Michael Crichton died.
Its a strange world where a man who created so much pleasure for others writing medical fiction is struck down by cancer at a ridiculously early age. Makes no sense.
keith l
It’s almost as if the cancer-fairy has stopped means-testing and started sticking pins, randomly, in the phone book.
Jurassic Park was such an amazing book. Who knows, one day we may bring Michael back.. well we can wish.
Rest in peace.
Mr South, time for a vote of no confidence!, United Kingdom
All we need is a mosquito that ate some Michael Crichton. Or maybe a handy Michael Crichton egg. Let’s just pray that he doesn’t start reproducing asexually and then take over the island.
Coma (directed by Crichton) created a great visualisation of human greed wherein young healthy people were deliberately placed in a comatose state & their organs stolen for sale in the black market.
Fact or Fiction? It HAS happened & IS happening!!
Jurassic Park highlighted the vulnerability of technology 2 unexpected iterations as the DNA used 2 fill gaps in the reconstruction of dinosaurs created hermaphrodites which led 2 reproduction in a female ONLY population!
Great alert again!!!
[MaxMaxmilianMaximusI], Indian Caesar in, Singapore
Think of all the priceless knowledge we might have lost though! I know of at least 5 frog/dinosaur cross-breeding projects that had to be abandoned because of this kind of scare-mongering. What if The Cure For Cancer™ happens to be hidden 13 inches up a hermaphrodite stegosaurus’s arsehole?
53 Responses to “Michael Crichtosaur”
He also showed the danger of putting potentially lethal technology in theme parks which certainly warned me off going to euro itchy and scratchy land.
Cheers Mike!
Still don’t ever want to read any of his books but.
And who can forget his ‘Global warming isn’t real’ masterpiece of FACT.
Mind you, he was probably better at using blockquotes than me. RIP Crichters.
There’s a startling number of people in that thread claiming that “Timeline” taught them to understand quantum physics.
Even if I knew nothing about quantum physics myself and had never heard Feynman’s quote about *nobody* understanding it, I think I’d still be skeptical about *anyone* daft enough to waste their life in that shitstorm understanding the first fucking thing about QED.
Unless there’s a ‘100 chimpanzees’ principle operating here, via which eventually a Grand Unified Theory will accidentally be posted to HYS by an apopleptic numpty from Durham bashing his keyboard in response to the topic, “Does everything make you angry?”
Tonymac - the first response that’s made me LOL (yes I hate myself too) on here for a long time.
I’m now going to think of HYS as just a long term BBC experiment on the 100 chimpanzees theory - certainly less scary than thinking this bunch of idiots actually exist.
I spat some tea on my monitor imagining a doddery and fragile elderly type clutching his chest and wheezing, “Not Crichton as well…First Asimov, then C. Clarke, god damn…..”
No-one has mentioned his sterling work in Red Dwarf yet.
Sorry just had a HYS moment there.
Speaking of 100 chimpanzees here’s a comment from one of the primates at the Mail.
I like to think he was actually murdered in hospital by a conspiracy of doctors driven insane by every member of the public who had ever watched an episode of ER shouting “stat” at them.
Either that, or he was hunted down and killed by a robotic Yul Brynner. That’s the way I’d like to go.
eh? 100 chimpanzees? Are we talking about ‘an infinite number of monkeys’ here? Or is this some other simian-intelligence project that I am currently unaware of?
Do these 100 monkeys live on some themed island where their DNA is advanced and they’re trained as deep-space astronauts, but do to a series of mishaps, they escape, make it back to the mainland, and take turns at butt-fucking Charlton Heston?
Due, not do
My monkey-like brain is not used to coping with concepts more complex than bananas and masturbation. But it can multi-task those two, if required.
http://first100chimps.wesleyan.edu/
He really had a thing for theme parks. I reckon he should have stopped at Westworld.
who is zoe salman and is it worth trying to find pictures of her dressed like a tupenny whore?
Andy
1. She presents Blue Peter.
2. Not really - think Kiera Knightly with anorexia.
I remember his book, Jurrasic Park, and what it had to say (that the film did not) about chaos theory; and I remember how his surname always reminded me of a great British fim: ‘The Admirable Crichton’. I’m sure there are other things I remember too; I have a friend who will remember much much more!
Ben, Bedford
I like this one about all the things Ben can remember and can’t wait to hear from his friend who is apparantly even better at remembering stuff!
Done. He’ll appear when you least expect it.
Wish I was Ben of Bedford, spending a Thursday morning caned off my tits. Quality
I enjoyed his books. What a shame.
Sue, UK
simply masterful.
is sue suggesting it’s a shame she enjoyed his books? i’d suggest not reading them in the first place if the thought of enjoying them is that bad. stupid woman.
wringhim - watch out for that snake.
bet Joy in ROLLE isn’t too upset as the lucky bastard made it all the way to 66, unlike her pervy peedo dad
I don’t have anyone I particularly wish to insult at the moment, so can I just ‘bank’ the phrase Vitreous Velociraptor’s Vadge.
Thanks.
/HYS Mode engaged
Due to the credit crunch, the ‘Infinite Monkey’ theory has been downsized to 100 Chimps!!!1
/HYS Mode disengaged
Crichton might have had a sciencey background, but to believe that reading Timeline lends a complete authoritative understanding of quantum physics to the reader, is a bit like saying that flicking through a Mills and Boon novel provides the reader with an infallible knowledge of human interaction and sexual mores in 19th century stables.
There is a chap in my office who is a marvellous human representation of HYS.
He found out today that driving licences now come as standard with photocards.
The summary of all this is that apparently photocard driving licences are a stealth tax. As funny as this conclusion was at the time, he was later heard on the phone to someone else complaining about said stealth tax.
He’s a bit of a cock.
Surely a “Kiera Knightly with anorexia” couldn’t exist? Wouldn’t a creature with such a lack of matter be basically just a walking black hole ready to tear a hole though the fabric of the universe?
Hmm, sounds like it could be the plot of Michael Crichton’s next book.
Oh, hang on…
They bloody are too.
One of the funnier aspects of HYS is the witless civets’ gashes inability to understand that you can read their past posts.
So today on the interest rate debate you have:
Added: Wednesday, 5 November, 2008, 23:54 GMT 23:54 UK
As someone who is a finanacially prudent saver I am quite happy for interest rates to remain high or even rise slightly.
As the owner of a debt free manufacturing business that sells items to idiots that have to use credit to pay for them i am also quite happy for the interest rates to rise.
High interest rates are good for those who manage their finances wisely and prudently, but bad for the undisciplined fools who cannot manage their money.
I know who i would rather reward.
a a
………….
So far so smug. But we go back a couple of weeks to another global financial crisis thread and find this:
Added: Sunday, 19 October, 2008, 21:47 GMT 22:47 UK
I work 50+ hours a week and recently sat down with my unemployed heroin addict brother.
We did some sums and guess what, he has THREE time the disposable income at the end of each week than I.
This is because my income (wages) goes to pay the rent, council tax, car, tax etc.. and I have almost nothing left afterwards.
His Income (incapacity benefit, council tax benefit, housing benefit etc pays just about everything for him and still gives him almost a hundred quid in his pocket to spend
a a
………….
Now either this is an entrepeneurial genius who has managed to set up a successful business within a matter of weeks, in the middle of an economic downturn, or a lying cunt. People of Britain, you decide…
@LLP
Does the poster named a a work on the sameship as Topsy Turvy? You know the one; one week it was bravely patrolling the safety of ‘COWARDS, ALL OF YOU!’, then next week it was being closed and relocated to the far east where the workforce was cheaper because of Gordoom McGabe’s incompetence.
Which reminds me, I still haven’t managed to gloat in his face about his utterly cocked-up holiday to Barbados during the recent big hurricane. Must keep my eye open for an HYS green thread and give him a damn good YYYaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhahahahaha!!!
Until your clientèle go bankrupt due to the high cost of borrowing to pay for your goods, and you business folds due to lack of demand.
But as a financially prudent businessman, you knew that, right?
What could a a possibly be selling? What comes under the category of items that ‘idiots have to use credit to pay for’?
Smart money’s on drugs or solid crystal sex aids, I reckon.
so, aa’s brother (the heroin addict) has £100 in his pocket to spend.
But when he’s spent it (on heroin?) he’ll have nowt won’t he ???
Am I alone in thinking that aa’s brother (the heroin addict) is in fact an imaginary brother; just like his imaginary friends ???
You could make it up!
Vote for Topsy and get a Twat who’ll vote for himself anyway even if you don’t.
No, that doesn’t rhyme
and barely makes sense.
Fuck it, I’ll pump it up the thread anyway. I pay my licence fee, it’s my thread.
Fix’d.
Shame. Shame it wasn’t john adair that is.
It does if you flick through it while caned off your tits.
That wasn’t a Mills and Boon Ben, that was page 78, para 3 of the May 1986 issue of Penthouse Magazine. I remember because you were wearing your Dennis the Menace socks, and Moira Stewart was presenting the news. Your left eyebrow was slightly arched, if I remember correctly, and I do. A pair of trousers lay askew on your bed. I remember things like that.
And you’ve forgotten my birthday again, you cunt.
Quick update:
The man in the office now objects to “having to prove who he is just to get on a flight”.
Bollocks it did. It taught me not to put Wayne Knight in charge of security at my futuristic theme park.
…or to leave a “back door” to your computer’s security system, which a twelve year old can bypass.
I have an arty background but you wouldn’t want me restoring the Mona Lisa. Not unless you want it coming back a bit more abstract than before.
@Peedo SS
Ask him if people from Arab states should have to prove who they are before they get on flights.
What a disappointment the afterlife is. Upon moving to the astral plane I found myself in a large marble hall filled with geniuses from every age of history. Here was Leonardo in excited conversation with Confucius, there was Aristotle shouting at Einstein. In another corner Darwin was talking with Voltaire. At last, I thought, I can find out the mysteries which have puzzled and beguiled mankind since the dawn of civilisation.
I eagerly rushed to find out what they were talking about. Imagine my consternation when every conversation was the same:
“I think John Adair’s a cunt” “So do I”
Who the holy fuck is John Adair?
I’m nominating John Adair for The Biggest Douche in the Universe.
About bloody time. Does anyone know where the black market is? I need to sell my spare kidney and a lung to supplement my disposable income so I can support the herion addiction of my imaginery brother…
I think we can all surmise that:
Velociraptors can apply their problem-solving skills with no previous frame of reference required. Ergo:
raptors > everyone
HOWEVER
You can pretend to be a raptor by blowing through a piece of a dead one (see Jurassic Park 3), regardless of whether you have a competant grasp of the raptor tongue.
They also don’t like being kicked in the head.
ERGO
Let’s gather the worst HYS offenders in a room unsuited to raptor-slaying gymnastics and set raptors on them.
Does this mean we could impersonate an HYSer by blowing through Johnny Boy’s hollowed-out skull?
Not that hollowing it out would take long, of course.
Badoom-tish!
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