Permanently Bewildered and Plain Weird17 Oct 2008 09:25 am
By Alex

Brilliant. There’s a thread saying “Dear Have Your Sayers, have you ever typed anything ill thought-out, offensive or generally cretinous into your computer?”

my biggest blunder is trusting the spell check doesn’t matter if im drunk or sober it still spells it american. BBC HYS website and even the Gov.UK website both have american spell checks, it may not be an email blunder but it’s a blunder nether the less.
Have your say Rejected, Dover England UK E.U. world order

Trust me. It’s the lesser of the two evils.

Never mind emails, it’s when you talk to someone on msn and agree to go out with them when you’ve had too much to drink!

Trying to back-pedal when you’ve sobered up can be very difficult….
Anita MK, United Kingdom

This comment was back-to-back with this one:

could’ve done with using this technology a year ago. I was drunk late at night and asked out a girl via msn messenger that I knew liked me, but I didnt feel the same. I ended up on going on the worst date in my life! haha!
[aNonnaMoose], Stratford upon Avon, United Kingdom

Aww.

39 Responses to “Romance”

  1. on 17 Oct 2008 at 9:50 am Naughtyhippo

    These people are neophytes. Where are the naked pictures?!?

  2. on 17 Oct 2008 at 9:52 am Naughtyhippo

    And what happened to good old fashioned getting drunk AND GOING OUTSIDE? Who am I going to knife crime now?

  3. on 17 Oct 2008 at 9:53 am Naughtyhippo

    And if it’s the E.U. World Order, why does it have american spell checker?

    It’s the joos, isn’t it?

  4. on 17 Oct 2008 at 9:54 am Naughtyhippo

    I AM SPEAK YOU’RE BRANES REJECTED!

  5. on 17 Oct 2008 at 9:55 am Felna

    Am I missing something here, surely the spell check is supplied by the local computer not the website?

    In which case the twat has his computer set wrong, but is blaming the BBC and the Government for his own ineptitude.

    Bet it was set up for him by a gay muslim paedo…

  6. on 17 Oct 2008 at 9:55 am Rich(MMath)(Oxon)

    thERE should of been a gOgGLE thing To sTOP YO UTYPING when your two enRAGED!!1!!” soRT i tout Gordon CLOWN!!

  7. on 17 Oct 2008 at 10:00 am Peedo stalker Sam

    I want to get Have Your Say rejected (a man whose name marks him out as a moderation martyr) and have him brutally crushed to death by being tied underneath the wrong end of a see-saw with Vanessa Feltz on it.

  8. on 17 Oct 2008 at 10:07 am arsebanana

    Never mind spell checking. Could the twat-o-tron be re-engineered to detect how fucked a poster is in a number of categories such as mental, retard, racist, paedo etc. and then assign a star rating in each category together with an overall faunal vag assessment?

  9. on 17 Oct 2008 at 10:11 am Peedo stalker Sam

    If you think it is likely that you may do something damaging to yourself or others, or even something criminal when drunk, then DON’T DRINK. Being drunk and the things you do are all your responsibility. If you need a “nanny” to watch your emails due to your alcohol use, you are probably an alcoholic and need help.

    Cobbett Rides Again, Malvern, United Kingdom

    It’s funny you should have a name which mentions riding again, because your high horse probably needs some attention. Just look at its muscly buttocks and big, strong hind legs. You’re getting those urges again, aren’t you? You know that it’s fun to accuse most of the world of being an alcoholic in a fun, lighthearted topic, but if they ever found out about your secret, you’d just die, wouldn’t you? And you know the way you’d go as well. Suffocating from all that horse spunk going down the wrong way. It’d be a tragedy, but you can’t think of anything you’d like more, can you?

  10. on 17 Oct 2008 at 10:28 am Briantist

    Have your say Rejected … the spell checker is in your Browser, you utter fool.

  11. on 17 Oct 2008 at 10:56 am shoelaith

    my biggest blunder is trusting the spell check doesn’t matter if im drunk or sober it still spells it american. BBC HYS website and even the Gov.UK website both have american spell checks, it may not be an email blunder but it’s a blunder nether the less.
    Have your say Rejected, Dover England UK E.U. world order

    Poor mithter Have your thay Rejected. I have nether ether felt tho thorry for thomeone.

    Sorry that they have bonobo bottom scrapings in place of brains, I mean.

  12. on 17 Oct 2008 at 11:32 am Col John Matrix

    Who is Have Your Say Rejected trying to fucking kid by saying he uses a spell checker?

    If you can’t figure out that the problem is your own inability to set your browser or word processor to English (Not British) English instead of American English, then you should have your computer fucking taken away from you, you moron.

  13. on 17 Oct 2008 at 11:44 am tunbridge wails

    Never mind emails, it’s when you talk to someone on msn and agree to go out with them when you’ve had too much to drink!

    Trying to back-pedal when you’ve sobered up can be very difficult….
    Anita MK, United Kingdom

    Does anyone else think that Anita is actually the moniker for a 50 something groomer? and that the back-pedaling may have something with trying to explain to the police?

    Relax I’m Gary Glitter

  14. on 17 Oct 2008 at 12:26 pm Samwel

    I started reading that thread. Oh the entertaining mishaps … these … people … *snore*

  15. on 17 Oct 2008 at 12:37 pm Pedro

    If you have to be capable of basic arithmetic in order to even view your e-mails then one is left wondering how on Earth half the government are going to gain access to their inbox!

    Topsy Turvy, England, United Kingdom

    Ah, Topsy. Still a complete fud I see? The crap joke thread was elsewhere fucktard.

  16. on 17 Oct 2008 at 12:40 pm Spellchecka EU world orda

    NEXT Nulabor will be expecting us all to learn how to spell ourselves and then taxing us every time we spelt a word wrong.or right.You couldn’t mayk it up.

  17. on 17 Oct 2008 at 12:42 pm Far-Q

    my biggest blunder is trusting the spell check doesn’t matter if im drunk or sober it still spells it american.

    No, your biggest blunder is thinking a spellchecker is going to fix your English.

    That and displying your faults on the internet.

  18. on 17 Oct 2008 at 12:53 pm Dr Shade

    i told two teachers that i loved them, on separate occasions. Except i thought i was saying it to my boyfriend at boarding school

    wouldnt have been so bad if one of them hadn’t called me their office the following day to ensure that it was a mistake forcing me to mentally relive the embarrasment

    xx

    silly girl, silly place

    And if you’d only told him it wasn’t a mistake you could have passed a happy afternoon getting shagged senseless doggy-style across his desk and felched to multiple orgasms you silly girl!

    (And you’d have probably got a guaranteed A+++ in your GCSE in that subject too.)

    D’oh!

  19. on 17 Oct 2008 at 12:55 pm Dr Shade

    This chills me to the marrow.

    How long before Google start monitoring the emails we send at the behest of this government?

    [Liberty_Rose], Essex, England – not Europe!

    What the fuckitty-fucking-fuck do GOOGLE have to do with e-mails you fucking, fuckwitted fuck???

  20. on 17 Oct 2008 at 1:00 pm Throbbe

    And if you’d only told him it wasn’t a mistake you could have passed a happy afternoon getting shagged senseless doggy-style across his desk and felched to multiple orgasms you silly girl!

    (And you’d have probably got a guaranteed A+++ in your GCSE in that subject too.)

    They do a felching GCSE now? ARE SKOOLS R A JOKE PEEPLE!

  21. on 17 Oct 2008 at 1:14 pm Peedo stalker Sam

    (Dr Shade: the reason the thread exists is because gmail (an email provider run by google) will stop you from sending drunk emails as long as you’re shit at maths when you’re drunk).

    (The guy is still a turtle labia though).

  22. on 17 Oct 2008 at 1:17 pm alt-f4

    How long before Google start monitoring the emails we send at the behest of this government?

    Your emails already are monitored, twat. You demanded the government monitor emails to protect you from the terrorists and drugs dealers, remember?

    [Liberty_Rose], Essex, England – not Europe!

    Asia?

  23. on 17 Oct 2008 at 1:33 pm sm

    All of which leads neatly onto this:

    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/crime/article4959002.ece

    Well it would be neatly if I knew how to post the link…

    What better than a thread to conflate peedos and forrens in already confused minds.

  24. on 17 Oct 2008 at 1:57 pm Kelvin

    What better than a thread to conflate peedos and forrens in already confused minds.

    And here I was thinking it was only the Telegraph website that was desperately whoring its stories as linkbait.

  25. on 17 Oct 2008 at 3:08 pm Throbbe

    And these people (Muslims) are so taken with their own proprietry. I live in NYC and all the porn bookstores are run by Muslims. Maybe the NYC police should take a look at terrorist connections there. Didn’t Mohamed have a 9year old bride?

    Josh, NYC, USA

    You’ve got to admire his determination. It must have taken him months to visit every single porn shop in NYC. Not to mention the tons (NOT TONNES) of pornography he must have purchased so as not to arouse (sorry) the suspicion of the owner while he quizzed them on their religeous beliefs.

    Surely he couldn’t just have made it up like some hapless cuntbeak.

  26. on 17 Oct 2008 at 3:16 pm Alex

    And here I was thinking it was only the Telegraph website that was desperately whoring its stories as linkbait.

    Yeah, but the Times are amateurs. They only conflated Islamic terrorism, peadoism and Neo-Nazis. The Telegraph would have thrown in Illegal Immigration, the Federal EU and Militant Socialism as well.

  27. on 17 Oct 2008 at 3:27 pm Roscoe

    Aaaaah good old Joy. She’s been one of the few constants in our lives since we all met. I would be hard pressed to say anything original about her, but send my most heart felt condolences to her family.

  28. on 17 Oct 2008 at 3:59 pm Dr Shade

    (Dr Shade: the reason the thread exists is because gmail (an email provider run by google) will stop you from sending drunk emails as long as you’re shit at maths when you’re drunk).

    (The guy is still a turtle labia though).

    True – but where’s the bit that says gmail will secretly store every e-mail you send (or fail to send in a piss-riddled drunken stupour) and then, while you’re distracted by your nightly 4-hour porn-surfing, transmit them secretly across the web to the massive database of the evil, power-mad, megalomaniacal criminal mastermind Dr Google so that he can conquer the world using his knowledge that you think your boss is a gormless turd and that you very nearly accidentaly let slip to your girlfriend that you actually want to fuck her best mate up the shit-hole while your wearing a french maid’s outfit and sucking on heroin soaked satsuma?

    Relax – I’m Maxwell Smart.

  29. on 17 Oct 2008 at 4:26 pm Dies Irae

    That Telegraph story is such a plant it’s bloody laughable. Aside from anything else: if the terrorists are concerned that the police will be on the lookout for their evil secret messages, why would they then decide to hide them in something else the police are already on the lookout for?

    And besides, I KNOW the terrorists conceal their messages by using backward-masking techniques to conceal them in Jonas Brothers records.

  30. on 17 Oct 2008 at 4:51 pm Simon

    liberty rose – what continent is england in then you dumb fuck?

    silly girl – who signs off HYS posts with kisses? jesus wept

    and asking out someone you don’t fancy on messenger when drunk, is not so much making an email blunder, more failing at life

  31. on 17 Oct 2008 at 5:24 pm Kelvin

    True – but where’s the bit that says gmail will secretly store every e-mail you send (or fail to send in a piss-riddled drunken stupour) and then, while you’re distracted by your nightly 4-hour porn-surfing, transmit them secretly across the web to the massive database of the evil, power-mad, megalomaniacal criminal mastermind Dr Google

    Actually it’s right there next to every email you read in it, only they call it “contextual advertising.”

  32. on 17 Oct 2008 at 5:59 pm SpellCheckMonster

    To the cretin talking of how a lack of spellcheckers blights his life:

    1. You also need a ‘punctuation checker’. There’s such a thing known as a full stop, you know. And apostrophes were created for a reason.

    2. It’s your browser that uses an American dictionary, and not the website.

    or if i wer to write like the way your writing i would say that the problem is with the fact that YOU’RE uideas about using punctuation like fullstops are all wrong/ AND YOU’RE USIGN A n ameircan tool and you’re becomging like ZaNyLabour and Gordon Clown

  33. on 18 Oct 2008 at 1:15 am burnel

    Fuck this MSN messenger bollox. Get drunk meet someone shag them, regret it, never see them again……Top tip, if in doubt always shag at their house (incase they are scissor wielding psychotic maniacs who will stalk you throughout the planet out of love)…

  34. on 19 Oct 2008 at 10:34 am Peter

    And of course when I clicked on that link to HYS the first comment was a HILARIOUS one from our old fried Topsy Turvy…

    YOU COULDNT MAKe IT UP!!!!

  35. on 20 Oct 2008 at 11:11 am Charles Exford, Oxton

    I have a message on my phone which reads:

    “Gosh zak jus told me so much shit like how he fuckd kely while he was with me and how he didnt evan no why he took my v :-( lov u x nicole x”

    This all goes to show something, although I’m sure I don’t know what.

  36. on 20 Oct 2008 at 11:23 am Kelvin

    “Took my v” is quite a sweet way of phrasing it. It almost brings a touch of dignity to the act of clumsy penetration on the backseat of a Corsa behind the chippy.

  37. on 20 Oct 2008 at 1:45 pm Nikki

    A young gentleman by the name of ‘White working class heterosexual male’ left a great comment. But what really impressed me was his cunning manipulation of the ‘location’ section. He didn’t put in his location, but instead wrote ‘is that a crime’?

    For those of you whose heads this masterpiece of Wildean wit sails over, his signature in full reads;

    ‘White working class heterosexual male, is that a crime?’

    What the Christing fucknuts would we do without heroes like this?

  38. on 22 Oct 2008 at 11:36 am PTH

    Zak fucked me over too, physically and mentally.

  39. on 23 Oct 2008 at 1:28 pm bigruss

    zak jus told me he fuckd kely after he tk my anal v. lov u x bigruss x