Plain Weird25 Feb 2009 03:43 pm
By Nelson

This is just another sympton of the world population overshoot.

Too many billions chasing jobs.

The Pope is possible the biggest problem on Earth. At least many Islamic leaders are now advising smaller famillies.

If I’m wrong shoot me.
Phil, Enfield

If you spend too much time on HYS, it’s easy to let despair overwhelm you. Then, just when you’re starting to worry that there’s no hope at all for our species, Phil comes up with a brilliant idea like that.

51 Responses to “Role Model”

  1. on 25 Feb 2009 at 4:15 pm Felna

    maybe theirs hope for HYS after all.

  2. on 25 Feb 2009 at 4:18 pm Dr Shade

    Killing HYSers who are wrong IS a brilliant idea but shooting them is too merciful.

    They should be battered to death with their own keyboards.

  3. on 25 Feb 2009 at 4:27 pm Dr Shade

    And just when yuo think there’s hope for HYS someone like this comes along…

    As a Christian I am sad that so many people live not knowing God and the blessings He brings. If we were all Christians how much better life would be – no AIDS, no STD’s (as we would only have one partner and no sex before marriage), we would all be safe on the streets with no muggings, no theft etc. We would all be on the lookout to help each other – what a wonderful life we would have.

    Unless you’re a little old lady with a cat being burned alive at the stake by the Inquisition or a pre-teen choir boy being buggered up the shithole by the parish priest of course…

  4. on 25 Feb 2009 at 4:32 pm Ceannair

    Unless you’re a little old lady with a cat being burned alive at the stake by the Inquisition or a pre-teen choir boy being buggered up the shithole by the parish priest of course…

    ———-

    Why would they want to burn a cat ?

    Ohhhhh I see what I did!

    Shoot me!

  5. on 25 Feb 2009 at 4:47 pm These People Walk Among Us

    Big thoughts from a small brane there.

  6. on 25 Feb 2009 at 4:48 pm Dr Feelgood

    As a Christian…

    What unspeakable bollocks, for fuck’s sake. What sort of Christian precisely? Like that nice ‘Archbishop’ Richard Williamson, perhaps?

  7. on 25 Feb 2009 at 5:08 pm fucko the clown

    But the pope has already got a job, so he isn’t really a threat to our phil and the others looking for a job chasing things.

    that means I can shoot him?

  8. on 25 Feb 2009 at 5:22 pm Hacksaw Jim Duggan

    As a Christian I am sad that so many people live not knowing God and the blessings He brings

    It appears that our despairing christian likes to put a capital letter before every word that is important in her life.

    Well as an Atheist I am happy that so many people have Sex before marriage, knowing that they have something better to do than squatting on their keyboards and Defecating mindless Cunt-dribble all over the internet.

  9. on 25 Feb 2009 at 5:26 pm Dr Shade

    I am happy that so many people have Sex before marriage

    Me too, but it’s a bugger getting the spunk stains out of the bridal gown though.

  10. on 25 Feb 2009 at 5:30 pm Hacksaw Jim Duggan

    Its OK, I’m married to Jet from the Gladiators. Jizz seems to come right out of Lycra.

  11. on 25 Feb 2009 at 5:38 pm Tin King

    Yeah, if only those strict Roman Catholic countries like India and China would follow the example of Italy, which has negative population growth because it is less influenced by that crazy Pope person.

    That way the world population would be less overshot.

  12. on 25 Feb 2009 at 8:58 pm Graduatecalling

    I dunno if we would be safe if we were all Christian… the bible can give you some nasty papercuts for one.

  13. on 25 Feb 2009 at 10:13 pm Moe

    Am left wondering the population has overshot exactly. Perhaps it was just Phil, and now he’s now feeling a insecure about it.

  14. on 26 Feb 2009 at 5:06 am Barnaby Jones

    I heard that the Pope is actually a black man – only he had that thing what Michael Jackson had done to him done.

    Anyone up for a lynching?

  15. on 26 Feb 2009 at 9:00 am funny peculiar

    As a Christian I am sad that so many people live not knowing God and the blessings He brings. If we were all Christians how much better life would be – no AIDS, no STD’s (as we would only have one partner and no sex before marriage), we would all be safe on the streets with no muggings, no theft etc. We would all be on the lookout to help each other – what a wonderful life we would have.

    Maybe you should start some sort of crusade to bring it about.

  16. on 26 Feb 2009 at 10:17 am winker

    As a Christian I am sad

    End of.

  17. on 26 Feb 2009 at 10:21 am Pope Benedict XVI

    The crusades were years ago and I wish you people would stop fvcking going on about it.

    There are many more recent examples of brutality, intolerance and bigotry to focus on.

  18. on 26 Feb 2009 at 11:08 am Dr Feelgood

    Maybe you should start some sort of crusade to bring it about.

    Maybe, but perhaps first GOD should send down a MESSIAH figure. HE could teach us the WAY to a good and moral life, perhaps by using simple everyday mataphors to explain complex theological issues.

    Then, when we’ve heard enough we can execute HIM on trumped up charges and get back to the usual thieving, drinking and shagging.

    What do you think? Has this been tried before?

  19. on 26 Feb 2009 at 12:07 pm Alex

    I remember back in the middle ages Renaissance when everyone was Christian. There was no premarital sex or crime or nothing.

  20. on 26 Feb 2009 at 1:06 pm Ceannair

    STOP SCIMITARCRIMING NOW!!!

  21. on 26 Feb 2009 at 1:11 pm Dave

    I have to admit that Phil of Enfield is absolutely correct. My wife and I only have one young son and last year our local Imam advised us not to invest too heavily in the stock market as he reckoned it was due to crash in the near future.

  22. on 26 Feb 2009 at 1:11 pm Funny Peculiar

    Just when you thought he couldn’t possibly be a bigger tit than he already is, Topsy digs deep, raises the bar and clears it with style… From today’s thread on ‘What Music Inspires You?’ He has plopped this into top spot…

    Two pieces of music that have always inspired me are our National Anthem and The Last Post. I’m not being jingoisitc, I’m being serious.

    Those two pieces of music give me hope that we can make Britain great once more instead of handing it over on a plate.

    It’s a shame our politicians aren’t equally as inspired.

    Topsy Turvy, England, United Kingdom

    Can you imagine this 27 year old weeping during the last post at the memory of Mafeking and Khartoum?

  23. on 26 Feb 2009 at 1:17 pm Funny Peculiar

    Sorry sorry sorry… I know I just posted a Topsy quote, but…

    If you mention this so-called “credit crunch” to someone from anywhere else in Europe they look at you like you’ve just fallen here from Mars.

    WAKE UP PEOPLE – there is no “credit crunch”!!

    “Credit crunch” is just a nice little convenient term that the government have managed to get the media to bandy about in order to cover up the fact that Britons are taxed to death and charged WAY over the odds for all our goods and services!

    We’d all be rolling in it if lived in france…

    Topsy Turvy, England, United Kingdom

    :-o

  24. on 26 Feb 2009 at 1:24 pm Mr Cat

    Don’t apologisse FP – I like them.

    If you mention this so-called “credit crunch” to someone from anywhere else in Europe they look at you like you’ve just fallen here from Mars.

    Its because they call it “Le Crunche de Credite” over there Topsy. If I had someone screaming buzz words at me in a foreign language I’d be a bit disconcerted.

    (image in mind of Topsy approaching randoms on Parisian streets and shouting “CREDIT CRUNCH!” at them to gauge their response)

  25. on 26 Feb 2009 at 1:55 pm DonkeySquicker

    As a christian

    Ezekiel 23:19-21 (NIV)

    19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt.
    20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
    21 So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.

    Sounds good to me.

  26. on 26 Feb 2009 at 1:57 pm DonkeySquicker

    We’d all be rolling in it if lived in france…

    If you like france so much…

  27. on 26 Feb 2009 at 2:03 pm Dr Shade

    Its OK, I’m married to Jet from the Gladiators. Jizz seems to come right out of Lycra.

    “Jizz” would be a BRILLIANT name for a Gladiator!!!!!1!!!

  28. on 26 Feb 2009 at 3:14 pm Throbbe

    “Well, he was doing well to start with, until he got splattered by Jizz”

    Yep, that would work.

  29. on 26 Feb 2009 at 3:44 pm Fucko the clown

    Relax, there probably is no god*, so stop wasting your time posting about him on the internet when you could be watching tubgirl** ***

    *except on airplanes, even I get religious then

    **google her, she is a gem

    *** don’t google her at work.

  30. on 27 Feb 2009 at 1:05 pm Hacksaw Jim Duggan

    I would definitely give a big AWOOOGA to Jizz.

  31. on 27 Feb 2009 at 1:07 pm Hacksaw Jim Duggan

    Although I’m not sure Ulrika could swallow a whole gladiator . . .

  32. on 27 Feb 2009 at 8:50 pm I hate shorthand

    shrthd is rly bd cs it dsnt mke mch snse ad is stpd ad gy wy dnt shrthnd pple go die.

  33. on 27 Feb 2009 at 10:53 pm DT

    Donkeysquicker:

    the King James Version sounds so much better, particularly when delivered in the style of the Reverend Ian Paisley;

    “Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt”

  34. on 01 Mar 2009 at 2:36 pm downfader

    ..with regards the Topsy Turvy quote… rolling in what exactly? Is that why the french smell the way they do?

  35. on 01 Mar 2009 at 5:10 pm DonkeySquicker

    I didn’t have a KJV handy, but where did the donkeys go?

  36. on 01 Mar 2009 at 8:29 pm Blackadder

    I feel another catchphrase coming on.

    If I’m wrong shoot me.

  37. on 01 Mar 2009 at 8:33 pm Jasmine

    This website is very funny- brilliant in fact, but to be honest I think it would be a hundred times better if you didn’t feel the need to come across like a bigoted twat in writing after every entry. It’s clear that you like to stamp your opinion around the place, and I bet it’s very satisfying, although I’d be careful of writing the same sort of cunt dribble that everybody else comes out with..
    best wishes, you big twat of a cock cunt fucker,
    Jasmine.
    p.s. I realise I’m just as bad as you for writing this, and I admit it feels very good

  38. on 01 Mar 2009 at 8:40 pm Jasmine

    (also I disagree with the discrimination against people who are computer illiterate. It upsets me that I didn’t even know where to post this comment)
    now… you can all call me a wanker… GO!

  39. on 01 Mar 2009 at 10:13 pm Kelvin

    For those who don’t understand where the above comes from, we got featured in The Guide on Saturday so you can expect a bit more of us being told what to do by people who take seriously a “Recession Chic” article where the cheapest item is a £185 blouse.

  40. on 02 Mar 2009 at 12:26 am DonkeySquicker

    You should be more entertaining and less ghastly!

    blah.

  41. on 02 Mar 2009 at 2:01 am Indignant Person C

    I for one think that there are too many vowels on this website. Srt this out plz.

  42. on 02 Mar 2009 at 7:35 am Jasmine

    That wasn’t so bad, considering I don’t read the guide..
    at least you didn’t have a go at my punctuation, that might have truly pushed me over the edge..

  43. on 02 Mar 2009 at 9:03 am millie

    we got featured in The Guide on Saturday so you can expect a bit more of us being told what to do by people who take seriously a “Recession Chic” article where the cheapest item is a £185 blouse.

    No it wasn’t, the John Lewis socks cost a lot less than that.

  44. on 02 Mar 2009 at 11:13 am downfader

    ..£40 a pair? ;-P

  45. on 02 Mar 2009 at 5:15 pm Kowalski

    I reckon the pope IS the cause of the wolrd’s population growth-no woman is safe when that dirty little git is around-he will have them stripped and spread in the back of the popemobile before you can say “benedictine”!
    He should be more like that Allah bloke -just take blokes up the shitter, that will solve the world population crisis in no time!

  46. on 02 Mar 2009 at 9:17 pm cripes

    This website makes me feel a little bad about myself. Thank you.

  47. on 03 Mar 2009 at 11:54 am Jehovah

    DT quoted only the verse 19. The full quote from KJV goes:

    19Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt.

    20For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

    21Thus thou calledst to remembrance the lewdness of thy youth, in bruising thy teats by the Egyptians for the paps of thy youth.

    Imagine the rating the Bible would get on CapAlert…

  48. on 03 Mar 2009 at 12:00 pm Il Pape

    As a Christian I am sad that so many people live not knowing God and the blessings He brings. If we were all Christians how much better life would be…

    As an atheist I am sad that so many people live not knowing that unnecessarily restricting their diet and dressing up in funny clothes in an attempt legitimise the fact that they spend vast tracts of their time talking to their imaginary friend(s) doesn’t actually make them morally superior to their fellow human beings.

    However, as any fule kno, possessing a computer, internet access and a sense of perspective large enough to see that HYS and its ilk are the unholy repositories for the unstable mental diarrhoea of a thousand spittle flecked wastes of skin DOES make you morally superior to your fellow human beings, you credulous panda’s pissflap.

  49. on 03 Mar 2009 at 1:16 pm Funny Peculiar

    Are you saying, your holiness, if we all mocked the stupid on the internet, how much better life would be…?

    Would we still need the funny clothes to do this?

  50. on 03 Mar 2009 at 4:20 pm Dr Shade

    Would we still need the funny clothes to do this?

    Nope. The funny clothes you’ve got on now are fine.

  51. on 04 Mar 2009 at 4:37 pm Kowalski

    or we could just sit at our PCs in our underpants all day-I know I do :)