Permanently Bewildered04 Feb 2009 09:28 am
By Kelvin

Very passable, this snow, very passable. Who’d have thought, eighteen years ago, t’ country’d be in t’ grip of worst weather since then? Why,

when I were a lad and we had weather WORSE than this, we were made to stand in front of our desks and jump up and down to get warm – the bottles of free school milk would be frozen

Dave Mazzetti, Aylesbury, United Kingdom

But you know, we were ‘appy in those days, because us winters was so bad.

When I was a kid, we had heavy snowfalls and ice every year and, yet, life went on. I still cycled 5 miles to a school, which was always open!

Brian Phillips

Cycle? Cycle? Luxury!

I walked over 6 miles to work in the snow and got there on time I got up early and started my walk. I was on a 6am start on that day.

Man with No Name Wakefield, England, United Kingdom

You were lucky you had proper SNOW t’ walk through!

A couple or so inches of snow is NOT heavy snow. Some of us are of an age to remember 1960s winters… not the pale imitations we get now.

helen simmons

Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox wi’ negative equity at twelve o’clock at night, and shovel up t’ snow wi’ TEETH. We had half a handful of freezing no public transport, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for immigrants t’ tek us jobs, and when we got home, our Gordon Clown’d tax us within an inch of us lives t’ pay f’ poles t’ ave penis enlargements on t’ NHS.

Right,

why all the fuss? when i was a child if it didnt snow every year it was unusual,we had our sledges made ready and the local lake was guanrateed to freeze thick enough to skate on, we still had to go to school,walking through heavy drifts,no closures then, and no central heating,or double glazing,just a coal fire,and scraping the ice off the windows to see if it was still snowing,

irene bolger, towyn n wales

And if you tell that to young people today, they’ll knifecrime yer!

21 Responses to “The Four Yorkshiremen”

  1. on 04 Feb 2009 at 9:46 am Vicky

    When I was a lass, we had proper old Yorkshiremen who’d gone through right hardship like you wouldn’t believe. Not like the twining gits you get nowadays.

  2. on 04 Feb 2009 at 9:49 am Stew

    When I were a Yorkshireman, we had proper lads, wouldn’t think nowt of tekkin one up t’ wrong’un wi’out whining about how t’ bumsex were better in t’ old days.

  3. on 04 Feb 2009 at 10:05 am Mr Cat

    Irene Bolger isn’t even a Yorkshireman. She’s a woman and she’s from North Wales.

    IMPOSTER!

  4. on 04 Feb 2009 at 10:13 am Philbert

    Interestingly, in HYS-land it’s possible that winters were much colder in the past and, at the same time, that global warming is a myth.

  5. on 04 Feb 2009 at 10:14 am Randy Lahey

    Aye, when I were a lad allus Yorkshiremen were actually FROM Yorkshire, wi’ flat caps an’ whippets, just like int’ Hovis ads. Not like t’ whining Welsh imposters these days…

  6. on 04 Feb 2009 at 10:18 am Randy Lahey

    “Interestingly, in HYS-land it’s possible that winters were much colder in the past and, at the same time, that global warming is a myth.”

    I blame the immigrants, taking all our snow and posting it back home.

  7. on 04 Feb 2009 at 10:26 am Mr Cat

    I have lots of favourites from the snow thread – but one that stands out for me is David Taylor’s little comedy:

    As I started working from home a year ago, I did find it nearly impossible to get out of bed and trudge across the landing to my office.

    The BBC wasn’t very helpful because there were no reports of holdups near the airing cupboard and the bathroom interchange was nearly impassable.

    Gritting was nearly useless – but with the cold floors, it was to be expected.

    Cancellations were widespread. No bacon and eggs. I had to make do with a replacement toast service.

    I hope I get home tonight.

    david taylor, Southend, United Kingdom

    What makes it stand out is that it’s the second most recommended post. 322 people on HYS found this smug little sketch of banality FUNNY enough to recommend it rather than let it wallow in its tepidness and eventually drown in the sea of wannabe yorkshiremen.

    This post deserved the ignomy of being something that you wouldn’t notice if you stood on it, and if you did, you’d tut and wipe it off your shoes. Instead it got to fame of Topsy Turvey proportions. For me that shows exactly what is wrong with people who post on HYS.

  8. on 04 Feb 2009 at 10:51 am 6000

    Funny funny.

    At least it was when Monty Python did it, 40 years ago.

  9. on 04 Feb 2009 at 11:30 am Rich (MMath)(Oxo)

    when i was a child if it didnt snow every year it was unusual.

    For this to be unusual it has to have snowed every year for the majority of this chap’s childhoods.

    I wonder exactly how many childhoods he’s had.

  10. on 04 Feb 2009 at 11:39 am Bit Special

    When I were a lass, whining cunts came out with proper ruritanian horseshit and not this piss-weak mardy waffling. Eeeh, that were proper buzz-killing, rose-tinted self-delusion, and no mistake.

  11. on 04 Feb 2009 at 12:38 pm wringhim

    There are still some back roads with compacted snow making traction very limited. A young lady was tailgating me along a stretch which only really permitted crawling speed – she was getting irate so i dabbed the brakes to show her what would happen if i needed to slow, even though i slid my car sideways and recovered she still didn’t get it!.
    Nick thesafe, Sittingbourne, United Kingdom

    I find this guy’s name rather inappropriate. How many HYSers have died in tragic accidents trying to demonstrate their moral superiority?

  12. on 04 Feb 2009 at 1:27 pm Gilbert Wham

    I find this guy’s name rather inappropriate. How many HYSers have died in tragic accidents trying to demonstrate their moral superiority?

    Not nearly enough, unfortunately.

  13. on 04 Feb 2009 at 1:42 pm Dr Shade

    What they’re all forgetting is back in them days we had Spangles. Proper sweets. Not like the namby-pamby, politically correct, health-&-safety approved shite confectionery ZanuLIARbore are fobbing us off with these days.

    The world’s gone to hell since they stopped selling Spangles. And Tudor crisps.

    I mean look at fucking Push-Pops. A “tasty treat” that’s been deliberately designed to teach youngsters the best way to fellate an undersized penis. It’s all part of the global conspiracy masterminded by Gordon Clown, paedos in speedos, the Jewish branch of the BNP and those lizard things that only David Icke can see.

    You couldn’t make this shite up…

    Fact!!!111!

  14. on 04 Feb 2009 at 1:56 pm Farmer Peculiar

    Aylesb’ry?… In Yorkshi’?… I reckon thee’s touched inted, vet’n'ry. Alesbry in France o’ summat.

  15. on 04 Feb 2009 at 3:41 pm Kelvin

    Aylesb’ry?… In Yorkshi’?… I reckon thee’s touched inted, vet’n’ry. Alesbry in France o’ summat.

    In HYS as in cricket, if there’s owt f’ nowt, be there wi’ a bucket.

    Now get t’ foot of our stairs.

  16. on 04 Feb 2009 at 5:10 pm Cholmondely Fortescue Beauchamp

    As a Yorkshireman, who lives in Suffolk, works from home, and was born during the Great Winter of 1962/63, I just like to say, that when I were a lad … oh bollocks, it’s just too life-sappingly dull.

  17. on 06 Feb 2009 at 10:14 am Hitler's Penis

    Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Aye.

  18. on 06 Feb 2009 at 10:19 am Hitler's Penis

    Two flakes, TWO BLOODY FLAKES of snow and the entire country has become Daily Mail readers and other crapheaded morons. Eighteen years ago we had proper stupidity, now we’ve got this ersatz bloody NuLiabor stupidity and that’s all that’s left us because of, er, the immigrants and the high taxes and, er, er, they’re sending proper British, aye Gordon Brown I said British and proud of it, they’re sending proper British stupidity home to their, er, immigrant families and all we’ve got left to wipe us arse on is t’Daily Fookin Mail, why aye eeee yorra yorra ho hup pet. TWO FLAKES. Fact. Eva Braun would turn in her grave; now there was a lass could shovel snow eeee ‘appen.

  19. on 06 Feb 2009 at 1:07 pm Kelvin

    I kept it out of this post, but I liked all of the embittered northerners complaining that “the snow is only news when it happens in London! We get this much snow every year!”

    Yes. That would be the definition of news: Things that do not happen in the regular course of events. I’m sure if anything of value ever happened outside the capital, that would probably count as news too. Theoretically.

  20. on 07 Feb 2009 at 4:45 pm ekcol

    What, nothing about the weather forecasts measuring the depth of snow in centimetres? I thought they’d go mental.

  21. on 20 Feb 2009 at 12:47 pm albert ayler

    As a exciled yorky in edinburgh i love all these comments bout snow Now i recall 47 fed up wi sledge !