Permanently Bewildered27 Mar 2009 09:38 am

Test Of Nerves

By Nelson

Thanks to Michael.

Cameron's Nerve Test

I’m not sure that “nerve” is a good way to decide on a government. I mean, I’m as curious as the next man and, when I see Gordon Brown appointing that slimy, amoral, weasely, fork-tongued prick Peter Mandelson, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wonder what the actual fuck our PM might do next. He’s obviously got balls of steel and a brain of cheese and might do literally anything. Perhaps he’ll make Mandelson chairman of the Committee on Standards in Public Life? Teach Jack Straw to use cutlery? Replace Hazel Blears with a photo of Simon Weston glued to an optimistic horse?

20 Responses to “Test Of Nerves”

  1. on 27 Mar 2009 at 9:54 am   umlaut

    I’d like to see Cameron show the nerve to appoint a redwood tree as Chancellor.

    Solid, reliable, a long-term vision, yet still more personality than Alistair Darling.

  2. on 27 Mar 2009 at 10:01 am   Rogan Josh

    I just planted a floater in a seedy public lavatory which landed on another floater (father unknown).

    Apparently, and it’s only hearsay at this stage, a lot of floaters – paricularly in the public sector – are thinking of ‘going Cameron’ if his nerve holds regarding Chancellor Redwood.

  3. on 27 Mar 2009 at 10:06 am   millie

    The first three words already had me laughing.

  4. on 27 Mar 2009 at 10:12 am   Incontinentia

    Nerve is absolutely key for any potential PM. That is why my floater goes to Peter Duncan off Duncan Dares.

  5. on 27 Mar 2009 at 10:25 am   Bit Special

    MG might only be a floater, but Redwood is a full-on panblocker (rape apologist cunt that he is, boo hiss).

  6. on 27 Mar 2009 at 10:52 am   samuel johnson

    Can you be a floating non-voter? And at the end of the day who gives a shit?

    13 fingers and a keyboard just don’t mix. (Norfolk reference there)

  7. on 27 Mar 2009 at 11:43 am   burnel

    MG obviously has Altzeimers, he also think he’s a car.

  8. on 27 Mar 2009 at 12:27 pm   Albert Muffpie

    Notice how MG, from Norfolk, has only just managed to bring himself up to scratch on the ideas of “democracy” and “Ceefax”. Show him HYS and he’d either drool himself to death or physically explode because of the technological advances.

  9. on 27 Mar 2009 at 1:35 pm   PB

    A 73 year old non-voter? I bet his friends died for his right to vote. Ingrate. Actually, he’s probably a Nazi war criminal hiding out in Norfolk. Because we welcome hateful immigrants with our open door policy. And kiddy fiddlers.

  10. on 27 Mar 2009 at 1:52 pm   Gillie

    MG sounds like a nice bloke..

  11. on 27 Mar 2009 at 3:08 pm   PanLicker

    If filters were on we might get fewer floaters.

  12. on 27 Mar 2009 at 3:33 pm   Charles Exford

    Insert Wanky Shit Demon gag here…

  13. on 27 Mar 2009 at 5:45 pm   Ex Charlesford

    “Insert Wanky Shit Demon gag here…”

    Charles Exford.

    Boom boom!

  14. on 27 Mar 2009 at 6:40 pm   The Gnome Secretary

    I’m so clever, even my turds have — barely — gained sentience and are sending messages into Ceefax.

    MG’s age was measured in minutes by the way.

  15. on 27 Mar 2009 at 7:42 pm   YeGods

    Abolish Hazel Blears and replace her with …..

    Who cares? Just abolish Hazel Blears.

  16. on 28 Mar 2009 at 2:03 pm   fucko the clown

    floaters just bring up images of a fat bird shitting herself in a public swimming pool to me.

    as for gordon brown, its nice to see him enjoying himself in south america on a jolly, its not like there is much for him to do back home

  17. on 28 Mar 2009 at 8:22 pm   Fall Brave England, Fall!

    So: he votes with no allegiance based on the relative merits of each party. But only if he can be arsed to vote. Yet he’s never actually voted Tory. He will definitely vote Tory this time (assuming DC nerve/Redwood yada-yada-yada), if he can be arsed, but, being realistic, he probably won’t be.

    How Inspiring!

    Did my fallacious-justification-for-self-righteous granddad die in two world wars for this!?! Churchill would weep!

  18. on 29 Mar 2009 at 5:23 pm   Optomistic Horse

    Get that picture off of me!

  19. on 30 Mar 2009 at 9:37 am   fucko the clown

    since when have we bought war heros into all this, mind you he does have young looking skin.

  20. on 02 Apr 2009 at 1:01 pm   Vicola

    Well,as the old proverb goes, ‘Better a floater than a pancracker’. And I’d vote for the Simon-Weston-Horse way before I’d vote for the Poisonous Dwarf that is Blears.