly.
The. State. Obvious. Bleeding.
Make a sentence from the previous cliched HYS debating manoveure.
but, but, but – but the Millie who wrote that’s only 12! (I had to reply on her behalf, she’s quite upset, very sensitive to criticism)
Shit in a hat, you’re not Trevor Nelson, are you? I went onto the google internets and typed in nelson and guardian and sarpong and there you are! No wonder you hate Des Gusted if he’s so down on Radio 1.
I seem to remember from a previous SYB that we established that Nelson is a ‘Yam-Yam’. Something that can still reduce me to childish giggles and indeed is as I type this.
Good call. I haven’t looked in the “Pending” pile for about 2 weeks. I expect you’ve got some terrible drivel in there. I’ll get posting.
Thanx Kelv. x
Now this is interesting. Did Nelson choose
June Sarpong for this throwaway gag because:
a) he fancies her?
b) he finds her immensely irritating?
c) both?
d) he really does put his finger in her mimsy?
e) all of the above?
That’s sort of the point of the exercise.
I too must confess to the sin of having posted – twice! – on HYS yonks ago, but only because I was driven beyond the brink of sanity: once, when some complete sloppy rhino’s anus was ranting on about educational standards, in a post crammed with spelling, grammar and punctuation errors AND he used the phrases ‘added bonus’ and ‘unexpected surprise’ and such wanton tautology pushed me over the edge and in the second instance, when a mental decided to declare to the nation that the best and only way to solve violence in society was to beat the living shit out of kids day and night, at home and at school and to let strangers punish kids they encounter in public and as well as this, he added that paedophilia only existed because parents showed their kids affection. Apparently, a carefree tousling of the hair at age 6 turns little Timmy into a raging bikeseat-sniffer the day after his 18th birthday. As Reeves & Mortimer used to say, when they were still funny, ‘I wouldn’t let it lie’.
Isn’t the difference between HYS and SYB that WE hate people who fucking deserve it (and can be grammatically correct when doing so), whilst being fully aware, and accepting of, our own misanthropy and bitterness, whereas HYSers just spout random, illogical, mindless, indiscriminate bile about anyone they view as ‘different’, ‘other’ or ‘lesser’ than themselves, without realising that their knee-jerk fear and stupidity is just a way of not having to consciously recognise their own insecurity, inadequacy and sense of emptiness (or deal with the reality of life being generally a bit shit)?
Christ, I sound sneery and superior. Ah, erm, um, oh yeah… that’s why I post here. My bad.
I hate you all.
Just to make it clear.
I like it when the funny men say silly things.
Bit Special
Yes, that is why we post here.
Everybody else
Make me fucking laugh you bastards.
He never really cleared that one up actually. So much for “community”
“What’s the point of being good at anything if you’re a cunt?”
- laughed my arse off
I’m from Wolverhampton, yes. I have a trace of my black country accent left (I’ve not lived there since 1991) and it gets stronger when I’m drunk.
It’s actually the best accent in the world and that one you (all of you) do when you think you’re doing a midlands accent is totally unconvincing
…and to think I just read this site ’cause the graduated grey-green background hurts my eyes less than the BBC’s ‘brilliant white’.
Yam Yam
Clown cars?
I could do my side splitting midland’s accent impression if your like, it’s bob-on. Listen listen listen…
Orright, um frum Buuuuuuurrrrrrrmingum.
Hey?
Hey?
Nailed it cold.
I love the way he says ‘console games’. Not computer games, video games, just console games. I bet he has a white computer (because nobody over 30 would have one coloured black) and spends most of his nights creating new Age of Empires Maps and pulling one off over his picture of Sid Meir.
Bleedin hell. Unemployed Rightwing Shithead? I maybe a shithead but I’m not Rightwing or unemployed. I just really really enjoyed winding up the rightwhingers on HYS. Topsy being a particular favourite.
Oh and I think Labour are as leftwing as Thatcher, but who else are you going to vote for?
Hey now I’ve found this site I’ll do 9 hours a day here instead.
Hey can I come too?
God I love it when we insult people and they find it.
http://ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/2008/07/22/its-tescos-i-feel-sorry-for/
The HYS lot may be dim, but I’m starting to see why they use “lefty” and “liberal” as insults.
Total imagination failure. Wipe your arse on the ballot sheet or something.
People like you will always find a way to justify why you put an “X” in that box. Back in the real world, you’re just lending another fraction of democratic legitimacy to mass-murderers and corrupt plutocrats. You’re WORSE than the HYS cunts. At least they have the excuse that they’re fucking stupid.
Jesus. I hate the internet.
Nelson, your “remember kiddies, the internet is shit” comment has got me through many a dark time. It’s a useful argument, and applies to many things besides the internet.
If it wasn’t for the internet, though, there wouldn’t be this, though.
Laughing at this site and the way it has managed to attract the rim lickers from Have Your Say, pretending that they were cooler than all that. Haha.
Ah well, the inflammatory wit kept me amused for a while.
Jesus. The internet people are like real people or something.
Ar. Get out as early as you can.
It’s not anything new for them. They’ve been getting this drivel in the mail for decades. Remember Crossroads? (for the over-thirties this one). They ran a competition asking for script ideas for the final episode. I wrote in along the following lines:
“Benny is exposed as a Mossad sleeper agent and the Crossroads motel is blown up by the PLO. Meg is killed while heroically trying to defuse one of the bombs but saves lots of lives.”
They never accepted my entry. Bastards. They did burn down the motel though, and at the end the character Meg was seen in the flames with a final cliffhanger as to what happened to her. On the day it was broadcast all the hospitals in Birmingham had their switchboards blocked by concerned viewers ringing in to find out how she was.
It’s probably better for society to give them a forum stamped BBC authenticity, where the wider populace can actually see exactly what kind of cretinous cunts they are sharing a planet with.
I’d love to bash the granny out of June Sarpong.
As you where.
on 10 Oct 2008 at 6:24 pm Nelson
The HYS lot may be dim, but I’m starting to see why they use “lefty” and “liberal” as insults.
but who else are you going to vote for?
Total imagination failure. Wipe your arse on the ballot sheet or something.
People like you will always find a way to justify why you put an “X” in that box. Back in the real world, you’re just lending another fraction of democratic legitimacy to mass-murderers and corrupt plutocrats. You’re WORSE than the HYS cunts. At least they have the excuse that they’re fucking stupid.
Jesus. I hate the internet.
………………………
People like me? Well I may have spent or wasted a fair bit of time on HYS, but at least I didn’t set up a website to vent my contempt for the rightwing thickos in the kind of pathetic language that is a mirror image of the very people you mock. Oh wait a minute. Pissflaps, minge, fanny grunt. Am I funny now?
Now unless you are also heading some brave revolutionary cell dedicated to overthrowing the entire system explain to me how you are doing your bit? Calling Topsy a badger’s minge or your fantastically clever “mass murderers and plutocrats” line don’t really cut it.
Nope. But don’t worry, some people just aren’t.
on 13 Oct 2008 at 1:46 pm Nelson
Oh wait a minute. Pissflaps, minge, fanny grunt. Am I funny now?
Nope. But don’t worry, some people just aren’t.
……..
Evidently. Now I’ll leave you to toss off on your own.
Thanks. And remember, you may feel like some kind of left-wing intellectual on HYS but so would Peter Mandelson.
You’ll fuck off and leave us alone? As if. We couldn’t be so lucky.
No honest I will, I’ll leave you to bask in the glory of actually bothering to maintain a blog to convince yourselves that you’re that tiny bit more intelligent than the idiots you so wittily parody. Big Dog’s Cock.
Excellent job of fucking off there, LL&P. I expect you’ll be back in another ten minutes to really drive home the expert way in which you’ve thoroughly fucked off and definitely won;t be coming back.
Excellent job of fucking off there, LL&P. I expect you’ll be back in another ten minutes to really drive home the expert way in which you’ve thoroughly fucked off and definitely won’t be coming back.
Now it decides to double post on my correction. Oh, the shame.
Liberals! They don’t like it up’em.
“but who else are you going to vote for?”
“people like you always find a way to justify why you put an “X” in that box…..”
“You do not speak for me, so such a sweeping generalisation is blatantly not true. Still, PC-lefty types always believe that their way is the only way and everyone else must be wrong.”
Topsy Turvy, England, United Kingdom
Pick a username and stick to it
Is 6cc REALLY the average amount produced?
It’s going to be a while before I can give you a statistically significant answer… but I’m right on it.
Try “Fox News Liberal,” it translates well across the pond.
thanks nelson, here’s a little something from the beeb to help you on your way
Bugger. That was in reference to picking a username to stick to.
Impossible, I’m the incredible shifting man, I have no real name
Nelson, can we get a comparison of IP addresses then?
It’s a fair question. I chose to withdraw my taxes by quitting my job. I preferred to accept unemployment and give up the dubious rewards of unskilled labour, rather than contribute to those things I am utterly opposed to. I actually ended up with a tenner a week more after I signed on the dole, so I have to wonder why I was dumb enough to be doing such a shitty job in the first place.
What did you do? Apart from voting for more of it?
Oh yes we do!
That ‘little something’ link above was supposed to be tongue in cheek, but turns out to be a veritable mine of information. Take this for example:
Never heard that one before. Will see if I can slip it into a conversation before the end of today.
And this:
Unless, of course, they’re feeling a little flat.
It is quite funny though. What exactly does being the lone Left-of-Mussolini voice on HYS achieve?
‘Liberal Left and Proud’ sounds far too haughty.
‘Liberal Left, Proud & Humble’, would be far better, n’est, c’est pas?
Boys grow up and realise there are two forms of wanking – functional and recreational. Girls grow up and do it in front of webcams.
OOOoooowwwwww Poo! Look, I am all in favour of kicking racist headcases to bits with savage and unrelenting vitriol. But LLP is not one of them. He’s not done anything wrong to us or anyone. He’s sane; he’s civilised; he doesn’t believe that wogs begin at Calais or that the Daily Mail is Law; he cares. Yet he turned up here and got his head kicked in, for what? He hadn’t actually done anything wrong. Sorry to bang on, but should we be giving anyone a hard time, if we feel like it? If we don’t limit our abuse to bitter, malicious bastards, we’re just indiscriminate yobs.
Have I got the wrong idea about SYB?
It’s like ‘Oliver’ on the other thread, I feel a bit rotten taking swipes at him, cos while he may be a bit of a sad loser, he ain’t hurting anyone, he just listed the things that made him happy. He didn’t call for The Roma to be liquidated or for Tehran to be Nuked.
Same with LLP, yeah he hangs round HYS more than is healthy, but he’s a nice guy and I know he is. And his post history confirms that he is. He’s spent months and months tussling fuckheads like Topsy Turvy on the existence of global warming or the fact that not all muslims have bombs in their knickers. He’s trying to counter-act hateful people on HYS. You may say, “What for, that’s a stupid thing to do?” But it’s not morally wrong. It’s not ‘bad’. Why call him a shithead? It lessens the impact of calling Topsy and Co. shitheads if we can’t distinguish them from those who have done nothing wrong.
Yes, this is a rant.
Yes, I’ve only been here a couple of months.
Yes, We have no bananas.
I’m only asking why someone who has done nothing offensive has been abused and driven off? Aren’t we supposed to be “the good guys”?
You’re thinking about it a bit too much. It’s a funny website.
I’m sure LL&P will one day win his argument on HYS.
http://ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/2007/10/14/politics-is-important/
@dingle
I think this was a perfectly valid response to his, “but what else can you do” strain of defeatism. Pity he took it so badly.
I think you’re wrong about Oliver as well. He’s like the alter-ego of topsy, polishing brass on the titanic.
I’ll explain the problem with LL&P. He’s not liberal, and he’s not leftist. In fact as far as HYS is concerned he’s a very handy strawman liberal whose arguments are piss-weak and who, even for their very limited abilities, are easy to lampoon. He’s got the comedic style of an arthritic termite, and he’s so puffed up about himself that he thinks he’s changing the world by posting on HYS – but we’re wanking in a hole by lampooning the people he claims to lampoon.
I checked my job description and it says nothing about which side of the political spectrum from which I should select fuckwits, hypocrites and shitgobblers. I know, it’s PC gone mad!
I like the word lampoon. Try saying it five times. It’s like caramel.
Though to be fair to LL&P, to my knowledge he’s never said anything of truly SYB-worthy fuckwittery. He just toes the liberal/Labour line in a dull, inoffensive and reasonably intelligent way.
Since this blog is essentially a place for amusingly offensive and unreasonably stupid comments being lampooned in a stupidly amusing and unreasonably offensive way, I think we should go easy on him.
Good points everyone.
I can’t promise to go easy on him if he says anything else foolish. I’m a terrible cunt, you see. But I’ll try to ignore him as long as he’s fairly quiet.
I’ve always thought that Nelson’s this blog’s head and you’re its heart, Alex.
Leaving me to be the distended, rape-ruined arsehole.
See I’ve always thought Nelson was the cock and we were one bollock each. Naturally I’m the one that’s slightly higher.
Wordpress is the scrotum and foreskin.
“Leaving me to be the distended, rape-ruined arsehole.”
with little dangly bits. Any bone? we like it, the bone, if it comes out.
Can we get back to June Sarpong please?
This cock isn’t going to ransack itself you know
talking of which:
Why just girls though? In the spirit of gender equality I’d like to see men making more of an effort to catch up with regards to this type of spectator sport.
Why just girls though? In the spirit of gender equality I’d like to see men making more of an effort to catch up with regards to this type of spectator sport.
It’s a division of labour. Girls in front of webcams, men in front of monitors.
People! This is a “humorous” blog. Do I give a monkey’s whether you like me or not? Yes , yes I do. Please be my friends. I’m very lonely.
On another note I left the labour party over ID cards and 42 days, see them as the lesser evil and generally supported them on HYS to counter act the tide of evil fascist filth corrupting our kids. Now I have stopped that and will set up permanent camp on SYB.
Now that I approach retirement, having seen the light, I hereby declare my intention to try to help make this world a better place.
Having seen the light (and fast approaching a sharp elbow) I hereby declare my intention to turn my back on my former evil fascist ways. I shall also be setting up permanent camp on SYB.
I honestly couldn’t agree more. (And you’re clearly its funny bone) I just get sense-of-humour failure when I see people kicked about without cause. I never liked watching the defenceless getting mobbed at school. We should pick on people our own size.
Here endeth the lesson.
Waaaaaay too late. But you’re on the road to recovery.
You’ve relapsed.
Would it sound hypocritical if I said “Welcome”? Like that’s ever worried me.
Welcome.
Yah!
I meant “Yay!”
Looks like the Kettle has bolted the Titanic
deckchair, anyone?
Wow. What an eventful thread. How about we get back to the business of making fun of desperate wanktards with this:
We lost the second world war by winning it? It all makes sense now when I hear people saying we ‘won’ the Iraq war. Does that also mean that the Americans actually won the Vietnam war by losing it? Maybe the French throughout history have actually been pretty damn successful when it comes to fighting, we were just looking at it the wrong way …
So are we taking things seriously now or not? It’s given me a funny feeling in my glands. mmmmmmm.
LL&P, don’t worry, “our” kids (not mine by the way, I don’t even have a batman outfit)won’t be able to read the filth on HYS. Besides which, even sisyphus would quail at the task of re-wiring the defective brain mechanisms of the permanently deluded champs of HYS. Can it de done? No. Can it help to try? No. All that remains is to mock.
and on the subject of voting for evil;
kang: You have to vote for one of us, its a two party race
public: Why I guess i’ll vote for a third candidate
Kodos: Fine, throw your vote away! (waves tentacles jubilantly)
You forget that in the ordered, monocultural, pure Anglo-Saxon utopia we would have gleaned from losing WWII, everybody would have to speak German.
I know we’d be rid of the wogs, gyppos muzzies and liberals, but is all that really worth having to learn? Especially something so foreign as a language.
Alex
You forget that in the ordered, monocultural, pure Anglo-Saxon utopia we would have gleaned from losing WWII, everybody would have to speak German.
I know we’d be rid of the wogs, gyppos muzzies and liberals, but is all that really worth having to learn? Especially something so foreign as a language.
………………
Ah, yes but the evil dictatorship of the EU will make us speak German soon anyway (or even worse French). At least if the Nazis had won I wouldnt have to see bloody foreigners walking around as if they owned the place. Ocelot’s Front Bottom.
I miss Animal Fanny Tuesdays.
@Libby The Proud Leftie
Surely if the Nazis had won (or ‘really’ lost?), they’d be walking about like they owned the place? and Krauts? If your Kraut ain’t foreign, then who is? Maybe it would have been better if we’d just won WWII, after all? Shame we didn’t.
Dingleberry
At least if the Nazis had won I wouldnt have to see bloody foreigners walking around as if they owned the place. Liberal Left and Proud
@Libby The Proud Leftie
Surely if the Nazis had won (or ‘really’ lost?), they’d be walking about like they owned the place? and Krauts? If your Kraut ain’t foreign, then who is? Maybe it would have been better if we’d just won WWII, after all? Shame we didn’t.
That was the joke! the answer to our question “If your Kraut ain’t foreign, then who is?” is = Bloody Immigrants
I wish that nice Mr Jorg Haider was running this country, he’d make a smashing job of it. He’d be a big hit.
Dingleberry
I wish that nice Mr Jorg Haider was running this country, he’d make a smashing job of it. He’d be a big hit.
Or that lovely Pim Fortuyn. Except he’s dead. And Gay. And Dutch.