Grief Athletes17 Oct 2008 11:33 am
By Alex

I wonder, when Pink Floyd wrote “Great Gig in the Sky”, “Wish You Were Here” and “Shine On You Crazy Diamond”, did they ever imagine they would be crassly regurgitated by a steady stream of self-satisfied grief athletes every time one of them popped his clogs?

Very, very sorry. This is the worst news I have heard or read in many years. The absolute BEST I’ve heard is thanks to Mr.Wright’s part of Pink Floyd. Respect across this World is well deserved by this Special Man.
God bless him.
Lance Sanderson, Bristol

I don’t know if you heard, but this thing happened with these planes and a couple of buildings and then…no, I won’t tell you, it’ll upset you. But maybe stick the news on for a few minutes between albums.

My wife and I named our daughter Piper Dawn, after Pink Floyd’s first album. Their music has been one of the few constants in our lives since we met. I would be hard pressed to say anything original about the band and music, but send our most heart felt condolences to Rick and his family. He will be missed. Rick, Wish you were here.
Jeremy Gray, Potland, Or

Don’t worry Jeremy. Richard (and Syd) will live on in every shit joke people make on meeting your daughter.

Richard, you opened my eyes to a world of keyboards. Before I listened to Pink Floyd, I would never have considered learning keyboards, but thanks to you and your influence, I have steadily began to teach myself a bit or two.

I’d just like to take this time to thank you, and you will always remain in my heart as one of my favourite bands of all time.

You’re with Syd now, and I will always think of you two lost soles swimming in a fish bowl.

Goodbye Richard, and thank you.
James Charman, Llanfair Caereinion, United Kingdom

Beautiful imagery there James. I’m imagining you wandering, grief-stricken, around “World of Keyboards” in Welshpool before returning home to stare forlornly at a couple of Odour-Eaters in an aquarium.

180 Responses to “Poor Piper”

  1. on 17 Oct 2008 at 11:37 am kalafudra

    And I was wondering, where my soles are. Of course, I didn’t look in the fish bowl. Silly me!

  2. on 17 Oct 2008 at 11:43 am AndyS

    i may be speaking out of turn here, but pink floyd can fuck the fuck off. the up-their-own-arse antelope fannies.

  3. on 17 Oct 2008 at 11:49 am Kelvin

    He doesn’t say which shoes the soles come from, leaving it open to debate whether it’s L and R, two Ls, or a pair of R soles.

  4. on 17 Oct 2008 at 12:00 pm refusal

    We named our daughter A Momentary Lapse Of Reason. Not only is it our favourite Floyd album, it’s also an explanation of how she came to be born! She loves it!

  5. on 17 Oct 2008 at 12:01 pm Comfortably numb

    @AndyS

    Yes you are speaking out of turn actually, ruddy well take it back.

    I didn’t really mind when Rick Wright snuffed it tbh. I don’t think he was frightened of dying, we’ve all got to go sometime…

  6. on 17 Oct 2008 at 12:08 pm Rich(MMath)(Oxon)

    The best news I’ve heard is thanks to Mr.Wright’s part of Pink Floyd.

    That was in the news? Must have been a very slow news day.

  7. on 17 Oct 2008 at 12:10 pm Rick, Manchester

    Never heard of him. Just another talentless celeb. This thread’s a waste of time.

  8. on 17 Oct 2008 at 12:13 pm Chris

    My wife and I named our daughter “Nevermindia Bollocks” due to our life-long love of the the Sex Pistols.

  9. on 17 Oct 2008 at 12:15 pm Alex

    €10 for the first person to find James Charman’s phone number, ring him up and say “Hi James, this is Dave Gilmour. I read your post of Have Your Say, and, well, I know this is short notice, but we’re a keyboardist short and Nick Mason and I would like you to come on tour with us.”

  10. on 17 Oct 2008 at 12:17 pm Wayne

    As I was telling young SwordFishTrombones this morning, “At least I didn’t give you a silly name like Chardonnay”.

  11. on 17 Oct 2008 at 12:19 pm Kelvin

    We named our daughter A Momentary Lapse Of Reason. Not only is it our favourite Floyd album, it’s also an explanation of how she came to be born! She loves it!

    Makes me wonder if there’s a generation of Kevin Smith fans’ offspring called Inthebackofavolkswagen.

  12. on 17 Oct 2008 at 12:23 pm DavesNotHere

    Be fair, maybe they are lemon souls…

  13. on 17 Oct 2008 at 12:23 pm Toby

    His daughter can always pretend in later life that her parents were a bit literary and were naming her after a chapter title from The Wind in the Willows, as Pink Floyd did for that album.

  14. on 17 Oct 2008 at 12:29 pm Far-Q

    Richard, you opened my eyes……I’d just like to take this time to thank you,……Goodbye Richard, and thank you.

    Richard can’t hear you James, because he’s dead.

  15. on 17 Oct 2008 at 12:34 pm wobbegong

    Where the hell is Potland, Or? And its all very well Jeremy sending his heart felt condolences to Rick Wright’s family, but I’ve never heard of it being sent to the deceased themselves. Must have been of great consolation to him knowing what Jeremy thought as the coffin was lowered.

  16. on 17 Oct 2008 at 12:43 pm Kelvin

    Where the hell is Potland, Or?

    Portland, Oregon. It’s where American counterculture comes from. All of it.

  17. on 17 Oct 2008 at 12:49 pm Petpete

    Its an obvious joke and I feel sick for writing it, but here we go:

    I named my daughter The Best of Pink Floyd after my favourite Pink Floyd album…

    …i just shuddered.

  18. on 17 Oct 2008 at 1:05 pm wobbegong

    big weekend coming up as BackagainintheDHSS celebrates his 21st with a big pissup at the Cammell Laird Social Club. Sign on you Crazy Diamond.

  19. on 17 Oct 2008 at 1:05 pm A Tear Stained Floyd Fan

    I have always been a very great fan of Syd Barrett and both my wife and I particularly like his ground-breaking 1967 single ‘See Emily Play’. We like it so much we named our daughter Ground-Breaking-Syd.

  20. on 17 Oct 2008 at 1:07 pm alt-f4

    We named our daughter Assdick, because we don’t like her very much.

  21. on 17 Oct 2008 at 1:14 pm blind pew

    “Their music has been one of the few constants in our lives since we met.”

    Along with disappointment and therapy bills for little Piper Dawn.

  22. on 17 Oct 2008 at 1:14 pm Morag

    I have steadily began to teach myself a bit or two

    This statement makes my brain cry.

    And Pink Floyd were ok. Not the best music ever heard by human ears; just ok. So there.

  23. on 17 Oct 2008 at 1:26 pm Far-Q

    I have steadily began to teach myself a bit or two
    Should probably have started trying to learn how to use the keyboard with letters on first.

  24. on 17 Oct 2008 at 1:44 pm Far-Q

    I should probably practice html a bit more before being a smartarse.

  25. on 17 Oct 2008 at 1:46 pm Blind Pew

    Although Pink Floyd is no longer an active force in todays music scene, their past influential body of work, and legacy cannot be ignored. or disputed. Rick was a major reason for this four decades plus accomplishment.
    He never stood in the spotlight, but his musical presence did. His contributions gave Pink Floyds music, its soulful, sincere, atmospheric moodiness and tension.
    He is one of those few, beautiful people who come into this world to contribute so much and touch so many.

    Ron F, Danbury, CT

    I love the posters who think they’re doing the obits column for Rolling Stone. (Although obviously this wouldn’t be the normal Rolling Stone, where punctuation is
    considered functional rather than just oddly decorative.)

  26. on 17 Oct 2008 at 1:52 pm Blind Pew

    Richard and Sid Shine On in the Great Gig in the Sky.Wish I Was There.

    Calum Roberts, Glasgow

    A masterclass in succinct trite sentimentality. Thank you Calum. Your light is an inspiration to us all. My thoughts are with your family.

  27. on 17 Oct 2008 at 2:06 pm lisa simpson

    big weekend coming up as BackagainintheDHSS celebrates his 21st with a big pissup at the Cammell Laird Social Club.

    at the weekend? ah, too bad, i’ll be writing on the sole (or soul) of my slipper with a biro instead. although if the party is soundtracked by a blues cd on the hallmark label, it’s sure to be good.

  28. on 17 Oct 2008 at 2:07 pm Blind Pew

    Never ever had the privilege of meeting you mate,but i will one day on the Dark Side of the Moon. R.I.P Rick.

    Rab Dickson, Kirkcaldy

    Ridiculous Immature?

  29. on 17 Oct 2008 at 2:11 pm wobbegong

    I wish you were there too Calum Roberts you dozy fuckturd

  30. on 17 Oct 2008 at 2:28 pm Kelvin

    although if the party is soundtracked by a blues cd on the hallmark label, it’s sure to be good.

    I hear he’s going to play golf on the Sunday morning, just a mile and a half from town.

  31. on 17 Oct 2008 at 2:54 pm skunkpussy

    Portland, Oregon. It’s where American counterculture comes from. All of it.

    And also some rather excellent beers.

  32. on 17 Oct 2008 at 2:57 pm humphrey

    Why abbreviate the poor tykes name?
    Shouldnt she be called piper at the gates of dawn?
    We called our son cunt- face because he was so ugly.

  33. on 17 Oct 2008 at 3:11 pm skunkpussy

    Joy Pattinson, as compassionate as always:

    My reaction is that too many are still dying with cancer and that there has been little or no improvement in research on this ghastly disease, still killing the young as much as the aged. In 1959 my father died from it at the age of 56. So how can I now mourn someone who nonetheless enjoyed ten more years of life than my own father. Space research should be halted in favour of more on this deadly illness and until more money goes in the right direction we shall hear of more and more deaths. JoyJoy Pattinson, ROLLE, Switzerland

  34. on 17 Oct 2008 at 3:19 pm Peedo stalker Sam

    Argh… Joy Pattinson… I just want to… smack her fucking miserable, lined, smug, twisted, bulldog-chewing-a-wasp excuse for a face in.

  35. on 17 Oct 2008 at 3:30 pm Ire

    Let us take a moment to dissect Joy’s logic.
    1) Too many people get cancer. The fact that cancer exists is someone’s fault – since I have absolutely no idea what causes cancer or why it is difficult to find cures for it I will blame space research.
    2) I think that if cancer didn’t exist, people wouldn’t die and so we would stop hearing of deaths.
    3) It is impossible to mourn someone if you knew someone who died at a younger age. Even if it was nearly fifty years ago.
    4) I am, essentially, mentally incompetent.

  36. on 17 Oct 2008 at 3:37 pm Far-Q

    So how can I now mourn someone who nonetheless enjoyed ten more years of life than my own father.

    Empathy? Us humans have it.

    JoyJoy should visit one of those euthanasia clinics they have in Switzerland, because her continued existence makes life painful for others.

  37. on 17 Oct 2008 at 3:41 pm Morag

    It’d be interesting to see the look on Joy’s face when someone tells her that the current medical opinion on cancer is that it will never be “cured” in the same way that diabetes can never be cured, and that at best it will be reduced to a manageable condition that a person can live with. I expect she’d accuse scientists of being lazy and not trying hard enough, or some such.

  38. on 17 Oct 2008 at 3:51 pm Dr Shade

    In 1959 my father died from it at the age of 56. So how can I now mourn someone who nonetheless enjoyed ten more years of life than my own father.

    Quite right Joy you miserable gnat’s cunt – anyone who lived longer than your father is a completely worthless waste of flech, skin and DNA.

    Especially you.

    So why don’t you go kill yourself and join the daughter-diddling paedo git in whatever corner of Hell is reserved for miserable harridans with barely 2 brain cells to rub together you sack of scabby turds?

    Space research should be halted in favour of more on this deadly illness

    And then, when we eventually find out that there’s a strange fungus growing on Titan that can cure cancer we can all kick you in the fucking face on behalf of the billions of people you’ve just condemned to the same slow, agonising death your father suffered you narrow-minded gormless bint.

  39. on 17 Oct 2008 at 3:57 pm skunkpussy

    It sounds like Joy’s Dad was a bit of a character. See this posting from the HYS ‘Should we let our children drink?’:

    One child in ten is nothing – merely 10 in one hundred! or 20 in 200! Statistics are ridiculous. I was given a full bottle of Cherry Brandy one Christmas when I had a girlfriend round. We got slowly through the whole bottle. My parents were in the house and had done this on purpose. I was 18. My Father wanted to see me reactions after I had been drinking. It was to sing! I was happily put to bed still singing. No aggression. I never forgot the experience and did not have a hang over. Joy
    Joy Pattinson, ROLLE, Switzerland

    Anyone else feel a little disturbed by the thought of a middle-aged guy getting two teenage girls drunk on cherry brandy to ‘see what would happen’ before ‘putting them to bed’?

  40. on 17 Oct 2008 at 4:06 pm magicpossums

    My daughter died very shortly after birth.

    She was named after the Cannibal Corpse song ‘Entrails Ripped From a Virgin’s Cunt’.

    Originally she was to be named that because we liked it, ultimately it turned out to be hideously ironic.

  41. on 17 Oct 2008 at 4:11 pm wobbegong

    @skunkpussy – its the fact that daddy happily put the 18-year old girls to bed that is most worrying. Bet he was happy, getting a glimpse of Joy and her mate with an empty bottle together.

  42. on 17 Oct 2008 at 4:14 pm Rotwatcher

    I’m pretty sure that Joy’s father isn’t actually dead as such, but instead has done a Stonehouse-Darwin, in a desperate, life-or-death bid to escape the deadly miasma of carcinogenic clagnuts that he, or more likely Lucifer in one of His rare forays in human form, spermatozoically caused to come into being. Thanks for nothing, Mr Pattinson.

  43. on 17 Oct 2008 at 4:21 pm Kelvin

    Anyone else feel a little disturbed by the thought of a middle-aged guy getting two teenage girls drunk on cherry brandy to ‘see what would happen’ before ‘putting them to bed’?

    “Cancer” in this case meaning “getting beaten to death by the other girl’s Dad.”

  44. on 17 Oct 2008 at 4:26 pm Far-Q

    Even Joy’s parents hated her, they were trying to give her alcohol poisoning at the age of 18. ‘Tis a pity they failed.

  45. on 17 Oct 2008 at 4:47 pm AndyS

    i’d always imagined joy to be about 40.

    if her dad died in 1959 aged 56 she’s more likely going to be between 70+80

    fingers crossed she’ll die soon. but she’ll be older than my grandad when she does so i won’t get upset.

  46. on 17 Oct 2008 at 4:48 pm AndyS

    and where’s her dad getting bottles of cherry brandy from when she was 18. BY MY MATHS THAT WAS DURING THE WAR. he was a spiv, the evil cunt. why wasn’t he on the front line?

  47. on 17 Oct 2008 at 4:56 pm Bit Special

    Was it a special type of cancer that Joy’s Dad got – y’know ‘the world revolves around me and my tiny, blinkered, cretinous world view-cinoma’ or similar? Because I think it was hereditary as Joy is clearly riddled with it. And it seems like she’s passed it onto her fellow HYS cunts.

    It might be shit to be named after an album or a band, but not as bad as being called Joy, when you’re the exact opposite of everything that word could possibly mean or stand for.

    I have to go now – my son, Locust Abortion Technician, wants his tea.

  48. on 17 Oct 2008 at 5:12 pm Blind Pew

    It might be shit to be named after an album or a band, but not as bad as being called Joy, when you’re the exact opposite of everything that word could possibly mean or stand for.</blockquote.

    The ‘Joy’ thing was a Mwahh-haa-haa moment for Mr. Pop-Your-Cherry Pattinson. Aware that his urge for incestual peadoism was going to blowtorch Joy’s soul into a withered black stump, he called her ‘Joy Empathy Merryweather Pattinson.

    By the age of two she already had a reputution as a curse-bringer, a doom-sayer and a milk-turner.

  49. on 17 Oct 2008 at 5:14 pm Blind Pew

    > happy now?

  50. on 17 Oct 2008 at 5:16 pm Dr Shade

    Talking of Joy(less) cretins is anyone else catching the incredibly frequent posts of “Anthony” on the current abortion thread?

    Added: Friday, 17 October, 2008, 15:32 GMT 16:32 UK

    Abortion is a CRIME against humanity.

    The law needs to be strengthened not weakened, but then what do you expect in this day and age?

    Anthony, Wales

    I expect facile tosspots like you to spout their misogynistic bile all over the internet you worthless turd.

    I’m never disappointed.

    Added: Friday, 17 October, 2008, 15:30 GMT 16:30 UK

    Those who choose to have abortions should suffer for eternity.

    What ‘goes around, comes around’, springs to mind.

    Anthony, Wales

    What springs to my mind is the happy thought that you should be repeatedly bum-raped by some hairy 24 stone beer-belching taxi driver on your way home on a Friday night and then have a bowling ball surgically inserted for you to squeeze out your clacker 9 months later.

    Then you can call it “Chelsea”.

    Added: Friday, 17 October, 2008, 15:27 GMT 16:27 UK

    Abortion is morally wrong, whichever way you look at it.

    People who abort precious life should, in my opinion, be tried in a criminal court of law and be shown to be the heinious crime that it undoubtedly is.

    Anthony, WALES

    Good on you Anthony – you go and deprive all women of the right to have any say over over what does and doesn’t happen to their bodies and in return we’ll let them have the right to decide if you should have your testicles pulled off with rusty pliers. That’ll show ‘em!

    Added: Friday, 17 October, 2008, 15:25 GMT 16:25 UK

    No, the law most certainly SHOULD NOT be changed.

    Some women need to learn that they cannot play ‘God’ where the issue of precious life is concerned, and as such the law needs to be strengthened so as to ensure that these miscreants are brought to justice.

    Anthony, WALES

    Yeah – bloody miscreant theological deity bitches, thinking they can go round shagging anyone who isn’t Welsh Anthony with their foul fanny-bits and then NOT expect to have a baby 9 months later as punishment for their wicked, wanton, slutty, dirty, dirty, DIRTY, stinking, filthy whore’s ways!

    Who do they think they are?

  51. on 17 Oct 2008 at 5:27 pm The Reverend Beasley

    Quick ‘pro-life’ bashing fact for you – at least 50% of all fertilised eggs are naturally rejected by the human body. Yup, 50% of all pregnancies are very quickly terminated by the picky, atheistic, not so ‘pro-life’ womb.

    Chew on that Anthony, you bible-bashing moron.

  52. on 17 Oct 2008 at 5:47 pm Alex

    People who abort precious life should, in my opinion, be tried in a criminal court of law and be shown to be the heinious crime that it undoubtedly is.

    An unfortunate caveat, Anthony. You have accidentally suggested a law that would still have allowed you to have been aborted.

  53. on 17 Oct 2008 at 5:55 pm Kelvin

    Yup, 50% of all pregnancies are very quickly terminated by the picky, atheistic, not so ‘pro-life’ womb.

    My old biology teacher used to refer to God as “the Great Architect.”

    From now on I’m calling God “the Great Abortionist.” Should piss off just about everyone that deserves to be pissed off.

  54. on 17 Oct 2008 at 6:04 pm AndyS

    I’m going to call god the great soprendo

    piff paff poof.

  55. on 17 Oct 2008 at 6:08 pm Bit Special

    Top facts, Rev – could’ve used ‘em in a *great* argument I had recently with a Pro-lifer (or vicious, evil, misogynist, meddling twats as I like to call them) who was getting his rant on about the morning-after pill. Said it was an ‘instant abortion’. When I pointed out that it takes 72 hours for the sperm to reach the egg before one can even attempt to fertilise it, so therefore a pill that has to be taken well before this time is hardly an abortion, seeing as no impregnation can possibly have taken place, he started bellowing about how ‘Science was invented by Atheists to spread lies about the truth of The Lord’s world’. Yes dear – an invisible beardy giant living in the sky watching and controlling everyone and everything simultaneously is clearly a far more rational explanation for everything that, um, being able to observe and prove stuff through science. Or just using your eyes and brain properly.

    I later pointed out to him that if the Immaculate Conception really had happened, Jebus would’ve had to have been a girl, as a woman’s body contains no XY material to create a male foetus. That fact also did not go down well.

    Shame Anthony’s parents both had the cunt gene to pass on. Can’t we re-introduce Eugenics solely for ruinous genetic flaws like this? Won’t somebody think of the Guardian-readers?!!one!

    PS Apparently Sarah Palin, that famous pro-lifer, passed a law that forces rape and incest victims to pay for their own tests and medication after their ordeals (not to mention her being opposed to abortion in ALL cases, even the potential death of the mother). Why do these complete bastards only care about life before it actually becomes ‘properly’ alive?!

    Shit, this is long. Sorry.

  56. on 17 Oct 2008 at 6:11 pm Far-Q

    Am I alone in thinking that there’s been one too few abortions in Wales as it is?

  57. on 17 Oct 2008 at 6:19 pm Peedo Stalker Sam

    Can I just point out that he’s not bible-bashing when he’s wittering on about abortion, because there’s no mention of it in there? At all. I mean, absolutely nothing.

    He’s not Bible-bashing, he’s just a cock. I really hope that when Jesus comes back he gives people like Anthony a really hard kick in the balls.

  58. on 17 Oct 2008 at 6:22 pm Peedo Stalker Sam

    To add to my previous comment, that means that people like Cunthony and Sarah Palin who have decided that all women who have abortions are evil, have abandoned the whole compassion/love/peace/general goodness thing that Jesus was spouting on about for the sake of something that they’ve just made up. You couldn’t make it up!!

  59. on 17 Oct 2008 at 6:29 pm Far-Q

    Making abortions easier to obtain means that more women will use this as a form of contraception. There are many different kinds of contraception, if you don’t want children, don’t make them!

    (I am a women by the way.)

    [VanessaR], Wiesbaden, Germany

    Thanks for that addendum, I’d never have guessed you sex with out that.

  60. on 17 Oct 2008 at 6:51 pm skunkpussy

    Making abortions easier to obtain means that more women will use this as a form of contraception.
    [VanessaR], Wiesbaden, Germany

    Yes, because THIS happens ALL the time:

    Man: Where did you put the condoms darling?
    Woman: You don’t need to bother with those silly things honey. I’ll just ram an old wire coathanger up my mimsy in a couple of weeks. That’ll take care of it.

  61. on 17 Oct 2008 at 11:27 pm Mal

    Let us fervently hope and pray that the Anthonys and VanessaRs of this word always use contraception if they ever do find anyone desperate and/or drunk enough to have sex with them.

  62. on 18 Oct 2008 at 6:10 pm Ire

    Can I just point out the latest Have Your Say topic: “Should Immigration Be Reduced?”. I mean come on, HYS, you’re not even trying any more.

  63. on 19 Oct 2008 at 11:42 am Taskis

    First – and I hate myself for this – the pedant in me has to point out, stupidly saccharine and idiotic though James Charman’s nauseating post was… I’m sorry, I really am… Soles are actually fish. I may’ve missed the point of the satire there in some of the comments, and if so I’m truly sorry and will flagellate myself immediately (any bloody excuse).

    Incidentally, does ROLLE have to be written in CAPS? I wonder if it’s sort of the Swiss equivalent of Westward Ho!, in that punctuation is part of the name? By the way, ‘Joy’: we’re going to hear of ‘more and more deaths’ no matter HOW much money is put where you want it. In fact, sooner or later we’re going to hear of *everyone’s* death up until our own, obviously, at which point we presumably stop hearing about anything). But unless you can think up a way to stop that, it’s *all your fault*.

  64. on 19 Oct 2008 at 6:04 pm YeGods

    Perhaps Anthony in Wales and VanessaR in Germany could be introduced, and could produce beautiful babies together.

    After all, as their postings indicate, Vanessa is a woman and Anthony is a prat !!

  65. on 20 Oct 2008 at 10:55 am Blind Pew

    I will always think of you two lost soles swimming in a fish-bowl.

    This puts a whole new angle on the tormented teenager’s favourite angst-ballad. Perhaps Roger Waters wasn’t referring to the dreary, lonely futility and petty repetitiveness of life. Perhaps he was comparing his failed relationship to the mating rituals of domesticated flat fish.

    Let’s face it… with ‘Laughing Boy’ Roger anything’s possible.

    (PS I didn’t include a complete re-write of, “Fish, you were here.” So be grateful for small mercies.)

  66. on 20 Oct 2008 at 11:07 am Kelvin

    Perhaps Anthony in Wales and VanessaR in Germany could be introduced, and could produce beautiful babies together.

    After all, as their postings indicate, Vanessa is a woman and Anthony is a prat !!

    Yes, he could put his winkie in her hoo-hoo-dilly!!

    By the way you can say “fuck” and “cunt” here. You don’t have to resort to piss-poor HYS “polite” insults.

  67. on 20 Oct 2008 at 11:58 am Liberal Left and Proud

    on 20 Oct 2008 at 10:55 am Blind Pew

    I will always think of you two lost soles swimming in a fish-bowl.
    This puts a whole new angle on the tormented teenager’s favourite angst-ballad. Perhaps Roger Waters wasn’t referring to the dreary, lonely futility and petty repetitiveness of life. Perhaps he was comparing his failed relationship to the mating rituals of domesticated flat fish.

    Let’s face it… with ‘Laughing Boy’ Roger anything’s possible.

    (PS I didn’t include a complete re-write of, “Fish, you were here.” So be grateful for small mercies.)

    ……………..

    Or “shine on you crazy diamond fish” . Sorry thought I was back on HYS for a minute. Sloth’s tuppence!! That’s better.

  68. on 20 Oct 2008 at 1:31 pm Dingleberry

    DEBATE:Is there life beyond Earth?

    “If you are using the argument that because you are complex you must have been created by an even more complex being, then take it one step further”
    Jamie Cole, Manchester, United Kingdom

    Surely a “complex” mind will not mention or ever use the word God!
    Alex Gache

    Alex ‘Xenophon’ Gache refuses to let the clever-clever sod bugger him about with ‘so what’s the turtle standing on?’ nit-picking. Instead of taking the traditional ‘it’s turtles all the way down, now fuck off’ approach, he sticks his head up his arse and drums the theme tune to the Archers on his butt cheeks.

  69. on 20 Oct 2008 at 1:32 pm Alex

    I should point out at this juncture that Alex Gache also plays the drums.

  70. on 20 Oct 2008 at 2:22 pm Spunk daddy

    An interesting comment there from the world’s most shrewd thinker: given that Jamie Cole never mentioned the word God, and Alex Gache did, either Alex does not have a “complex” mind, or his point is a great big steaming load of dinosaur shit, which indicates that Alex does not have a complex mind.

    Either way, he’s a mong.

  71. on 20 Oct 2008 at 2:32 pm Peedo stalker Sam

    QUESTION: Do you believe in UFOs?

    “There would be little point in a space ship landing in Britain because Woolas would regard the occupants as being above our quota of immigrants, and the Daily Mail crew who already howl about the influx of their own kind, human beings , would surely be outraged!

    Dillinger”

    Not necesarily!

    As long as they didn’t try and claim benefits or insist that we change our entire political/law system because it “offends their religion” then I think we’d be reasonably welcoming…

    Topsy Turvy, England, United Kingdom

    Recommended by 17 people

    I would comment further but I’m instead rather tempted to have my short-term memory erased and my eyes burned out so I never have to read or think about this comment ever again.

  72. on 20 Oct 2008 at 2:58 pm ZX Spectrum (48K)

    …the Daily Mail crew who already howl about the influx of their own kind, human beings..

    A Invalid argument, 0:1

  73. on 20 Oct 2008 at 3:00 pm Dingleberry

    “I think we’d be reasonably welcoming…”
    Topsy Turvy, England, United Kingdom

    I just pray that somewhere, far out in the depths of the universe, there is an alien Speak Your Branes which also monitors the Earth’s post-vomit.

    I hope they, like us, joke and boggle at Joy and Captain Celsius et al. I’d like to think one of our like-minded alien friends just took a break from checking tax-returns at his alien insurance company to copy and paste Topsy’s comment to their SYB with the sub-heading

    “Yeah right and I’m a three cunted peedo-whore from Ursa Major. Hell’s buttocks why don’t those Earthoids just knife-crime that toxic sad-sack in the human-male reproductive gland? Nobody has ever won twat-of-the-galaxy three years running, but I’ve got my money on Topsy. He can’t lose.”

  74. on 20 Oct 2008 at 3:38 pm John

    Its all well and good taking the piss out of HYSers, but will you militant Athists FUCK OFF. Realy, you are just the same as the God bothers. It you want to call dumb people stupid names or if you want to make childish jokes about peados then go for it, but if you just want to make ill informed comments about abortion then please Fuck off somewhere else.

    Oh, and as an FYI, most pro-life people are not anti abortion in cases of rape, or danger to the mother etc…

    This place realy has gone down hill since Nelson sold out. It used to be fun, but now you people are sounding more and more like the HYSers, but rather than being right wing nutters, you are left wing fools. You sit on a horse just as high, and you still a twat.

    /rant.

  75. on 20 Oct 2008 at 3:55 pm Tim-Tim

    Yeah Dingleberry, but if there’s an Alien SYB then there’s surely an Alien HYS too. Just imagine the topic “Should we make official and public contact with the Two-Leg-Walking Monkey Dudes on Earth?”

    No really, imagine it…

    How dare the GBC ask questions like this! Our ancestors died on that shitty little rock to ensure those organisms evolved the way we wanted, with four legs and 8 bastard arms, dammit! But those liberal do-gooding Smurfs from Smurfula had to ‘let evolution run it’s natural course’, and now we have this human infestation ready to spread to all parts of the galaxy.

    Who do they think they are, coming into our universe with their limited number of appendages, evading our shoe-tax and immigrant glove surcharge, the twats!

    It wouldn’t be so bad if they’d follow our rules but oh no, when we abduct them (and it’s OK because they said they’d blow up our alien leaders in a propaganda film called ‘Independence Day’, and that camp isn’t really on our planet so it’s exempt from galactic law) they say, “We can’t eat the gaseous excretions of the Splurrrrgh Plant, we’re carbon based!” Fuck you! Methane was good enough for my Granddad, it’s good enough for me and if it’s not good enough for you then you can go sit on a Habbery Nuck-Baduck from planet Scluck you Fuck!

    Joy Pattinson, ROLLE, Switzerland

  76. on 20 Oct 2008 at 3:57 pm Dr Shade

    Its all well and good taking the piss out of HYSers, but will you militant Athists FUCK OFF…

    Aha! The well-argued reasoning of the pro-lifer:

    “If you don’t agree with my views you can all FUCK OFF you childish, ill-informed twats!”

    I, for one, am suitably humbled and ashamed of my previous remarks.

  77. on 20 Oct 2008 at 4:03 pm Samwel

    will you militant Athists FUCK OFF

    Fucking WHO?? Who the fuck are you ranting at?! Are you ranting at the author of one the HYS comments posted above?

    … now you people are sounding more and more like the HYSers, but rather than being right wing nutters, you are left wing fools. You sit on a horse just as high …

    ‘Hypo’, meet ‘crite’. Is that HYS enough for you?

  78. on 20 Oct 2008 at 4:06 pm Twatdangle

    I think I like Johns post, it reminds me of when Isaac Hayes left South Park because they wanted to take the piss out of Scientology. You can’t hide behind a rational argument, just post “It’s fine to tke the piss as long as it’s not something I believe in.” and be done with the bugger. But he does try, and in the face of being a cunt as well, that’s commendable.

    Here’s how it works John, everyone on this site is a twat, so are you, if you like Pro-Life so much…

  79. on 20 Oct 2008 at 4:11 pm Peedo stalker Sam

    John said:

    Its all well and good taking the piss out of HYSers, but will you militant Athists FUCK OFF. Realy, you are just the same as the God bothers. It you want to call dumb people stupid names or if you want to make childish jokes about peados then go for it, but if you just want to make ill informed comments about abortion then please Fuck off somewhere else.

    Oh, and as an FYI, most pro-life people are not anti abortion in cases of rape, or danger to the mother etc…

    This place realy has gone down hill since Nelson sold out. It used to be fun, but now you people are sounding more and more like the HYSers, but rather than being right wing nutters, you are left wing fools. You sit on a horse just as high, and you still a twat.

    /rant.

    If you don’t like the site, you’re free to go and take out your anger by raping a donkey and eating some shit.

    I’m going to go ahead and point out, as a “God-botherer”, that most pro-lifers are a bunch of illogical, self-aggrandising donkey-raping shit-eaters who would rather forward their own toxic views than be nice to someone who has gone through a terrible process. i.e., having someone scrape blobs from their Lady Areas. Oh, and if pro-lifers are so in favour of life, why do so many of you support the death penalty?

  80. on 20 Oct 2008 at 4:13 pm Gentlemen please!

    Let’s not resort to mud-slinging. The lovely VanessaR, quoted above, is actually right that people in many parts of the world (such as the former Soviet Union, where I live) use abortion as a form of birth control, and this is perhaps not a good thing seeing as contraception is a lot better.
    Also, the point where life becomes ‘properly alive’ is worthy of discussion–maybe not at conception, but also perhaps not at the moment the cord is cut.

    Sorry, didn’t mean to be so serious, normally i love the irreverence here–I just hate to see you guys fight.

  81. on 20 Oct 2008 at 4:14 pm Kelvin

    This place realy has gone down hill since Nelson sold out.

    Then you’re quite welcome to fuck off.

  82. on 20 Oct 2008 at 4:26 pm alt-f4

    Atheists have to remain militant, due to the shocking extent that religon is forced into our lives. Not mentioning any wars or anything, there’s: Can’t shop on a Sunday, can’t go out to work on “religious” holidays. Having to subsidise the tax-exempt mofo’s, and still have bells clanging all the fucking time. Shit, if I played my hi-fi at the same volume as the local catholic church, they’d confiscate my stereo and asbo my ass off before I even got half-way into track two.

    Why can’t they play their fucking bells over the radio for them what wants to hear it? The muslims here put their call to prayer over the radio, and that’s just a guy singing – usually quite well too, as opposed to the cacophonous christian call that is purposely designed to be as loud and intimidating as possible. Drives you nuts. If there was a god he’d have miracled me up an RPG by now for to put an end to it. Or struck lighting onto the place or a plague of HYSers, or something.

  83. on 20 Oct 2008 at 4:29 pm Oliver

    “…This place realy has gone down hill since Nelson sold out…”

    I always assumed Nelson was only in it for the fame anyhow. Expecting him to maintain some kind of ‘standard’ or frankly any standard was a bit too much to ask.

    Anyway, I’m in the mood to say something really childish, so: pro lifers are poo. So there.

    As long as dimwits continue to post racist and illiterate shite on HYS i’d say we have every right to post semi thought out and often contradictory piss taking on here. At least our shit is funny (sometimes).

  84. on 20 Oct 2008 at 4:30 pm Call of Davrodu

    How much did you get for the sell out Nelson? and Do we get any of that? No? All gone to the first immigrunt family to come here for the free abortions? Typical.

  85. on 20 Oct 2008 at 4:30 pm Mal

    As a militant athist I vehemently reject the existence of This and anyone who says that This exists can go fuck themselves with a large cactus.

  86. on 20 Oct 2008 at 4:33 pm Kelvin

    How much did you get for the sell out Nelson?

    I tried to ask him once but his butler’s butler said he was busy.

  87. on 20 Oct 2008 at 4:38 pm John

    Peedo stalker Sam, I am both a “God-Botherer” and as with yourself, do not hold the extream vies of some. My point, and anger, was aimed not at people being pro choice, or pro life, but that people are being such twats.

    I agree that some (not most, but the vocal minoraty) of pro-lifers are twats too, who, for example, would feal that women should not have the “morning after” pill after an insetual rape. I agree with your views on them. But I digress.

    As I said befor I am just angry at how people are being full on, miss informed, HYS twats here.

  88. on 20 Oct 2008 at 4:39 pm Kowalski

    will you militant Athists FUCK OFF…… if you just want to make ill informed comments about abortion then please Fuck off somewhere else.

    Where else could we possibly go that isn’t infested with knuckle dragging pro life religious loons that could not string together a meaningful and well argued sentence about abortion, (or anything else for that matter, even someting easy like “paperclips”)

    Once people bring their pet sky fairy into things, then you know they have either lost the plot, or most of their braincells, or both

  89. on 20 Oct 2008 at 4:41 pm Oliver

    Yeah but come on John, who would you rather spend an evening in the pub with – one of us, or Joy Pattinson?

    Having just considered this question myself I realise the obvious answer here is: Neither.

  90. on 20 Oct 2008 at 4:44 pm Kelvin

    As I said befor I am just angry at how people are being full on, miss informed, HYS twats here.

    He says, at the end of his second full on, miss informed, HYS twat rant.

  91. on 20 Oct 2008 at 4:45 pm liberal left and proud

    Its all well and good taking the piss out of HYSers, but will you militant Athists FUCK OFF…

    …………

    You’re right I’m birching my naked buttocks at the moment and moaning “oh, god! oh, god!” as an atonement for being a nasty Athist.

  92. on 20 Oct 2008 at 4:46 pm John

    Last serious thing I will say, im either going to fuck off, or ignor the twats, but

    alt-f4, Oliver & Call of Davrodu, you make my point. That is the king of stuff we need posting.

    Except alt-f4, you are wrong. You can work Sundays if you want, but Im sill having them off. I’m currently looking in to forming a religion based on the three Jewish faiths (Islam, Christianity & Judaism) thereby tripling my holidays, and allowing me to only work Monday-Wednesday.

  93. on 20 Oct 2008 at 4:49 pm John

    kind of stuff, not king of stuff

  94. on 20 Oct 2008 at 4:54 pm Jesus

    Hi everyone. Erm, great to see some debate and everything, but could you keep it down? I can’t hear my bells.

    Incidentally, abortion is cool, as long as it’s good abortion. No bad abortion is allowed. Unless the kid’s gonna get good AIDS from it.

    Oh, and you have My Blessing. I fucking hate HYS as well. Cunts.

  95. on 20 Oct 2008 at 5:01 pm outragedofbelmarsh

    I called my daughter Locust Abortion Technician.

  96. on 20 Oct 2008 at 5:06 pm Bit Special

    John, you whining, pointless little fucktard, I’d like to take time out of my actually not-very-busy day to point out some facts you might’ve overlooked: 1) Nobody making comments on here about abortion actually specified that they were Atheists – although seeing as the remarks were based on rational facts, you (a mardy cretin) slagging them off actually gives kudos to Atheism, so you’re kind of shooting yourself in the foot 2) Scientifically proven facts about abortion are not ‘ill-informed comments’. If the FACTS about pregnancy and abortion don’t tally with religious belief on the matter then I wonder why that is. Ahem. Have you actually heard of science – y’know, that thing that proves the ‘reason’ behind everything and that the existence of an form of deity or supernatural entity is impossible and ridiculous. 3) God doesn’t exist. Neither does SpiderMan, Santa, The Tooth Fairy, nor do aliens (apart from the ones speaking above, of course), ghosts, elves, goblins, dwarves, vampires, werewolves or mermaids (etc.). To an atheist, believing in these things is just as silly and odd as believing in God, but in fact more so, because in terms of supernatural feasibility, these rank waaay higher than a god existing. But still, they’re all childish bollocks no normal, sane adult should believe in… in my opinion. If you still want to believe in them, then go ahead, knock yourself out; it has no effect on me, my beliefs or my life. 4)I AM a Militant Atheist, actually (not that you’d have guessed, eh), so thank you for making me and others like me look effortlessly superior and right by your own inane and blinkered rantings. 5) Atheists, militant or not, are hardly the same as religious fundamentalists (or ‘god botherers’ as you weren’t even able to spell correctly). The reasons why are so obvious and so well-known that I’m not going to waste my time repeating them, but I will say this: people start classifying themselves as Militant Atheists as opposed to just Atheists because they are sick of the skewed way that society acts like WE’RE the ones who are trying to be weird or offensive and that the onus of proof is on US as regards religious belief, whilst we’re not the ones who believe that invisible men live in the sky and made us and our entirely un-supernatural world and now watch and control us and we’re not the ones trying to tell other people what they can with their own bodies, sexuality, lives, and so on. We’re not trying to make people think the same way as us – we just don’t think it’s fair that people say our Atheistic beliefs are offensive to them when we don’t care if others think the same way, when we want people to live life how they see fit with no interference, instruction or intrusion from us, when we think people should be trusted to be able to behave decently and morally without either the threat of some sort of divine retribution or feeling blindly behoved to do something purely because it will please a deity instead of doing it as a result of their own moral fibre, when our views aren’t trying to control or condone others and above all, when we can prove our opinions are correct irrefutably and religious people can’t and never will do. That is the opposite of fundamentalism. You TWAT.

  97. on 20 Oct 2008 at 5:13 pm Spunk Daddy

    Bit Special: I think you need to put the Stella down and go for a fag…

  98. on 20 Oct 2008 at 5:20 pm Bit Special

    I’ve just realised that John might not have been comparing Militant Atheism to yer *proper* super-mental fundementalism, but that still doesn’t change his overall blinkered cuntishness.

  99. on 20 Oct 2008 at 5:22 pm militant millie

    I don’t believe in god but I do love the sound of church bells ringing. Does that make me a bad Athist?

  100. on 20 Oct 2008 at 5:24 pm alt-f4

    “Except alt-f4, you are wrong. You can work Sundays if you want”

    Well, it you regard Sunday as a religious holiday, then I guess I’m wrong.

    You religious idea has already been done. Jews for Allah they call ‘emselves. The more powerful god of money seems to have vetoed the three-day week though.

  101. on 20 Oct 2008 at 5:35 pm Dr Shade

    Have you actually heard of science – y’know, that thing that proves the ‘reason’ behind everything and that the existence of an form of deity or supernatural entity is impossible and ridiculous.

    Well if we’re being pedantic “Science” has never “proved” the impossibility of a divine entity. In fact, Stephen Hawking virtually goes so far as to say – in his Brief History of Watchmaking or whatever it’s called – that wherever Science doesn’t have an answer then “God did it”.

    Let’s not forget the valuable scientific axiom that “absence of evidence is not evidence of absence”, eh?

    Personally I have no opinion on the matter of a divine being’s existence. The way I see it is that we’ll all find out for sure one way or another when we pop our clogs. In the meantime I’ve got more important things to exercise my grey cells over.

    Fuck me. That was actually a serious response! I think I’d better go for a lie down in a darkened room somewhere…

  102. on 20 Oct 2008 at 5:40 pm Looped Tape

    I’ll say this for John, he knows how to wind things up (particularly Bit Special!!!)

    It you want to call dumb people stupid names or if you want to make childish jokes about peados then go for it, but if you just want to make ill informed comments about abortion then please Fuck off somewhere else.

    Oh, and as an FYI, most pro-life people are not anti abortion in cases of rape, or danger to the mother etc…

    It’s like those posts on HYS that start off as a bollocking rant directed at posters for daring to go off-topic but then achieve their own momentum and start raging off-topic themselves.

    You must NOT talk about abortion! Stop talking about abortion! Especially cos you know nothing about abortion. Cos lots of people who think abortion is wrong are perfectly normal decent…. ARGGH!… I CAN SEE THE BACK OF MY OWN HEAD!!!

  103. on 20 Oct 2008 at 5:44 pm alt-f4

    Hey! I didn’t even mention abortion yet. I think the whole debate is pointless. Spay all women, and neuter all men. Babies can be made to order nowwadays, and should be, but only to matched-pairs of responsible adults. Irresepective of gender. Gender should be taken out of procreation and reserved exclusivly for recreation. Space research should be cancelled and the money spent on curing all STDs so that we can go in bareback once the threat of unwanted pregnancy as been eliminated.

  104. on 20 Oct 2008 at 5:46 pm millie

    Bit Special, on the whole I agree with you, except the bit about goblins. Their existence has in fact been proved.

  105. on 20 Oct 2008 at 5:50 pm Dingleberry

    John …(huge long rant)… You TWAT.

    Bit Special

    There. Fixed it for you ;-)

  106. on 20 Oct 2008 at 5:51 pm millie

    Spay all women, and neuter all men.

    and stop there. The world would be a far better place.

  107. on 20 Oct 2008 at 5:51 pm Bit Special

    I’ve had to deal with a lot of twats today, Looped Tape. He pushed me over the edge, I’m afraid.

    Dr Shade – just cos science can’t prove something STILL doesn’t mean it must have a supernatural reason behind it; it just means science hasn’t worked it out yet (or perhaps never will, which still wouldn’t mean ‘God did it’). I never meant to say science could 100% prove a deity couldn’t exist; it’s common sense that does that!

    (drumbeat, then cymbals clash) I thank you!

    I’m bored of all this now, when will there be new cunts/cuntery to mock?

  108. on 20 Oct 2008 at 5:57 pm Mr Foo

    I am Mr Henry Fills Johnson Auditing and exchange Staff at the foreign remittance Unit of my Bank. please I contacted for a business deal and which I will like you to proceed with this deal and give me my share that is all that I need, as insider that work with SGBCI bank here in Abidjan Cote D Ivoire,i want you to claim this 35.000.000.00 Million dollars in our bank which the depositor is dead for years now and know next of kin or relations know about this for the past years now, the money is in a suspenses account for years now and about to be confiscated and i can tell you how you claim this money, but you will do expenses but you will get the money and give me share ok,get back to me and i give you more details and this is my mail address henryfillsjohnson1@yahoo.com

    There you go. Rather than flaming each other over abortion, sign up for a single-use gmail account and end this cunt some hardcore abuse. The end result is about the same, and it’s a load more fun.

  109. on 20 Oct 2008 at 5:58 pm Dingleberry

    Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

    *strokes goatee-beard and tries to look very wise*

  110. on 20 Oct 2008 at 5:58 pm Mr Foo

    Fuck. “send this cunt…”

  111. on 20 Oct 2008 at 6:07 pm Mal

    If you people have quite finished regaling us with your worthless opinions can we now get back to the proper business of this site viz. the childish and sporadically humorous abuse of morons?

  112. on 20 Oct 2008 at 6:11 pm Kelvin

    end this cunt

    Certainly, Mr Kray. Anything you say, Mr Kray.

  113. on 20 Oct 2008 at 6:14 pm Dr Shade

    Dr Shade – just cos science can’t prove something STILL doesn’t mean it must have a supernatural reason behind it

    Quite agree. As I said before I have no opinion whatsoever about a Supreme Being.

    I found it hilariously interesting though that John automatically assumes anyone “pro-abortion” must automatically be a godless heathen “Athist”

    Personally I’m not “pro abortion” I’m “pro choice” – I don’t want anybody but me deciding what I do or don’t do with my body and I think it’s only fair to extend the same courtesy to those empty-headed giggly wimmin-types. If some choose to use abortion as a form of contraception then fair enough – they’re lazy scumbag fucktards of the highest order but it’s their body and their choice. My opinion on this has nothing whatsoever to do with any other opinion I might have on religion, science, philosophy or pornography.

    So there.

  114. on 20 Oct 2008 at 6:16 pm Dr Shade

    If you people have quite finished regaling us with your worthless opinions can we now get back to the proper business of this site viz. the childish and sporadically humorous abuse of morons?

    Yeah!

    Where’s the chance to comment on all the complete fucktwattery being spouted on the UFO discussion?

  115. on 20 Oct 2008 at 6:20 pm Dingleberry Bush

    This sudden “release” of “plausible” UFO sightings is part of Project Bluebeam,a US project to trick people into believing that aliens threaten our world.

    Think in terms of how 9/11, 7/7, the financial “meltdown” etc have been used to manipulate populations.

    The point is to establish a global govt and a New World Order.

    Expect to see enormous holograms beamed over nations of relevant dieties and/or “aliens” designed to create panic and induce a cooperative, bunker mentality in us all.

    Gary, Vermont

    You ask, Dr. Shade… You get. (I find the above post reads best if mentally accompanied by incredibly fast banjo pluckin’, yee haw)

  116. on 20 Oct 2008 at 6:37 pm millie

    So who’s Nelson sold SYB to then?

  117. on 20 Oct 2008 at 6:54 pm Alex

    - This place realy has gone down hill since Nelson sold out.
    - Then you’re quite welcome to fuck off.

    A genuine iylismwdyglt! Three cheers for Kelvin!

    As long as they didn’t try and claim benefits or insist that we change our entire political/law system because it “offends their religion” then I think we’d be reasonably welcoming…

    So, what you’re saying, Topsy, is that as long as they didn’t try to claim social security that their spacetaxes had paid for, or exercise any kind of democratic rights, you’d be slightly nice to them.

    I bet your definition of “reasonably welcoming” limiting discrimination to only near-constant, scaling down forced expulsion and sometimes sparing the women and children during pogroms.

  118. on 20 Oct 2008 at 7:28 pm Bit Special

    I’ll say something for Topsy – it’s not like he tries to work his own agenda into every topic, is it?

    He’d probably make immygrunts, alien or not, work in a gulag just to pay for the ink used to fill out their forced repatriation forms. And then moan about them stealing gulag jobs from proper English (not British) wages slaves/ political prisoners.

    There should be a game show for HYSers, where they win prizes for who can shoehorn their own bugbear into the most unlikely and irrelevant topics the fastest. “And Topsy, your starter for 10 is: Socks”.
    Channel 5 shouldn’t have wasted their money on bringing back ‘Going For Gold’.

  119. on 20 Oct 2008 at 9:02 pm anon an on an on an ariston

    I’ve found the reason for Joy Pattinson’s full-blown spasticisms:

    http://www.linkedin.com/pub/7/6a1/342

    Joy PATTINSON’s Education

    St. Mary’s Convent, Lowestoft
    1945 — 1953

    There you go.

  120. on 20 Oct 2008 at 9:17 pm Peedo Stalker Sam

    Isn’t it precisely that sort of internet sleuthing which got me into trouble? You don’t want to go peedoing old ladies – Nelson could get sued.

  121. on 20 Oct 2008 at 9:26 pm Peedo Stalker Sam

    Hey, Ms Pattinson has come with the most remarkable idea!

    Petition to introduce a system whereby citizens have the choice to carry an Organ Donor Card (ODC)

    Hey, that’s the most brilliant idea EVER, Joy Pattinson! If only someone had thought of that sooner! You’ve saved the world, Joy Pattinson, you and your two friends!

  122. on 20 Oct 2008 at 9:29 pm Kelvin

    A genuine iylismwdyglt! Three cheers for Kelvin!

    I see it more as a iylismwdy die in a car crash, actually.

  123. on 20 Oct 2008 at 9:31 pm Peedo Stalker Sam

    Hey! Joy Pattinson has come up with the most amazing idea EVER!

    Petition to introduce a system whereby citizens have the choice to carry an Organ Donor Card (ODC).

    Wow! That’s the most amazing idea EVER, Joy Pattinson! If only someone had thought of that before! Say, in 1971 for kidneys and 1981 for other organs! Wow, you’re so cool and with the times, Joy Pattinson!

  124. on 20 Oct 2008 at 9:32 pm Peedo Stalker Sam

    Bah. The petition link was supposed to be:

    Petition to introduce a system whereby citizens have the choice to carry an Organ Donor Card (ODC).

  125. on 21 Oct 2008 at 12:41 am Samwel

    Joy’s petition idea

    Oh jesus fucking christ (sorry Peedo Stalker Sam, sometimes blasphemy is the only appropriate response). I’m going to bed, and I’m not getting up in the morning. Fuck this world and everyone in it. If someone would be so good as to let me know when the manky old bitch is dead, I may consider re-emerging from under the covers.

  126. on 21 Oct 2008 at 10:25 am Militant Athist

    There’s probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life

  127. on 21 Oct 2008 at 10:49 am crafty_carmen

    Dammit, will someone post a new topic? If this carries on much longer I might actually have to do some work!

  128. on 21 Oct 2008 at 11:35 am Peedo stalker Sam

    Yeah, Nelson, where are you? Too busy “selling out” again?

  129. on 21 Oct 2008 at 12:04 pm crafty_carmen

    I hope you’re happy Nelson, I’ve just made my company £48.15 inc VAT.

  130. on 21 Oct 2008 at 12:40 pm DavesNotHere

    How the fuck did we get here from Poor Piper.

    I blame Nelson. Lazy cunt.

  131. on 21 Oct 2008 at 12:49 pm Far-Q

    The best place for any spare cash is probably “any other currency”.

    The British people really don’t seem to have noticed the rather stark devaluation in the £ over the past few months, do they? Broon has hidden that one quite well – so far.

    [themajorityparty], Chelmsford, United Kingdom

    I have exchanged all of themajorityparty’s money into Zimbabwean dollars for him, where it’ll be nice and safe.
    Tw@t.

  132. on 21 Oct 2008 at 1:56 pm If you don't like abortions

    why don’t you go and live in the clinic and rescue foeti from the buckets.

    Or shoot the people who work at the clinics, which seems to be a favourite of the USA pro-lifers. Twisted logic fuckers that they are.

  133. on 21 Oct 2008 at 2:18 pm tlumacz

    Sir,
    I have just returned to my desk to eat my lunch and guffaw my way through the latest SYB post, covering my notepad and keyboard in baguette crumbs and ennui. THIS IS NOT WHAT I ASKED FOR. I thought selling-out at least helped create efficiency and reliability, like the trains. Please treat us as we deserve to be treated.
    Yours,
    Tlumacz, READING, Berks (not England)

  134. on 21 Oct 2008 at 2:28 pm AndyS

    Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

    who are you? the fucking sphinx?

    relax, i’m the blue rajah

  135. on 21 Oct 2008 at 2:37 pm Dr Shade

    relax, i’m the blue rajah

    Then shouldn’t you have some blue in your costume you effete fork-flinger?

    Relax, I’m Perfect Tommy

  136. on 21 Oct 2008 at 2:42 pm Pep

    Look, I don’t come here for philosophical arguments. I come here to laugh at people inferior to myself. I want what I paid for Nelson! (what do you mean no one else has to pay?)

    Look, here’s some people being nasty about muslims

    http://uk.tv.yahoo.com/blog/article/32109/

    Though the argument is a complex one as many posters are finding. Should radical muslim clerics be allowed to kill X-Factor contestants? No. Should everyone on X-Factor die? Yes.

  137. on 21 Oct 2008 at 2:43 pm bigruss

    i never got the whole god thing really. just sounds like a load of old bollocks to me.

    i also think women should have the right to decide what they choose to do with their body.

    in addition, i think john is a complete cunt.

    thanks.

  138. on 21 Oct 2008 at 2:49 pm AndyS

    see, i can respect people’s right to believe in an all-seeing deity. it’s just a shame that the majority of them can’t respect my right to *not* believe in one.

    especially when they know that come my day of reckoning i’ll be apologising to the big beardy chief and then pushed down to the very doors of hell and forced to spend all eternity with a spike up my bottom.

  139. on 21 Oct 2008 at 3:00 pm God

    Oh for Me’s Sake! Enough with the philosophical kvetching already.

    ‘bortion shmortion… I AM THE LORD THY GOD. Now maketh me chuckle or I shalt turn you all into beetles, yea verily.

    Oy-oy-oy, these Goyim! What did I do to deserve this? Feh!

  140. on 21 Oct 2008 at 3:20 pm satan

    Oi! God! Stay out of my domain.

  141. on 21 Oct 2008 at 3:25 pm Kelvin

    Stephen Green of pressure group Christian Voice said: “Bendy-buses, like atheism, are a danger to the public at large.

    “I should be surprised if a quasi-religious advertising campaign like this did not attract graffiti.

    “People don’t like being preached at. Sometimes it does them good, but they still don’t like it.”

    No he didn’t, he said

    Waa waa waa waa waa waa waa waa waa what about me? Jesus can’t touch me in my special place if he doesn’t exist!

  142. on 21 Oct 2008 at 3:27 pm AndyS

    actually satan, if you want to get ecumenical about it, you can’t exist if God doesn’t, so it’s clearly *his* domain.

  143. on 21 Oct 2008 at 3:29 pm satan

    “He” is merely “My” fiction to keep you lot from doing any real work. Now bow down in gratitude.

  144. on 21 Oct 2008 at 3:32 pm Bod

    Sorry, wrong debate.

    Farmer Barleymow touched my winkie.

  145. on 21 Oct 2008 at 3:34 pm satan

    Anyway, about this Pink Floyd chappie…..

  146. on 21 Oct 2008 at 3:34 pm Far-Q

    Stephen Green of pressure group Christian Voice said: “Bendy-buses, like atheism, are a danger to the public at large.

    “And Christianity, like a badger is furry.”

    I should be surprised if a quasi-religious advertising campaign like this did not attract graffiti.

    Is he promoting the defacing of private property? Just wait, there’ll be gangs of hooded christians storming round London spray painting fish tags on buses before the day is out.

    “People don’t like being preached at. Sometimes it does them good, but they still don’t like it.”

    Hmmm. This is a bloke from Christian Voice who goes round preaching at people that they shouldn’t do anything he doesn’t like.
    Stephen Green is a gangrenous Gnu’s gusset.

  147. on 21 Oct 2008 at 3:37 pm Blind Pew

    Farmer Barleymow touched my winkie.

    the devil made him do it.

  148. on 21 Oct 2008 at 3:38 pm satan

    …thought you’d like to know he’s settling in well.

  149. on 21 Oct 2008 at 3:42 pm Bod Almighty

    the devil made him do it.

    That’s what he told me! He also told me not to tell anyone, or God and Topsy Turvy would be angry at Aunt Flo and would stone a paediatrician to death.

  150. on 21 Oct 2008 at 3:47 pm Blind Pew

    Nikki

    A young gentleman by the name of ‘White working class heterosexual male’ left a great comment. But what really impressed me was his cunning manipulation of the ‘location’ section. He didn’t put in his location, but instead wrote ‘is that a crime’? For those of you whose heads this masterpiece of Wildean wit sails over, his signature in full reads;

    ‘White working class heterosexual male, is that a crime?’

    What the Christing fucknuts would we do without heroes like this?

    Some people rest on their success. Some People, when they reach the barriers of convention, just keep surging forwards…

    Working White Heterosexual Male, despised by NuLabour.”

    Once might have been luck. Twice…?

  151. on 21 Oct 2008 at 4:02 pm Working White Heterosexual Male, wanking as I write this.

    Yes.

  152. on 21 Oct 2008 at 4:38 pm Kowalski

    Stephen Green is a gangrenous Gnu’s gusset.

    and a lying one, he says “Now Richard Dawkins, whose anti-Christian zeal knows little bounds, is to finance the doomed venture.” whereas in fact the blessed Mr Dawkins didnt have to stump up a penny, according to the Beeb, who most will consider to be a better source of facts tahn some loon who spends his time on his knees in front of a semi naked bloke whose arms are spread wide!
    I have the CV website saved in my favourites under “comedy”..always good for a giggle

  153. on 21 Oct 2008 at 4:44 pm crafty_carmen

    @ Far-Q

    Excellent use of
    alliteration. Have a
    summer’s banana.

    I’m so bored I just wrote a haiku.

    I’m going back to the country of origin.

    Relax, I’m a banana.

  154. on 21 Oct 2008 at 4:44 pm ZX Spectrum (48K)

    10 PRINT “Bendy-buses, like atheism, are a danger to the public at large.”;
    20 GOTO 10

    RUN

    .
    ..

    C Nonsense in BASIC, 0:1

  155. on 21 Oct 2008 at 4:45 pm Buzz Killington

    One wag extends the debate on Omar Bakri’s opinion of the X-Factor:

    who gives a shit x factor is a load of old bollocks anyway.

    Posted by: nickreber on Tue Oct 21 02:14PM |

    Classic.

  156. on 21 Oct 2008 at 4:48 pm Violent Rapist and Serial Killer, is that a crime????

    .

  157. on 21 Oct 2008 at 4:55 pm Dingleberry

    “Bendy-buses, like atheism, are a danger to the public at large… I should be surprised if a quasi-religious advertising campaign like this did not attract graffiti… People don’t like being preached at. Sometimes it does them good, but they still don’t like it.”
    Stephen Green of Christian Voice

    Well… now we know where Topsy Turvy ‘works’.

  158. on 21 Oct 2008 at 4:56 pm Dr Shade

    Bendy-buses, like atheism, are a danger to the public at large

    Okay, I get the inherent danger to the public of bendy buses – you inadvertantly step in front of one and you’ll pretty much know for certain one way or another whether there is a God/Heaven/etc. of not.

    But I can’t quite get my head around the danger to the public posed by atheism…

    Does atheism make you more likely to spray bullets Columbine-like at your classmates or run amok in the local shopping mall with a chainsaw? Does the lack of belief in a beardy hippy with omnipotent powers somehow imbue you with fatally infectious Bad AIDs?

    Is atheism the philosophical equivalent of a forrun peedo knifecriming hoodie-wearing badger coming over here and stealing our jobs and wimmin and endangering our public?

    Oh. Wait. Now I get it. Atheism is anti-Christianity, and if its anti-Christianity it must therefore be Muslim, and as we all know all Mulsims are terrorists then athiesm = terrorism and is a danger to us all!!!1!

    Obvious really.

  159. on 21 Oct 2008 at 5:15 pm Dingleberry

    “Bendy-buses, like atheism, are a danger to the public at large.”
    Stephen Green of Christian Voice

    I think Stephen dislikes bendy buses because they are not straight.

    Twat.

    I mean, really, what a proper self-righteous tiny-minded twat.

    A total bearded clam’s bearded clam.

  160. on 21 Oct 2008 at 7:44 pm Alex

    I can see why people dislike bendy buses. I can see why religious bigots with a persecution complex dislike atheists. Why the fuck anyone would jam them together in one sentence is still beyond me even after reading that article.

    Furthermore, Stephen Green would probably scream seven shades of shit out of himself if anyone, anywhere were ever to imply he was a slightly different denomination to whatever the fuck he is, yet he can’t even comprehend the basic distinction between atheist and agnostic. Go back to your Martin Luther books you Pope-loving Calvinist tosspiece.

  161. on 21 Oct 2008 at 9:14 pm Marcus

    1 – The comments about Pink Floyd were harsh. I hate grief-mongers but it IS sad. And they were a damn good band.

    2 – Stephen Green denounces preachiness. In other news, Winnie the Pooh takes a firm stance against shitting in the woods.

    3 – The message isn’t strictly atheist. I’m not sure how to feel about this – as an agnostic I prefer this message to one saying “there is no God”, but as a fair-minded human being I find it offensive that religious people aren’t required to express doubt in their ads in the same way. But I’d add that anybody who refuses to admit doubt on the Great Unanswerables is a damn sight more dangerous than a bendy bus.

  162. on 22 Oct 2008 at 9:35 am Emeritus Prof. of HYS

    Ah… but how does Stephen Green know that bendy-buses actually exist? What proof does he have that they are ‘real’ in any meaningful sense? As the sages on HYS constantly point out; there are many different views of the world and they insist that only the view held by the commentator can be confirmed as the ‘real’ one. (Which is surprisingly philosophically astute for HYS)

    Ergo, a la HYS, I suggest Stephen Green tries living in the real world.

    Furthermore, HYSers are very classical in their adherence to the pleasure principle. They often state that if life is a sensory experience with arbitary definitions of reality, then, having abandoned a search for collective meaning, we can only pursue our own individual concepts of happiness. Viz: if Stephen likes Heaven so much, why doesn’t he go and live there?

  163. on 22 Oct 2008 at 9:38 am blabla

    I think we need to be much more tolerant of poor old Joy Pattinson. In a HYS rant on What Does It Mean To Be Old, she tells us the answer:

    Its easier to answer what do I consider young. 70 year olds + can still hold down 9 – 5 jobs and what’s more are happy to do so. I think these days only those over 90 can be classified are really old. When a presidential candidate is over 70, nobody considers him too old! But tennis stars have to quit soon after 40 and models are past their best after 30! I think it depends on the individuals themselves and look how I put my words together at the grand old age of 73! It’s a Joy to reach it.

    That’s right, dear. Bless. I’m sure she’s happy. Pity about the rest of us. I’m sure she pissed off to Switzerland after realising that Oswald Mosley was a spent force in British politics.

    So, be nice to old ladies, boys and girls. Even when they say, “it was all green fields round here when I was a girl.” Even when they demand the return of breaking on the wheel for nicking a bag of sweets from the corner shop.

    And even when they spout such ignorant drivel that you would feel justified in force-feeding them rotting dog shit.

  164. on 22 Oct 2008 at 11:00 am ?

    censorship?

  165. on 22 Oct 2008 at 11:07 am skunkpussy

    They have legalised voluntary euthanasia in Switzerland.

    Maybe we can fill in an application form on Joy’s behalf?

    With the amount of personal information that she has left scattered all over the internet it should be a piece of piss…

  166. on 22 Oct 2008 at 11:46 am The Mayor of ROLLE

    I’d be up for that.

  167. on 22 Oct 2008 at 12:17 pm The Population of ROLLE

    FFS PLEASE DO THIS!

    We need the tourist Euro and no motherfucker is going to visit if they think they might meet her!

  168. on 22 Oct 2008 at 12:19 pm Dingleberry

    Jeeeeeez! HYS! They are from another planet!

    Having taken the unshakeable stance that Labour are a bunch of trough-hogging cheats (aka THE BAD GUYS), they are now having massive mental problems dealing with the fact that George Donationovitch Osbourne has been caught soliciting dodgy payments.

    Surely, they ‘reason’, the only position left for the Conservatives must be, you’ve guessed it, THE GOOD GUYS. How can good guys cheat? It does not compute. The world is not thus. Strange possibilities of a complex shifting reality threaten to disturb the comfortable simplistic view.

    The solution goes something like this… These ‘new ideas’ which jumped out of the HYSer’s Daily Mail and passed through the eyeballs, have bounced gently down their optic nerves and land in the frontal lobes of their brain. Once there, they attempt to find a suitably comprehending docking-cell to impart the facts to the HYSer’s mind. But each time this strange alien idea attempts to dock, it is violently repulsed; sending the idea pinging faster and faster round the brain in a distressing manner. At this point, primitive reality-adjusting hormones, which evolved for just such overloads, flood the brain, closing off access to the higher brain functions. While the reader remains frozen in a deep frown of confusion, the alien ideas are shunted to an emergency workshop of self-denial cells called the displacement nodal-dump. Here they are crudely friction-welded to hurriedly-assembled, acceptable ideas. These hybrid-ideas are then returned to the pacified higher brain and recycled as reasoned argument on HYS.

    So… that nice Mr Osbourne’s dodgy-dealings on HYS becomes a ‘most recommended’ landslide victory for “Arch-devil Mandleson’s plot encouraged by the biased commie BBC.”

    Anyone up for eugenics?

  169. on 22 Oct 2008 at 1:10 pm being taced for wanking as I type this

    Personally I don’t believe atheists are real.I think people just pretend they don’t believe in god to look hard.And so they aren’t mistaken for stephen green.

  170. on 22 Oct 2008 at 1:23 pm wobbegong

    Militant Millie you are indeed a very bad athist indeed and you should make your way over to receive your punishment. The paddle is waiting for you in the fridge as I write this.

  171. on 22 Oct 2008 at 2:43 pm Samwel

    Um … having scanned back through the thread I can’t work out where Stephen Green comes into it. Who the hell is he and who brought him up?

    Also, when will we get a new post to comment on? has Nelson finally given up in despair as his magnificent creation crashes down in flames when everyone starts taking everything on the site too seriously?

    And Stephen Green, whoever he might be, is a shitwanking cuntulous fuckbangle.

  172. on 22 Oct 2008 at 2:54 pm Peedo Stalker Sam

    Samwel, Stephen Green is a fucking nutjob who thinks he’s doing Christians a favour by appearing on TV and “defending” Christianity, i.e. attacking everything that isn’t Christian. I think he’s anti-abortion, anti-Islam, anti-Dawkins, anti-atheism, probably anti-gay, etc.

    It’s people like him who deserve to bask in the warmth of Satan’s ejaculation.

  173. on 22 Oct 2008 at 3:24 pm Nelson

    What the fuck is going on in here eh? I leave you alone for two days and this happens.

    I’m going to have to ask Granny to come and keep an eye on you next time I’m away aren’t I?

    John: If you want me to explain to you (politely and clearly) why your pro-life position is untenable, drop me an email (see “Contact” page). I’m not polluting this place further.

    Now, tidy up all that cat sick.

  174. on 22 Oct 2008 at 4:29 pm millie

    Wobbegong, let’s leave it till Sunday morning so I can receive it with the sound of church bells in the background ;)

  175. on 26 Oct 2008 at 8:26 pm Test

    [blockquote]testing[/blockquote]

    [quote]testing[/quote]

  176. on 26 Oct 2008 at 8:26 pm Test

    Arse.

    testing

  177. on 26 Oct 2008 at 9:06 pm Far-Q

    Well Done

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