Delusions of Grandeur03 Apr 2009 12:23 pm
By Nelson
I’ve added “hypocritical” to the list of adjectives friends use to describe me. Usually squeezed into the space between “that” and “cunt”.
139 chars there.
You can now “follow” me on Twitter. I’ve really got no fucking clue why you would but I’m not above comparing my number of “followers” to other people’s and pretending I don’t care. Perhaps I could raise an army. Mainly I’ll be just be telling you what I’m doing. Stuff like “Got a sore leg. Going to the pub”. It’s going to be bollocks.
37 Responses to “Twittering Shitcast”
Banality as an artform.
You make me sick.
In order for us to abuse you directly on Twitter, you will need to give us your username on there.
You can probably therefore add ‘useless’ and ‘dozy’ to that string of adjectives that come before cunt.
Yes, you should give us your username, preferably in the form of the hyperlinked word ‘bollocks’ on the last line of the 3rd paragraph of your post, assuming ’139 chars there’ can be counted as a paragraph.
I loathe, detest, and loathe (again) Twitter. To echo the words of Vile, you make me sick.
Still added you the followed list, mind.
Come on, only cunts go on twitter. You hypocrite
It’s political correctness …. GONE MAD!
Looks like Nelson posing as fucko in his twitter profile pic
What happened to you man?
You used to be not on my follow list on Twitter.
What on earth is Twitter?!?!?
(as everyone who knows exactly what it is always says, if they think it makes them seem ‘cool’ to not know)
I don’t understand Twitter, every now and then something appears MASSIVE LETTERS and that scares me a little.
Off topic, here’s more Google Street View fuckwittery.
I dropped this…
“in”
I wouldn’t worry about hrhod if i were you. He’s obviously having a woman’s period.
Felching cuntblast.
Why the fuck would anyone want to follow you? My guide and leader through this trial we flippantly call life, is the one & only Pied Piper of Hamlin (though obviously being a bastard German – he’s probably a semi-retired SS storm trooper) … or am I just deluded and mistake this civic dignitary for a crap song Pied Piper from the little know Rock Greats: Crispian St. Peters?
I think I should be put out of my drug induced misery.
The Bible doesn’t mention Twitter, so it can’t exist.
Fuck. You know Nelson, I’d love to follow you on Shitter, or whatever the fuck it’s called.
But then, thinking about it, I have more fun/interesting things to do. Teabagging a wasps nest, for example.
Just because I am having a woman’s period, doesn’t mean I’m wrong.
Rogue is obviously a sexist, patriarch.
GIRL POWER!
Shall we shake our heads despairingly in unison, Mim & Millie (and other laydee SYBers)?
typical. i go and get the extra head grafted on- not cheap, what with the total sex change bill still outstanding-get around to posting something on here, and what fucking happens? behind the twatting twitter curve. if only i could find a forren, it would certainly be their fault. i blame the martians. cunts.
you twat
I have a Twitter account which consists mostly of me saying that I have nothing to say on Twitter. The alternative is yelling at my friends for being cleverer on Twitter than I am, which would not be a good move.
I like the stalker terminology, though. Much better than bits of Internet that call people “friends”.
@ Bit Special
As a fellow female I’m bobbing my head round (merrily though, I’ve woken up in a particularly good mood).
Teabagging a wasps nest, for example.
Fucking pricless!
Should have been,
Fucking useless – more like!
Better than being prickless.
Well actually if you want real bollocks try this for size:
by the (not so) Ben Goldacre
I had to stop reading the shite after one page ‘cos I had a severe case of homicidal mania towards the cunt.
I’m going to follow Nelson from now on. (NOT)
You have 471 followers. What have you started?
Now our Glorious Leader can spread the world from nation to nation…
It already is spread from nation to nation.
Thank you, I’ll be here all week, waiting for anyone to make typos so I can capitalise on them in a really shit attempt at humour.
You’ll find me in the corner, with a netbook, looking-up “Andrew Lloyd Webber nude” on Google images. Because there’s nothing better than a naked, wet, cunt.
FUCKSTICKS! Although I’ve dried my pedant’s tears by observing that there shouldn’t really be a comma after ‘wet’.
@ Bit Special: I think you’ll be alright with the extra comma; it’s called an Oxford comma or something and it’s quite acceptable, if slightly superfluous.
I thank you.
@ Bit Special
You now have something in common with our other glorious leader
In my local pub they are serving ‘sandwichs’ with ‘tomatoe’…
Should have probably got the least special one to write the blackboard rather than the one who likes to eat the chalk afterwards
Twitter?
More like “Twatter”!
You’re dead to me now, Nelson. Dead.
Twitter, Myspace and Facebook are for socially retarded, shallow, emotionally stunted people who are so big headed that they think anyone gives a fuck what they are doing. Stop jamming up the web you cunts and get a life.
Hmm.