Robbing the Communists to Feed the Libertarians
By AlexThanks to Fran and Matt for their submissions on Robin Hood.
Surely his role was quite the opposite: he was the opponent of oppressive over-taxing big government. He stole from the beneficiaries of a corrupt tax system to return wealth to the unfairly taxed masses that they might use it productively. In translating this to modern times, there is a twist. The beneficiaries of the taxes in Robin Hood’s day were the nobility and their various hangers-on, whereas today our taxes are squandered on welfare dependents and employees of public sector make-work schemes. Today’s Robin Hood should steal from the welfare claimants and public-sector payrolls and give to the productive middle classes.
Tim, London
I always thought Robin Hood had the wrong approach. If you take money from the rich, they’re not rich any more, and if you give money to the poor they’ll stop being poor. He probably ended up having to rob people straight afterwards so he could give the money back, and then vice versa. This idea is much better. If you rob people who Tim from London doesn’t like and give it to the people Tim from London does like, mostly Tim from London, you can be certain his grasping, small-minded prejudices won’t change.
31 Responses to “Robbing the Communists to Feed the Libertarians”
I work quite near Guys Hospital. Does anyone want to join me there at lunchtime to beat up some nurses, steal their purses and give them to the nearest middle manager we can find?
Dress code: Green. Bow and arrows provided.
I think he poorly worded it, but I don’t think Tim is wanting to steal from nurses and policemen etc., rather from overpaid public-sector middle-management cretins.
I’m pretty sure he’s advocating stealing from single Mums and the unemployed. My flatmate lost his job in this credit crunch nonsense and is still unemployed. I’ll go home, beat what is left of his savings out of him, and give it to a productive middle class person (not me – I’m a tax-dodging student).
Is a certain clown going to be Friar Fucko?
I’ll get me coat.
So, according to Tim the contemporary equivalent of Robin Hood would be a tax accountant dispensing tax avoidance advice to the middle classes.
That would make great tv.
I thought the point of Robin Hood was that they didn’t have a welfare state, and no one cared about the poor at that time. Since there are “welfare dependents and employees of public sector make-work schemes” we don’t need Robin Hood.
This is a good thing, as I can see no good reason for a fox to hang out with a bear other than an oppressive thumb-sucking lion/snake with a lisp combination.
If I’m right.
The “Most fucked up interpretation of Robin Hood” crown has a new king..
Move over Mr. Costner.
It was watching Costner v Alan Rickman that turned me towards evil – it’s much more interesting and you get smarter uniforms.
I’m sure I remember a sketch on some comedy program describing exactly the cycle of violence Alex describes. It’s probably on youtube somewhere.
I think the flaw in Tim’s interpretation is that the poor have so little to take. When I kick a tramps teeth in for cash it hardly seems worth the effort when all they’ve got is pocket change and cheap booze.
The middle management types that I try to pass this wealth onto take a dim view of coppers and special brew – although occasionally I find some crack or heroin, which they can’t get enough of!
Jesus Christ Incorporated!! Not even Robin Hood is safe from appropriation by the NeofuckingCons! They’ve nicked Socialism to bail out their banker friends, it’ll be Cinderella next, just you wait and see, mark me words etc…
Hahahahahah! Please tell me that “Tim, London” is just a satirically-minded person from SYB having a little fun in the Devil’s Spawnfest that is HYS? Either that or he’s a Tory imbecile of such imbecility that he could actually damage the imbecilic image of Tory imbeciles.
Plus Costner only won with the help of an illegal muslim immigrunt. You couldn’t make it up!
Rickman ruled in that film, but it was ruined by that awful Bryan Adams song that was number one for the whole blummin year.
I sometimes think that some of the comments here are a little unkind. Yeah right. Then I look at what they’re commenting on, and realize that actually they are not actually unkind enough. Not anywhere near. Not by a looooong chalk.
If “Tim, London” is real then I am sure there’s a word for him – I just can’t quite figure out what it might be. I wonder if anyone can help with a suggestion? It would, I fear, need to be really quite unkind to properly address his moronic tory bile…
brainraper?
intelectual gloryhole?
crapweasel?
axolotl’s anus?
scofulus pocupine rectum?
Surely the modern day equivalent of Robin Hood would be the Topman marketing department inventing a series of webisodes in which a spiky haired cretin went around robbing bankers in an ill fitting hoodie and bright red skinny jeans?
It’s Tim Worstall and his economics O-level, isn’t it?
Mr. Cat: it was Dennis Moore!
Steals from the poor
And gives to the rich
Stupid bitch.
mongoloid-fascist-cuntmonkey?
If were allowed to stratch to 2 words I’d also like to cast a vote for “Thatcherite Cuntrag”
I’m a public sector middle-management cretin and I wish I WAS overpaid. Mind you I’d be more than happy to share my 11K credit card debt and mortgage around if anyone’s interested?
Poor old Tim’s missed a golden opportunity to score even more neoCon twattery points with his Robn Hood allegory though – because Robin was also a pure-blood resident Saxon nobleman reduced to outlawry by the invading hordes of forrin Norman illegal immigrunts (none of them had visas) who came over here and stole all our lands and titles and plumbing work. Bastards.
Whatever happened to Michael Praed?
Ooh, ooh, I know this one, it’s on the tip of my tongue… claustrophobic?… colour chart?… constable?… contrarianism?… nah, it’s gone.
I heard Michael Praed doing something on the radio the other day, probably Radio 4. Buggered if I can remember what it was though.
Sad thing is, this is about the eightieth time I’ve heard that “argument”. Which suggests that I should spend time around completely different humans or possibly just in a box behind my bed. Wearing a TAX AND SPEND T-shirt and crying a bit.
I saw someone coming out of the Jobcentre with a Lion bar so I beat them unconcious and stole it
They shouldn’t be buying luxuries with my hard earn taxes!
If I’m right
Robin Hood, Robin Hood riding through the glen,
Friar Tuck ran like fuck ‘cos he buggered men.
If I’m right and I for one think I am.
So… if Robin Hood is now a Daily Mail reading, intolerant, chav-basher, how does this square with the fact he was previously a crusading toff who went off to Jerusalem to slaughter ragheads for the Pope?
Annnnnnnd what about his mystical Al Qeada companion, Morgan Freeman?
Hood’s going to look a bit crap banging his pint down and giving everyone a rousing anti-immigrunt speech with Morgan Bin Laden bobbin’ up and down on his prayer mat next to him.
I shall pray nightly to the god that turned Mrs T into a certified gibbering idiot, that this crud infested turd spurt be delivered into the hands of unemployment for the rest of his day.
What a cock.
Please no, the JobCentrePlus is dismal enough without that bastard in it.
Oh God, once again, you can’t help but wonder what this particular HYSer does for a living. I reckon he works in telesales, flogging non-existent conservatories to the old and bewildered.
Although, given the ‘creative’ track record of other HYSers in this regard, he would probably claim to be a self-made financial services billionaire, who started at 15 and retired at 30, yet reveals in another, unrelated post, that he still managed to fit in 45 years working as a engineer for BT or something.
To be fair, I’m sure Littlejohn would agree. The fat racist cunt.
I see that rude and unsavoury people have tried to help Dolly’s Evil Nemesis (the cunt) with some bad words about this folklore-annexing tory twat. Shame on you all! Collating vigorously, I seem to find that Tim of London is (at least) the following:
My, my, such abuse. I do hope that Tim of London, the dogfucking imbecile, doesn’t accidentally pop in and see it … at the moment he thinks he’s been rather clever and I fear that the loathing and venom engendered by his vomitworthy arsewipe of a paragraph might cause something to break deep inside his snivelling wretched gobshite little soul. And then he might just fall over, and rise no more.
On the other hand, fuck him.
Hitler’s Penis.
I sense anger in you. been at the viagra again?