Outsiders and Permanently Bewildered and Plain Weird28 Apr 2009 09:03 am
By Alex

Rather unusual. Robin and Savvas both sent in oddly similar submissions on wildly different subjects. Firstly, MPs’ expenses, a red rag to a bull if ever I saw one:

Of course it won’t restore confidence. The horse has bolted, the pigs have their snouts in the trough and the cat is out of the bag.

Animal Farm – you better beieve it!!
[Dickietruncheon], Cheltenham, United Kingdom

As Savvas says, “Not forgetting that the worm has turned, three mice have run up the clock and that the lion sleeps tonight.” And I thought Snowball bolted, the pigs ate at the table and it was actually Boxer the horse who ended up in a bag on the way to the glue factory. You also missed the chickens and the sheep. But good try.

Wowzerbrigade:
The ‘Wowzerbrigade’ is getting way out of hand in this country.

George Orwell’s 1984 is starting to come true and soon the collective state will ban everything that is fun “for the good of the Collective”.

The end of the individual is neigh only to be replaced with rampant political correctness.

What draconian policy was Wowzerbrigade protesting? What ‘fun’ is the government depriving him of? Aha, it’s investigating sneaky practice by the alcohol industry. Anyway, you’ve got confused. The horse is in Animal Farm (see above). But I suppose when you read so many books they both start to merge together.

33 Responses to “Old MacDonald Had a Satire on the Soviet Union”

  1. on 28 Apr 2009 at 9:15 am The 6th Earl of Cheltenham

    The end of the individual is neigh? Is that neigh, neigh and thrice neigh? It’s enough to make a horse laugh.

  2. on 28 Apr 2009 at 9:20 am The 6th Earl of Cheltenham

    And the tiger’s burning bright. The dog barks and the caravan moves on – hopefully Dickietruncheon’s caravan when he’s run out of town by my loyal retainers.

  3. on 28 Apr 2009 at 9:30 am pigfrottage

    I thought we had banned George Orwell? Shows what you miss when you sleep…

  4. on 28 Apr 2009 at 9:45 am Eric Arthur BLIAR

    I suppose I’ll just keep on spinning in my grave, then

  5. on 28 Apr 2009 at 9:53 am Ceannair

    Has anyone blamed the cow that jumped over the moon yet ?

    I blame him.

    And that dog.

    And quite frankly the dish/spoon hook up is against nature.

  6. on 28 Apr 2009 at 9:53 am fucko the clown

    And don’t forget that woman who shoved a live python in her pussy (or was that a different animal farm you were talking about)

  7. on 28 Apr 2009 at 10:05 am millie

    they don’t want big booze to become a pariah in the same way as big tobacco

    Arghgh how I hate that part of me which identifies with these dick-heads.

  8. on 28 Apr 2009 at 10:26 am Mr Cat

    And quite frankly the dish/spoon hook up is against nature.

    Same with the Owl and the Pussycat elopement. Sickness being spread to the minds of our children.

  9. on 28 Apr 2009 at 10:37 am pigfrottage

    Don’t get me started on the “half man, half biscuit” thing…

  10. on 28 Apr 2009 at 10:58 am Carbon Neutral

    What the fuck is a Wowzerbrigade?

  11. on 28 Apr 2009 at 10:59 am Ceannair

    My child saw Harvey Two Face in Batman and now thinks a man can marry himself.

    It’s just not right I tells yer!

  12. on 28 Apr 2009 at 11:16 am Philbert

    And quite frankly the dish/spoon hook up is against nature.

    What would you prefer? Two spoons getting it on? Homosexual cutlery? Eh? Eh?

  13. on 28 Apr 2009 at 11:17 am Philbert

    Just wait ’til the Wowzerbrigade takes on the PC brigade. Then we’ll see what they’re made of.

  14. on 28 Apr 2009 at 11:19 am Ceannair

    Philbert,

    I’d rather see two of our INDIJUNUS spoons getting it on than one of dem furrin dishes, whose only ere for a visa!

  15. on 28 Apr 2009 at 11:41 am pigfrottage

    Forrin gay cutlery in primary schools. You couldn’t make it up.

    I blame Jamie Oliver. Bring back burgers, turkey twizzlers (english, not british) and chips (potato, not silicon)!

  16. on 28 Apr 2009 at 11:53 am Joe C

    What would you prefer? Two spoons getting it on? Homosexual cutlery? Eh? Eh?

    I bet he’d rather see a tablespoon with a teaspoon, the filthy peeedo.

  17. on 28 Apr 2009 at 11:59 am Ceannair

    We’re okay about Piggy Sniffles lads – this guy is on the case:
    —————————————-

    In my own opinion I am advising the Word Health Organisation to discourage the travelers all over the word coming from any area affected by Swine Flu including Mexico to remain wherever they are until medicine is been discover or prescribe as a cure for this global flu pandemic. People on board should be isolated for at least tree days for close monitoring before been aloud in to there destination

    ADEBUKOLA OLUYEMO, Glasgow

  18. on 28 Apr 2009 at 12:05 pm Chris

    @ Ceannair, I actually used to work for the World Health Organisation. We had a very simple, but effective matrix which helped us decide who to accept advice from on health policy.

    Can spell ‘three’ = Accept Advice
    Cannot spell ‘three’ = Ignore Advice

  19. on 28 Apr 2009 at 12:07 pm Melliflouous

    Has anyone seen that Hew Furnley Whittington on tele lately?? No, because he made us eat all bits of pig like ears and stuff and fings wot aint najural instead of fish fingers and McDunnals and now look wots happened! Channel 4 has a lot to answer for!

  20. on 28 Apr 2009 at 12:10 pm Rogue_Leader

    The end of the individual is neigh? Is that neigh, neigh and thrice neigh? It’s enough to make a horse laugh.

    I can imagine him sitting in his crumb-and-spunk-strewn bedsit wanking his cock to a bloody thread after coming up with that one.

    I wish I hadn’t though.

  21. on 28 Apr 2009 at 12:17 pm millie

    Dickietruncheon

    fnar

  22. on 28 Apr 2009 at 12:26 pm Ceannair

    Chris

    Sensible policies for a happier Britain!

  23. on 28 Apr 2009 at 12:34 pm Clovis Sangrail

    I think ADEBUKOLA OLUYEMO is very brave wandering on to HYS. He’s got a funny forrin name and lives in Glasgow and therefore is British not English at the very most. He could be virtual-ethermatic lynched. He’ll get away with the spelling as it is better than most indijinus HYSers anyway.

  24. on 28 Apr 2009 at 1:25 pm Funny Peculiar

    Animal Farm – you better beieve it!!
    [Dickietruncheon] blockquote>

    One of the most “where’s me fucking shotgun” incentivisers of HYfuckingS is the perpetual fucking Animal FUCKING Farm references! (yes, I know incentivisers is an evil word – fuck off). We were all fucking dragged to fucking school and forced to read fucking books for ten fucking years in Engish fucking Lit.

    We all did fucking Dickens and fucking Hardy and fucking Shakespeare and fucking Steinbeck and fucking Fitzgerald and fucking so on. (easy now Fucko).

    So is HYS fucking peppered with fucking quotes from A Tale of Two fucking Cities? or Hard fucking Times? Does Angle (sic) fucking Clare get quoted? Does Macbeth or Shylock or Romeo or Hamlet add a bit of fucking class to their fucking awful fucking right-wing fucking rants? Do they fucking parallel modern events with the fucking Oakies heading west or the fucking 49ers? Do remember any fucking fact from fucking History or fucking science or fucking ANYTHING?

    No they FUCKING DON’T.

    Only poor old fucking Orwell. Reduced to a fucking one-trick-pony in the worst fucking fetid crevice of the whole of our useless fucking society.

    WHERE’S ME FUCKING SHOTGUN?

  25. on 28 Apr 2009 at 1:47 pm Rod Wrongnob

    Funny Peculiar: You are Nick Cohen and I claim my five pounds.

    (Yes, I had Graham fucking Greene instead of Orwell.)

  26. on 28 Apr 2009 at 2:02 pm Dr Shade

    @ Funny Peculiar

    Me-fucking-thinks you doth fucking protest too fucking much, you fucker!

    That was fucking Shakepeare that fucking was!

    Funnily anough, Shakespeare can be quite apt when it comes to HYS?:

    Alas, poor Topsy! I knew him, Nelson: a spunk-filled cunt-rag of infinitely jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath
    got on my tits a thousand times; and now, how
    abhorred in my imagination it is that he’s still breathing! my gorge rims at
    it. Still, I haven’t spotted any of his posts for a while. Where be your gibes now? your
    gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment,
    that were wont to set the Interwubs on a roar? Aye verily, he’s a cunt

  27. on 28 Apr 2009 at 3:05 pm Jordan

    “What would you prefer? Two spoons getting it on?”

    Spooning, presumably.

  28. on 28 Apr 2009 at 3:13 pm forrin

    Even the times isn’t free of bad orwell comparisons. This one from “pupils aged 11 to learn about gay sex”:

    Who brings up children these days, the state or the parents? When I was 11 I was too busy playing with Star Wars figures to be bothered with sexual orientation. Whatever happened to childhood innocence and the cultivation of the imagination?
    It’s all getting very 1984 as human creativity suffers..

    Andy, Liverpool, UK

    I like that he equates star wars toys and human creativity.

    Although, on the second reading maybe he doesn’t mean nineteen eighty-four the book, but the actual year, when human creativity must have hit a trough.

  29. on 28 Apr 2009 at 3:38 pm Dolly's evil nemesis

    I for one am very much in favour of litercarycy.

  30. on 28 Apr 2009 at 3:55 pm Suicidal-Jihad-Lightning-Terrorist Man

    im truly astoundenated

  31. on 28 Apr 2009 at 4:36 pm Schroduck

    When I was 11 I was too busy playing with Star Wars figures to be bothered with sexual orientation.

    So in other words, he humped his Luke Skywalker action figure as much as his Princess Leia one?

  32. on 28 Apr 2009 at 5:41 pm Funny Peculiar

    Alas, poor Topsy! I knew him, Nelson: a spunk-filled cunt-rag of infinitely jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath got on my tits a thousand times; and now, how
    abhorred in my imagination it is that he’s still breathing! my gorge rims at
    it. Still, I haven’t spotted any of his posts for a while. Where be your gibes now? your gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the Interwubs on a roar? Aye verily, he’s a cunt

    Dr. Shade is one fit to stand by Ceasar and give direction. Aye, I said so. Ah, but that I do see his weakness. His posting to Thee Interlacedweb does gather pace and is more and more the prologue to his work.

    Well… I say ‘work’…

  33. on 28 Apr 2009 at 6:30 pm Dr Shade

    Dr. Shade is one fit to stand by Ceasar and give direction

    There’s plenty would pay to see me directing traffic on the fast lane of the M6 but I’m not sure where the tin of dog food comes in to it…?