Plain Weird and Racists11 Mar 2009 09:17 am

Lucrative muslim/Christian Conflict

By Alex

Thanks to Mike. The astoundingly insightful Canuckie has finally identified who really pulls the strings, and without any help from facts, logic or evidence.

A military muslim interpretor, or translator makes the same money in one year that a contract security guard does in ten years. I think you see the incentive the military muslim interpretors, and translators have in keeping any lucrative muslim/ Christian conflict going-

canuckie

Odd. You would have thought the vastly powerful interpretation-translation complex would have more to gain from promoting jaw-jaw.

35 Responses to “Lucrative muslim/Christian Conflict”

  1. on 11 Mar 2009 at 9:27 am   fucko the clown

    Canuckie is a genius, all the time we’ve been after the taliban and insurgents when this whole war is being perpetuated by a few cash hungry interpretors.

    either that or he is a big sweaty platapuss pink taco

  2. on 11 Mar 2009 at 9:46 am   Monkeycum

    I cottoned onto this very same thing some time ago and decided to take advantage by learning muslim.

    But the grammar proved too difficult to master and the pronunciation was all but inpenetrable, so I promptly gave up.

    It’s a closed door I tell you.

  3. on 11 Mar 2009 at 9:59 am   Patrick

    For a start, there is not such thing as a “Muslim interpretor”, because Islam is not a language.
    Of course! It must be the translators messing it up on purpose! Not America and Britain marching into Afghanistan and Iraq illegally and killing hundreds and thousands of civilians.

  4. on 11 Mar 2009 at 10:14 am   Google Language Tools

    For a start, there is not such thing as a “Muslim interpretor”, because Islam is not a language.
    Of course! It must be the translators messing it up on purpose! Not America and Britain marching into Afghanistan and Iraq illegally and killing hundreds and thousands of civilians.

    Translation in process….

    “I am a covert supporter of the Axis of Evil(TM) and have been hiding weapons-grade uranium in my brother-in-law’s garage. I am deeply to commited to supporting the forces of Neo-conservative christian fundamentalist/ beardy weirdy Islamofascist, (delete as appropriate,) terror and have planned, financed and implemented plans to strap crudely fashioned explosives to young impressionable British Pakistanis / largely unjustified million dollar airstrikes on your families’ houses (delete as appropriate). I believe that the only way forward for society is Jihad against the infidel / unfettered crusades against the forces of Islam (delete as appropriate) and the only way you’ll stop me and my colleagues from achieving our goals is by strapping electrodes to my testicles and forcing water up my nose to get me to tell you exactly what you wanted me to say about my Uncle Mahmood / Commanding Officer (delete as appropriate).”

    Your signature has already been appended to your statement and the Pakistani Military Police Officer will see you now. Thank-you for your time. Sorry Patrick me old son – you’ve been nicked.

  5. on 11 Mar 2009 at 10:15 am   millie

    The military muslim interpretors who translate into Jewish are far worse.

  6. on 11 Mar 2009 at 10:18 am   The Military-Industrial-Linguistic Complex

    Shit. Rumbled.

  7. on 11 Mar 2009 at 10:35 am   Mr Cat

    For a start, there is not such thing as a “Muslim interpretor”, because Islam is not a language.
    Of course! It must be the translators messing it up on purpose! Not America and Britain marching into Afghanistan and Iraq illegally and killing hundreds and thousands of civilians.

    I think you should go to the Guardian website and put Canuckie straight to end this terrible misunderstanding.

    And thanks for letting us all kow about the language thing – I was just on amazon looking for a “Muslim” phrasebook for my forthcoming holiday in “Islam”. You saved me a lot of time.

  8. on 11 Mar 2009 at 10:40 am   Ayatolla Cockporrige

    Everything in muslim countries is better. Even the translation services.

    So there…

  9. on 11 Mar 2009 at 10:45 am   rude name

    he is a big sweaty platapuss pink taco

    Snigger. How about Echindna’s spiky kebab?

  10. on 11 Mar 2009 at 11:28 am   Throbbe

    Actually, I think you’ll find he’s a security guard, and a bit bitter about it. Naturally, his low station in life is the result oof some sinister conspiracy, and not the fact that he is a complete spunk trumpet.

  11. on 11 Mar 2009 at 11:30 am   Anglo-Welsh (Not British)

    “For a start, there is not such thing as a “Muslim interpretor”, because Islam is not a language.”

    That’s what they want you to think, Patrick – that’s what they *want* you to think.

  12. on 11 Mar 2009 at 12:51 pm   Dr Feelgood

    Oh ffs – so now it’s the translators who are really behind international conflicts. I’ve only just got used to believing it was the giant alien reptiles in disguise.

    Will you please make up your MINDS! I can’t cope with these constant shifts in my world view.

    Mind you, could explain a lot, I mean the United Nations is packed full with translators and look at how many wars that organization has started.

  13. on 11 Mar 2009 at 1:11 pm   Hiberno-celtic (not human)

    If you like Muslim so much why don’t you go live there????

  14. on 11 Mar 2009 at 1:13 pm   Dr Shade

    But canuckie’s theory makes no sense!

    While I’ve never actually been to Muslimia or Islamistan I can say with absolute certainty that ALL of the muslims I’ve ever met have spoken English – most of them better than the knifecriming feral hoodies of our Green & Pleasant land (a certain professional reality tv pikey springs to mind but as she’s a bit poorly and soon to be best friends with the Baby Jebus I’ll say nowt…)

  15. on 11 Mar 2009 at 1:16 pm   Funny Peculiar

    Same with those Gealic-American translators in Ireland. The latest upsurge in violence is by a breakaway group of 1-2-1 language consultants who are angry at the lack of work due to the peace process. They’d happily take alternative work in school system, but, of course, they’re not black or muslim, so are refused entry onto the training course.

    What can they do but resort to violence to get the good times flowing again?

  16. on 11 Mar 2009 at 1:17 pm   tired of pc loonies

    stupid question. imo illegals are interfering in our lives again because they hate the british people. we must speak english. it is only a matter of time before race riots spill blood on our streets!!!

  17. on 11 Mar 2009 at 1:21 pm   Dick Cheney

    And I spent all that time focusing on Oil and Military Hardware!!! Fucksticks! If only I’d known! Those shifty tea-towel-head bastards! Keeping all the good action for themselves!

    Translation services! How did we miss that? Fuck!

  18. on 11 Mar 2009 at 2:18 pm   Mr Cat

    By the way Canuckie is a security guard – he refers to it in onther posts he makes.

    He’s also brilliantly insanely unbalanced.

    For example

    Heroin seizures by customs:

    Admittedly, this huge bust is political posturing. We have to look at any busts as a good thing. The purpose of the busts is to prevent the young backpacking girls of Canada from being injected with heroin by pimps, and turned into whores.
    Thumbs up to the Frankenstein head; look out Dr. U.S.A. Frankenstein.

    or

    Science/Religion?

    A combined field is a gift from God for fieldmice; full of freshly mutilated, and tasty, insects.
    It’s like the mouse eating the yolk of the cracked eggs in the egg skids knowing he just has to run to the next egg skid to be in heaven again.
    The brain is much too complex to know all its intricacies.
    After all, you’d have to understand all the ways a brain could be damaged, the repairs made, and the results of the repairs. Good luck, Doctor Dolittle.

    This is great reading.

  19. on 11 Mar 2009 at 3:50 pm   Dr Shade

    We have to look at any busts as a good thing

    I always do… 8-)

  20. on 11 Mar 2009 at 5:23 pm   Throbbe

    I reckon Canuckie is just upset that Lauren Laverne went on to have a career of her own.

    They are quite beautifully deranged though.

  21. on 11 Mar 2009 at 5:42 pm   Dr Shade

    The purpose of the busts is to prevent the young backpacking girls of Canada from being injected with heroin by pimps, and turned into whores.

    Why specifically young backpacking Canadian girls? Do they make extra-sexy drugged-up whores or something? Or do they just have lots more stamina in the sack from all that backpacking around the Rockies?

    Thumbs up to the Frankenstein head; look out Dr. U.S.A. Frankenstein.</blockquotes)

    Erm, something tells me it’s not just the young backpacking whores of Canada that have been injected with heroin…

  22. on 11 Mar 2009 at 5:43 pm   Dr Shade

    Argh!

    Buggered up the buggering buggery blockquotes…!

    FuckittyfuckittyfuckittyFUCK!!!11!!

  23. on 11 Mar 2009 at 6:02 pm   Bit Special

    The years have not been kind to Canuckie since Rizzo left him…

  24. on 11 Mar 2009 at 6:43 pm   Wide

    on the graun’s website you can recommend your own posts. I notice this spunkbubble has a lot of “Recommended (1)” at the end of his.

  25. on 11 Mar 2009 at 9:07 pm   pidgeon christian

    Ok I don’t have any Muslim but have some conversational Christian, how do I get onto this Gravy train. My local college only does German and French evening classes. It’s got brick walls so I think it might be a conspiracy.

  26. on 11 Mar 2009 at 9:28 pm   Nuts (not bollox)

    You can’t beat this thread for sheer, unadulterated, 100% pure, idiotic, Islamophobic, racist bullshit : http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?forumID=6183&edition=1&ttl=20090311212623

  27. on 11 Mar 2009 at 10:26 pm   Danivon

    That Islamic banking thread is barking. Half of them are complaining that it’s the same as legalising female genital mutilation, and is a terrible imposition on our Christian system of usury.

    The other half keep asking if the accounts would be open to non-Muslims (ffs, yes, just like you can go into a Halal/Kosher butchers and buy meat – just don’t ask for 6 rashers of bacon).

  28. on 11 Mar 2009 at 11:13 pm   sharon

    Why specifically young backpacking Canadian girls?

    Canuck is a slang term for a Canadian.

  29. on 12 Mar 2009 at 8:59 am   Funny Peculiar

    a Halal/Kosher butchers

    I go there, “Goldblum and Saud” at the top of the highstreet. Very good service.

  30. on 12 Mar 2009 at 10:19 am   forrun

    ANY alternative to present banking practices would be welcome. This idea could indeed save the economy from being so stale that money will go out of fashion. I am all for having a place where I can keep my money without losing its value and many of us are not on the make and don’t expect to make money out of small deposits. I think this is a great idea and I had no idea such a Bank existed. Many of us only want to deposit in a bank for safe-keeping and this seems a sound idea. Joy

    Joy Pattinson, Switzerland

    from the islamic banking thread.

    Does Joy not know about the joys of a Swiss bank account? Like, the fact that you can get one the authorities can’t, like, trace and, like, stealth-tax you into poverty for? What a waste.

    I am a little worried about money going out of fashion. I mean, has anyone seen how hot shells and pebbles look in a designer wallet? Anyone?

  31. on 12 Mar 2009 at 2:01 pm   Monkeyhands

    He’s also been commenting on the Daily Mail website:

    I’ve asked hundreds of English women to move in with me, and help me take care of my family; not a single taker. I always point out to them how quickly my family can end their loneliness.

  32. on 12 Mar 2009 at 3:07 pm   Dr Shade

    How sad this Nu Labour Government have made the People of this once Great Country Allowed anyone in the Country, encourge men and women to live Separately As it does not pay for them to live as a couple my making you Financially better of by living alone.
    The agreeing to what Ricky C. Staines Stated. Put the whole propect of us all living Alone.
    Is this Really what Men and Women Want?
    - Richard, England

    Ah. the Joys Of random Capitalisation and Dodgy punctuation..,..

    He truly is a Dick.

  33. on 13 Mar 2009 at 10:10 pm   Clarabelle

    This is so typical of these people. I spend hundreds of pounds becoming fluent in Muslim so I can understand what they’re saying about me in their filthy corner shops only to find they’ve all started yabbering in Military Muslim. When will RIP OFF BRITAIN LEARN.

  34. on 16 Mar 2009 at 12:38 pm   steven

    So you mean this isn’t another Zionist/Communist conspiracy? Awhhh shucks

  35. on 17 Mar 2009 at 6:55 pm   john

    I can imagine it now, hordes of Muslim interpreters responding solely with “he said you’re a cunt”…