The Truth Hurts And Doesn’t Get Printed
By KelvinThanks to Phil for spotting Keith, who has nothing to say but has found a creatively stupid way to say it.
How should we tackle terrorism?
We’ve gotta stand up, we’ve gotta be strong
We’ve gotta hold our nerve until the job is done
And they’ve made a killing,
They don’t care about the blood that they’re spilling9/11, 9/11, what went down with building 7?
Ever since that fateful day
our civil rights have disappeared
A global fascist state draws near
and our freedom slips away
And they don’t give a stuff
They’ve made that clear enough
So now it’s up to us to bring ‘em downkeith, bournemouth
The formatting got a bit mangled when he posted to HYS but I think I’ve recovered the original intent. I mean, I chopped it up randomly, the same way it was assembled.
In case it’s not clear what keith is getting at, he’s referring to the popular theory that a conspiracy of powerful shadowy government agents staged the 9/11 attacks in order to erode our civil liberties so that a shadowy cabal of businessmen can take over the world. Presumably because they’re tired of having to pay lobbyists to bribe politicans to run the world for them.
43 Responses to “The Truth Hurts And Doesn’t Get Printed”
Imagine this crapper as Keith from The Office for extra comedy goodness. Boyakasha.
Keith lives in bournemouth, probably in a nursing home, and has mistaken the war on terror for the fact that his nurses make him ring a bell to take him for a piss
Don’t mock, you enemies of truth, liberty, and really really good poetry.
I mean look, he’s so good, he only needs one name, does Keith. Like Prince, Madonna and Jordan (not Palestine). That makes him statistically twice as good as John Betjeman and William Blake. And at least three times as good as Thomas Stearns Eliot, on account of him needing three names.
It even almost sometimes rhymes, and everything.
Er, I may well be wrong but I think that guy is quoting a rapper called Immortal Technique. This actually makes things slightly worse as, unable to invent his own wacky conspiracy nonsense and cut and pasted someones else’s…
Well that’s torn it. Immortal Technique has two names, he’s statistically no better than Pam Ayres.
That’s my weekend ruined.
Don’t you mock the hero Keith,
Who utters truth you must belief,
Though he may come from Dorsetshire,
He speaks with revolutionary ire.
When they come from the fascist state,
You will not think that your so great,
Should have listened to Have Your Say,
Not Speak You’re Branes which is very gay.
Fanks.
The Immortal Technique I’ve heard was a lot better than that. Oh dear.
What about Samuel Taylor Coleridge ?
Three names and all two syllables!
He must be shite.
The syllables subtract a further 38% from the likely poetic talent. It’s the only way to measure poetry these days.
As proof, I offer you the fact that Andrew Motion’s full name would take upwards of an entire lunchtime to say in its entirety.
And thanks to Incontinentia for saving my weekend. One name, masses of really really good poetry, unfettered joy all round.
That should probably be the end of the name length poetry theory gubbins, really.
I bet “Keith” felt really brave posting that on HYS.
I think you are wrong. I quite like immortal technique so googled this to check out.
This is the song I found, a weak cringeworthy amateur pop ballad dedicated to 9/11 by Martin Noakes in Sussex… check it out – its funny if you can stop pinching yourself with embarrassment:
http://www.conspiracyresearch.org/forums/New-9-11-Song-and-Video-Please-Distribute-Freely-t20856.html
Nothing like Immortal Technique:
http://www.myspace.com/immortaltechnique
Unless its a cover version, or Immortal Technique covered it – judging by the tune I doubt it.
I can’t help feeling that the ‘pome’ would be so much better if he had written spillin’ and killin’ instead of spilling and killing. I like to imagine him throwing gang signs and falling out his high chair in his excitement.
I don’t think he’s quoting Immortal Technique, though he could be channelling him. I just trawled through two albums worth of William-McGonagall-meets-50-Cent’s lyrics (available here, if you have a very strong head:
http://www.azlyrics.com/i/immortaltechnique.html)
I couldn’t find the exact match but I did run out of willpower somewhere along the way.
Rotwatcher, thank you – there is some GOLD in there. My IT line for today is: ‘When God said “Let there be light”, I turned it the fuck off’, which he rhymes with ‘suck me off’.Hoo hah!
Wot about “And they don’t give a stuff” then? PUSSY talk. If he’d bin real hard it cud’ve gone like “And they don’t give a FUCK that’s WHY they gotta ruck.”
Or something.
You wouldn’t catch Pam Ayres spewing forth such filth. Although it does rhyme, and therefore qualifies as an actual poem.
Keith should have rhymed “stuff” with “chuff” and prefaced the latter with “gnat’s”. And the changed all the other words and made it autobiographical.
You boyos are missing a trick, it’s actually a revolutionary call to arms ‘n insightful social commentary on the oppressive nature of the HYS moderators – viva le keith!
We’ve gotta stand up, we’ve gotta be strong
We’ve gotta hold our nerve until the job is done
And they’ve made a killing,
They don’t care about the communists they be breedin’
Have your say, have your say, did anyone mention the moderators are gay?
Ever since that fateful day
our civil rights have disappeared
A global fascist state draws near
and our freedom slips away
And they don’t give a stuff
They’ve made that clear enough
So now it’s up to us to bring ‘em down
Personally, I’m just disappointed he failed to rhyme “So now it’s up to us to bring ‘em down” with some variation on “Gordon Clown”. That’s a basic HYS technique he’s missed. An amateurish performance, quite frankly.
So Keith from Bournemouth is “gonna bring ‘em down”, is he? He’s going to smash the “global fascist state”, eh? I bet our overlords would be quaking in their boots were it not for the phrase, “Oh yeah? You and whose army, Keith, you pampered little tosser?”
I love the HYSers that imagine they are some sort of dangerous crusader landing hefty blows against the oppressive Zanu-Liebour hegemony. Wrapped in their ancient, wank-encrusted dressing-gown like it’s a Superhero cape, they imagine supporters reading their posts in wonder and cheering them on to victory
And my favourite…
Rotwatcher: Thanks for a whole weekend of reading.
‘So I leave the system Unforgiven like East Wood
Cause I was bless with lyrical strength to do whatever I could’
*claps*
Whilst I applaud his revolutionary rhetoric and unwillingness to stand by while we are dragged down by oppressive governments, when comapred to some of the historical speeches of Che Guerava, Fidel Castro and George Washington – Keith on Have Your Say may not be seen in quite the same light.
*Heavy Groan*… the “Building 7″ conspiracy. The one where “it was the CIA who did 9/11 because WTC7 collapsed in a surprisingly ‘tidy’ way”. What more proof do you need of a global secret-elite conspiracy? (As long as you ignore the demonstrable explanation of the buildings non-standard foundations and repeatedly accurate computer modelling of its collapse)
When one of the ‘experts’ of this pseudo-theory was interviewed by a minor BBC journo, he was clearly wetting himself with his 15 minutes of fame and answered difficult questions with a smirky, “well why don’t you tell me?” riposte, trying to imply the struggling hack was an elite global conspirator sent to crush him.
Less convincing than a Wayne Rooney autobiography. More intellectually challenged than Dubya’s explanation of economics. Dumber than a deaf school.
That doesn’t even rhyme. Get out.
‘Dumber than a deaf school’ ! Oh dear equating not being able to speak with stupidity, as well as being factually incorrect. Being deaf does not a. equate with stupidity or b. mean you cannot talk. My boss is a. profundly deaf, b. holds two Cambridge degrees and c.speaks four languages.
I apologise now for the lack of humour in this response.
Two other, larger buildings that were part of the same complex, I believe. If you didn’t know that you’ve maybe got your priorities a bit skewed.
It’s all far worse than you can imagine….
http://www.conspiracyresearch.org/forums/New-9-11-Song-and-Video-Please-Distribute-Freely-t20856.html
I tried to post that link ages ago but It all crashed on the site…
I bet “Keith” wears ankle-swinging cords and a tank top, and is actually called Eugene – but his street name is Keith. And last night he ate spinach and didn’t clean his teeth before going to chess club and everyone laughed so he killed them all with a KILLER rap. and then got arrested and sent to America where he was subsequently sent to death by injection and your all laughing at him…..
….shame.
ima jihad him
his lies to thin
maybe hes a fake
ill make him quake
with my holy war
not some conspiricy bore
take him down
all the way to china town
ima jihad his ass
slap him till he shatters like glass
peace ya’all
“does this make blockquotes”
”
or does this?
“
how the fucko do you make block quotes?
There’s a whole seminar on it down the bottom of the comments here:
http://ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/2009/04/02/lemon-flavoured/
Search down for Schroduck.
Sorry to be so offtopic so I will just add FUCK OFF in the hope of offending casual passersby from Have Your Say You Twat.
woof woof
slurp slurp
indeed.
Ah, I have a conspiracy theorist who comments on my blog. He comes at it from an evangelical angle. Yeah, I didn’t think the two would gel well either, but there you go.
@ shoelace
Good to see a fellow Pam Ayres fan here. Now that’s quality poetry.
@ fucko
Does Keith work for Medialens then?
snol
If you want a surefire way to beat the recession, I’m courting investors for my new startup Tinfoilhat-U-Like.
Who’s in?
I make my own fresh every morning – it’ll take a lot of convincing to persuade me to buy yours. Besides, how do I know you won’t be secretly creating yours with clever inbuilt bugging devices or mind control implants? I’m wise to your games, Aonny… Aliens/ZanuLieBore/Nooky Bear will never take over my mind!
Again.
Aonny? Sonny, I meant. See, I take my tinfoil tricorn off for just one minute and my spelling is affected!
Trust me. Look in to my eyes… er, no, I mean it really is the investment opportunity of the millenium.
I’ve even got an advertising slogan worked out and everything.
“I foil your hat, we foil their plans!”
Of the millenium, I tell ya.
“powerful shadowy government agents staged the 9/11 attacks in order to erode our civil liberties so that a shadowy cabal of businessmen can take over the world.”
just to clear things up, all instances of shadowy here means jewish right?