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Miscellaneous Prats15 Jan 2009 08:20 am

Civil Disobedience

By Nelson

Thanks to Dan for spotting this on Ceefax (nowhere is safe from these whining bores).

Yeah. Fight the power.

79 Responses to “Civil Disobedience”

on 15 Jan 2009 at 8:42 am Throbbe

I think he should also protest about fuel taxation by buying a few gallons of petrol and then burning it in his living room. That would show Gordon Clown.

In other news, I’m sort of pleased page 145 is still going, I used to be an avid reader (and shouter at the tv) before internets entered my life.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 8:56 am millie

I think that may have been read out on R4 since I know I didn’t read it on Ceefax yet have definitely heard those very same moronic words before.

Imagine your stupidity being so impressive that you’re quoted by both Radio 4 and Lord Nelson.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 9:27 am Rob

I’ve read every single submission on SYB but this is the first one that’s actually made me want to hunt down the offending party and kill him with a hammer.
Cheg on ‘JG’, you am a twat.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 9:40 am Randy Lahey

I heard that Gordon Brown has made it illegal to drive a burning car over a cliff. Aren’t you going to fight these health-&-safety fascists, telling you what’s good for you and what’s not?
on 15 Jan 2009 at 9:45 am dirigible

I’m replacing my energy efficient bulbs with whale-oil-powered hurricane lamps that I will burn all day, every day.

When Earth’s atmosphere resembles that of the planet Venus I think you know who will be having the last laugh.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 9:46 am Loubie Lou

Imagine your only luxury being a bright light to read by. That’s a pretty poor existence. No wonder he’s so angry.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 9:53 am skunkpussy

I’ve read every single submission on SYB but this is the first one that’s actually made me want to hunt down the offending party and kill him with a hammer.
Cheg on ‘JG’, you am a twat.

His house should be easy enough to find, with all those 100 watt bulbs burning away it’ll be visible from space after dark. Just remember to pack a pair of sunglasses along with your hammer.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 9:54 am Expert Scientist

Someone should tell this guy about the internet – think how much energy he could waste then!
on 15 Jan 2009 at 10:42 am burnel

I think the freak’s overdone the ketamine just to spite Gordon Brown.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 10:50 am MikeG

Stupid twat doesn’t know that he’d save money with energy saving bulbs too.

But that wouldn’t fit in with the idea of RIP OFF BRITAIN!

It’s the Mail’s campaign to ‘save the traditional bulb’ that’s to blame. Quite breathtaking.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 11:02 am Rotwatcher

I too am glad to find that 145 is still going – it was briefly closed down a while ago; presumably someone with taste as well as power within the BBC happened upon it and removed it on grounds of public decency, shortly before they were sacked I imagine.

The newsgroup uk.d-i-y has the largest collection of climate change deniers and assorted whackjobs outside continental North America. You can, if you haven’t had breakfast yet, view their self-righteous dribble here:

http://groups.google.co.uk/group/uk.d-i-y/topics

There are a couple of extant threads on just this subject.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 11:03 am millie

S/he’s right about the shit-quality light though.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 11:08 am Roscoe

This is exactly the kind of bue sky science that the government should be funding. I for one can’t wait to see what happens when JG rigs up his amateur 200 bulb reading room and flicks the switch. My guess is that half of Harrogate is going to blackout, and he’ll actually end up saving the world a great deal of energy.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 11:13 am Person Trying To Irritate Nelson Into Re-disabling Comments

So this old man was staggering down the street from the shop, probably in freezing rain, with a load of plastic bags stuffed with light bulbs?

Someone should have tripped him up.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 11:14 am Token paki

The traditional light bulb is an English invention, which McClown and his caledonian cohorts are attempting to destroy in the name of completing the destruction of engerland – a schemed hatched by Mel Gibson in 1165.

P.S.: My energy saving light bulb thinks JG is a cunt.

P.P.S.: I think my ranting talents are better utilised on HYS or the Daily Mail.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 11:16 am Token paki

Upon taking a closer look, I notice that: (a) I can’t spell, and (b) I can’t capitalise.

I’m off to HYS.

But before that, I’ve got some benefits to scrounge. And a few jobs to steal.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 11:38 am Kelvin

S/he’s right about the shit-quality light though.

All the more reason to find out where they live and give them the gift of a permanently illuminated stadium floodlight in the front garden.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 11:46 am Person Trying To Irritate Nelson Into Re-disabling Comments

So this old man was staggering down the street from the shop, probably in the freezing rain, with a load of plastic bags stuffed with light bulbs?

Someone should have tripped him up.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 11:47 am Person Trying To Irritate Nelson Into Re-disabling Comments

Cobblers.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 11:51 am SJG

We all looked up ‘profligate’ though, didn’t we?

(Not me)
on 15 Jan 2009 at 12:15 pm Gilbert Wham

Well, I got a pack of energy saving bulbs given to me by the council. I like to think that it was ALL JG’s taxes that paid for them.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 12:39 pm Indignant Person C

Imagine the look on JG’s face when he realised he can only screw one bulb into each light at a time.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 12:56 pm Steve

“I like to think that it was ALL JG’s taxes that paid for them.”

I’d like to think that he was mauled by a rabid badger this morning
on 15 Jan 2009 at 1:19 pm Col John Matrix

NuLiarBore are so fuckin crafty that they’re going to be able to tax us even MORE to the hilt with these energy saving bulbs. We use less energy, so pay less electricity bills, so we have more money left over in our pocket for them to steal through taxes!

Genius.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 1:24 pm Plzen

Go to Ceefax page 888 and you can enjoy JG’s pissballing commentary subtitled all over your favourite TV shows.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 1:52 pm Funny Peculiar

I dread to think of the ear bashing he gave to the poor checkout girl that had to scan his 200 bulb investment. God, I hope she was a brain-dead moron otherwise she would have gone totally insane before completing the first fifty 50.

“And shall I tell you another thing *BEEP* that Gordon Brown’s done to this country? *BEEP* You can’t walk down your own street *BEEP* nowadays without…”

“OH JUST FU*KING DIE, YOU MEANINGLESS OLD BURDEN ON THE STATE!”
on 15 Jan 2009 at 2:55 pm Pedant

amateur 200 bulb reading room

I have visions of him flipping the switch, then bursting into flame. That’s me happy for the rest of the day.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 3:03 pm Scaryduck

I’ve got round the ban by reading to the light provided from lanterns fueled from the rendered fat of the three dozen illegal immigrants I have personally strangled in the last week.

Take that Gordon CLOWN!
on 15 Jan 2009 at 3:55 pm Marcus

I have visions of him rigging up something along the lines of the lightbulb-encrusted lawn cross the American Family Association was selling before Christmas, just to read by. When lit, it looked pretty much as if it was on fire. Bet it was popular in parts of the South.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 4:32 pm Gordon Brown

JG, for every one lightbulb you buy I’m going to let in ten immigrants. And give them carte blanche to dream up new taxes.

Take that.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 6:00 pm Spiritof1976

My entire flat is lit by energy saving bulbs, and I find them absolutely fine. All this talk about them being too dim or too harsh is just bollocks.
on 15 Jan 2009 at 6:17 pm Funny Perculiar

From Now on your greasy, laminated menu-card will have “1254 cals” printed in tiny size6 letters next to the massive screaming banner “Ultra Deep Pan Italiano Pepperoni Chezerino TM”

Oh, The Humanity! Oh, The Indignity! Someone please put Albion out of her misery!

this is a joke. we managed thousands of years without this information. if people cant tell that chips and deep fried food is fattening then they probably wouldnt understand the calorie details. its a disgrace that we have to babysit people now and it is slowly becoming a nanny state.
calorie content could ruin your meal as you would feel pressured to go for healthier options when you should be allowed to treat yourself once in a while.

olly, Reading
on 15 Jan 2009 at 6:46 pm millie

My entire flat is lit by energy saving bulbs, and I find them absolutely fine

Was your flat formerly illuminated entirely by fluorescent strips by any chance?
on 15 Jan 2009 at 9:39 pm Rob

First they came for the lightbulbs, and I did not speak out because I was not a lightbulb….
on 16 Jan 2009 at 12:02 am Steve

Some twat on that same page was trying to argue that energy saving lightbulbs are a con, because they don’t “heat up the room” like the traditional bulbs.

So all the INDIGENOUS old people moaning about not being able to afford heating and eating should shut the fuck up and switch the lights on.
on 16 Jan 2009 at 6:38 am Mim

Possibly he is judging the bulbs by the level of light they give two seconds after being switched on, and has flounced out of the room to write to Ceefax by the time they’ve warmed up?

I have energy-saving full-spectrum lightbulbs because they’re easier to knit by. Thus I lose on cred points alone.
on 16 Jan 2009 at 8:05 am Sling

I know a woman who’s doing this. Fortunately she is also a clumsy badger’s cunt and keeps dropping the boxes. Nice dim plastic bulbs just don’t make that satisfying *smash* noise.
on 16 Jan 2009 at 10:31 am Kelvin

Yeah well I’ve got 24v lights powered by a battery bank charged by solar panels and even I think anyone who actually gives enough of a fuck to bang on about how clever their choice of lightbulb is should just stop fighting entropy and do what they really want to do, namely microanalyse Moneybox Live in a hastily-convened round table of every other fucking tedious cunt in a five mile radius.
on 16 Jan 2009 at 1:09 pm Funny Peculiar

Ahhh look… It’s Kelvin’s Friday-Feeling Heartwarmer…

c’mon, group hug everyone, (I love you guys.)
on 16 Jan 2009 at 6:42 pm Person Trying to Annoy Person Trying To Irritate Nelson Into Re-disabling Comments So He Doesn't Irritate Nelson Any More

Non-cobblers
on 16 Jan 2009 at 6:46 pm Goat Helicopter Rides

Give your goat a new year treat.

A helicopter ride specifically tailored to suit the needs of the modern goat.

£40 per hour, group discounts available.

Free 100w light bulb with every booking.

http://www.goaticopter.com
on 16 Jan 2009 at 7:44 pm Stephen Bird

Steve is on the right track but neglects to remind the old craplings that they could EAT their lIgHtbulBs if they want to warm up.
on 17 Jan 2009 at 1:30 am Clairwil

Is JG also known as Mitzi? If so I’d like to take this opportunity to distance myself and the rest of the cocksucker community from his mad ravings. Mind you I expect he likes the bright lights so he can fantasise he’s on stage whilst he’s Ceefaxing.

http://mitziclutterfromthegutter.blogspot.com/2009/01/light-bulb-ban.html
on 17 Jan 2009 at 2:08 am el guido

A) How many lightbulbs of any sort are you expecting to need in your lifetime? (my house has about 10 and they don’t blow regularly). Then again, i don’t spend my evenings throwing them at single mothers and darkies from my bedroom window.
B) Try not to think what it is this gimpnut is reading in his ceefax illuminarium, it made me angry and tearful when i tried.
on 17 Jan 2009 at 9:18 am Gob Beldof

ENERGY SAVIGN LITEBULBS ARE A DRUGS CHEAT.

I HAVE BEEN A LIGHTBULT FOR TEN YEARS AND I HAVE NOT SAVED ANY ENERGY UN THEIS WAY.

GORDON BROWNN YU SHULD BE ASHAMD.

UK FOR UKIANS.
on 17 Jan 2009 at 7:15 pm badnewswade

Perhaps he should burn whale oil and currency notes to keep warm, as it is much bettor than all that nasty politically-correct oil, gas and elecTRICKERY that the librul PC McBroon fascist dictatorship FORCES consumers to use. BELM!
on 18 Jan 2009 at 4:53 am Sooty

I wonder if this is the same person. If you take a look round that account he seems to be a tin-foil hat wearer, probably a 0.8 or 0.9 on the Icke scale.
on 18 Jan 2009 at 11:34 am Kelvin

Is JG also known as Mitzi?

I think it’s more likely that Mitzi is also known as L A Odicean.
on 18 Jan 2009 at 12:42 pm john Adair's Gerbil

I tried to buy one of those old-fashioned light bulbs in Tesco’s yesterday but some bastard had bought the lot.
on 18 Jan 2009 at 4:57 pm Thomas Edison

Why not make your own? It’s really easy.
on 18 Jan 2009 at 4:58 pm Joseph Swan

You bastard, that was my idea. You stole it.
on 18 Jan 2009 at 5:02 pm Thomas Edison

What? You mean that faintly glowing carbonised bamboo in a partial vacuum which only lasted three minute?

Ha!
on 18 Jan 2009 at 8:16 pm Joseph Swan

Damned elephant electrocuter.
on 18 Jan 2009 at 8:36 pm Alexandre Edmond Becquerel

Incandescent? Rubbish!
on 19 Jan 2009 at 1:19 pm Nikola Tesla

You’re all a bunch of thieving bastards.
on 19 Jan 2009 at 3:13 pm God

You fucking bunch of lying cunts. Don’t any of you heathen shitheads read the bible no more? I fucking said “LET THERE BE LIGHT” and there was fucking light!!!
on 19 Jan 2009 at 3:24 pm boab

What a whiny old duffer. I mean, who the hell still uses Ceefax? Maybe it’s part of the latest nu-rave generation retro fad…I hear floppy disks are back in now too!

But I have to say I’m with him on the superiority of 100 watt incandescent light bulbs… ‘Mood lighting’ is for epic twats…
on 19 Jan 2009 at 5:23 pm Arhimedes

Get lost Tesla. You didn’t invent spiral winding.
on 19 Jan 2009 at 5:36 pm Humphrey Davey

You’re all just jumped-up parvenus, johnny-come-latelys and patent-scribbling, intellectual pigmys.
on 19 Jan 2009 at 7:28 pm Count Alessandro Giuseppe Antonio Anastasio Volta

I can’t believe you’re all using my electricity just to make a silly bit of wire in a glass bulb glow white hot. What a waste.
on 19 Jan 2009 at 7:30 pm Luigi Galvani

Hey, that’s my electricity. It’s supposed to be used for important things like making the legs of a dead frog twitch.

Lights. Huh. What’s wrong with candles?
on 19 Jan 2009 at 7:33 pm Michael Farady

Shut up Galvani. I was the first one to generate electricity.
on 19 Jan 2009 at 7:37 pm Benjamin Franklin

You’re all wrong. Everyone knows that electricity comes out of the sky via a kite flown with a wet string and a key on the end…. which I invented.
on 19 Jan 2009 at 7:39 pm Benjamin Franklin

Oh yes… In a thunderstorm

(I invented those too).
on 19 Jan 2009 at 9:21 pm Thor

I think you’ll find that was me, actually.
on 19 Jan 2009 at 9:25 pm Prometheus

Candles, Luigi? Ya mean, FIRE? And who invented THAT, eh? Eh?
on 19 Jan 2009 at 9:54 pm Zeuss

Shut up Prometheus. And watch out for Eagles.

(the birds, not the band).
on 19 Jan 2009 at 9:54 pm Zeuss

By the way, that was my fire and I want it back.
on 19 Jan 2009 at 9:56 pm Fulgora

Hey you, Thor. You stick to thunder.

Lightning is all mine.
on 19 Jan 2009 at 11:57 pm DW

I didn’t know Ceefax was still going?!
on 20 Jan 2009 at 1:33 pm The Oracle (at Delphi)

Oracle!?! An utter demarcation of a millenia old cultural tradition of seering. A slow and frustrating system for checking cinema times and sports results. Where’s the finesse? Did ITV’s digital information system go into a slightly erotic epilectic trance before telling you not to shag your mum? Did it fuck! I’ve been robbed. I should’ve known.
on 20 Jan 2009 at 1:54 pm Kelvin

Pretending to be historical characters is the last resort of desperately unfunny Mike Gigglers.
on 20 Jan 2009 at 3:09 pm Supreme Ruler of the Universe.

Pretending to be historical characters is the last resort of desperately unfunny Mike Gigglers.

I agree.
on 21 Jan 2009 at 1:30 am tahrey

So THATS the person who’s caused Tesco to suddenly be out of stock of incandescents so I can’t replace the burnt out one in my somewhat vintage, relatively expensive to replace and near-impossible-to-replace-with-a-workalike-lookalike-unit-that-works-with-CFLs timer switch (one each in the lounge, and the dining room). Or the dimmer switched fitting in the guest bedroom. Or the two or three other fittings in the house that aren’t suitable for the modern types. Or even to get one of those blue tinted daylight bulbs that are a boon when having to pore over reams of paperwork into the winter evenings, or just get yourself up of a morning.

I’m well into the compact fluorescents for their energy saving and all (I’m not fussed by the mercury scare – it’s a tiny, miniscule amount), in fact there’s one 11w one lighting this whole room while I internet away on my sub-15w-typical laptop (…with the gas fire going strong because the central heating’s off and it’s bloody freezing tonight… already have a thick jumper on and considering a wooly hat too), and my bedroom is generally lit by a 5w in a bedside lamp (“25w equivalent”… surprisingly powerful, enough to read by anyway). But the light quality is maybe not all that for some of them (partic if you want bright, sunlight-ish colour gamut), a five-second warm up (instead of 30) is still five seconds vs a few tenths if you need to look for something quickly, and as stated they tend to have issues with anything that isn’t a plain on-off contact breaker switch. So incandescents have their place; very much not in favour of a total ban. I’d support taxing them to the hilt so each bulb cost a fiver – the utility would still be worth it. Total prohibition is silly and I might have to follow the dude’s lead by buying up sufficient stock to cover the next 10~15 years (until, hopefully, the issues with warm-up, colour quality and compatibility are finally quashed) once the shelf stock recovers.
on 21 Jan 2009 at 7:58 pm tahrey

Also to be further curmudgeonly and luddite, finding this tab still open in my browser about 20 hours later … and responding to some random comment about halfway up … I’d happily take Oracle or Ceefax anyday over the BBCi or whatever ITV’s called their service. They’re like shallow husks of the range of services teletext offered/offers, just with slightly better graphics and a rather random implementation of the old “mix” mode (sometimes the info just partly overlays the screen, sometimes you get PiP, sometimes there’s no mixing option at all). Often quite slow and difficult to navigate, no easy way of quickly jumping to a known favourite page, sometimes a bit buggy, and only about as much info overall – and certainly as much info per screen – as you’d get on teletext previously if not less. It’s a triumph in completely wasting what should be awesome new technology, for everything except the weather forecast graphics (which are at least 20% better for being chunky VGA-rez icons rather than 1/4-character text squares). Sure teletext had a bit of a page wait, but it was never more than about 5-10 seconds, and had a particular rhythm where (at least on any TV i’ve used so far) you could tell how long it was going to be until it clicked over by the pattern of the scrolling numbers in the top left. I fear its eventual, inevitable disappearance because I think we will have lost something. I’m yet to see a “letters” page on BBCi either, so a bit of non-internet interactivity will also have been chipped away.

Bah, and indeed, Humbuggery.
on 21 Jan 2009 at 8:02 pm tahrey

PS taking the other side – 100w starkness is all well and good when you want to get some work done, but there’s nothing wrong with a bit of softer illumination, or what someone called “mood lighting”, if you’re just chilling out of an evening. More efficient. Better for your circadian rhythms. Easier on the eye. And somehow warmer. Useless if you need to read more than a couple of pages of course, or find something on the shelves under the coffee table…

PPS anyone for a round of Bamboozle? If Oracle is still running then surely Bamber must be locked away somewhere in the 140s/400s?
on 23 Jan 2009 at 12:17 pm bi and proud

All i have in my head now is this weirdo sitting in a bare room illuminated only by an 8-foot tall cross covered with good old fashioned English bulbs while he reads “Mein Kampf for dummies”…it’s rather surreal.
on 24 Jan 2009 at 11:26 pm Harry Belafonte

lighten up on JG.

just wait till many of you twats start getting poor eyesight and cant read a fucking book or an internet screen
on 20 Feb 2009 at 11:40 pm wully

my lava lamp takes a small traditional light bulb…
what the fuck am i supposed to do?

FUCK!

"If you love North Korea so much..
why don't you go live there?"

79 Responses to “Civil Disobedience”

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spEak You're bRanes

"If you love North Korea so much.. why don't you go live there?"

79 Responses to “Civil Disobedience”

About

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"If you love North Korea so much..
why don't you go live there?"