Plain Weird and Unfocused Rage09 Dec 2008 09:22 am
By Kelvin

Scary thought for the day: The internet now has more logical connections than the human brain. That means, if you ignore all science and reason, that it’s just this far away from gaining sentience. One day it’s going to finish reading itself and, like an angry Sparky’s Piano, hang around outside Topsy Turvy’s house repeating his own posts back to him in a mocking voice.

Fortunately, Anne spotted a man doing his very best to prevent that happening by writing posts that are… let’s be generous and call them difficult to parse.

Pencil a rough-sketch of YOUR high-street showing current shops & those you would like to see.

Years ago ‘planning’ ensured a newsagent had a small-monopoly, ditto grocers… Pointless for a family-business to compete with others too-close & where that newcomer is Tesco, Asda… time to confront local-authority… with a thinly-veilled threat of closure.

Do you use your high-street as a viable-business? Too hard, if not illegal, to make a living from 10p margins. Banks, utilities… doomed

Stephen Dawson, Manchester, United Kingdom

I was thinking-about my local high street when it struck-me… Pick-up 10p & get-arrested for too small-margins! Highly illegal, sent-to-prison… my arse doomed.

Found Sarah Connor Chronicles [Terminator] for £18 [Asda website]; less than half £40 in HMV Trafford Centre [Manchester] store.

Hoping to watch this [Saturday] evening drove to two Asda stores; first informed me NOT available, second older staff-member had never heard of it, younger ‘it was on Bravo’ [I do NOT have Sky & Blu Ray is way-cheaper].

Customer-service is a lost-art; it’s too late for Woolworths though ‘phoenix’, Asda… should ‘pony-up-the-dough’ & contract USA, China, German..

Stephen Dawson, Manchester, United Kingdom

If I’m reading this right, either Stephen thinks Asda holds the key (and the liquidity) to solving the global credit crunch, or his definition of “customer service” involves having a multinational team following him around with pictures of Summer Glau and some guns in case he fancies a wank.

Perhaps a new approach is needed. Let’s take a holistic view and see if we can get an overview.

Still think VAT should be hiked to 20%; EVERY-penny used to pay-off National-Debt [NOT used for tax-cut bribes].

Big-screen TVs on the run-up to Christmas, together with Digital-Switchover, are a minor-boost to a few retailers; irrelevant to DVDs [incl Blu-Ray] with pennies-off.

I hope we dump the Pound for the Euro within days; to be spared the slimy ‘families, hard-working…’ Budget-speaches. When forced to meet free-trade legal-obligations £2 20-packet… spivs & government lose-out.

Stephen Dawson, Manchester, United Kingdom

OK, so we should raise taxes but lower them so Government has the money to pay off the national debt at the same time as losing out… and the VAT cut hasn’t made wanking any more affordable.

That sound you can hear is the internet sobbing in a corner.

29 Responses to “Pony-up-the-dough”

  1. on 09 Dec 2008 at 9:46 am Angry Person B

    Arsehole blah Arsehole

  2. on 09 Dec 2008 at 10:28 am Witty Person B

    blahdy fountains! barble blahdy blahdy baa Thatcher blah blah.

  3. on 09 Dec 2008 at 10:32 am Witty Person A

    baa barble for blahdy barble.

  4. on 09 Dec 2008 at 10:37 am Indignant Person A

    baa the blahdy is blah baa? blah blah blah blah one baa blah? blah blah blah blah blahdy baa’baa baa blahdy.

  5. on 09 Dec 2008 at 10:41 am Angry Person B

    Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahdy

  6. on 09 Dec 2008 at 11:23 am Ishmael

    Call me Ishmael.

  7. on 09 Dec 2008 at 12:04 pm Indignant Person B

    baa blahdy blah sense blah blahdy blah blah as blah blah album blah circa blah.

  8. on 09 Dec 2008 at 1:45 pm Oaf

    Whimsical blarbloid headache wooly jumper stalinist marmalade.

  9. on 09 Dec 2008 at 1:46 pm Angry Person A

    barble barble baa blah of blahdy custard retarder.

  10. on 09 Dec 2008 at 1:47 pm Angry Person A

    blah blahdy blahdy blah baa blah barble.

  11. on 09 Dec 2008 at 1:47 pm Philosophical Person B

    But blah every time.

  12. on 09 Dec 2008 at 1:48 pm Indignant Person B

    This blahdy oaftastic.

  13. on 09 Dec 2008 at 1:49 pm Indignant Person A

    blahdy blah barble barble oaf party blah December the 22nd at blahdy blah blah baa.baa blahdy about barble blah’blah.

  14. on 09 Dec 2008 at 1:49 pm Witty Person A

    blahdy’blahdy all this oaf blah blahdy?

  15. on 09 Dec 2008 at 1:52 pm Angry Person A

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  16. on 09 Dec 2008 at 1:52 pm Indignant Person B

    blah

  17. on 09 Dec 2008 at 1:53 pm Philosophical Person A

    baa

  18. on 09 Dec 2008 at 6:03 pm Angry Person B

    blah blah blah’blah confussling barble!


  19. blah blahblah blah baa?

  20. on 15 Dec 2008 at 12:57 pm Person Attempting To Shame Nelson Into Re-enabling Comments

    blah..blah blah barble blah..

  21. on 23 Dec 2008 at 12:34 am Philosophical Person A

    blah blah blah blah..blah hilton blah blah..

  22. on 25 Dec 2008 at 10:59 am Angry Person A

    baa..baa..

  23. on 27 Dec 2008 at 8:35 pm Philosophical Person A

    blahdy..blahdy. blah pics..

  24. on 29 Dec 2008 at 7:56 pm Angry Person A

    blah blah blahdy..blahdy gay blah. Gay blah..

  25. on 31 Dec 2008 at 7:56 am Philosophical Person B

    blahdy blahdy..blahdy. Tramadol blah no baa..

  26. on 31 Dec 2008 at 5:45 pm Witty Person B

    blah..blah blahdy. Aura blah blahdy. blah. blah blah. blah blahdy blah blah blah..

  27. on 04 Jan 2009 at 8:38 pm Philosophical Person B

    blah blah blah..blah beastility. blahdy barble blah. Gay sex barble. barble blahdy..

  28. on 09 Jan 2009 at 4:15 pm Couldnmakeitup

    ‘Pencil a rough-sketch of YOUR high-street showing current shops & those you would like to see. ‘-

    why waste the paper you fuckin moron, I know what’s there.

    Mind you, I guess you’d like to pencil in a few wanking shops that you could visit to toss off again, every few minutes.

  29. on 16 Mar 2009 at 2:48 pm joff

    Found posting as if Rorsharch from Watchmen provides feeling of invulnerability and sense of really doing something. Saving World, except not because does not deserve saving.