Outsiders and Permanently Bewildered11 Feb 2009 09:08 am
By Nelson
Thanks to Loren. From a Daily Mail story about chocolate bars being made smaller as part of an anti-obesity thingy.
This man is an idiot. The mars bar has been the standard controll for inflation since the start of the 20 th century. Its value being the best standard for price rises. If they change the size then this simple but very practical controll will be lost. Also thiose who need sweets as a source of energy, Diabetics, sportmen and heavy workers will be forced to take two smaller bars, thus actually eating more. so as well as fixing hwhat is not brioken they will cause more rather than less obesity. PC idiots.
P Santamaria, Granada, Spain
36 Responses to “Perfect Sense”
It’s worse than that, as the second is also defined in terms of the time taken to eat a Mars Bar, then the whole of space and time will collapse under the Glucose Event Horizon.
Weimar Republic hyperinflation with mars bars? Will this give rise toa Nestle Hitler?
So when did we adopt the Mars Bar Standard? Right now it seems to be going into free-fall against the Hershey bar…
It’s an EU conspiracy. If the Mars bars are smaller, our athletes won’t get the required amount of saturated fat & refined sugar they require to perform – thus not winning as many medals at the next Olympics.
British Mars Bars for British workers I say. In pounds and ounces.
Mars Bars smaller? Less satisfying in all kinds of ways.
Won’t somebody please think of the athletes!
“Weimar Republic hyperinflation with mars bars? Will this give rise to a Nestle Hitler?”
Nah, Hitler liked babies.
I suspect that the first sentance was actually a moderator comment rather than part of the original post.
The government already conned us when they switched their Mars price index to the fun sized mars bar to avoid people noticing price rises… Oh I don’t know. This comment is so stupid any comment on it pales in comparison. What’s the point in trying to make funnies about it?
If I were to create an index of “stultifyingly ill informed opinion posing as fact, the owner of which is undeserving of lungs to wheeze out their facile idiocy” this would be the benchmark.
It’s a little known fact that the 1994 recession was caused by them changing the name of the marathon to snickers
This is as nothing when compared to the sad, sad day that Marathon was rebranded Snickers. Another example of a great British company (Mars Inc., McClean, Virginia), being forced to kow-tow to the demands of the EUSSR and ZaNuLabor. Oh the humanity!
It’s not the EU, it’s a perfidious American conspiracy to replace the noble standard of the Mars Bar with the evil American Big Mac index. Do not let McDonalds determine the value of the pound in your pocket! Make them sew a 5 pence piece into every Mars Bar wrapper as recompense!
Shillings, wringhim. Make them sew a shilling into every Mars Bar wrapper.
“Diabetics, sportmen and heavy workers will be forced to take two smaller bars”
Are these heavy workers not already obese?
I love the way there’s a full stop, then he remembers he’s left it out the phrase that pays and gets it in at the end.
I remember reading about the “Mars Bar Index” being a more reliable and accurate descriptor of true inflation way back in the 80′s.
Unfortunately P Sanatamaria’s argument falls apart faster than Cheryl Cole’s legs when you read the following Financial Times article which points out that the Mars Bar index has already survived several resizing exercises so this new one will make no difference whatsoever to a completely spurious mental exercise in economics.
http://specials.ft.com/nicocolchester/FT3XZDJSEIC.html
And those of us living on the Scampi Fries Standard couldn’t give a fuck anyway.
PC idiots.
This Heavy-worker’s double-bar purchasing will create a massive demand for Mars Bars! Forcing Mars to raise prices. When The Bank of England sees the Mars Bar Standard increase, they’ll raise interest rates. Forcing Mars to raise prices. Forcing The Bank to raise rates. Raising prices… Raising rates… Prices… Rates… Prices… Rates… argghhhh make it stop!!! You’ll soon be paid in wheelbarrow loads of IOUs from Mars.
All King Sized Mars Bars technically belong to The Crown and qualify as Maundy money. At Agincourt, Henry V said, “Any man who hath no stomach for this fight can have a King Sized Mars Bar and depart. We would not die in that man’s company”
He’s right though. Blah blah Thatcher blah.
When the streets are full of dead diabetics and we slump to last in the next Olympics medal table, you PC Idiots will look pretty foolish. If I’m right.
I wish they’d publicise this kind of thing a bit more, I thought my hands were retaining water or something. I had to have two more just to calm myself down.
I found this at The Radio One “Yoof HYS” on the thread,
“as yur gurl eva, like, really beltid ya, an’ that?”
There are loads of kwalitee stories of how i wasn’t doin’ nuffin and the silly cow comes at me with the pizza-cutter yeah, so I knocked ‘er teef aht and she’s all blub blub blub to the filth.
Funny Peculiar – Fuck you, you’re a cunt. Fuck off.
How come fun size Mars bars are smaller than normal Mars bars?
They should be at least twice the size.
I can just see the CEO’s of the confectionary industry being hauled into the Treasury Select Committee for a grilling. Will their apologies be more genuine than those of Fred ‘the shred’ Goodwin and his peers, though?
P Santamaria: The mars bar has been the standard controll for inflation
I thought that was setting interest rates. But no, it’s Mars Bars. So how exactly does this work? Perhaps they vary their size…
Great stuff guys!!
“i remonstrated and went for a bath”
This is my new favourite phrase.
From the “should the government forcefeed your grandchildren E” thread
“This from someone who has never touched a drug other than disprin or panadol and the occasional glass of wine: Ecstasy should not have been heard of – should not be available in the first place, like cars which spray grit/sand on the road in front of you.
They are not available but cars like that would be great. But Ecstasy – shouldn’t be available in the first place.
IllustriousFrisby”
I would lay off the disprin if I were you.
Not even Jesus could forgive the sorry cunts that contribute so much general hatred and foul wank on “HYS”.
The worst part is I suspect many of them are well into their 40s and 50s and with offspring.
I wish there was some way to give them all a basic History, Sociology, English, Geography, Business and media lesson over the course of 24 hours.
Just the fact HYS exists is enough to annoy the hell out of me. I would have thought the BBC would be embarrassed by the shit thrown about all over the website and in emails read out on shows, but they appear to love it.
Luckily though I haven’t seen “Topsy” posting in a while, fuck face that he is. Grrrrr, grrr I say.
I usually do it the other way round.
tsch! I’m not even going to dignify that comment with an ans…
D’oh!
Funny Peculiar – Fuck you, you’re still a cunt. Fuck off.
I remonstrate you, Boxer.
I will now go for a bath.
I’m not surprised that the writer of that comment is from P. de Santamaria, Granada on the Costa del Sol.
Please feel pity for those of us who are actually from the South coast of Spain. We have to put up with the finest specimens of English ex-pats on a daily basis.