Delusions of Grandeur and Moderation Martyrs15 Apr 2009 11:25 am
By Alex

Thanks to my namesake Alexander. Should prisoners have the right to vote?

I would say NO, they shouldn’t have the vote,but does it matter what I say or think, The European Court of Human Rights doesn’t care about my views otherwise they wouldn’t come out with this sort of ridiculous ruling

kevin ball, Plymouth- rejected by the mods for no reason, United Kingdom

It’s tragic really. Your opinions are so important and unambiguously expressed, the European Court of Human Rights would surely bow immediately to them if it only knew who you were, and then think what a beautiful place the world could be. But don’t go blaming the PC brigade or any of that nonsense. It’s just because you’ve not made a name for yourself. You should collect a cardboard box full of baby squirrels, set it on fire, and film yourself having boisterous sex with it while singing Barry White hits in a high-pitched squeaky voice. Then dress up as Bootsy Collins, turn yourself in to the police, and appeal your sentence all the way to Strasbourg. I guarantee they won’t ignore you after that.

39 Responses to “Ignored, Forsaken, Disobeyed, Abandoned and Rejected”

  1. on 15 Apr 2009 at 11:43 am Bit Special

    If everyone dressed up as Bootsy Collins, the world would be a much better place. A much better, more funkadelic place…

    However, it wouldn’t stop Kevin Ball being an out-and-out self-obsessed fucktard. Clearly, every law/rule he doesn’t agree with is created with the sole intention of offending him and for no other reason whatsoever. His dreary mind-dribble clearly reveals a most important dichotomy – sod prisoners, should HYSers be allowed to vote?

  2. on 15 Apr 2009 at 11:49 am Erised

    Yes, on the condition that they set up a new country, whose laws and morals are based solely on user-generated content.

    We could use the Isle of Man? They whine about almost everything.

  3. on 15 Apr 2009 at 12:05 pm Dai

    I agree that more people should dress up like Bootsy Collins. And indeed play bass like Bootsy Collins. The funk can not only move, it can re-move.

  4. on 15 Apr 2009 at 12:06 pm A Very Public Sociologist

    How did HYS’ers occupy their time before HYS?

  5. on 15 Apr 2009 at 12:09 pm John Adair's Gerbil

    Why’s Plymouth been rejected by the mods for no reason?

    There’s hundreds of reasons to reject it.

  6. on 15 Apr 2009 at 12:17 pm Silva Lining

    Plymouth was not rejected by the Mods on purpose, its just that Brighton was closer

  7. on 15 Apr 2009 at 12:44 pm Dr Shade

    How did HYS’ers occupy their time before HYS?

    Well, in the early days of the Internet, before HYS, a large bunch of ‘em burned down a paediatrician’s surgery in the quaint belief that pervo kiddie-fiddlers advertise their illicit hobby by putting it and their name on a brass plaque next to their door.

    Perhaps in their quaint world view they think there might actually be some naive schoolkids who’s be walking to school and see the brass plaque and think to themselves:

    “Ooh! ‘B. Bloggs – Peedo’ I must just pop in and have my ringpiece ruptured. It’ll be much more fun than double Maths!”

  8. on 15 Apr 2009 at 12:45 pm dirigible

    singing Barry White hits in a high-pitched squeaky voice

    SEGFAULT

  9. on 15 Apr 2009 at 1:15 pm funny peculiar

    The European Court of Human Rights doesn’t care about my views otherwise they wouldn’t come out with this sort of ridiculous ruling

    kevin ball, Plymouth- rejected by the mods for no reason,

    awesome. ab-so-lute-ly chuffing awesome. Kevin Ball is clinching proof that life evolved randomly and contains no divine spark or purpose.

    what a truly enormous twat.

  10. on 15 Apr 2009 at 1:20 pm funny peculiar

    should HYSers be allowed to vote?

    The day someone devises and implements a workable, infallible system that denies fucktards the vote on the grounds of incompetence will be a very good day.

    Yes, we can.

  11. on 15 Apr 2009 at 2:06 pm Clovis Sangrail

    “The European court of human rights doesn’t care about my views” Yep, that is wonderful childish solipsism – I can see him folding his arms and puffing his cheeks out sulkily. Probably looking like Just William with a catty sticking out of his pocket

  12. on 15 Apr 2009 at 2:07 pm frottage du cochon

    (Username changed to reflect European prejudice, modded too often, Cocking, Sussex)

    Nice how he outlined his reasons for not wanting to give prisoners the vote. How could anyone argue against the unanswerable logic behind

    Should prisoners have the right to vote? I would say NO, they shouldn’t have the vote

    Only the pigheaded Eurocrats could make it up !!!One!!?!

  13. on 15 Apr 2009 at 2:20 pm Simon

    The European Court of Human Rights doesn’t care about my views

    No-one care about your views, you whining little prat!

  14. on 15 Apr 2009 at 2:49 pm Kowalski

    The day someone devises and implements a workable, infallible system that denies fucktards the vote on the grounds of incompetence will be a very good day.

    The day someone devises and implements a workable, infallible system that denies fucktards POLITICAL POWER on the grounds of incompetence will be an even better day.

  15. on 15 Apr 2009 at 2:53 pm Alex

    SEGFAULT

    What means segfault?

  16. on 15 Apr 2009 at 3:03 pm Nelson

    Segmentation fault. It means he tried to address some memory that he wasn’t allowed to address.

    Hope this helps.
    x

  17. on 15 Apr 2009 at 3:20 pm Dr Shade

    While we’re on the topic of voting and elected officials and all that, here’s a real gem from the political advisers debate:

    Advisors should not be allowed to become mouth pieces. There can be various advices but the final say should come from the horse’s mouth.

    Muhammad Saeed, Islamabad, Pakistan

    I think he’s saying Gordo Clown should be employing horses as special advisers and spokesmen, er, I mean spokeshorses.

    Where the fuck is Mr Ed when you need him, eh? EH?!1!one!!!

  18. on 15 Apr 2009 at 3:30 pm Mr Ed

    Wilbur!

    I think I could not give a shiny turd what Muhammad Saeed thinks. My final say is NO!

    !?ONE!!

  19. on 15 Apr 2009 at 3:58 pm FrodoSaves

    Not only should prisoners not have the right to vote, they should all be executed and castrated. But maybe not in that order. Yeah, actually, in that order. But the European Court doesn’t care about my views otherwise they wouldn’t come out with this sort of ridiculous ruling whereby prisoners are allowed to keep living and ejaculating.

  20. on 15 Apr 2009 at 4:22 pm Bit Special

    “Ooh! ‘B. Bloggs – Peedo’ I must just pop in and have my ringpiece ruptured. It’ll be much more fun than double Maths!”

    Dr Shade, I think you underestimate how much some kids hate maths (God knows, I did).

  21. on 15 Apr 2009 at 5:10 pm asshat

    http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?sortBy=2&forumID=6338&start=30&tstart=0&edition=1&ttl=20090415164500#paginator

    from the “Should the role of political advisers be tightened?” thread:

    Hardly surprising is it?

    It has dawned on Nulab that they are not only going to lose the next election but they won’t even be the main opposition party and they are willing to anything, illegal, immoral, damaging to the nation, whatever in a desperate attempt to prevent that happening.

    There are no longer any depths at all to which this party will not sink!

    Gordon Brown, , as democratically elected as Robert Mugabe, Zimbabwe

    Recommended by 46 people

  22. on 15 Apr 2009 at 5:37 pm Dr Shade

    Jebus. I think that whole thread is in danger of collapsing under the sheer weight of posts signing off with:

    “Election NOW!!!111!!”

    I think the real question should be “Why hasn’t the labour party replaced their SPIN DOCTORS with grave diggers” ???

    richard mcgall, london, United Kingdom

    Aha!

    So THAT’S the pseudonym Ben Elton uses when he posts on HYS!!!

    Betrayed by your own incisive political wittery Mr Elton!!!!!!

  23. on 15 Apr 2009 at 5:41 pm Funny Peculiar

    Gordon Brown, as democratically elected as Robert Mugabe, Zimbabwe

    When you read shit like that, do you ever think SYB is like standing on the the fatally-ruptured Titanic, laughing uproariously at various gimps jumping overboard in amusingly tragic ways.

    When the BNP takes power cos dicks like him believed they were bravely voting for “a clean break from the corrupt status quo” it won’t seem so funny really.

  24. on 15 Apr 2009 at 5:56 pm Bit Special

    When you read shit like that, do you ever think SYB is like standing on the the fatally-ruptured Titanic, laughing uproariously at various gimps jumping overboard in amusingly tragic ways.

    I wish the truth was that SYB is actually like us lot drifting off in several lifeboats (please don’t let me get in the one with Fucko in it) whilst watching the Titanic go down with plenty of empty lifeboats left as the HYSers remain on board and drown as they argue over who’s to blame for the iceberg being there: forrins/peed0es/gays/muslims/women/The EU/NuLiarBore/single mothers/all of the above/delete as applicable/create own bonkers illogical prejudice… but sadly I think you’re nearer the mark, FP.

  25. on 15 Apr 2009 at 6:25 pm Simon

    it matter what I say or think

    Now Kevin, hold on to that thought, it may be the only correct thing that dribbles from your brain this year!

  26. on 15 Apr 2009 at 6:26 pm Albert Muffpie

    Don’t be too downhearted. While sites like HYS, CiF, the entirety of dailymail.co.uk, etc. exist, they will continue to attract the strange type of political activist who believes that the virtual equivalent of standing in line to shout into a well is akin to the streets running red with blood.

    They really do want revolution, they just want someone else to start it, and then place them on the imperial throne, so they can really show those nig-nog chav benefit-frauding knifecrimers who’s boss.

  27. on 15 Apr 2009 at 6:27 pm Simon

    Bollocks! Messed upthe quote. Try again, with even less effect.

    but does it matter what I say or think

    Now Kevin, hold on to that thought, it may be the only correct thing that dribbles from your brain this year!
    Tune in for the answer after these messages

  28. on 15 Apr 2009 at 6:31 pm Far-Q

    Rejected by the Mods.
    Rejected by the Punks.
    Quite probably rejected by his mother, father and the rest of the human race.

    Not, as he feels, for ‘no reason’, but because he’s a cock-noggin of unquantifiable hugeness.

  29. on 15 Apr 2009 at 8:39 pm 773 (metric)

    I would very much like to go out for a quiet drink with this kevin ball, Plymouth- rejected by the mods for no reason, United Kingdom, and I mean that sincerely. Not because I’m hoping it will lead to tender, sensitive lovemaking back at his place, perish the thought, but because I think it would be genuinely fascinating, excruciating, engaging, exhilarating, maddening. How would he respond to logic? To reason? Would he listen, or just grind his axe without being able to engage in dialogue? Is he mental? Is he a hoax? Is he with beard?

    Just to be safe, I’d like a couple of you people to accompany me for the fun of it, and so that we can sit with him in shifts if one of us needs to go off and shoot some rats or swear at some puppydogs occasionally to vent our fury. Who’s fancies it?

    NOT THAT ANYONE CARES WHAT I SAY OR THINK.

  30. on 15 Apr 2009 at 8:46 pm 773 (metric)

    “Who’s fancies it”. What a prize cunt I am.

    Ah well, doesn’t matter what I say or think, so to hell with grammar and syntax.

  31. on 15 Apr 2009 at 10:42 pm YeGods

    Should hamsters be allowed to vote? I say NO, they should not!!!!

    Should a primrose be allowed to be Archbishop of Canterbury? I say NO, they should not !!!

    Am I getting the hang of this HYS gizmo?

  32. on 15 Apr 2009 at 11:25 pm millie

    @ 773 (metric)

    What you say and think is VERY VERY IMPORTANT and we all care VERY VERY MUCH.

    So please take more care over your fucking grammar and syntax.

  33. on 15 Apr 2009 at 11:38 pm Black Lesbian In A WheelChair

    Who believes 773 (metric) when he says he doesn’t want his proposed meeting with kevin ball to end in tender, sensitive lovemaking? Anyone? Anyone? Thought not.

  34. on 16 Apr 2009 at 12:20 am 773 (metric)

    Ideally we’d spend the night just holding each other.

  35. on 16 Apr 2009 at 6:32 am DMonarch

    Judging from the responses in that thread, you’d think the ECHR is giving the vote to rapists and serial killers, when it is not.

    What’s even more hilarious are the clueless, kneejerk responses bashing the EU, even though ECHR falls under the umbrella of the Council of Europe – an institution separate from the EU. It even has more members than the EU itself (47).

    Not that I expect the HYS cretins to know that.

  36. on 16 Apr 2009 at 9:37 am Jeff Banks

    Maybe HYS should only be open for prisoners for a day.

  37. on 16 Apr 2009 at 11:06 am Rod Wrongnob

    I wish the truth was that SYB is actually like us lot drifting off in several lifeboats (please don’t let me get in the one with Fucko in it)

    Yeah, because a clown lifeboat would be all mad, with bendy rubber oars and sprinkly holes in the bailing buckets and all bits falling off. Am I right?

  38. on 16 Apr 2009 at 12:08 pm wringhim

    Yeah, because a clown lifeboat would be all mad, with bendy rubber oars and sprinkly holes in the bailing buckets and all bits falling off. Am I right?

    You would sit there slowly sinking as they continually squirted water at each other from fake plastic flowers. This would be very depressing, as most things involving clowns tend to be.

  39. on 16 Apr 2009 at 2:47 pm Vicky

    On the subject of what HYSers did / would do when the site itself is not the most convenient medium, take a look at these:
    http://www.youaredumb.net/node/1290