Delusions of Grandeur23 Oct 2008 09:13 am
Important Complaint From The Log
By NelsonClaims the BBC is in breach of the Royal Charter. It has been brought to my attention that the BBC has recieved and is now receiving substantial amounts of funding from the European Union in breach of its charter. I must advise the BBC that all such conduct serves to breach the Treason Act.
Don’t just sit there. Phone the fucking queen you dick.
324 Responses to “Important Complaint From The Log”
Off with their heads!
Relax, it’s just me desperately clutching at straws.
They still pay respects to the queen by covering their genitals in stamps before lovemaking. It is in all BBC workers contracts.
Relax, I killed Diana
No you didn’t you lying bastard!
Yes he fuggin’ did! And the CIA! And Prince Phillip, you lying fugger, and the Queen, and the BNP, and the MI5, and the USA, and OFWatt, and … (cont. page 94)
Relax, I’m a sex pest.
I was going to seriously investigate this. Then I noticed that the BBC’s Royal Charter actually begins:
Do I get a present? Is the Queen getting presents? She’s already got loads of presents! Way too confusing. Anyway, the Charter specifically states as one of the 6 aims of the BBC “bringing the UK to the world and the world to the UK”. So I’m hoping for a week in Tuscany, hmm BBC? Or maybe a Russian mail-order bride?
Nail em up I say!
NAIL SOME SENSE INTO EM!
Nelson: Trying desperately to be a British Sarah Palin.
Is that the Treason Act 1351 or 1702?
Cunt.
The one that means if you even think about another country you should be locked in the Tower of London and rubbed with a cheesegrater
Mmmmm, almost worth treasoning for that then!
Hmm, this claim seems to originate with convicted fraudster and international standing-joke, Ashley Mote MEP. You know? He’s the one that got kicked out of UKIP for being a cheating dolescum and then joined the Identity, Tradition and Sovereignty group with Mussolini and Le Pen. Whatever he says is bound to be true.
And Mote claims to have reported this treasonous behaviour to the Metropolitan Police.
And he seems to have been roundly ignored.
I’ve just looked at his website – he seems to spend his time these days reporting people to the police, who then file his complaints in the round file under the desk. If he had half a brain, he’d be dangerous.
I’m with him.
Perhaps we can line up Chris Moyles and Steve Right for the first beheadings.
Followed by everyone from MoneyBox and You and Yours.
And I almost forgot the git that spoils my Sunday listening pleasure by spewing Go4It all over me…
He won’t, ‘cos she’s a fucking German.
Fucking Germans! Coming over here, taking our throne and letting the BBC spread EU propaganda!
DavesNotHere: Could you not just turn the radio off when the shit stuff comes on?
With you on Moyles though, the fetid finch fadge.
Hands off “Quote Unquote” though. They’re mine for the kicking. There’s a special circle of hell reserved for those tedious bastards.
I even heard one of those BBC newsreaders speak a French word the other day. It’s a conspiracy I tell you! Before we know it our kids will be multilingual, open to other cultures and there’ll be fewer wars. Who wants to live in a world like that!! It’s treason!
quote/unquote is a veritable treasure trov e of wit and amusement next to thewritestuff
My R4 favourite is ‘Bells on Sunday’. (It’s London’s St Clement Danes this weekend, 5.43am.)
hahahahah we’re all a bunch of Radio 4 duffers!
Can’t believe the painful dreck that is You and Yours has escaped so far, although frankly I hardly hear it these days what with work and all. I do like some of the weirder 11pm comedy stuff and I miss one frankly demented show, ‘Radio 9′, in particular.
That said Count Arthur Strong can go and take an overdose of his heart medicine, the misanthropic old turd.
Rod Wrongnob – What would I have to moan about if I did that?
only for 2 mins in the early hours of sunday morning, rest of the time it’s hardcore pirate stuff
BTW… May I draw your attention to the SYB membership rulebook Section IV Rule 7 which states that no memebr of SYB may listen to Radio Two between the hours of 6AM and 7PM unless it is for the purpose of cynical jeering and masochistic rage inducement.
I mean to say, can you look at the list below without physically cringing? If you can, you’re one sick puppy.
07:30 Terry Wogan
09:30 Ken Bruce
12:00 Jeremy Vine (aka ‘HYS on the radio’)
14:00 Steve Wright in the Afternoon
17:05 Chris Evans Drive Time
You missed off the pissed old bat that is Shhharah “yer me best mate you know that, bleeeeurggggh” Kennedy.
Dont forget the 7-8 pm slot, filled with folky wimsy or ancient 33′s filled with scratches. The genius of Radcliffe & Maconie is only allowed from 8-10(a crime I tell ya, up there with knifing & peedo-ism) Then dross again
I love this. Nelson mocks someone for their bizarre complaint about the BBC, and the thread immediately descends into complaints about the BBC.
I reckon he’s probably refering to Strictly Come Dancing here.
It’s post modern, innit?
The last comment was meant to reply to Alex.
I should have refreshed before I posted.
Hahaha, the ‘genius of Maconie’.
Hee hee.
It was the Queen making the phone call. The BBC will be closed down in weeks and its anchormen hung til they be dead dead dead – mark my words!
The beeb might be misbehaving, but at least Queenie has a son she can be proud of.
and we have our Gordon Clown.
I love Joy so much, I’ve subscribed to her RSS feed. I know this is irrelevant but it’s fucking insane so I’m not sure it’s relevant to anything.
“Yes I have changed my spending habits to the extent I recently returned two jackets and got my money back. The ideal solution is to leave the tickets on the garments, take care wearing them and when you lack funds, take them back. Be careful to keep the bill. It amounts to nothing more than others having tried them on so many times that they were not new when you bought them anyway! I also live on pasta, share left-overs with my dogs so they don’t suffer as they are not responsible for funds.Joy”
Two initial thoughts:
- How do the people of ROLLE take to an elderly British lady wandering around with price labels hanging off her? Is mental healthcare provision that poor that nobody’s thought to help her?
- I’m pretty sure dogs aren’t supposed to eat pasta.
Dont forget the 7-8 pm slot, filled with folky wimsy or ancient 33’s filled with scratches.
You mean there are things on Radio 2 other than Mike Harding? Why?
@tiny clanger
I am so chuffed to find that I am not the only one that wants to throw that cunting cunt show, Count Arthur Strong, off a very high cliff.
Does anybody seriously think he is even vaguely amusing? Cunts
I listen to that too! With the volume turned all the way down.
I have to admit to a small amount of Wogan listening, but when I hear that archaeopteryx’s front arse, Sarah Green, wittering on just before the Wogan segment, I want to punch a hole in her face. And mine. And any face-possessors in the immediate vicinity.
Imagine a digest of the Daily Mail read out to you by your most hated posh relative for over an hour, interspersed with terrifyingly shit music, and you’re halfway to the horror of her show.
Jeremy Vine’s voice is frighteningly similar to Chris Morris’ voice as the news presenter in the Day Today. And he’s a mermaid’s minge.
a mermaid’s minge? are we diversifying? ace, there’s a whole new world of fanny abuse we’ve got. huh huh fanny abuse.
You’re all a bunch of cocks for complaining about the radio.
“Urgh… Wogan makes me want to puke. Steve Wright has a voice that would cause abortions… urrrrghhhhhh”
If you don’t like the radio, try turning it off and talking to yourself in the style of what you’d like to hear on the radio. And when the kids look at you in a funny way, just explain that it’s for their own good.
Well if we are diversifying into the realms of fantasy etc, may I humbly suggest that each of the X Factor contestants is a teeny tiny twisted pterodactyls’s twat.
Relax, I can’t spell dinosaurs.
If Tonymac is brave enough to admit to a small amount of Wogan listening, I’ll admit to being enough of a cunt to see the humour in Count Arthur Strong. Not side-splitting mirth, but vaguely amusing.
But I can see why many might listen with the volume turned all the way down.
I vote mermaid’s minge top of the fanny abuse charts. It has a fishy whiff the others lack.
Those responsible for the anachronistic pile of shite that is “Thought For The Day” should be shot in the face until they’ve had enough, and then be made to live in Edmonton.
Tried that with the TV. Basically off all evening. If only there was somewhere I could complain to about the dreadful state of the programming on the BBC.
Ken Bruce – Twat trying to be Wogan
Jeremy Vine – Twat’s twat
Steve Wright – Don’t get me started
As for Moyles. F@cking Moyles. A Sulphurous Sphinx’s Sphincter. A Ghastly Griffon’s Gash. A Pustulant Pterodactyl’s Pudenda.
Anyone in any doubt about how I feel about Moyles?
Careful… That comment’s getting close to ‘if you hate the BBC so much why don’t fuck off and live in Russia?”
obviously only a twat would listen to, say, Steve Wright everyday if they hated it. But sometimes, for example when R4 is doing an in-depth report on rectal cancer stats, you have to find an alternative and the choices can get perilous.
Eg Classic FM… hit the ClassicFM preset button and you’ve got a 50% chance of getting Mozart and a 50% chance of getting (crosses himself, turns round three times, spits on the floor) S..Si..Simon B..Bates.
If Bates is there, you have to try Wogan… If he’s ‘entertaining’ the rougher end of the trench, then you have to head into the hinterland of Local Radio and may God go with you when you do.
Now I’m sure there are alternatives to listening to mediocre pap, I could drive to work singing, masturbating, gurning, etc but sometimes I just want to listen to some pleasant music on the way to work (and my wreck of a car only has a radio) Do any of your listeners have any suggestions to my TOG dilemma, Terry?
Back to the topic in question, does the fact that a lot of schools are being rebuilt with some EU funding (yes, yes, I know we receive less than we give, and we’re paying £5m every four weeks to move billions of MEPs back and forward from Strasbourg to Brussels, and all the inbred French farmers are fucking fistfuls of Common Agricultural Policy funds at our expense etc, etc) mean that our children are all guilty of treason for learning in a NeoLiberal PC gone mad fascist establishment and should be killed to death immediately?
I’m confused.
p.s. Chris Moyles is a scrofulous salamander’s snatch and ruined the Sixth Sense for me by revealing the twist before I’d had a chance to see it. Knowing that Bruce Willis was wearing a wig throughout the entire film was heartbreaking.
you could enjoy, as i do, radio hys, otherwise known as victoria derbyshire’s phone-in on radio 5.
i say enjoy, i mean go puce-faced in despair at yet another succession of mummified minotaur’s mimsys get airtime they don’t deserver.
Now now Andy, yelling at the radio may feel good as a short-term release of tension and anger, but in the long term it’s addictive and it turns you into an ‘capslock’ HYS poster. Quit while you can.
Can I just add that HYS have just released an album?
A sure fire hit, I’m sure you’ll agree.
“Does anybody seriously think he is even vaguely amusing?”
Yes.
But I listen to him on iPlayer, so I can’t really comment about whether he’s any good on the radio.
nah, nah, i can, like, you know, handle it, it’s only every now and then.
I’m with AndyS on the R5 Derbyshire show – makes Jeremy Vine look like a cross between Isiah Berlin and George Steiner (despite them being forrin and that). I’ll also put my head above the parapet and admit to a fondness for Cunt Arthur Strong, though the best is surely Mags Bags and Fags. Steve Wright is, and always will be, a cameltoe on a dachshund wearing a diaper.
Should councils stop funding speed cameras?
umm?
twisted hys logic:
alex ferguson got off speeding by saying he needed a poo
becomes everyone speeds because they need a poo
becomes if we have more toilets then people won’t need to speed because there will be less distance between them and far less chance of being caught short
genius, i think you’ll agree
You see, everyone’s going about this the wrong way:
If you I hate Moyles so much, why doesn’t he fuck off and live in a shit-smeared scrape in the ground in a war zone?
Oh ffs. you/I
Incidentally, that’s also how the baker got brown hands.
I’ll get my coat.
*Shudder* My brain erased that particular gem from my memory as a defence mechanism. You, sir, shall be getting the bill from my shrink.
I’m of the opinion that Steve Wright must have employed an army of private detectives to dig up the dirt on the Directors of the BBC. Whatever they’ve found must be pretty powerful stuff, as it’s the only possible explanation for his continuing broadcasting career.
It’s like drugs innit. We should petition gORdOn BroWN and ZaNuLaBore to criminalise any attempt by Steve to access radio transmitter. Listening to his show is merely a passport to harder imbecility, like listening to Chris Moyles or, heaven forfend, Fern Cotton.
We should all write to the BBC in bold green ink to complain at this injustice.
Dear BBC,
Why oh why oh why oh why is Steve Wright still alive?
Your felchingly, etc…
I will now return to my corner to curl-up, gibber and rock uncontrollably.
Nope. This, and Victoria Derbyshire, are merely HYS-lite on the radio. The real stuff, the good stuff, is on Stephen Nolan’s weekend phone-on on Radio 5.
It’s wonderful – once they had an “expert” on who claimed that the BBC pushed their atheist agenda through the medium of Eastenders and then actually said “if you like atheism so much, you should go and live in North Korea”. It routinely has callers dismissing chemical castration for peedoers and offering to do the real thing themselves.
Unmissable. Unless you happen to be out doing thigs. Or not listening.
Fern Cotton on the radio? bit like putting Tony Benn in silent porn.
Wonderful, Vine’s guest today is a woman who’s never been on the internet before – she’s going to try and set up an email account live. Now THAT’s unmissable.
HYS are going very very safe and slightly cryptic with the new thread offering…
A small prize will be awarded to the SYBer who spots the first post linking this question this to forced repatriation.
it’s not esther rantzen is it? she was on r4 last night facebooking for the first time.
marcus brigstock is rapidly approaching punchableness
Dingleberry – not quite what you meant, but look at this guy:
These people interest me a lot: they understand the clichéd nature of HYS, and yet they like to bait it and post comments prompting it.
I think people that try to engage HYS-ers and/or make comments about them on HYS should be mocked also.
AndyS – I take your NuLabour Slave, and raise you an EU propaganda machine…
in the ‘should the government leave you, the parent, to tell your children that sex is bad & dirty’ thread:
6 (six) people think this gibbon’s snatch is talking sense ffs.
I have a sad sad sad sad sad desire to sartorially ‘win’ HYS. This…
This is a thing of beauty:
I dunno… would you fish a fifty pound note covered in tramp’s poo and binge-vomit out of the bowl? And would it make you smile that the council was redistributing cash in such a sick fashion?
Yes. Yes I would.
@poolace – with your teeth?
It’s a week to payday and I’m gagging for a pint, I’d consider it.
It truly is
Yep, I have to admit I’d be surprised by instant education. But not as surprised as I’d be if I met you in the flesh and you weren’t a Slutty Siren’s Slit.
Homosexual Agenda:
7pm-9pm: Cottaging.
9pm-11pm: Nice cup of tea, with biscuit.
“As a Christian do you really think that I want my children indoctrinated.”
Hahahahahahahhhahhaaahahah. Hahahhahah. Hahahahaha.
You pheonix phannie.
safer than some of the places they’ve stuck it
Is that like ‘very, very sexually educated’.
Compare
And contrast
What’s your favourite time?
I love this. SYB moderator Alex, is this you trolling them. It’s borderline genius.
Shit. I thought Fridays were Rimming from 7pm. This is all because they removed Felching from Wednesday’s Agenda. Now I’ve brought the wrong kit.
Will I have to do it in my vest and pants?
You’re not a member of the Westboro Baptist Church by any chance? It’s ok to indoctrinate children into believing there’s no fags in heaven because God hates poofs, right?
Yes. Yes I would.
Back in 1998 there were a bunch of cunts who had researched the Maastricht Treaty and similarly had discovered that those who signed it have broken the Treason Act and should be punished “to the full extent of the law” – as they say, meaning “hanged by the neck until dead”.
Pity they never actually bothered reading the Maastricht Treaty though. but it did give me some pleaseure to point out page one to them where it had been signed by the queen. “So, you’re saying the queen should be hanged? Well, I’d agree with that, but not for signing the Maastricht Treaty. Just for being the queen is good enough reason.”
What am I going to smoke? There’d better be crack at least or I’m going to be well upset.
Are there bendy buses in heaven? How much is the fine from a celestial speed camera? Do the clocks go back ‘beyond the veil’? Should God pay the license fee? Is the BBC the heretical product of athism? Is Chris Moyles the anitchrist aiming to drag us down into the abyss? Would you take money from a toilet if God told you to?
We’ll be discussing all these things, today, on Richard and Judy, so give us a call. ‘Heaven, the BBC and YOU’… we’re waiting for your call.
We have a winner!
Mohammhed allah BehenChoud = scrofulous pseudonymic scrotum
and:
“That time will be when all Mosques are demolished, and ALL muslims, polish and any other economical freeloading parasites are banished from Britain.”
Laughing At Lefties
You, Sir, are a cunt.
@far-Q
Mohammhed allah BehenChoud has a puppet-brother it seems.
ooooooooooh deja vu
And:
“That time will be when all immigrunts are deported back to where they crawled from.”
Laughing At Lefties
Recommended by 11 people
You, Sirs, are all cunts.
I’m going to have to stop looking at the HYS site for a while, or I may have to start posting on HYS. And then there’d be no going back.
Do these people actually believe that changing the clocks makes the night last longer? Actually,no, don’t answer that
Leeeeeeve it, Far-Q, ‘e’s not werf it!
‘old me coat, I’m gonna fuckin’ ‘ave ‘im.
Cahm on you slag lets ‘av it.
Far-Q, I ain’t wastin’ anotha nite in fukin A+E waitin 4 U. Nah SHUT IT! ‘e’s HYS. ‘e’s nothing.
Far-Q and Dicky Madeley. As a resident of the more northern part of England (not UK) I take great exception to you use of fuckin’ and fuckin when trying to use a cockerney accent. May one suggest replacing the ‘u’ with an ‘a’ to guarantee an authentic sound?
SYB has moderators?
ha! i can do italics
wobbegong, fackin shat it you norvern slahg
Or as they say up here;
Howay man, are ye a macem or a shortlifter like?
@wobbegong.
I was going for a much more generic, thames-estuary, essex-english, urban-drawl common to many of the larger uk urban-centers, perhaps something close to Ali ‘is it cos I is black’ G, rather than the hap’uls-n-pears, corbliyumee, as you say, cockerknee gee-zarh with his cock-uls and whelwks what would insist that Far-Q is, ‘undowtedlee, a Fahkin’ Cant, an’ nah mistake, guv-ah-nah.
Knees up. Old Kent Road. Anyone?
You called?
No, that’s not me. It must be one of the several thousand fucking million other people also called Alex.
Incidentally, this site doesn’t have “moderators”. It has Nelson. Nelson can delete, edit and orwellify anything he fucking wants to, and reserves the right to abuse the privilege. Me, Kelvin and Wellington are allowed to write posts with our own jokes (which he can and does arbitrarily replace with his own), which he will then publish when he bloody well gets round to it.
Yeah, never thought this site was much for ‘moderation’.
People post comments from HYS, which certainly aren’t moderate.
And you post comments from us lot, you [expletive deleted]
If you love Europe so much why don’t you go live there:
Could this be the Colonel’s real name? -
The ‘What is your favourite time?’ HYS is a thing of beauty. All the time the BBc tries to stir the cretins up with questions like ‘Do you think Muslims should be given free houses?’, but the questions that really get them going are irrelevances like ‘Would you like a piece of cake?’
In breach of the royal fucking Charter……….Right that’s it…Off with their heads.
On the subject of HYS baiting, I enter with my cringingly unfunny effort:
“Certainly not the last hour trying to assemble a flat pack chest of drawers.
I couldn’t make it up!
Brown And Out, Nu-Lie-Bore land”
Relax, I’m an Ikea salesman
Since 1916. That’s less than a century, you warty wyvern’s wangpouch.
Ooh, yes please, as long as it’s a piece of proper English cake, made by sturdy English bakermen (and bakerwomen, before any feminists get angry with me!), using sturdy cholesterol-laden English ingredients measured out in proper IMPERIAL English measures!!!!!111
You see? Being an international financial power gives you some control over, er, international finance. Who’d've thunk it?
I’ve heard that the EU are going to require all clocks in Europe, and the UK, to use French numbers on thier dials. Watches too.
Anyone remember Eerie Indiana?
Let’s get rid of Daylight Savings Time and lose as many of the numpties who think it’s an EU conspiracy into an alternate dimension.
one hundred drams of tea cake, please, before some faceless eurocrat bans it and tells me I’ve got to eat raw garlic and drink horse piss so as not to upset the effing French.
I see in my morning paper those vile frogs have overturned our version of Agincourt and now claim it was a ‘war crime’ because we carpet bombed them with napalm and called them rude names or something… well they can fuck off, do you hear? We’re not going to take it anymore. We are a proud race, with a proud history. And for ONCE it is time to say NO! This day is called the twenty-fourth of October,
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a-tiptoe when the day is named,
And rouse him at the name of UKIP.
He that shall see this day and live t’old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say “The BBC is committing treason”:
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars
And say “The temperature should be in Fahrenheit.”
Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot,
But he’ll remember with advantages
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words
Clarkson the King, Littlejohn and Davidson,
Churchill and Beckham, Griffin and Moyles,
Be in their flowing cups freshly remembered.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And October the 24th shall ne’er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he today that has a rant with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now abed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their kilos cheap whiles any speaks
That whinged with us upon the internet!
shit! It’s the 25th, isn’t it?
And I’m having trouble pasting the link to the telegraph’s Colonel-Marmalade-Stirring article about agincourt. oh well I’m a king, and an English king at that, so fuck off.
TFLDR
But well done anyway.
Too fucking long?
Too fucking long?
There’s some guy ‘ere reckons my ‘enry V speech is, and I quote, ‘too fucking long’. Only one of the central bleedin’ pillars of English culture, isn’t it? Only one of the most quoted, oft-time used, pieces of prose in English history. A failsafe in times of adversity, a definition of English pride and symbol of our national survival.
Too Fucking LONG?
Right… you’re bard.
Exactly!
(I do have more to say on the subject but I know I’d only get a TFLDR response.)
@Peedo Stalker Sam
Polonius: [interupting the actor] This is too long.
Hamlet: [furious] It shall to the barbers with your beard. Prithee, say on; He’s for a jig, Or a tale of bawdry, Or he sleeps. Say on…
It’s worse than that, we’re all going to have to use Arabic numerals. Just another liberal nuLiarBore scheme to appease Muslims. What’s wrong with good ENGLISH numbers.
You couldn’t make it up etc etc.
Oh god, I wish they’d open a HYS asking these spackers if we should use arabic numerals.
@tłumacz
Joy of ROLLE is a legend:
“Yes someone I know did change their identity. It is very simple. Joy
Joy Pattinson, ROLLE, Switzerland”
Anyone else think ‘Joy’ is on the lam? Wouldn’t be surprised if she’s actually a post-op Lucan.
” MPs know full well GMT+2 all year round would save 100s of lives (mostly small children.) -Yet they choose to kill children to pander to the farming lobby, and for a few free meals piad for by the US owned agri-corps.
British MPs are beneath contempt.
Sarah Plankin, Chaville ”
So British (not English) Standard Time is all a conspiracy by the alliance of paedophiles and farmers! You could make it up!!
From the telegraph’s atheist bus blog:
Repent sinners, for when the egalitarian dictatorship of the EU arrives it’ll round up the atheists.
Obviously not the soviet part of the EU that thinks that religion is the opiate of the masses. They’ll be rounding up the christians and feeding them to lions.
Reality, may I introduce you to Charles Crosby. I’ll leave you two to get acquainted.
In my episode of Emmerdale, where Amos pulled me a nice frothy one and I swallowed it all down, you will note that I used my extraterristial powers of mammary recall. I never forget a face. Now where do I wrote my superfluous comments about the Polish shop ripping me off on pickled hearing aids. This country has gone to the races in a handheld carriage.
My first here:(can’t /quote won’t /quote)
That’s only the ones in Whitehall. 1 in 4 of the working population is employed in the public sector producing sweet FA. They’re kept by the other 3, who also have to fork out for 1.7M unemployed and an estimated 2M ‘off-sheet’ unemployed on incapacity benefit, etc.
Noo Labour’s overhead is over 23%. For every £1 of tax paid less than 77p is delivered as services.
Pinko Preston, London
Yes everybody in the public centre does nothing, you should know! Whereas everyone working for a private company is a hard working, a noble yeoman, prepared to Make Sacrifices for his employer, especialy in this time of hardship, which is obviously caused by all those comunists that are forever nationalising everything and building an egaletarian, just society, ie, the New Labour government.
Pinko Preston you are a twunt. A dead crabs flange. Of course public services are apparently of no use to you, and by extension anyone else, its so obvious only a gibbering idiot could see it. Who needs hospitals, schools, police, soldiers, binmen, librarians, street sweepers and all of those people who make sure society actualy functions. Look at all those soldiers in Afganistan idlly playing cards, nurses and doctors napping in the afternoon, bobbies playing football while brown people knifecrime old ladies. Unless of course you mean by ‘produce’ you mean, ‘make profits’ which is the only way anythings utility can be measured, right? Yeah, if your a dipshit. etc.
Let’s have a heated debate on Smurfs!
When he finally gets round to posting it, my one on the Boer war is going to knock ‘em dead. Some cunt called Jones keeps referring to the indigenous tribesmen as “fuzzy-wuzzies.”
From “when is your favourite time?”:
Fucknuts. That’s what happens when you use backslashes instead of forward slashes in your blockquote tags. I blame NuLieBore. Let’s try again…
From “when is your favourite time?”:
He does realise that you can’t set the clocks back in years, right?
Anyway, I looked at Geoff V’s past contributions, and it’s a veritable gold mine – if of course by “gold”, you mean “crazy bigoted paranoid bollocks”.
On “should China allow more media freedom?”:
Hahaha – do you see what he’s done there? He made us think he was talking about the actual topic in question, when in fact he was just making a dig at NuLieBore! Oh, Geoff V, you roguish dog.
On “What next for South Africa?”
Hahahaha – you’ve done it again, Geoff! My, the fun you can have with one shit joke repeated over and over again, eh?
On the Biden-Palin debate:
I thought that this whole “look – look – his middle name is Hussein – clearly he’s a terrorist” thing had died out months ago, but obviously not – every time he mentions Obama it’s as “B Hussein Obama”. I just dread to think what he’s going to do when he realises Biden’s middle name is “Robinette”.
Again on “what next for South Africa?”:
Haha – those darkies with their funny names, eh, Geoff? Seriously – how hard is Mbeki to spell? Twunt.
Anyway, I could go on like this all night, but I think I might end up knifecriming someone if I have to read any more of Geoff’s “contributions”…
1) Thatcher. Recommended by 110 people. Cunts, each and every one of them.
2) Geoff truly does think he’s a Wildean wit, and clearly felt the first pass at the joke was unappreciated.
Sadly I don’t think Oscar ever piped up at a sophisticated soiree and shouted the same bon mot twice. Because that sort of thing makes you look like a twat.
Yes Geoff, everyone’s looking at you.
3) ‘Sockpuppets’ sounds a little too much like a euphemism to me.
“So we were sitting at the Christmas dinner table, my mother, father, fiancé and I, when my father, who had been imbibing rather too much of the sherry, stood up and popped his sockpuppets onto the warming draw and roared ‘Anyone for roasted chestnuts?!?’
I didn’t know where to look.”
I’ve actually got a Dad’s Army gag pending review. It’s going to be brilliant. Well, it would’ve was going to been brilliant, had Nelson not sold out.
I like this. Objecting to the fact that in Africa they let people with vaguely exotic names that he’s too stupid to pronounce rule the country is absolutely the best kind of veiled racism.
Quality.
PS. Maybe Geoff V would prefer Africa to still have leaders with names like Smith. And “Terre’Blanche”. Anyone who did French at school can spell that.
I realise Geoff V is embracing positive change for Africa when he wishes their presidents had proper names, but I think his criticism is a little unjust. While obviously it would be preferable for everyone if they didn’t use those silly umbongo-bongo ones, who can forget magnificent, music-hall favourites such as
Canaan Sodindo Banana
Idi Amin Dada
Herman Animba Toivo ja Toivo
Haile Salassie
Shaka Zulu
and many many more. Come on Geoff! Don’t deny us our simple pleasure of making fun of the natives, they’re just like children really.
What sort of stupid name is ‘Geoffrey’ anyway? It sounds like a babboon’s fanny-fart to me.
My favourite time of day was a few hours ago, 00.45, falling asleep to the sound of the bells of St Clement Danes.
How can there not be a god?
oooh nelson hasn’t changed his clock
@Holy Millie
00.45 EST or GMT??? Tell me!!!1!
I haven’t posted in a while and was feeling left out, so I just thought I’d leave this simple missive for you all to mull over:
“Geoffrey V is a badger’s scrotum.”
Hear Ye! Hear YE! let it be know by all that GEOFFREY THE FIFTH, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Dildos and Provincial Racists and of Our other Prejudices and Misconceptions, King,
Head of the Common-Sense Brigade, Defender of the Status Quo: is a Charmless Berk.
This post has been deleted by the moderators
Nelson did actually delete one of my comments once. That might have been because I was insinuating that one of the benefits of the EU was the ability of kidnappers to steal Madeleine McCann in Portgual and whisk her off to Poland without even showing a passport, but still…
Duplicate cunt detected, it looks as if you’re a cunt.
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