I have a lot of respect for perfumiers. I mean, think of the genius who had to come up with Kerry Katona’s signature scent. They had to consider the fundamental abstract notions of Katona-ness, distill them into a chemical form, and manage to make the result not smell like chip fat and tears.
That’s why I like this blog comment from the Stephanomics economy blog.
every saver in the uk banks should withdraw all their savings within the next 3 weeks,the thrifty and sensible people are being ruined by this imcompetant goverment, mpc, call it what you like, dont help them ,hit them where it hurts. this country is a total shambles.
brownlookslikeafish
Take the essential concepts of a HYS post – I am the most important person in the world, I could fix everything with a simple gesture, My knee-jerk reactions are infinitely cleverer than a plan developed by a team of seasoned professionals, I have a nebulous hatred of the government and Gordon Brown personally – and this is the fractional distillation of them: 48 badly-punctuated words of such epic failure to understand I’m actually tempted to give it a go, just to be able to track down brownlookslikeafish as he stands in line waiting to pay a thousand quid for a loaf of bread and ask him exactly how he thinks an economy collapsed by a run on the banks makes this country GREAT once more.
27 Responses to “Smells Like Teen Logic”
He obviously wants to turn this ‘Once great country’ into the McStalinist nuliarbore state that I frequently here mentioned on HYS, with the bread queues et al.
Fucking typo..’see mentioned’. I blame Gordon Clown, and am so angry I’m off to Northern Rock to stand in a long line, take out my savings and put it on the 3-45 at Wolverhampton.
To be fair, I think you’re jumping to conclusions. He never said it was Gordon Brown who looks like a fish. He could have meant Charlie Brown, though fictional cartoon characters are generally not worth your time insulting. Perhaps he was referring to Chris Brown, though that might be construed as a little racist. He could have even meant the colour brown, which would make no sense at all, and frankly, I don’t know why you’d even bring it up.
He could be referring to the colour brown in some homage to surrealism. Much like his actual idea.
It’s part of a malformed “joke”.
Q: What’s brown and looks like a fish?
A: COD-on Brown
ALTERNATIVE PUNCHLINE ALERT:
A: Gordon Clownfish
Thank fuck he has given us a three week deadline to withdraw all our money from the banks.
The thing that annoys me most about bank runs and why I tend to try not to get involved is all the queueing. Doing this over three weeks seems much more civilised.
Just transfer it into Paypal, then it’s easier to invest in one of those nice safe Nigerian schemes.
Good point Kelvin, personally I don’t need to worry about my savings.
When that Netherlandsh Lottery win comesh in I’ll be quidsh in.
Is it just me, or is there the distillation of some special quality of HYSness in brownlookslikeafish’s attempt at the word? I’m struggling for the metaphor, but this is to spelling what Thalidomide is to human DNA.
I’m picturing an exceptionally clumsy dilettante. Like, he’s gone to paint a cathedral but tripped and put his head through the canvas and then he and the canvas have gone rolling down the hill into a flying buttress and knocked the whole thing down. But he’s still quite cheerful.
Surely if you wanted to hit the Government where it hurts, you’d move to a different country and refuse to pay their taxes. Effectively summarised as “if you dislike them so much why don’t you go live somewhere else”
I really hope his bank plan comes off, as I have spent the last 6 months collecting shiny pebbles to barter.
If pebbles don’t take off as currency I will just have to hit people over the head and eat them.
Either way it’s a win.
If we are going to give brownlookslikeafish the economy he believes we deserve just so we can stand next to him in filthy rags and shout “Y’SEE?… TWAT!“. Then can we also have the government that Topsy thinks we deserve?
I’m actually at a loss to understand what kind of government Topsy wants. I think he’d be happy with a paperclip in charge as long as it phoned him up and agreed with him every time he made a post on HYS.
His message delivered to the people, brownlookslikeafish stood in the queue for the cash machine cackling maniacally.
Brilliant suggestion brownlookslikeafish.
I shall urge my elderly mother to withdraw her life savings. In cash.
She can then be mugged by a Lesbian, single-parent, immigrunt asylum-seeking migrunt wurker, thus proving every HYSer to be absolutely correct.
If I’m right.
I can offer 5 cowrie shells to 1 shiny pebble. Commission free and buy-back guarantee.
I’m warming to Topsy – when was the last time Cod-on Clown told the populace they were adorable?
you shpeek my languich!
That’sh MY language, pal.
Heh, that reminds me of the old pisstake on the Paperclip assistant in Word, etc.
“Hi, it looks like you’re trying to form a reasonably cogent argument to post on HYS. Do you want me to:
- save you the bother and post a blinkered xenophobic world view with less tolerance than a room full of Mosleys?
- completely fuck up the spelling and grammar, rendering your post less readable and even less fun than the Bumper Book of Contract Clauses?
- leave you alone while you save the world one crusty keystroke at a time?”
What would happen if we all took our money out on one day, then deposited it back again the following day? Would that teach anyone any lessons?
“I’m afraid Her Majesty’s ctizens are a bit more cute than that nowadays, comrade.”
Topsy is well wrong there,it is Her Majesty’s(gawd bless’er) KITTENS that are a bit more cute-she has a lovely collection of brown & white fluffy ones stashed away in one of the tops rooms of Buck House…Phil drinks their blood each night to keep himself alive
So there you go…proof (if it were needed) that Topsy is a cunt
This stream of consciousness is from HYS ‘How have you been saving money during the recession?’
It’s very easy mock, but a lot of thought has gone into the selection of three weeks as a deadline. The underlying mathematics are astonishing. Considerations like total savings, number of savers, daily withdrawal limits, number of cash machines, time spent waiting in line etc. all of these will have been factored in, it isn’t like he just snatched that figure out of thin air you know.
Why does the phrase “mentally hilarious ex-girl band jizz-puppet” come to mind when I read this?
Perhaps you’ve smelled the product in question? They avoided the chip fat and tears but there’s a distinct overtone of broken dreams and unenthusiastic intercourse.