Delusions of Grandeur04 Mar 2009 03:50 pm
By Nelson
What’s the outlook for ITV?
It seems that schadenfreude is alive and well at the BBC.
If there’s one thing worse that the BBC’s narcissistic belief that everyone in the country is obsessed with following its own internal wranglings, its the BBC’s prurient delight in covering its rivals’ misfortunes.
Andrew Carter, London, United Kingdom
It’s almost as if those nutters at the BBC think everyone still watches telly n shit. Don’t they know we’re all too busy experiencing the thrill of genuine democracy as we screech our opinions into the internet?
Oh, and Schadenfreude says she’s very well, thanks, although her pigtails are getting a bit long and occasionally get caught in her lederhosen.
46 Responses to “Bless My Homeland Forever”
I reckon Andrew Carter should be posted under regular twats. He is responsible for a fair bit of arse gravy on HYS after all.
Andrew Carter, London, United Kingdom isn’t that bad. At least it’s not London, England (not United Kingdom as all those closet secessionists have it. He can spell too, and his punctuation’s not bad either – almost alone amongst HYS writers he knows where to put his apostrophes.
He doesn’t know that nouns in German take a capital letter, though. Cunt.
Carter the Unstoppable Shite Machine.
I bloody hate the way that the bbc rub it in when their rivals are having problems- whereas they brush all their own controversies under the carpet.
He has actually included a multi syllable word in his rancid offering, thereby taking him several degrees above the average HYS turd fest! Still crap though
Why do the BBC care what happens to ITV? Why do we care, for that matter?
I have sympathy for Carter on this one. Blummin’ Nicky Campbell asked the head of the ITV if he wished he was funded by the Licence Fee, rather than by advertising at least 3 times.
Radio 5 Live this morning had interviews with people alterately saying Coronation Street is boring and should be taken off, followed by different people saying they’d be lost without Coronation Street. One person even said that they don’t even have a TV. The whole navel gazing thing took about 10 minutes.
Obviously very newsworthy. It’s not like we’re involved in wars or our Prime Minister has gone to speak to the Congress and Senate about the global finance crisis or anything.
Aaand relax.
Watch yourself pigfrottage! I tried to make exactly the same point about a certain sainted sleb and got a dose of the verbals for it…!
How do you know it wasn’t the same person doing different voices just to wind you up? That Enn Reitel’s bloody good at that you know!
Bloody anarchist!!!1!
Well, now that Max Clifford is down to just 3 press releases a day on Saint Jade they have to fill the news with SOMETHING…
The BBC do it to ITV because ITV do it to the BBC. It all started back around the dodgy competitions scandals. You also have to remember that ITV news is like the TV version of the Daily Mail so always likes the opportunity to dig at the BBC.
And my comment turns into HYS.
If ITV had a HYS site we’d get some real drivel, it would make the BBC one look tame.
ITV is only only going down the pan because it’s run by Peedos and stuff innit.
Wake Up!!!!!111!!!
Damn..double usage of only, the shame
Our Andrew’s got a point though hasn’t he. London is in the United Kingdom. Bless his daft little arse.
“I reckon Andrew Carter should be posted under regular twats.”
And while we’re at it, I feel the weather should be reported in Fahrenheit, British people don’t want to hear that forrun Celcius malarky.
Check out the recommended comments on the US Congress topic – oh dear.
I misread that as ‘London is the United Kingdom’. Which it is really, innit?
Thanks JGFC. Noted. Her new hubby’s already facing new charges of assault or something isn’t he? (Can open, worms all over the place.)
Actually, if you want to stare down the barrels of deep, dark depression you need to listen to 5 Live in the morning. this morning was prescription charges… It’s like HYS with brief sports updates.
Must. Resist. Factual. Comment.
truly fucking hellish
The Brown’s Congress speech thread is full of people who seem to expect the Prime Minister to announce his resignation and a general election in a speech to another country’s legislative body before our own!
Practically the only people saying things about his actual speech seem to be Americans, who clearly bothered to watch it rather than the British HYS lot who put out the same shit regardless of what topic it is!
There seems to be an almost warm mocking towards King-of-Grammar Andrew Carter. Before we cosy up to him too much, I bet Hitler could punctuate properly too…
HYS Topic Is this the start of spring?
Mon, Apr, 21, 2008.
(Retrieved from ‘Newsniffer’ the website where the rejected HYS comments end up)
BONG!
Fate of ITV more important than lives of darkies in Bongo-Bongo-Bangladeshland
BONG!
Coloureds and females reading the news
BONG!
Evening Standard bought by dodgy Russian. Thank God he’s caucasian.
BONG!
The country is going to Hell in a Handbasket
BONG!
er… that was my impression of the ITN news, by the way.
I officially revise my previous opinion of Andrew Carter (moderately literate, total cunt) to pre-school literate, still a total cunt. Not only does he begin his sentence with a conjunction, but also his sentence lacks a subject and a predicate! What a loser!
guys guys guys, he’s not all that in the grammar stakes – look, he’s got two “its” in the same sentence and only one of them is correct. come on, credit where it’s due, not to some semi-literate nasty little racist bastard.
(my lack of capitals is an aesthetic choice, by the by.)
in fact there’s three in that sentence and two out of three are correct. still better than most but come on, have standards fallen so low?
also he wrote ‘that’ instead of ‘than’. moron.
I’m telling you, our Andrew (he hates being called Andy!!) is dead clever. He’s got a GCSE in Being Clever and Stuff.
@Kowalski:
Er, I think ‘multisyllabic’ is the word you want not ‘multi syllable words’!
It’s rather unfortunate that mistake popped up in a message where you were taking the mickey out of other people’s English.
Relax, I’m a Paki.
Fucking hell. My punctuation!
The first sentence should have read, “Er, I think ‘multisyllabic’ is the word you want – not ‘multi syllable words’.”
Relax, I like throwing stones from inside glass houses.
ha ha! Arse gravy.
Who gives a fuck
I don’t have time to actually THINK about this crap
So, is this the point where we bring up Jade Goody? Or is that later?
Is cancer near East Angular?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E10Bp_mPXXA&feature=PlayList&p=1EF76ABAA77F9302&playnext=1&index=1
This video is pure Have your say parody
That reminded me of an old friend who used to spend his day ripping cones, pausing briefly to talk shit. He was from Aylesbury, so it was slightly right-wing shit as well!
That’d be *poly*syllabic.
Jeeeez, Scooby, I wish you’d pre-warned us that it was a Mitchell & Webb sketch – I’m still in urgent need of counselling after seeing Robert Webb do that Flashdance routine on telly the other weekend.
MUMMMY!
Oh yeah, and Andrew Carter is a twunt.
(Deliberate overuse of the letter ‘M’, there. Honestly…)
In German, Schadenfreude is capitalized, as are all nouns. When used as a loanword in English, however, it is not, unless the origin of the word is meant to be emphasized.
(Isn’t it strange that all this fevered brain-dumping on teh interwebs has revitalised the petty but vicious sport of grammar-baiting? Today I shall be ending my sentence with a prepostition for your irritation to toy with.)
((or was that a phrasal verb – you decide))
Sesquipedalian ftw
The only people who paint themselves into corners are those who know just enough about a paintbrush to follow the instructions and not enough to look at bigger picture. I hope all you armchair English teachers are having fun.
This morning it was someone chucking green custard all over Peter Mandelson. You couldn’t make it up!
This grammar and punctuation baiting is something up with which I refuse to put.
Yes, thank you.
Also, I believe the instructions for most good quality paintbrushes advise against listening to bland, vicarish vignettes such as ‘Thought For The Day’ during painting; while it may lead to the acquisition of mildly witty aphorisms and pithy life metaphors, it may distract from the job in hand and lead to streaks or smearing.
A commendably tortured metaphor, Kelvin. Now please one of you turn the thing with the blah words back on, please?
Seriously, though, can you imagine if they didn’t cover it? Accusations of corruption, bias and dishonesty all round. It may not be interesting, but they’re kind of obliged to mention this stuff…
I love toying with the “I don’t care about climate change, so what if Bangladesh flood?” brigade. They are mighty smug until you point out to them how many refugees any major environmental disaster will create. What with the pressure it will no doubt place on regional resources, plenty of people are going to think they might as well give the wealthy West a crack. They might be forrens but they’re not stupid enough just to sit there and drown.
No, Andrew Carter of London, United Kingdom, they’re going to be ’round your house quick smart, drinking your tea and asking if you’ve got any Jammy Dodgers.
Imagining the expression of impotent rage on these cunts faces as I explain to them it’s all their fault they’ve got a wave of refugees almost makes me look forward to our impending doom.
Andrew Carter’s latest gem:
Surely if Shadenfruede is a lady her pigtails would be getting caught in her dirndl rather than her lederhosen.