Moderation Martyrs and Racists12 Mar 2009 09:18 am

Revoloution!

By Alex

Thanks to Fay for finding Ian Jempson, despite attempts to silence him. Probably because he’s a “racist”:

i think you will find we are all Mixed race if you look at the gene pool from every person in the world , however religion and politics would stop me from ecouraging it, i’m english and like english things , i dont like africa as they are always fighting and for this reason alone would not want to have an african wife to produce a mixed race child.

ian jempson, Revoloutionsville

I had an African wife once. Said she was from Bournemouth, but you know how you can’t trust them. Anyway, African she was, always on the genocide. Couldn’t stop herself. Terrible show. Mind you it’s the kids I feel sorry for. Our youngest could never decide between Brideshead Revisited and mutilating his womenfolk with a machete. Poor wee mite.

Incidentally, try imagining that post in the voice of a child. It’s adorable.

Instead of a database containing our private movements , perhaps a more effective border police force , proper imigration checks coupled with really harsh hard punishments from the courts like hanging for planting bombs would stem the flood of crime ! Lets face it we are the dumping ground for the european criminals they are here all ready

ian jempson, Revoloutionsville

So what you’re saying is, we need to secure our borders to keep out the foreign criminals we’re already full of, and that the threat of death will deter bombers like the ones on 9/11 and 7/7?

Community service is flawed somewhat , i was assaulted by a person whilst being sat in a bar talking with friends , the attack was completely unprovoked he just walked up to me and punched me in the face, this was observed by a police officer in plain clothes who arrested the assailant , it came out in court this guy had previous for violence , firearms , burglary , He ended up being found guilty , his sentence was 200 hours community service !! Surely a prison sentence should have been given.

ian jempson, Revoloutionsville

Or a royal pardon and a packet of biscuits.

We all know the truth , Gordon Brown is as guilty as anybody in a bank for the crisis were all in now , and yes i think that jeremy clarksons remark calling mr Brown an “idiot ” was bang on . Ill be amazed if the Pro labour anti free speech agents let this post through !! The bias on here is amazing.

ian jempson, Revoloutionsville

I have to say, I’m getting really tired of making jokes about Moderation Martyrs. Blah blah you must be so oppressed, poor whitey maley heterosexualley abley-bodiedey non-Muslimey little Englishman blah blah. It’s all because of fuck knows what conspiratorial progressive liberal ideology-cum-reactionary set of religious beliefs yadda yadda JUST FUCKING LOOK AT THE THREADS. Read the most recommended comments, and thank the bounty of Not-Allah that the people whose job it is to keep BBC Have Your Say left-leaning are only working a demeaning, low-level online-media job and not keeping a nuclear power station from exploding.

45 Responses to “Revoloution!”

  1. on 12 Mar 2009 at 9:25 am   Jerm

    I’m imagining “Revoloutionsville” as a 3 bedroom semi in suburban Northampton.

  2. on 12 Mar 2009 at 9:30 am   Sarah

    I do wonder what the BBC has to do to convince racist HYSers that it’s not a nest of leftie vipers. If hiring Mel Phillips and Clarkson won’t do the trick, maybe they need to think about giving Nick Griffin his own chat show.

  3. on 12 Mar 2009 at 9:30 am   Bit Special

    I’m traumatised by the revelation that there’s multiple Jeremy Clarksons…

  4. on 12 Mar 2009 at 9:32 am   Jules

    I’m imagining a database of our private movements to be something like the Bristol Stool Scale.

    Sorry.

  5. on 12 Mar 2009 at 9:38 am   Felna

    He’s right about one thing, the bias on HYS is amazing – The BBC seems to filter out all the sensible and intelligent comments and just let all the fuckwittery and self-obsessed brain farts through!

  6. on 12 Mar 2009 at 9:53 am   Kelvin

    This is something I’ve been confused about for a long time, and this post seems as good a place to any to answer it. Which party is the lefty one and which is the righty one? Is the lefty one the one that likes privatising public industry, cosies up to the banks, was gung-ho about going to war in Iraq, fucks up the public transport infrastructure and tries to punish people out of private transport? Or is it the other one that likes privatising public industry, cosies up to the banks, was gung-ho about going to war in Iraq, fucks up the public transport infrastructure and tries to punish people out of private transport? Or is it the one that sits between the two of them scratching its chin and conceding that they both have some good points there?

  7. on 12 Mar 2009 at 9:55 am   millie

    Threatening suicide bombers with capital punishment. Brilliant.

  8. on 12 Mar 2009 at 9:55 am   Kelvin

    Our youngest could never decide between Brideshead Revisited and mutilating his womenfolk with a machete. Poor wee mite.

    Incidentally, try imagining that post in the voice of a child. It’s adorable.

    Alex, this made me laugh milk out of my nose. Twice.

  9. on 12 Mar 2009 at 10:01 am   Dai

    Free speech is the freedom to have everyone think your are a complete cunt.

  10. on 12 Mar 2009 at 10:06 am   Mr Cat

    i was assaulted by a person whilst being sat in a bar talking with friends , the attack was completely unprovoked he just walked up to me and punched me in the face

    Perhaps he was being naughty – Ian Jempson loves corporal punishment

    Smacking as a punishment is fine in my book , of course it should be used only as a last resort for bad behavour , but parents only need to give them a severe smack on the behind once and the kids soon get the message , then the threat of smacking is then enough to discourage bad behavour.
    And for those who say “smacking does not work” and “what if they continue to misbehave” well smack em harder first time round !My dad smacked me hard for being a “thieving little brat” and it worked for me.

    I heard they were going to use that exact argument in the defense case for “Baby P”‘s killers.

  11. on 12 Mar 2009 at 10:29 am   Emmanuel Goldstein

    Which party is left and which is right? Well, the BNP are “left authoritarian”, with their plans to increase NHS funding and keep the benefit system. Their only idea for cutting costs is to deport all the immigrunts.

    I’m jumping to a conclusion in assuming that “ian jempson” supports them. Ironic that his replacement for New Labour should be New New Labour, now with 100% extra fascism.

  12. on 12 Mar 2009 at 10:52 am   Call of Davrodu

    Where is this Heterosexualley? Worth a visit?

  13. on 12 Mar 2009 at 10:58 am   Colin Hitler

    I thought the BNP where more socially right wing. Whilst being economically left wing with a bit of racism chucked in which makes them slightly more right then left. So they are all over the place.

  14. on 12 Mar 2009 at 11:04 am   Nelson

    I’m imagining a database of our private movements to be something like the Bristol Stool Scale.

    My mum, who was a district nurse, brought me home a copy of that in the late 80s. She framed it for me too gawd bless her :)

  15. on 12 Mar 2009 at 11:04 am   Mr Obama

    ‘I still believe Mcain will win the election , all the obamas great rhetoric on this HYS means nothing’

    HA! In your Face so called Ian Jempson.

  16. on 12 Mar 2009 at 11:08 am   wringhim

    The BNP also want to shut down trades unions, take away our human rights, and make us all be farmers and soldiers. I think that rather than being on a wing, they’re in an entirely different part of the bird, maybe the cloaca.

    Also, is “Revoloutionsville” a contraction of “revolting lout ville”, or just a spelling mistake? It makes you think.

  17. on 12 Mar 2009 at 11:14 am   Mr Obama

    DEBATE:Do sexist men earn more?

    SENT:22-Sep-2008 13:27

    COMMENT:women need to accept that they are second best , thats why they cry all the time , accuse men of sexism when they compliment their good looks and figure . They are only here to have our kids and provide food for us . The worst decision ever made in the history of mankind was to let them on a golf course , get back to your washing and stop getting ideas above your station women !

    Ian Jempson

    dangerously ironic or just dangerous to women you decide.

  18. on 12 Mar 2009 at 11:17 am   kukomanga

    The line

    Or a royal pardon and a packet of biscuits.

    just made me laugh so hard I spat tea and non-name brand imitation Jammie Dodgers all over my keyboard.

  19. on 12 Mar 2009 at 11:22 am   Col John Matrix

    “They are only here to have our kids and provide food for us”

    If he tried my girlfriend’s cooking then he’d soon change his tune.

  20. on 12 Mar 2009 at 11:27 am   millie

    dangerously ironic or just dangerous to women you decide.

    I doubt this charmer has much contact with women. Well, not the real live breathing kind.

  21. on 12 Mar 2009 at 11:27 am   Gorgon

    Ian has been moved to recollect his emotion about old Gordon’s game…

    The Brown day

    Through the veils of lies and fog of fiscal discontent comes the brown ,
    No working man is safe , no matter where you are the brown will find you ,
    plundering all and sundry , casting misery across the land as the brown weilds its taxe ,
    cutting the the very fabric and soul from the laymans account , leaving rivers of cold and sad motionless family folk who once dreamed of better days,
    There is no evil like the brown , suffer while he counts and figures your lives tomorrow.
    ian jempson, Revoloutionsville

    Will nobody stop this endless poetry?

  22. on 12 Mar 2009 at 11:31 am   Mr Obama

    DEBATE:
    What would Cameron’s Conservative Britain be like
    COMMENT:
    I would hope that cameron would get into power then remove his mask and turn into a middle right facist , cutting benifitts , deporting illegal imm…YOU’RE A COCK, YOU’RE A COCK,YOU’RE A COCK!

  23. on 12 Mar 2009 at 11:33 am   kukomanga

    My mum, who was a district nurse, brought me home a copy of that in the late 80s.

    According to Wikipedia, the Bristol Stool Scale was first published in 1997. As it’s a well known FACT that Wikipedia is 100% accurate I can only conclude that your mum can see into the future. Why she would choose to use her powers to this end, I don’t know.

  24. on 12 Mar 2009 at 11:40 am   Tom Vance

    ‘I think if you are daft enough to let some bloke deliver his beans to market without precaution you should live with the consequences , and pay for them.’

    Eugh! God, he even makes sex sound disgusting.

  25. on 12 Mar 2009 at 12:20 pm   Far-q

    I’m with ian all the way. We should hang all suicide bombers. That’ll teach ‘em to kill ‘emselves on our BRITISH public transport.

    Blah.

  26. on 12 Mar 2009 at 12:25 pm   Daley Mayle

    Far-Q, you need hanging too – British? BRITISH? You mean Ingerlish, surely? Traitor!

  27. on 12 Mar 2009 at 12:35 pm   Weepy, Hormonal Baby Factory

    “They are only here to have our kids and provide food for us .”

    So that’s why he’s looking for a new, non-African wife. He ate the last one.*

    * And by ‘the last one’, I mean a German Exchange Student who smiled politely at him once in the Post Office Queue. She practically forced him to do it.

  28. on 12 Mar 2009 at 12:36 pm   dirigible

    maybe they need to think about giving Nick Griffin his own chat show

    Imagine if he rang up a respected elder statesman of British comedy and verbally abused him. The Daily Heil would be like Buridan’s Ass between two bales of hay.

  29. on 12 Mar 2009 at 1:03 pm   Dr Feelgood

    i was assaulted by a person whilst being sat in a bar talking with friends , the attack was completely unprovoked he just walked up to me and punched me in the face,

    Oh, that’s terrible, Ian, that really is. Perhaps it was a member of the militant wing of the Apostrophe Protection Society?

  30. on 12 Mar 2009 at 1:28 pm   Dr Shade

    i’m english and like english things , i dont like africa as they are always fighting and for this reason alone would not want to have an african wife to produce a mixed race child

    That’s a shame ian, because I have it on very good authority that those african women are queuing round the block for a bit of your hot cock action so’s they can use your DNA to produce a coffee-coloured mongoloid infant…

    the attack was completely unprovoked he just walked up to me and punched me in the face

    I would really like to know what utter cock-cheesed verbal jism ian was spewing out at the top of his voice in the minutes preceding this “completely unprovoked” attack, and in what way (if any) his opinions may or may not have related to the lady friend of the attacker…

    thats why they cry all the time , accuse men of sexism when they compliment their good looks and figure

    Has anyone explained to ian that standing outside some poor girl’s window in the pouring rain at 4 in the morning and screaming “Phwoar! You’ve got a cracking set of of tits, get ‘em out bitch!” does not technically equate to “complimenting their good looks and figure”?

    Still, a man has to have a hobby I suppose.

  31. on 12 Mar 2009 at 2:10 pm   Nelson

    According to Wikipedia, the Bristol Stool Scale was first published in 1997.

    It could easily have been 1997. You might wonder how I could confuse the late 80s with late 90s. Wait and see. And have a toke on this.

  32. on 12 Mar 2009 at 2:38 pm   Mark Renton

    My dad smacked me hard for being a “thieving little brat” and it worked for me.

    I blame the parents. Rewarding your kids with smack for thieving? Who dragged him up? Fagin?

    FFS my mother wouldn’t even let Ciggies in the house: never mind giving me hard-drugs as an incentive to engage in low-level criminality.

    I bet the f**ker’s on a register somewhere.

  33. on 12 Mar 2009 at 3:46 pm   Dr Shade

    I’m surprised ian hasn’t commented on the HYS knife crime debate yet, but there are plenty of other thought-turds on there…

    Knife crime is obviously a serious problem – just watch the news. It needs to be tackled by the “carrot and stick” approach.

    Muddled_Mouse, Harrogate

    Hmm. Knife-wielding feral hoodie versus HYS-er armed with a carrot and a stick…

    I’d pay good money to see that!!!!

    The big new office block in Reading is called The Blade. What signal does that give out!

    Steve, Reading

    Right on Steve! We all know you can’t walk around the streets near HAMPTON COURT without being bludgeoned to the ground by some thuggish Judge’s big cock…!

    Why won’t these building-nameing bastards think of teh childrins???!!1!?

    Suggest you ask Gordon Brown, for he is the most despicable ‘knife artist’ in the history of British politics.
    Just think about what he did to Tony Bliar throughout his woeful premiership and how many times he turned the knife on him, not to mention the massive stab in the back he gave to all pensioners when he plundered their lifetime’s investments and condemned them to a retirement of financial misery.
    So, what chance on knife crime when we have this political criminal leading by example?

    James, Southminster

    Too true! Last time I was mugged by a knifecriming pikey he specifically told me he was only doing it because Gord had sold off our Green and Pleasant Land’s gold reserves at an all-time low and had once stuck two fingers up at Tony Blair when he wasn’t looking. Seemed fair enough to me at the time.

    noooooooooooooooooooo wayyyyyy work harder
    but it isworkin a tiy bit lyl x

    daz

    And you wonder why they considered reclassifying cannabis…?

  34. on 12 Mar 2009 at 4:34 pm   Icarus Smicarus

    Oh, sorry Ian, that was me, I was getting sick of your horseshit and hunted you down to The Red Lion in Revoloutionsville where I found you discussing Gordon Clown’s immigration policies with a parrot and a Cabbage Patch Kid. The Community Service was a cruel punishment though, I assure you – you wouldn’t believe how many ice cream cones they made me wolf down.

  35. on 12 Mar 2009 at 6:12 pm   millie

    plundering all and sundry , casting misery across the land as the brown weilds its taxe ,

    Credit where credit’s due. He might not be able to spell, punctuate or write poetry but at least he inadvertantly got this lonesome apostrophe right.

  36. on 12 Mar 2009 at 7:22 pm   Bit Special

    You tell ‘em, James of Southminster! Why irrationally and paranoically blame and accuse the government for/of actual real events and problems when you can slate them for metaphorical crimes?!

    The world would be a far better place if we could just string up anyone who offended us via rudimentary symbolism.

  37. on 12 Mar 2009 at 11:21 pm   JeffLamp

    Community sentences: a victim’s story

    Mr Jempson says he has been deeply disappointed by the justice system

    Community sentences have come under fire for being too lenient on offenders. Here one victim explains why he thinks they are an inadequate form of punishment.

    About four years ago Ian Jempson was sitting chatting with his wife and some friends in a Leicestershire pub, when a man sat down next him and without provocation punched him in the face.

    see full, enlightening interview here:
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7919134.stm

    i like the conclusion:

    ” I mean, if that’s what you get with previous, if I went round with a few mates and duffed him up what would I get without previous? Probably very little.

    “It wouldn’t happen, but it is a thought that has to be explained if justice isn’t being seen to be done”

  38. on 13 Mar 2009 at 1:33 am   Token Paki

    @JeffLamp:

    According to the article, Ian Jempson has mates. The BBC has begun its long and precipitous descent into yellow journalism.

  39. on 13 Mar 2009 at 9:19 am   Co. Richard Hindrance (Mrs)

    My god. Just look at his smug little squashy face and pointy head. If I was in a pub with it I’d lamp it with a glass ashtray on general principles.

    And because of his brush with BBC fame he now believes himself to be one of the BBC’s team of pundits and qualified to spout his bollocks at will.

    Boo. I have a sad now. Goodbye.

  40. on 13 Mar 2009 at 12:14 pm   Mooska

    Normally I think that karma is bollocks, but I’m going to make an exception in Ian’s case.

  41. on 13 Mar 2009 at 4:35 pm   Stipendiary Magistrate

    what would I get without previous? Probably very little.

    Nah mate – you’re a sales manager, one up the food chain from plankton. They’d have thrown away the fucking key, you frothing Granny’s oyster.

    Do the maths fuckwit –

    1) Guy with obvious mental health issues momentarily lets the paranoia take a grip and lashes out in broad daylight, in front of an audience, in perceived self-defence.

    2) Mob of frothy mouthed vigilantes engage in a premeditated gang-attack on a lone, unarmed, individual in a darkened alley behind a back-street pub.

    Go on – go ahead – then see who gets the book thrown at them. Odds-on it wont be the mentalist; you fucking dimwit.

  42. on 16 Mar 2009 at 5:36 pm   fergus

    “Age bears no relevance to true love.”

    Ian Jempson, Revoloutionsville

    Pedo.

  43. on 19 Mar 2009 at 5:22 pm   Paul A

    He does science as well:

    The earths climate has changed over millions of years , the romans used to grow grapes up by hadrians wall , the sun controls the earths climate , not what man is doing, man cannot tame mother nature , the whole Man made global warming circus exists only to Tax and frighten , the gulf stream changes on its own accord , as do the ice caps .

    The gulf stream and ice caps change of their own accord – indicating intelligence and free will in both. I suppose if you are as crushingly stupid as Ian Jempson you might spot superior intelligence in just about anything – rocks, water, ice…

  44. on 22 Mar 2009 at 11:39 pm   Blackadder

    The worst decision ever made in the history of mankind was to let them on a golf course

    Coming in a close second as The Worst Decision Ever Made In The History Of Mankind is….bringing back Family Fortunes with Vernon Kaye.

  45. on 24 Mar 2009 at 6:32 pm   Gridlock

    Knife crime is obviously a serious problem – just watch the news. It needs to be tackled by the “carrot and stick” approach.

    Muddled_Mouse, Harrogate

    FFS, one of my all-time pet peeves; you use a carrot and stick to make a donkey move forwards. You speak softly and carry a big stick if you want to be taken seriously. Unless of course he’s advocating slowly moving knife-wielding criminals forwards by dangling something in front of them, attached to their necks somehow.

    Almost as bad as using “star-crossed” is a positive way – IT MEANS BAD THINGS.