spEak You're bRanes

As a child, I found it odd when cartoon villains referred to themselves as evil. I assumed everyone believed, on some level, that their actions were ultimately good, and I later came to see blind arrogance, selfishness and well-meaning stupidity as the causes of suffering. But then I found this smug santorum-stain, and his perverse games of onedownmanship. For example this tussle with regular twat angry man and his nightmarish vision of Cameron’s Britain:

‘Children back down the mines, workhouses, the death penalty, slavery, no tax for the rich, same old same old
angry man ‘

Yup !!!! Just the way it should be.

Our streets WILL be safe.

Educate yourself, work hard, and you WILL be rewarded.

A far cry from leechy Gordon.
[mugged_as_mp_laughs]

And confronted with injustice, he promptly orders ten boxes:

No other civilised country has a limit anything like as long as this; it’s simply a sign of the increasing slide into an undemocratic police state over which Labour has presided.
Jan Thomas, Arnold, notts, United Kingdom

Hmmm, So are you saying AMERICA is not ‘civilised’ ?

I think 7 years prison without explanation (extraordinary rendition) beats the crummy, paltry 42 days the Brits want.

Lock em up. Give us our Human Right to be protected.
[mugged_as_mp_laughs]

Despite his championing of the police state, he is nonetheless a tireless campaigner for individual rights.

This new lot havn’t (and never will) ever known freedom from meddling Civil Servants…..feel sorry for peeps today with all this environmental rubbish, the EU, Hitler style rules, men who are wimps etc etc.
[mugged_as_mp_laughs]

Just so you know “Hitler-style” refers to smoking bans, no parking on children and PC stuff about racial and religious hatred, and definitely does not include anything like this:

As has always been the case on this planet, ONLY the strong survive.

It is only God who will decide.

The weak should perish.
[mugged_as_mp_laughs]

And don’t think [mugged_as_mp_laughs] wastes hours on HYS instead of generating wealth or contributing to society. His is a far higher calling.

‘Judging by the number of names that appear frequently in HYS debates, I assume a lot of unemployed people use this site to fill in their time

On my lunch break ‘

Oh dear. Still working are we ?

Ever thought a LOT of people worked hard , saved hard, and have made enough money to not NEED to work after the old age of 40 ?

Don’t assume just because you HAVE to work that others do as well..

Get a proper job !

Then you can enjoy life after retiring early.
[mugged_as_mp_laughs]

How many “proper” jobs will earn you enough to retire by forty? Tennis pro? Porn star? Or is he just sitting on a big sack of embezzled pension funds?

Should you have to pay money to the government in exchange for a government-provided service? Most self-recommended comment:

Firstly, why isn’t the alleged government picking on the corporate big boys?

They are the real culprits, they who produce and manufacture the huge and unnecessary bulk of ‘packaging’, and ‘family size’ portions destined for the bin, fooling ordinary folk into believing they are purchasing ‘bargains’, when most goes to waste. Labour has orchestrated a campaign against English families, so why is this practice continuing?

Answer. Because Labour epitomise the destruction of England.

Withnail Xtreme, Camden Town

Another brilliant key change. There I was, a few lines from the end, thinking how great it was that a sane post had got to the top. I swear, I was actually thinking of recommending it. Then BOOM, nought to Melanie Phillips in a split second. I wonder what Ferrari’s R&D division would pay for this guy’s brain.

Will the great unemployed of the country have to pay this new tax, or is it restricted for the few of us still fool enough to attempt to earn a living in this ONCE great nation?

john Adair, England Not Britain, Virgin Islands (UK)

Things must be getting bad if John Adair is putting ‘once’ in capitals instead of ‘great’.

Another council tax that will only apply to the working population of the country.
If I get made redundant I dont think I will bother getting another job, I will be better off and better looked after on the Dole.

Alicia Shepherd

Good to see Have Your Sayers putting their money where their mouth is and signing on. While you’re at it, why not invest in copies of the Koran and Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit and get that free X-Box you’ve always wanted? Lop off a leg and they might even chuck in Halo 2.

Very passable, this snow, very passable. Who’d have thought, eighteen years ago, t’ country’d be in t’ grip of worst weather since then? Why,

when I were a lad and we had weather WORSE than this, we were made to stand in front of our desks and jump up and down to get warm – the bottles of free school milk would be frozen

Dave Mazzetti, Aylesbury, United Kingdom

But you know, we were ‘appy in those days, because us winters was so bad.

When I was a kid, we had heavy snowfalls and ice every year and, yet, life went on. I still cycled 5 miles to a school, which was always open!

Brian Phillips

Cycle? Cycle? Luxury!

I walked over 6 miles to work in the snow and got there on time I got up early and started my walk. I was on a 6am start on that day.

Man with No Name Wakefield, England, United Kingdom

You were lucky you had proper SNOW t’ walk through!

A couple or so inches of snow is NOT heavy snow. Some of us are of an age to remember 1960s winters… not the pale imitations we get now.

helen simmons

Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox wi’ negative equity at twelve o’clock at night, and shovel up t’ snow wi’ TEETH. We had half a handful of freezing no public transport, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for immigrants t’ tek us jobs, and when we got home, our Gordon Clown’d tax us within an inch of us lives t’ pay f’ poles t’ ave penis enlargements on t’ NHS.

Right,

why all the fuss? when i was a child if it didnt snow every year it was unusual,we had our sledges made ready and the local lake was guanrateed to freeze thick enough to skate on, we still had to go to school,walking through heavy drifts,no closures then, and no central heating,or double glazing,just a coal fire,and scraping the ice off the windows to see if it was still snowing,

irene bolger, towyn n wales

And if you tell that to young people today, they’ll knifecrime yer!

Thanks to Declan for finding this pair of comments on a Guardian article about an animated film.

I must say that I have been totally offended and I will not see this movie. I don’t know if anyone caught it but in the trailer as the man is scanning they have actually put in a …PENIS being scanned. Do we have to continue to take things “to the next level” in a childrens animated movie? Two thumbs down. Very Very poor judgement from the film company to NBC to airing it!!!!
tmckib – 02 Feb 09, 2:02am

I stand corrected and apologize. Upon showing it to my wife as we reviewed it, we found that it was his elbow and the shirt on his arm is what I thought was this image. So I more than likely will still go and see it. Again I am sorry for posting the prior message.
tmckib – 02 Feb 09, 3:34am

Update: There’s not much to add to this one but eliMordino noticed “[...] the pause before ‘PENIS’. I imagine him with a handkerchief held to his mouth, pure horror on his face.”

The periodical HYS cheer-up thread has always seemed a bit like Robert Peston delivering the financial news in a clown costume. You know he doesn’t really believe in the tone, you know no-one watching believes in the tone, and everyone knows the tone just makes the report sound more sarcastic than it should be.

Well, everyone except Danny, as discovered by JB.

Reasons to be cheerful?
i love life atm.
iv spent hundreds on my new bedroom,
iv had a chilling weekend with my mates and im now settled for school, but most
of all i know i have a scooter waitin in my shed ready for when im 16 on friday =]

Danny Kershaw, Crawshawbooth

Danny doesn’t mention his reason not to be so cheerful: he’s been banned from MySpace and Facebook so HYS is his final chance to reach out into the bleak void of existence and hope that another collection of squirmy gristle and synapses will give a fuck whether he lives or dies.

And the worst of it is, with those tiny scooter engines you have to suck on the hosepipe for hours before it all ceases to matter any more.

Thanks to Thomas. “Do children have it tougher than ever?”

When I were a lad we used to play chess, football and other healthy fun games for a teenager. Nowadays it seems kids just want to get blind drunk and murder the nearest passer-by. What went wrong?
Brian, Manchester

You just have to accept that you’re getting old, Brian. Chess is out. Pissed-up murdering is in.

I found this in the same thread.

How can this be independent – its a report carried out by an organisation whose sole purpose is to improve children’s wellbeing. It would have been a little surprising if it had said ‘things are great!’. I wonder how many people to give them money would rather have their donations spent on kids really in trouble than this pointless gesture.
Tom, Bath

It’s all about “balance”. Sure, these jokers are fanatically trying to improve children’s wellbeing but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t pay attention to them. Just like it’s ok to broadcast “Children in Need” but only if we don’t take sides.