Heroic Lone Voice of Impotent Resistance
By AlexThanks to Will. Lovely little comment this. Alright, his humour might go over the heads of some and he seems to think you can fight ignorance and prejudice with the online-opinion equivalent of tugging yourself off but, other than that, this is a rather good diagnosis.
Maybe I’m just wierd, but I like jargon, particularly catch-all terms like political correctness and social engineering. I use them all the time.
They are great because you can apply them to any situation – so much so that they have become meaningless. I no longer have to think before using them. It’s great.
Little Englander Xenophobe, HYS-BBC sponsored bastion of stupidity, ignorance, whinging and meaningless catch-alls
Recommended by 22 people
I like to imagine the other 21 all thought he really meant it.
137 Responses to “Heroic Lone Voice of Impotent Resistance”
I like jargon, too. Particularly military jargon. So much so, that you can use it in any situation.
For example: “let’s slot that raghead fucker” can be used at a drinks party, as it’s essentially meaningless.
And I no longer have to think.
Aww, bless! Give him/her a few years and he/she will have properly developed their sense of bitterness, misanthropy, despair and general black-humoured hatred of the entire world and found their way here, having given up trying to help HYSers see the error of their ways and just settled for mocking them mercilessly.
Just remembering a time when I too was that adorably naive brings a single stinging tear to my hateful eye.
> he seems to think you can fight ignorance and prejudice with the online-opinion equivalent of tugging yourself off
You mean you CAN’T? What are we doing here then?
Saving the world, aren’t we?
well count me out you one eyed freak monster.
From the thread/predictable whinge about Google street view:
google street view. I think this is verry good for planing were to go and see, wat to do, But looking at it you can see it would be a good tool for the rong things. I am consurnd with security. You can see sum of the security cameras, you will be able to look at vonerable spots. I hope the guvement will look at this closly. This will open a now chapter in the cunterys polices on the nations security.
I am sorry for the speling.
Robert, cardiff
This one gives me the piss-take/not piss-take psychosis. I especially like the word “cuntery”. Endless jokes in there.
And the way he spells “spelling” wrong.
@ twopoint6khz
google strete view meanz u can look at peeples kids. any googles come near my kids i swear ill do tiem
And the word “rong”.
The thread about assisted suicide has produced the edifying spectacle of HYSers begging for the right to be put down – the punchline is too easy so I won’t say it.
IF, IF, IF you become a vegetable?
The fighting has surely already begun.
I’m afraid the assisted suicide thing really is too, too easy. Mind you I found this one charming in a WTF kind of way…
“Of course everyone agrees (& esp Christians) that this should be done with “love and respect”, (hey they even put animals down that are suffering). However, we all fear that this will be a prelude to a law for the introduction of “Mass Euthanasia”, and does anyone actually trust the government not to save a few penny’s by mass-killing of those too costly to benefit society ?
[bradlypitt] ”
Mmmmmmm….. Mass euthanasia……. But the paranoia evident right towards the end is extra special.
Hey Flabulous – who’s to say those Auschwitz guards weren’t forcing those people into the gas ovens with “love & respect”…?
Mind you, Hitler *was* a vegetarian so he’s have been noshing on Captain Conservatives floppily-doppily bits before you could say “pass the salt, Mother!”
Google Street View again. Gotta love this:
“The military has been able to read tank number plates from space for the last 30 years. So much for privacy.
ANGRY OF MAYFAIR, LONDON W1, United Kingdom”
Who’d have thought my tank would have been of any interest to anyone? And I always wondered who the hell kept parking their T-90 up near Hyde Park corner. Now I know. Bastard.
@ Dr Shade
It was a mass cull because those pesky Jews, Gypsies and Gays were too costly to society.
Ahhh…. So it wasn’t a holocaust at all, does anyone have that Irving fella’s number?
Calm down dear. It’s a piss-take.
*said in a michael winner voice*
(I would have said it as MW but now I have to log in & out think I’ll just stick to being me from now on.)
“Honest, Yer Honour, me and me mates had just come from the match and we just ‘appened to meet this supporter of the other team and ‘e begged us – I mean ‘e really begged us! – to assist ‘im in his suicide coz ‘e was so upset that ‘is team stuffed us 6 – 0 in the cup final, honest ‘e did! So’s we all gave ‘im our bovver boots and ‘e kicked ‘isself to death wi’them…”
Sounds completely reasonable to me…
Since someone mentioned the assisted suicide thread:
Since Topsy was all in favour of torture a few days ago, I can only assume he sees enormous potential in this as a new form of torture. Chronically ill people could confess to all sorts of stuff.
21 other people? Are you suggesting “Little Englander Xenophobe” recommended his own contribution? What sort of self obsessed…oh shi-
“does anyone actually trust the government not to save a few penny’s by mass-killing of those too costly to benefit society?”
Loved this comment. I would be amazed if Alistair Darling wasn’t already warming up the gas chambers (or “fizzy fun chambers” as we’ll no doubt be required to call them in this PC, Zanu-Nu Labour days). What an unutterable cunt. If I’m right.
I found this one in the “should we call people Mrs, Miss or Ms” thread…
Not sure which one Gerondin prefers…
is jade dead yet? i’ve got a shit load of commemorative pewter tankards with queen of farts, motif tastefully etched on.
The BBC are running a survey on HYS. If you refresh the HYS home page enough times it should appear. It asks you what you like and dislike about HYS and I had trouble deciding which was which given my love/hate relationship with HYS
That’s always there. It seems that answering gets about as much of a result as posting on HYS does.
hey, i’m well edgy, me! did I mention how I’m a scary clown who touches kids? i well am, i’m a scary clown who touches kids! hahaha i’m so funny because i am a scary clown who touches kids! oh, um, that joke’s getting a bit old now so i suppose i’ll latch on to the jade goody thing because that’s getting lots of attention! that way i don’t have to go around restating other people’s jokes in less subtle terms and with the word cunt in them more often! HEY GUYS I AM EDGY PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE MY EXISTENCE
I too was all geared up to explain just why fucko’s comments get right up my red squeaky nose. Does anyone get anything out of them about from him?
actually i think fucko is very funny and clever. and handsome. i am not him by the way.
sorry to disappoint you alex but i was one of the 22 recommendations. just goes to show you can’t be too careful
I know Simon. That’s why I said the other 21.
any clowns come near my kids i swear ill do time
Dear Mr Flabulous,
May I interest you and your family in an all expenses paid trip to Westminster so that your children can meet a very enteraining chap called “Gordon”?
Yours Sincerely,
Doctor Shade.
Ha ha! See what I did there?
Because Mr Flabulous said he’d do for any clowns near his kids I pretended to invite him to Parliament to meet the Prime Minister because even though he’s called Gordon BROWN all the HYS-ers insist on calling him Gordon CLOWN! That way I’m imputing that the Prime Minister is actually a paedophile and that Mr Flabulous should give him a right good kicking for being a disgusting kiddie-fiddler as well as a shite Prime Minister!!!
Hmm. On second thoughts maybe I’ve been watching too much David Mitchell lately…
I’ll get me coat…
After, oooh, 3 hours of reading SYB and weeping with laughter and then being overcome with depression, I went back to ‘work’. Unfortunately I find it impossible to now read ANYTHING without seeing is as a HYS comment. Perusing a perfectly lucid scientific publication and keep thinking “ha! Cocks!”
So, thanks. Really. Thanks. I blame that Grodin Clown.
you can mock, but think of all the paedos typing in bald cunt into google expecting their usual wank material and instead they just get pictures of jade.
p.s. if you want to rip into me, at least have the stones to use your usual nickname, not that it will make any difference, I really don’t give a fuck what you write
haha! see what i did there, I made ANOTHER jade goody joke! I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING BUT MADE SHIT REFERENCES TO MINOR CELEBRITIES PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME TO DIE ALONE IN THE COLD
Perhaps I should have blamed that Jade Goody instead.
wow you are quite funny.
i completely agree that people who use other nicknames to get support for their argument are cunts and i know that someone as handsome and funny as fucko would never do such a despicable thing
if Jade jokes really wind you up I could keep going all day, but its not just me, even the BBC post all the news about her impending death in the entertainment section.
its true i can get like thirty more jokes from sickipedia before i even have to start thinking any up on my own which i could do because i am funny and original
That’s actually a good point. And a bit depressing in what it says about the nature of the human race. Regardless of what anyone thinks of her as a human bean, treating her imminent death as a hyped up media entertainment does leave a bad taste.
Now can we all just get back to ripping the piss out of the Topsy’s and Joy Pattinson’s of this world and making fun of teh sputids?
And here’s your starter for ten…
Sadly it was trying to embrace those fundamental differences between men and women that got the restraining order slapped on me! Curse you, Miley Cyrus’ Legal Team! Curse you all to HELL!!1!
I am a Ms (I suspect most lady-SYBers are) but this doesn’t make me Hitler*. There is a slight difference between not wanting to be patronised and implementing The Final Solution.
*The ‘tache is a different matter.
I don’t think I’m me at the moment.
No one has mentioned the weather forecast being in centigrade for a while. Anyone fancy reviving this old chestnut?
Bit Special – are you taken? You could be Ms Bit Special Sangrail if you play your cards right. It’s the ‘tache you see…
That doesn’t work Fucko, because there’s a huge market for shaved adult vaginas, which would, of course, be hairless yet not nonce-friendly. The other problem is that there are a huge number of euphemisms for that particular body part, not all of which are used derogatorily, and I’m sure the paedosexual community probably has a special euphemism for the hairless variety they seek that wouldn’t throw up lower-class celebrities in declining health.
Basically, it’s a good joke in itself but the specificity of the wording robs it of a lot of its humour. Maybe try rewording your jokes for maximum funny. I only say this because you’ve shown some potential and, since we on spEak You’re bRanes are really funny, we feel it our duty to promote high standards of humour in our commenters.
This comment thread really has been a load of bollocks.
You cunts should be ashamed of yourselves.
Oh FFS…
The Google Streetview/Magic-Camera-Eye-That-Can-See-Me-Wanking-In-My-Broom-Cupboard thread:
There was silly old me thinking bin-Laden & his band of highly trained and well-armed fanatical terrorists were hell-bent on killing, maiming and blowing the shit out of as much of the West as they could because they have a deep-seated fundamental idealogical hatred of our Christian/ Capitalist Culture…
And all along they were blowing up Trade Centres and Tube trains and London streets and slaughtering our braves boys in Kabul because they can’t fucking stand the sight of G Chandler’s monkey-shit coloured Fiesta with its beer-mat tax disc and were jealous of his 3-bedroom (counting the loft conversion!) mid-terrace ex-council house because it’s so much more roomier than the drafty caves they’re living in.
Well, maybe now they can actually find the dozy fucker’s house & car using Google’s “Magic All-Seeing-Eye” they can blow seven shades of semtex shit out of them and leave the rest of us alone!
I can understand the urge to shave your minge but to shave your vagina – well, that’s just perverse.
That Google Streetview one’s really out there. Usually it takes me a moment to realsie what a load of kneejerk shit these half-formed opinions are, but all this talk of terrorist paedos suddenly having access to public roads is just too much.
Oh fuck it, what’s the point? I haven’t used the word ‘fanny’ nearly enough in this post.
YEAH, NO_to_EU_Rule, YEAH!
You gotta fight! For your right! To buy into an outdated and offensive system, originating from the sale of women by their fathers to another family, and letting yourself be classified by your marital status and afforded the title level of a little girl until you marry and then change your title and name to prove you’re some bloke’s property, because obviously, a woman doesn’t become a real adult – or a real anything, come to that – without it being defined for her by a man!
That re-write of The Beastie Boys’ classic still needs a little work.
But seriously, NO_to_EU_Rule, don’t get so het up about it – there’s nothing a man finds less attractive than a sourpuss! Best to enjoy HYS whilst you can, because no real man is going to let you waste your time on the internet (much less have actual vague opinions!) when there’s housewifery to be done and subjugation to be enjoyed!
PS sorry Clovis, but I’m taken. You’d be amazed at how many men go for the ole she-tash. My young fella is even now dusting round me whilst I type. Hmmm, he’s forgotten to do the top of the PS3 – AGAIN!
What a cunt! You should get that clovis round your place, he’ll do your dusting for you AND get the top of the PS3. He is a convicted budgie-fucker, but very good at dusting.
A budgie-fucker, you say? Well, that changes everything.
Not.
Imagine a SYB version of Blind Date. Truly horrifying. But funny; very, very funny.
I hate men too. Death to our oppressors!
…
Want to lez up?
Erm………….. no.
(PS The Beastie Boys cover was sarcasm. You do realise that, don’t you?)
What? Married women still have the right to refer to themselves!?
Hell, we’re not doing enough to Islamofascistize this country, Gordon Clown, Alistair Darling, and I.
But we’re working on it, for sure. ZanuLiarBore are working tirelessly to let all the PC-mad, evil, paedophile, child-eating, one-eyed immigrants and Scottish idiots waiting in line in Calais in to Engerland.
Er, the one-eyed Scottish idiots have formed a queue just outside Gretna Green Services on the M74, actually.
@Topsy Xtreme in the Dock
[blockquote]
I hate men too. Death to our oppressors!
…
Want to lez up?
[\blockquote]
Death to the infidel lesbians.
Relax, I’m a Daily Mail reader.
I can’t even get a fucking blockquote right.
I must be a Daily Mail reader.
Or the Prime Minister.
Actually, I’m both.
@Token Paki:
If you really were a Paki *and* a Daily Mail reader, you would know that everything that’s going wrong with this country is your fucking fault, and nothing to do with people like me quitting our jobs in McCunts Deep-fried Burgerinnabun, to go on the dole and spend 14 hours a day wanking while posting on Have Your Say about how you fucking Paki’s have ruined everything.
Cunt.
If anyone else repeats some joke from Private Eye, I swear I’ll do time…
I am only a Ms until we are all officially Comrade.
Although given that I have my father’s surname, my father’s first name as my middle name, and my father’s father’s mother’s name as a first name, a mere “Ms” is not going to stop my name from being jawdroppingly patrilineal. I have checked as far back in my matrilineage as possible but that yielded a surname even less spellable than my current one so I decided to give up.
Maybe I should just change my name to Hairy Ballcrusher? I think it sounds rather pretty. The ambiguity over whether the hairiness is on me or the balls adds an extra element of excitement too.
Oh, and congrats on the tache, Bit Special. I had my Radical Feminist card taken away because I caved in and waxed mine, but I got it back by accusing them of racism for not appreciating that it is harder to be an Arab woman with facial hair visible from space.
I don’t really have a tache. Part of my misanthropy stems from the fact that I am tiny and dainty with a high girlish voice with a slight lisp, and every bastard treats me like I’m an adorable poppet or bimbette, even though I don’t dress like one. I am patted on the head at least once a week – despite being a bad tempered 30-summat Feminist. I hate the world.
Nice potential name change, though Mim. I considered changing my surname to Don’tEvenThinkAboutIt, in an attempt to put off the patronisation before it begins, but a name with many syllables just sounds so pompous and aristocratic, doesn’t it? Also, there’d never be enough space on forms to fit it in. Back to the drawing board.
I shall believe in your tache anyway.
I am luckily awkward and ugly enough not to be patted on the head, but far too insecure to be taken seriously anyway, since obviously if I don’t loudly assert myself like a public schoolboy wanker I can’t possibly have a right to say anything. Grrrrrr. Now I ensure embarrassed silence by being Very Open Indeed about being massively mad, which turns out to be enormously fun and means that people are too busy looking awkward to interrupt me.
I suspect that I would not be legally allowed that name. The Man is no fun.
Why don’t you look for a nice husband with the surname Ballcrusher? He’d probably be single with a name like that and you’d become a proper woman, as a bonus (note: NOT an added bonus).
Failing that, my brother (who is an ESC teacher) emailed me earlier to excitedly tell me he has a new student called Euripedes Kunte – amazingly, I think this is the second Kunte he’s taught. I think he’s single (Kunte, not my brother) – even though I don’t agree with women changing their names, I don’t think I could pass up the opportunity to become the phonetically-majestic Mrs Cunty, could you? Euripedes is pretty hot too.
(I too am eccentric to the point of making people cross the road to avoid me, am imperious, dismissive and arsey and also gratingly ‘awkward’ in that I pick everyone up on everything (teeniest hint of a racist comment? They’re going daaaaaaahn), tell off complete strangers (“Scuse me, I think you’ve forgotten to wash your hands “) and don’t let things drop, but I still get patted. And hit in the face by everyone’s bags cos I’m so short. I’m not a dwarf or a midget, though. Sorry to disappoint).
[blockquote]I can’t even get a fucking blockquote right.[/blockquote]
me neither.
In reference to your image on the top right, what term do you use to describe a person who simultaneously admires Hitler and Churchill; a self-loathing Nazi?
HYS is asking what people think Jade Goody’s legacy will be – I wonder how Fucko’s going to get past the moderators…
Given that we’ve seen comments reminding us that Churchill fought for our right to have immigrants forcibly sterlised, I’d call them “Topsy Turvy.”
Not to mention being a lovable front
for toxic RBS.
“Given that we’ve seen comments reminding us that Churchill fought for our right to have immigrants forcibly sterlised. [sic]”
Really, so where can I find such comments? Do they exist in the objective world independent of said commenter’s imagination?
It’s kind of ironic that clearly left leaning people should mock the stereotype embodied by the above comment; what is a racist today? The left has used the term racist so often it has lost all meaning.
List of things considered racist today: the cost of dying, laughing at goofy beards, anti-racist books, promoting integration and electing a black president (yep, that’s racist too!).
References:
the cost of dying http://www.theindychannel.com/health/18897802/detail.html#-
laughing at goofy beards http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1160520/Muslim-PC-sues-workmates-laughed-beard.html
anti-racist books http://www.lep.co.uk/manchesternews/Pupil-walks-out-over-39racist.5031657.jp
promoting integration http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/education/article5697694.ece
electing a black president http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/01/07/racism.study/index.html
His friends call him Nick, his business associated call him Mr Griffin, what everyone else calls him is unprintable.
Though considering Churchill had a couple of rather fanciful views on, er, Jewish co-operation and took a rather liberal line on gassing certain races, I find it more unusual that they didn’t get on.
I might extend the twat-o-tron to be able to generate this kind of comment too. It’s getting a bit stale with its reliance on racism and shit spelling.
“I might extend the twat-o-tron to be able to generate this kind of comment too. It’s getting a bit stale with its reliance on racism and shit spelling.”
Care to point out my spelling errors?
And to Mr. Alex above: a person cannot admire Hitler and wish his quest for world domination had succeeded and admire the man who succeeded in bringing his quest to a halt. Churchill did imply that Jewish people should be blamed for the crimes of communists because many early communists were Jewish, but he also claimed atheists should be blamed for the same reason and people openly say the same thing today and I don’t here any whining about anti-atheism or athephobia in response.
Mim? Bit Special? I’d be honoured if you would both marry me.
Relax, I’m just sleeping my way up to Robert A. Heinlein.
And of course all those people saying “I’m not racist but…” as foreplay to a rant about a particular race. If you keep demanding all these exceptions, naturally everyone will get confused.
Indeed; so many things have been labelled as racist that many people feel they have to begin a criticism of, say, Hamas’s clumsy bludgeoning of Israel with “I’m not racist but…”. The Zeitgeist demands it (the point I was making). Check out the blog Moonbattery and search for racist. It’s amazing what things have been deemed racist in today’s world: everything from laughing at funny beards to breathalyser tests. It would be funny.
And why will nobody address the contradiction in the image which attempts to highlight your stereotype of “diffrunt opinioned people”.
You clearly have a deep understanding of said Zeitgeist that I lack, so please can you help me by highlighting if any of these comments are racist and why:
1: That PC Steve Bettley was sacked from his job solely for being associated with a political party, while PC Alexander Omar Basha can continue work even though his anti-Semitism interfered with his job (he refused to guard the Israeli embassy as per his job orders) is an unfair double standard.
2: The Israeli government didn’t have a right, but an obligation to fight back after Hams’s random rocket attacks upon the Israeli civilian population. The response was not a disproportionate response because there is no such thing in war, and all civilian casualties in the Gaza Strip are the fault of Hamas due to their extensive use of human shields and storing munitions in crowded areas.
3: Muslims should not be given special privileges in schools or elsewhere at the taxpayers expense, for example prayer rooms in NHS hospitals.
Thanks for your help.
bless.
Shit. I’m not up to this today. I’m going to go and watch Ivor the Engine before I try to respond to any of that and go mad.
Geode M – “Care to point out my spelling errors?”. Yeah, you wrote ‘here’ instead of hear later on in your waffle. Also, you spelt Hamas as ‘Hams’ in the next comment (although that did give me the wonderful mental image of a giant, bearded rasher of bacon with a rocket launcher).
Millie got her quote from HYS. Have you heard of it? It’s what we all come here to slag off and laugh at. Mostly.
‘Mr’ Alex isn’t here to discuss those examples in a big, bloggy, intense way with you, or any of us. This is a place to mock teh stoopidz, be snarky about poor English skills, despair humorously and bitterly about clueless right-wingers or generic fucktards and if you’re Grov, troll for a ladywife (sorry, I’m taken*. By the ghost of Robert A Heinlein). I may or may not be doing some or most of those things in this very response…
PS Athephobia is not a fear/hatred of Atheists (a topic we do often moan about on here). Ah, fuck it – Mim, can I swap you your Ivor The Engine for my Noggin The Nog?
*Nightly**.
**ZING!
My Noggin the Nog isn’t playing in my DVD player. The bastards have won.
Must leave Internet. Argh.
Thanks, “Bit Special”, for responding to thingytroll but I like to think of this as the sort of place where someone can ask “And why will nobody address [...]?” and then be completely ignored… the silence implying the answer “because nobody gives a pan-fried horse cock”.
I just love it when they come here thinking they’ll “win against the lefties” and then completely failing to grasp that (a) we aren’t particularly attached to any political position, other than the one where you think about what you’re going to say before you announce a policy, and (b) we aren’t interested in arguing their tiny-brained grammatical wranglings with them and we’d rather just talk about how we’d like to write the word “clitoris” on their forehead with a soldering iron.
Sorry, Nelson Sensei, I have much to learn about the art of just ignoring twats instead of typing crap back at them before I fall into unconsciousness after exasperatedly banging my head against the keyboard repeatedly.
I think I went to a restaurant in Spain once that served pan-fried horse cock. I had the paella.
No particular political position? I’m disgusted. That is almost exactly like aligning yourself with the BNP.
bugger
No site is safe from the grassroots marketing arm of the BNP! The Left is to blame for all problems ever!!1!!!1!!!
Are we going to have some Jade Goody Grief Athletes, or would that be too obvious, like looking for twats in the Princess Diana Memorial Garden?
I’m still hoping Michael Foot will be PM. And just in case he kicks the (big red) bucket before it happens, I’ve been studying old eps of BSG to work out the whole Resurrection fandangle. If Xena Warrior Princess can get to grips with it, then it can’t be too hard.
(Apologies to any non-geeks who have absolutely no idea what I’m prattling on about. ‘Any more than normal’, yes, yes, I know)
I would like to ask why the following is considered racist:
1. Dressing up as a skinhead and beating the shit out of black people
2. The Transatlantic Slave Trade
3. Being Stupid Racist Cunt
Thanks for your help.
I think Michael Foot will stay alive indefinitely out of sheer social duty so we’ll be fine. And anyway, we can always just follow the ’83 manifesto to the letter. Although I’d rebind it in a colour other than mustard yellow.
The best thing to do is think, “what will I achieve by doing this?” You and I both know that no-one with HYS-worthy views has come to them by anything recognisable as rational thought, so you’re never going to wrangle them round with such tools as reason and logic. You can’t convince a thermonuclear warhead that it’s really a conference pear, and in many ways it’s intellectually dishonest to support such a cunty device in believing it has a right to even consider such a fruity role in society. In the same way, when someone comes along looking to denounce SYB on the terms of two words written on the header image, the best course of action is to sigh, think about what you might have for dinner, and patronise them. You won’t succeed in talking them round but then that was never on the agenda. What you might do is prompt them into an angry rant of self-justifying hyperbole, which is quite entertaining to read if you imagine them huffing helium after each sentence so their voice gets higher and higher the more objectionable their views become. Thus can shit be transformed into shinola.
@Geode M
Fuck off. You cunt.
Mim, I like you more with each new comment you leave. I was just having a squiz on wikipedia about the Footster and thinking how we need the 83 manifesto now more than ever. Sigh.
I kind of like the idea of keeping the mustard if only to stick two shabby, thrifty, hangnailed fingers up at all the other image-obsessed, over-branded political shit out there.
Oh, Sweet Jesus, HYS is asking people to write in with their memories of their families now. It won’t be published online, but I hope the researchers who have to wade through the entries will receive the highest level of counselling available. Is there anyone we can bribe to get hold of some of those?
@Bit Special: the whole of HYS is big BBC joke; it serves an excellent purpose in keeping all the whinging about ‘left wing bias’ (imported opinions from the US I might add) in the BBC in one place and manageable.
HYS is a work of genius, it makes these ultra-right-wing cockveins think they’re getting their voices heard. When in fact they’re just incoherently rambling into an echo chamber for the emotionally challenged.
Once you realise that the BBC are winding these people up on purpose, because it’s funny, most of your indignation at the whole thing will subside. Look at it as being the vent of a pressure cooker: it stops people, like Topsy Turvey, from completely exploding and taking out lots of innocent people with the shrapnel.
Fuck, sorry for writing such a long post. I’ll say something stupid to make up for it. Ummmm, thank heaven for little girls!
* Jazz Hands!!!! *
@Geode M
Fuck off. You cunt.
Characteristic eloquence! You’re all absolutely pathetic and incapable of undertaking in rational debate on an important subject. Go on, call me a cunt and compare to a skinhead again. At least you’re conceding you’re in the wrong.
Maybe I can be so pathetic too? You’re all a bunch of braindead pinko commies. Please don’t turn round on me and call me a McCarthyite now I’ve played your game along with you!
I type:
1: That PC Steve Bettley was sacked from his job solely for being associated with a political party, while PC Alexander Omar Basha can continue work even though his anti-Semitism interfered with his job (he refused to guard the Israeli embassy as per his job orders) is an unfair double standard.
2: The Israeli government didn’t have a right, but an obligation to fight back after Hams’s random rocket attacks upon the Israeli civilian population. The response was not a disproportionate response because there is no such thing in war, and all civilian casualties in the Gaza Strip are the fault of Hamas due to their extensive use of human shields and storing munitions in crowded areas.
3: Muslims should not be given special privileges in schools or elsewhere at the taxpayers expense, for example prayer rooms in NHS hospitals.
You compare it to:
1. Dressing up as a skinhead and beating the shit out of black people
2. The Transatlantic Slave Trade
3. Being Stupid Racist Cunt
I’m fed up of using the adjective pathetic to describe you dweebs, it won’t suffice. Any synonyms? Totally fucking pathetic perhaps?
Maybe if I add that most slaves taken in the 19th century were Europeans kidnapped by Muslim pirates I might get another rise of you and be called a racist cunt? Or maybe I could point out that Europeans who took slaves from Africa didn’t kidnap them but bought them from local black slave traders. A wait ar you reply.
*scratches bollocks*
Ummm. Fuck off. You cunt.
OK, it’s playground nuclear option for you sunshine.
[high pitched singsong voice]
Maybe if I add that most slaves taken in the 19th century were Europeans kidnapped by Muslim pirates I might get another rise of you and be called a racist cunt? Or maybe I could point out that Europeans who took slaves from Africa didn’t kidnap them but bought them from local black slave traders. A wait ar you reply.
[/high pitched singsong voice]
*wedgies GeodeM*
No fair, now I have to write under this stupid name all the time. Why so. I never had to log in before.
You seem to have this site mistaken for:
A place where erudite people can prance gaily around the meadow of opinions, massaging each other’s intellects and conducting a debating circle of wank to panpipe music.
It is, in fact, a place where a variety of fuckers suck on the inexhaustible breast of ridiculousness that is, primarily, the BBC’s Have your Say forum.
Now fuck off to Comment is Free you supercilious tit.
@bit special
oh wow…are you me?
(Psssst… everybody – I don’t think he realises that we already know about all the stuff he’s getting in a tizzy over. It’s quite sweet really – he thinks that now he’s used wikipedia he clearly knows stuff none of us do! Shall I explain to him that black people selling other black people as slaves doesn’t stop white people then buying and owning them any better or that white people being slaves doesn’t stop it being bad that black slaves also existed or shall I just call him a cunt and ignore him?)
“A wait ar you reply”
Wow, you’re very knowledgeable about the slave trade, GeodeM – is that cos you’re a barely literate 18th century Pirate?
GAARRRH off, you cunt.
My head hurts. Why did you come here. I reckon there is a mole, a dirty rat, a canary, who works for HYSites.
GeodeM, you win! Everything you say is correct and you have Won The Internet. Please note that your stunning victory has everything to do with your Very Important Opinions and nothing whatsoever to do with no-one wanting to have to same old dull conversation with another HYS retard. Feel free to collect your prize of a masturbatory feeling of superiority combined with a vague sense that everything hasn’t gone quite to plan.
He won the internet! What all of it. Man, thats something.
Joris – I’m confused now. It’s all getting a bit metaphysical. I might be you… I’m going to ring my mum and check.
Nope, I’m definitely me. I dunno why my Mum was crying so much. Strange woman.
Gnome Sec – I wasn’t angry at HYS asking for HYSer’s memories, I was delighted! I want those fuckers bound in a compendium covered in gold leaf and given out to every household in England (not Britain)… as a guideline to how not breed kids like GeodeM et al. Together, we CAN stamp out fucktardness within 1 or 2 generations!
(I hope he doesn’t write back saying he hasn’t got a brother called Al).
I don’t think there’s too many monarchists there. On a sunny day it’s a great place to eat your packed lunch whilst dangling your feet in a refreshing trickling stream.
Jesus wept. I have to log in now. Just as the quality of posts begins to plummet below the blah line.
Thats what she would of wanted to millie. The Queen of Hearts, Our hearts. God bless her.
@ cultofringo
True, we can paddle and feel the warmth of Princess Di & St Jade smiling down on us, gawd bless us one and all.
*tips cloth cap*
It’s quite difficult, as you’ve misrepresented all of them so you can be angry. If you really want me to try I can.
St.Jade! What she is already a Saint. Wow, the Vatican moves real fast these days.
Bit Special, you are right about the mustard.
GeodeM, it is adorable that you can be here for more than five seconds and think anyone wants to “debate” with you.
I contemplated re-enabling the blah filter.. but instead I just half-edited the file and then got distracted by some weetabix. Sorry about the downtime.
I am not a member of the Hamble Yacht Service!
The pressure is on. Succinct and hilarious from now on.
(I’ll carry on posting on BYB though).
Please do switch on the filter. This stopped being funny ages ago.
Could you just do it for this thread only (or at least Geode’s posts) then I won’t have to lose the will to live like every time I read Guardian CIF, where my response to everything usually is “I can’t believe supposedly intelligent people write this shit!”
I find my brain is auto-blahing the relevant posts anyway. One advantage of my current medication increase is that I glaze over very quickly.
“Little Englander Xenophobe, HYS-BBC sponsored bastion of stupidity, ignorance, whinging and meaningless catch-alls”
Attacking bigotry by being a bigot; Lovely irony, if intended. Probably just a cunt, though.
What a senseless waste of my time. I wrote it as a proper plugin this time though. So I can enable/disable it.
Just need to write an admin interface where I can select who to blah
@ Nelson
How about just disabling comments on this thread. Must be easier, no? Sorry to be such an arse about all this though.
(or am I just a cunt?)
wish i was omnipotent
Wish I was potent.
Fuck off. You cunt.
That’s hot. Now kiss.
Can I just say “Fuck Off, You Cunt” please? Or have I (harhar) missed the slot?
Geode point 2 is not racist but wrong and inexcusable support of disgusting governmental/military action on israel’s part.
—————–
Alex- i checked out your blog and the linked new statesman article on anti-semitism really made my blood boil. what a cunt
—————–
Bit Special/Mim, i’m dismayed to learn that i’m in some community rife with femtards. honestly “Ms” i ask you. and what’s this about marrying a Mr Ballcrusher and *taking his surname*? how old fashioned, how conformist.
I plan to take Mr Ballcrusher’s surname by force and then set his scrotum on fire, if that helps.
You made me cry, Simon. Now my boyfriend says he won’t let me use a computer any more if I’m going to upset my pretty little head over silly girl stuff.
Never mind, Bit Special, we can eat ice cream and watch Friends and talk about how awful those nasty men on the internet are.
Yippee! Shall I bring my My Little Pony collection so we can style their manes? I’ll just ring my boyfriend and ask if I’m allowed round yours unaccompanied.
It should be fine, I’m chaperoned at all times.
I can lend you some of my daughters’ dressing up clothes and hannah montana gear if you like.