Thanks to Tom.
From reading “Have Your Say” is it evident to me that most people in the world hate the US and all we stand for. Therefore, I say we withdraw our military forces from all overseas bases and deployed areas. Futhermore, we withdraw from the UN, especially all financial aid. But, our limp president is all talk. He is more concerned about wasting honest workers tax dollars than doing what is best for the people, land, and nation.
Old Soldier, TC USA
You can’t just withdraw ALL military forces overnight and expect the rest of the world to cope, you selfish shithead. Perhaps you could burn a few of their kids and leave behind some mines and unexploded cluster bombs to help them slowly aclimatise?
71 Responses to “Unloved, Unwanted, Unhinged”
Can you withdraw all the McDonalds as well and dunkin donuts, there’s far too many gut buckets waddling around this once great country, victims of the insatiable creep of corporate America….Give me convenience or give me death.
“From reading “Have Your Say” is it evident to me that most people in the world hate the US and all we stand for.”
Sorry? Which “Have Your Say” have you been reading?
Yep, withdraw all that, but PLEASE don’t stop sending tourists over, cos apart from mocking our own numptys (like Topsy), us SYBers love nothing more than mocking fat stupid yanks (overheard in Tower of London “so which one WAS King Norman?”)
Or how about giving back all the looted antiquities, paying a fair price for the natural resources and shutting the fuck up about Jebus for five minutes?
Can they take Gwyneth Paltrow as well.
And that odd bloke she married.
I for one would hate the US that little bit less.
It’s amazing how all these small-town closet racists come blinking into the sunlight after hiding in a cave during the Bush years.
I love the joined-up logic of withdrawing from an international political stage, and in the same breath complaining about Obama ‘ruining the economy’. Absolutely brilliant. Top HYSer. Would use again! A+++++
And that whole “everybody hates us so we’ll withdraw all our military forces” malarky is an American having a go at taking irony for a walk right?
I like that his second proposal is to withdraw from the UN, when that’s what they did in order to do exactly the opposite of his first proposal.
I don’t think this is fair. Some nations have been so damaged by decades of dictatorship, they’d never have the wherewithal to raze their own cities.
Withdrawing international American military influence to help the US economy and make the US safer?
Must. Resist. Making. Serious. Comment.
You see this all the time on HYS – even more so if you actually believe Topsy’s naval gazing. Why do all the ex-military people feel like being trained in which end of a gun shoots the painful stuff gives them some magical fix-everything political ability? You know what they say, when the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. If you actually had a world leader who saw every single problem in terms of who to lob bombs at, you’d have… actually, you’d have George W Bush.
In these circumstances, my first thought is always “what would Jade Goody have done?” That’s the key here.
..and while you’re at it why not put North America back the way you found it …..
Don’t start incontinentia, before you know it, the morality police cavalry division will be here on the high horse squad.
Jade would probably have said something about poppadoms and pakis, and then just got her kebab out.
ah the princess of hearts
If the Old Soldier TC hates his limp president and those in power so much he could always emigrate.
Yawn.
(That was in response to Fucko, not Millie. Hot damn!)
Surely if the prez were going to set foreign policy based solely on HYS the only sane thing he could do would be to press the big red nuclear holocaust button?
P.S.
Q: Why was Jade Goody buried in Kent?
A: She always wanted a funeral abroad.
I had to return my Jade Goody 2009 calendar, it only goes up to march.
i dunt aprekiate teh fingz dat r beein sed about mah essex princesz hu is liek princesz Diana init?
Jade onli got nekkid on teevee so she cud hilite teh plite of muzlim wimmin hu carnt get nekkid in publik.
god bless mi princesz xxxxxx
Yeah, hilarious… Nelson, redo the login thing, please?
Let me see, so what he’s suggesting is that America withdraws it’s military forces and ceases any political influence over the rest of the world…
Sound good to me – where do we sign up?
Jack Tweed? Neil C, ENGERLAND me thinks.
If it’s okay with you lot, I’m going to take a six month sabbatical to laugh hysterically at all these hilarious Jade jokes.
I think I’ll switch my phone off though, just in case I get more Jade texts and I have to reset the sabbatical stopwatch while I snort tea / coffee out of my nostrils for another six months.
yeah i hate the morality police always in here trying to make us think up new jokes instead of lazily copying shit out of sickipedia and making the comments a giant cesspool of middle class masturbation about how some pikey is all dead and stuff. they must really love Jade Goody because i can’t think of any reason they wouldn’t want to wade through post after post of unfunny shit jokes that have nothing to do with SYB.
and what i really hate about them is the way they post under pseudonyms so i can’t engage them in a long self-congratulatory argument about how i have a moral obligation to shit up these threads and make them all about fucko the clown.
Is there a way the blah filter could be rewritten so that every post containing the word “Jade” is automatically blahificated, while others are left alone?
I’m loving the idea of getting one’s intel on what the world is thinking from HYS. Maybe that will be the new US policy if the downturn forces cutbacks in the CIA.
Jade
big flappy pikey dead jade
ding dong the witch is dead
DNFTT
Jebus fucko, you’re even starting to get on *my* moobs now..
Can we get back to the serious business of making fun of teh *live* stupids now?
Fucko, I think you’re hilarious.
But what I think is hilarious about you is how you’re all “edgy” and “close to the bone” until someone makes you the butt of a joke and suddenly you turn into a petulant little toddler. That’s funnier than any “joke” you’ve ever posted.
Yeah i’m not usually one to kick the arse out of an issue so much, but amused at the HYS like response of certain posters, mainly those who make up names for fear of sullying thier normal nickname.
but since i am boring myself with it now, i’ll bury the whole Jade subject – no pun intended
Can we still make fun of Max Clifford, though?
And yanks? We can still take them the piss out them can’t we?
Folks, stop farting around and look at the “how should we tackle terrorism” thread on HYS. I’d post a couple of examples but I really have no idea where I should begin…. so many to choose from, so little bandwidth…..
Oh, just one then.
He’d pull the bloody trigger himself….
BTW, any indigenous Britons out there? I’m afraid I’m a Norman so I don’t count.
Personally I’m enjoying “Can drug warfare in Mexico be controlled?”
indicates a deep understanding of the nature of corruption for example.
Both the “legalise everything” crowd and the “nail some sense into em” types are out in force too.
“Lets be realistic,most terror attacks now are by Muslim extremists.”
Those Muslim Irish Republicans are the worst.
Most Americans are lovely. Sorry.
I’ll get my coat.
Leave The Economist out of this.
As for Jade, I’m torn. On the one hand, I don’t care. On the other, I don’t really feel that people have got the hang of what the objection from the management is and it’s really, really, really tedious to read the results.
What is it with threatening suicide bombers with the death sentence?
And Pigfrottage – yes, yes they are. But the fat thick ones are well funny.
My great aunt married an Italian (You couldn’t make it up!) and I heartily disagree
Is it blahfilter time again already?
Karl Flavell (not so keen on the spelling of Carl with a K – looks distinctly forrun-commie to me) is a living genius: if we publicly execute anyone who’s so much as said ‘excuse me’ to a potential terrorist, when trying to get past them and then we encourage the rest of the populace to turn on innocent Muslim citizens (more than usual), then there’s NO WAY any existing terrorists would want to bomb the living fuck out of the UK. And it’d certainly not encourage young, disillusioned muslims to radicalise into militancy, ho no.
Have I been sardonic enough yet? Can I stop typing now and start facepalming myself violently, crying ‘why? WHY?’ to the cold, blank wall?
I like the Jack Tweed jokes the best. Alright so he’s only grieving and not dead, but it’s really funny ‘cos he’s my social inferior. “Innit”? Heheh.
Lets be honest, Old Soldier used the word overseas, as he hasn’t the slightest fucking clue where anything outside the US is
True. Ask them to pronounce Worcester, Leicester or Loughborough for added fun.
“With execution and a possible backlash to the Muslim population would they be so keen to escalate their war on UK soil?”
Yes.
Wang is at it again with a bold plan to sort out our economic mess.. Klaatu Barada Nikto..
“All countries are foolish that maintain the country border,have military,maintain the luxury life for those presidentes, the Earth should union one real entity,elect only one leader,the Earth should invent a new country and nation theory!!!
Wang Dong, Xi’an, China
Hmm, that seems a bit harsh. Just last week I was out getting Mrs 773 a few things for her birthday.
- Where are you going? she asks as I’m putting my coat on.
- Oh, I just need to get the brakes checked on the car. Been noticing they’ve been squealing a bit recently. Won’t be long.
It’s an untruth, I’ll be the first to admit, but it’s for her benefit.
In Kaiser Karl Flavell’s world, I’d be straight up against the wall on my return, bang bang bang. You try to do something nice for those you love and end up with more holes in you than a pair of Linda Bellingham’s fishnets.
Do Linda Bellinghams fishents have more holes in them than the average fishnets then?
Maybe that will be the new US policy if the downturn forces cutbacks in the CIA.
Based on their performance in the last several years, you’d think their SPESSHUL adviser was/is Topsy Turvy.
He might be a mental, but Wang Dong is a kick-ass name.
Incidentally, what did you get for your wife’s birthday, 773?
Brake pads
Rich pickings…
Well said Robert Hawkins MBE, you bastion and bulwark of the true British Bulldog Spirit – you’ll never say die will you? You’ll make sure that the British nation stands firm against the suicide bombs that slaughter innocent civilians – sat at your keyboard several thousands miles away from all the trouble and any potential towel-headed fruitcake with an Asda bag full of semtex over there in that hotbed of terrorist activity, San Diego!!!
Well said, sir!
You Fuckwit.
Who says he wouldn’t andy? Did the people who are saying this actually know Winston? For all we know he might…
“We shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills!
We shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island were subjugated and starving, then our Empire beyond the seas, full of all the grateful little nig-nogs and sambos we’ve taught to wear shoes and go to church, would carry on the struggle – at any rate they’d bloody well better if they don’t want to get a fucking right good kicking in their kebab shop on a Friday night!”
[sob] Makes you proud to be In-Ger-Lish, dunnit?
MWU-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!
TREMBLE in fear you PATHETIC infidels!!!
For it is I – “Suicidal-Jihad-Lightning-Terrorist Man”!!!
MWU-HA-HA!!!
QUAKE in FEAR as my terror-lightning strikes you – NOT from the SKY! – but from that SHRUBBERY, or that EMPTY CRISP PACKET, or from behind that PORTA-POTTY!!!!
[KRAKA-BOOM!]
Your PUNY In-Ger-Lish superheroes are NO MATCH for the MIGHTY powers of Suicidal-Jihad-Lightning-Terrorist Man!!! I LAUGH at your Green-Cross Code Man with his SILLY West Country Accent!!! I WIDDLE on your Mr Tambourine Man with his… erm… with his… with his Poofy TAMBOURINE!!! And don’t even get me STARTED on Bicycle Repair Man…!
Is Linda Bellingham the old bird in the Bisto ad? I remember her getting her norks out once or twice (not whilst serving gravy I might point out) but can’t remember her being famous for fishnets in particular. (Or even fishents).
BZZZZZZ … digression
Norkage display in both “Confessions of a Driving Instructor” (1976)& “Sweeney!” (1977) IIRC but no fishnets – I think that’s more to do with 773’s stained tissue fantasies than any coherent opinion on how the threat of terrorism could be curtailed in this country.
If I’m right, that is.
She definitely got them out in The Sweeney-mind you I think she was dead at the time (in the film of course, not in real life,otherwise those Bisto ads would have involved zombie mum eating her family’s brains with lashings of tasty gravy!)
I still would have ‘ad ‘er though!
bisto could have been a cover story for a budding career in choco porn, afterall she is on loose women. The loose might be referring the tension on her ringpiece
I have to be honest and say that it’s pretty unlikely. And what’s more, I have no evidence that she wears – or has ever worn – them. But, watching the Oxo ads as a kid, it always struck me that her gravy was wrought forth into existence with fairly mucky sexual undercurrents. She had a certain dirty mischievous twinkle in her eye. And there are times in a man’s life that, when searching for metaphors, similes or analogues, imagery with sweaty, subtly depraved wrongness are the only ones that will do.
Depends on whether they’re small, medium or large.
One thing I do know though is that if they’re on a fat American bird the holes per sq. metre will be larger.
Withdraw financial aid from the UN? You owe 1.25 billion dollars, you stupid fuck.
John Adair: I thought you were shot by Col. Sebastian Moran?
Or maybe you’re making some oh-so-clever reference to having an ‘Empty House’ due to all the terrrrist-peado-muslim-lieberal-Guardian readers coming over here and taking all your jobs?
I think that this Old Soldier is on to something here. If the next World War is anything like the last two, then the yanks would of had to of pulled out of Europe before it starts, so they can be a couple of years late for World War III. Ho-Hum.
Seems now that George W Bush is out of office he’s got plenty of time to go trolling on HYS. What a cunt.
Fair point.
But she wasn’t even in the same league as the Shake’n'Vac woman – now she *was* a horny bitch!!!
FILTH
i am actually a little scared of the green cross man, he is darth vaders body after all!
Ironically lightning kills more Americans annually than terrorism does, fact!
Let me think, so far we have had a war on drugs [FAIL], then terror [FAIL] (all pretend wars of course, although they can still be admired for their artistic value, just like fart enthusiasts might while perusing around the Tate sipping fizzy piss), so therefore I believe the next war should be on lightning, or ghosts?