About me: I live in Wokingham. I keep Bees with the present Mrs Twizzle. We are very happy, although we do live in fear for our lives. My mission in life is to transfer the teachings and idiologies of the daily mail and similar to the wooly liberals on this side of the fence. I also hope at some point to find love with someone other than the present Mrs. Twizzle who is unaware of my daliance on these pages.
Interests: Bees mainly, right wing politics, moral outrage

Sir, I believe you have something here. As has become common knowledge in recent days my wife and I keep bees. While bee keeping can be a relaxing if sometimes terrifying pastime, even the most ardent bee keepers require a little respite now and again, and my wife and I are very keen on the North Norfolk coast as a holiday destination. Up until June 2003 we were loyal members of the North Norfolk Swingers and Beekeepers Collective (NSBC). The beach barbeques are excellent and the moonlit boat trips from blakeney are illuminating to say the least. However, it was the June meeting that year that formed something of a watershed for the present Mrs. Twizzle and I. We were having a lovely time and seeing quite a bit of action on the coast there, when we received a troubling phone call from our neighbour who had witnessed what can only be described as a haenous act of moral turpitude, visited upon our bees. Details remain sketchy, but as far as we can tell a group of between 2 and 12 youths, possibly drug users, possibly students had broken into the main hive and caused absolute chaos with the bees. We keep our bees very highly strung as temprement does refine the consistency of the honey – any bee keeper worth his onions will tell you that. The drug using students were clearly after only one thing and didn’t care how they got it. The upshot was that the bees went completely mental, killing a fox and breaking into a local hair salon with truly terrible consequences. Needless to say the perpetrators escaped with the honey and we were left with an empty hive and a bucket of memories. I can’t imagine it would have taken a poirot or a bergerac to track them down, as they will have been quite badly stung and at the time our particular brand of honey left one quite gassy with a very specific perfume, but the local police did absolutely nothing – except of course to charge us £33.56 for the removal of the dead fox and £245.36 for damages at “a cut above” – the irony was Shakespearean it really was. From that moment, my wife and I decided to bring the bees indoors. Obviously compromises have had to be made (I now sleep with a gun), however it has brought us closer together as a family.

No. Too late. Numpties at work are worse than HYSers.

From Has social mobility improved under Labour?

Labour hate social mobility.
The better educated and wealthier you become the less likely you are to vote for them.

Hence they give us the worst edcuation system ever, highest taxes and decreasing employment opportunities.

Keep us thick, poor and benefit dependent and we achieve their dream – perpetual new labour!

[Vulpus_rex], London, United Kingdom

The above ‘most recommended’ post contains a meme. That meme is spreading across HYS at the mo from reader to reader. Vulpus’s post has 50 votes so far. Perhaps 50 people who ‘caught’ this meme and will take it to their local pub where they will attempt to disseminate it. Hopefully at this point, bigger, stronger, better memes will attack it. Specifically the meme that encourages people with brains to look at people with no brains and say, “right, and you believe that, do you?”

Yes, it was a piss-poor homage to TV Go Home unfortunately, and I’d ran out of steam by mid-morning of the schedule.

Saying that though, one should always find room for Mick Hucknall’s Pink Pancakes.

The HYS Rules: You can make your point perfectly well in lower case so please take the caps lock off.

Let’s take it as a ‘given’ that The Mods read SYB, (You do and we know you do. And we know you know we know you know we know as well, so nur)

Saying ‘don’t raise your voice, please be polite’ is all well and good, but you monitor an infamous rant-zone for some of the nation’s most out-spoken retards.

HYS is a cyber-cage full of semi-insane rage-addicts. (Oh yes it is a cage. Those mad fuckers are trapped in there and you know it. Their opinions have been ignored all their lives and now they’re addicted to the illusion of your self-voted, soap-box.) You spend all day poking electric cattle prods through the bars of the nutter-pen; you dangle pantomime terrorists and immigrants in front of their twisted howling faces like dangling meat over a pit of starving Rottweiler’s. You encourage their unhealthy obsession with impotent rage. Then you simper and ask them to be polite?

“Will HYS posters please remember that when we’ve got you smashing your forehead onto your keyboard in paralysed rage, you mustn’t offend our prissy, middle-class sensibilities. It’s OK to have gibbering racist views, we don’t really care about that, just try to hold your fork the right way round and don’t talk with your mouth full. Thank you.”

GO FUCK YOURSELVES.

I am disappointed that there is no space in your schedule for “Cunt”, featuring Russell Brand as Nathan Barley and Jonathan Ross as his equally repellent overpaid fat-head friend.

That is all.

No capital letters. This is internet shorthand for raising your voice. You can make your point perfectly well in lower case so please take the caps lock off.

i bet ross and brand used capital letters when they phoned up andrew sachs. how vulgar.