Thanks to Mark for pointing me at the CiF profile of fantazamaraz. Fantazamaraz is a “Writer-Director,Critic-Commentator,Former top British radio broadcaster US” and a fucking embarrassment.
fantazamaraz
17 May 09, 4:32amYES WEV’E LOST FACE IN DEMOCRACY
THANKS TO THE WAYS OF THE LABOUR PARTY
THANKS TO THOSE PILFERING MP’s
THEY MAKE GREAT BRITAIN LOOK LIKE SLEAZE
WE NEED SOME POWER BALANCE DON’T YOU SEE
SO IT CAN’T HURT TO VOTE FOR A SOME BNP.!
IT’S THE OTHER WHO HAVE CREATED THIS MESS
NICK GRIFFIN HAS REMAINED QUITE SCANDALESS
CHARACTER ASSASSINATION PUT ASIDE
TO KNOW FOR SURE IS WHN THEYV’E BEEN TRIED
WEV’E NOTHING TO LOSE AND A LOT TO GAIN
TO LET BNP MAKE US GREAT AGAIN.!
I’m almost starting to feel sorry for the BNP, but I guess a voter is still a voter. So what if he has a few bits of mashed up banana on his face?
Having said that, it might take a few hours coaching to prevent him spoiling his ballot. Without a bit of training, he’s fairly likely to write “HA HA HEE! CAN’T YOU SEE? I WANT TO VOTE FOR THE BNP!!!” on it before waggling his eyebrows and dancing off merrily into the woods, playing the theme tune from Wizbit on a recorder.
125 Responses to “Be En Pee! Rhymes With Tree!”
I SHALL VOTE FOR BNP!
COS I’M A BIG FAT CUNT, YOU SEE,
AND IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ME,
DIRECTLY IN YOUR FACE I’LL PEE.
(AND TO THINK PEOPLE SAY I’M SHIT AT POETRY)
What I find most astonsihing about this is that someone who is advocating voting BNP actually goes on the Guardian website. I can’t help but imagine that when he reads their left-leaning articles his face melts a la that nazi feller when the Ark of the Covenant is opened in Raiders of the lost Ark
He’s a stunning advert for something. Retrospective abortion, I think.
I see him in his dingy flat, surrounded by copies of “Guns and Ammo” and English flags, the dichotomy of being the BNP’s first rapper from Da Hood causing all thoughts of pressing the Caps Lock key to vanish like snow off a dyke.
Coming soon, the collected works…
http://www.guardian.co.uk/users/fantazamaraz/comments
Every comment in rhyming couplets, seriously?!?! Used to be a top British broadcaster, my money’s on the ghost of John Peel
I am a poet
and don’t I know it
I am a racist
but cannot face it.
i got my bnp euro election leaflet today. apart from the polish spitfire and the italian pensioners it’s a masterpiece.
Oh God no – it’s also an Independent Regular.
This SPECIALLY WRITTEN POEM is from this article about British Jobs For British (American) People:
which article also give us this gem. And by ‘gem’, I actually mean pile of steaming ordure.
So (white) Americans are still British, but the moment that the Romans/Jutes/Angles/Normans/Saxons/proto-Ethiopians set foot in proto-Ipswich/proto-Sunderland/wherever the hell they first set foot in the 4th/5th/11th century BC/AD/whenever the hell they first set foot, they because British? Where is this magical cut-off point before which any old Johnny Foreign Invading Horde instantly becomes convertified to a proper local but after which they can all fuck off back to where they came from? 1621? 1945? Ghostbusters 2?
I WONT VOTE FOR NICK GRIFFIN
ID RATHER SIT AND EAT MY TIFFIN
He’s *everywhere*.
Well, everywhere you’d expect the common garden loon.
This was my favourite:
If he gets Plymouth and Portsmouth confused I expect he’s forrin anyway.
‘BECAUSE’ INSTEAD OF ‘BECAME’ I DID WRITE,
EDIT IT, IF I COULD, I MIGHT,
THIS SIMPLE TYPO I HOPE DOES NOT,
INVALIDATE MY ARGUMENT ONE JOT,
FOR GRIFFIN A CUNT STILL IS, NO DOUBT,
AND HIS SUPPORTERS CAN ALL DIE HORRIBLY IN AN EBOLA BOUT
I READ THE VERSES OF FANTAZAMARAZ
FUCKING HELL THE GUY’S A SPAZ
BUT HIS VERSES MUST HAVE AFFECTED ME
COS I CAN’T STOP WRITING IN FUCKING POETRY
He’s on YouTube as well – Sharing his views and commentaries to inspire deeper thoughts (apparently).
Okay, here’s a money making idea…
We’ll get lots of little old ladies to invest in our Broadway show in return for 50% of the profits each. Then we put on a production that’s sure to fail and pocket all the money!
Now, all we need is raving facist with no artistic ability whatsoever to write the lyrics. Hmmmm…
IF YOU’RE SKIN BE WHITE
BRITISH YOU MUST BE QUITE
AS LONG AS YOUR NOT A EUROPEAN
THE SATIRICAL HALF ARSED POETRY
IS PARTICULARLY PAINFUL TO ME
PLEASE STOP DOING IT EVERYONE
OR I WILL HAVE TO BUY A GUN
AND SHOOT EVERY SINGLE UNFUNNY POSTER
BEFORE SKULLFUCKING YOUR STILL TWITCHING CORPSES.
(sorry, having a VERY bad day)
It’s like Norman Tebbit trying to channel Alan Ginsberg through a telegram.
Could be Simon Dee, erstwhile DJ and known a complete warthog’s arse in the unfortunate town that he’s retired to. His letters to the local rag were always on the deranged side. I reckon he’s snapped.
Dammit, I’m itching to join in on the shit poetry but can’t bring myself to do it. Instead, I’ll amuse myself that he actually talks like that in everyday life whilst wearing a green pointy hat with a purple feather in it and saying foldy roldy ray doo day to everyone he meets.
The BNP bit is to make him look hard because he lives on a dodgy estate so needs to set up an edgy image.
Just for variety:
There was an old twat in a bedsit,
Who couldn’t help spouting complete shit.
He spewed his couplets
On all t’internets
But even though they sort of rhymed they just couldn’t hide the fact that he was a drooling lobster’s ladybit.
Is this the cunt?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wTzK-Mqvs4
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Ooh! Conceptual!
I reckon it’s Noel Edmonds.
He’s exactly how you imagine them isn’t he.
Have a look at what he mentions under ‘films and shows’ on his youtube profile.
Fucking excellent!!! I haven’t laughed so much since my pet Gerbil Eric joined the BNP and became their Animal Rights Advisor.
No, “THEY” don’t!
Great Britain looks like a lady kneeling down with her tits out on my maps.
…does that make Southend the arsehole? Fits.
Can’t imagine why One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest is one of his favourite films. Medication time, medication time…
Is it just me or does anyone else get a cold shiver when he describes himself as a “film director” ?
Surreptitiously spying on the Brownie troop next door with a camcorder does not make one an auteur!!!
(Yes, I am a pretentious toad’s tool!).
Lol, toad’s tool.
I just got that.
If your not catholic, strieght, male and white
Yer just forun, queer and bleedin’ shite
Have you watched some of those videos?
Classic “I’m speaking for the people, but they’ve been brainwashed” material. No mate, they havn’t, its more the down to the fact you are a racist ocelot’s anus with a webcam.
EXCEPT OF COURSE IN ‘98,
WHEN HE GOT DONE FOR RACIAL HATE.
HE GOT A NINE MONTH SUSPENDED SENTENCE
FOR SAYING THE HOLOCAUST WAS JEWISH NONSENSE.
DAMN YOU NELSON YOU THOUGHTLESS SHIT
NOW MY MIND WON’T STOP PLAYING THE THEME TO WIZBIT
Seriously, I’m a martyr to my earworms and you’ve just triggered one off. Ah well, it gives me a break from ‘Hooray for Harold Lloyd’…
Fantazmaraz sounds like a totally forrin name – string ‘im up!
PS I might start ending everything with a full stop followed by an exclamation mark – it just looks SO intellectual.!
What sort of fvcking rhyme scheme is that, fantazamaraz, you vole-stroker?
I mean, granted we on Squeak You’re Grans all hate the Jews and blacks and queers as much as the next man. But there is no need to murder the language of Shakespeare like that. I’m going to vote Liberal as a protest now.
IT WAS BETTER WHEN WE WERE CALLED THE NATIONAL FRONT.
‘COS IT RHYMED SO WELL WITH TOTAL HEROES.!
[blockquote]PS I might start ending everything with a full stop followed by an exclamation mark – it just looks SO intellectual.![/blockquote]
I imagine he speaks in a loud, calm monotone, but that after every sentence he shouts OOOOOH! That’s what the full-stop-exclamation-mark combo tells me, anyway. OOOOOH!
Aaargh! We just got the BNP leaflet out of our mailbox. The Young Fella is currently reading it out to me wearing washing up gloves (we can’t bring ourselves to touch it directly – he brought it up to the flat by putting his sleeve over his hand). He keeps ad-libbing it to make to sound even more thick and racist… but then he read one bit about British troops being harassed non-stop on the streets by Muslims and as I laughed, he said ‘No, that’s actually what it says; I didn’t add anything to that bit’. Jesus wept.
Chucked it away now. We washed our hands, just in case.
Bit Special,
The poor old Guardsman on the BNP leaflet, ill-equipped and harassed by Muslims on the street, actually left the army over a decade again, says he would never vote BNP, and when he rang BNP head office (bunker ?) to complain about their using his image without permission , and attributing made-up comments to him, was – he alleges – told to “f*** off!”
Why am I not surprised?
YeGods, I think that was actually because one of his ancestors fancied a Danish wench 1000 years ago and there is not properly Ingerlish. Seriously though, imagine the horror of seeing your face on a BNP leaflet. What if people you knew saw it and actually thought you were… one of THEM. Too hideous to contemplate.
I still feel soiled and a bit sick re: the BNP leaflet. Might have to get it out of the bin and throw it away in an outside bin. Don’t like thought of it in the flat. Eeeuch. Am scared I will get up tomorrow and it’ll be whole again (we ripped it up) and sat in the middle of the coffee table. Shudder.
@Bit Special. The safest way to dispose of a BNP leaflet without risking spiritual contamination is to gird yourself in multicultural iconography
a) put on rubber gloves, preferably black
b) put some 1950s jamaican ska or banghra or the Muslim call to prayer on the stereo full-blast
c) Fashion a towel around your head in to a make-shift turban.
d) using tongs, carefully wrap the leaflet in a hot chapati with proper chili sauce
d) hurry down the street to where the leafleteer is presumably still spreading his hate.
e) Tell him that you’re in a bit of a hurry cos you’ve got to get back to your son’s barmitzvah, then shove it up his arse singing Hare Krishna
krishna krishna
hare hare
I’ve got Double Ds – fffffffnak! yurble whoorrr
It is me or does the guy sound foreign maybe South African? It may explain his unhealthy penchant for the BNP.
I found that singing along to Robert Wyatt’s version of The Internationale played very loudly worked to purify the house after I’d had a short political discussion with the BNP cunt, me and my baseball bat that is.
THIS IS A STORY ALL ABOUT HOW, MY LIFE GOT FLIPPED, TURNED UPSIDE DOWN,
I’D LIKE TO TAKE A MINUTE, JUST SIT RIGHT THERE, I’LL TELL HOW I BECAME SUCH A TOTAL AND UTTER BELL-END.
IN ENGLAND(NOT EUROPE) I WAS BORN AND RAISED, THE PLAYGROUND IS WHERE I SPENT MOST OF MY DAYS,
TALKING FUCKING SHIT AND TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS, BUT IT NEVER REALLY WORKED ‘CAUSE THEY THOUGHT I WAS A COCKEND,
THEN A COUPLE OF IMMIGRUNTS WHO WERE UP TO NO GOOD, STARTED MOVING IN TO MY NEIGHBOURHOOD,
I SMASHED A FEW LITTLE WINDOWS AND MY MUM WENT SPARE, SHE SAID “WHY DON’T YOU FUCK OFF AND JOIN THE BNP YOU RACIST LITTLE TURD?”
I WHISTLED FOR A CAB AND WHEN IT CAME NEAR, THE DRIVER WAS FORRIN AND PROBABLY QUEER,
IF ANYTHING I’D LIKE TO SAY THIS CAB WAS RARE, BUT IT’S NOT BECAUSE OF GORDON CLOWN AND TONY BLAIR!!!!!
I PULLED UP TO THE THE HOUSE ABOUT 7 OR 8, SAID TO THE CABBIE I’LL REPATRIATE YA LATER,
SPOKE WITH NICK GRIFFEN, I WAS FINALLY THERE, A CREDULOUS FUCKWITTED RACIST JERK.
Sorry about that, hey look, what’s that over there? *RUNS AND HIDES*
Is it only me that fantasises about stealing a ‘Nam-style’ helicopter and buzzing the BNP’s annual get together, The Red, White and Blue Weekend Summer Festival? Circling just above the stinking crowd, strafing them with 1000s of round of high-velocity bullets. Scattering them like chickens. Swooping over the fields, chasing down little fleeing clusters and watching them cartwheel as the hot metal shatters their bones and flings them to oblivion? Rocketing the car park as they scramble for their incredibly tastless macho vehicles. In a cowboy hat and blaring Wagner over the vengeful scream of the machine guns. Seeing Nick Griffin crawling across the body-strewn grass with several critical bullet wounds
oooohhhhh god… err, has anyone got a tissue?
Not Wagner! They’d probably love it!
That YouTube video is fucking unbelievable. “Ok the BNP might be racist, might be nazi, might be holocaust deniers. But what has that got to do with British politics?”
Then he goes on to slate those that would call Obama a half-caste wastrel good for nothing piece of shit. Er…that would be the BNP then.
I posted a link for him on the latest thread he commented on. You’re all going to feel pretty stupid when you get a visit from the great man himself.
Sadly, the only thing that’s going to work with BNP ScumTM is a Khmer Rouge-esque Year Zero policy, but, er, the other way round from how the Khmer Rouge did it. Firstly, all BNP and HYS twatbaskets are rounded up and properly educated. All will wear a tasteful uniform hand-picked from the Boden catalogue and those adverts in the back of the Guardian Weekend mag featuring stripy Breton tops, etc. Forced labour will include, but is not limited to: the making of goat’s cheese and sundried tomato quiche (gluten-free pastry, of course) and a herbed quinoa side-salad, reading quality literature by contemporary writers from across the globe, weekend visits to farmer’s markets, watching international films and sitting at a dinner party discussing hopes for the future of the world now Barack Obama is president of the US, with friends of many different colours, religions and nationalities. At night, they will be forced to sit through lectures, films and slideshows explaining in intricate and explicit detail, which even a retarded child couldn’t fail to get the gist of, exactly why prejudice, xenophobia, nationalism, homophobia, sexism, misogyny and so on (and, if I have my way, religion) are illogical, pointless, stupid, embarrassing, immature, self-limiting, destructive and heinous. And why, out of all nations, there is no such thing as a ‘true’ English person, given our nation’s history and geography, therefore making the very nature of Britishness/Englishness a love of change, fluidity of identity, openness and embracing different cultures. World Music will play day and night, till they learn (although maybe omit anything with a Gamalan in it – that shit would send anyone a bit Hitler).
That or Offa’s plan.
Ceannair
Actually, if he is the BNP’s Leni Riefenstahl, then I’m slightly less worried.
PS. Our BNP leaflets have gone for recycling – something to appreciate in a few months when you are wiping.
@Bit Special
I’d go with Offa’s suggestion, yours sounds like cruel and unusual punishment.
Especially the world music bit.
…with BNP ScumTM is a Khmer
…round from how the
…twatbaskets are rounded up and
…hand-picked from the
…the Guardian Weekend
…include, but is not
…sundried tomato quiche
…side-salad, reading
What the fuck is this, the Blank Verse Club? None of that rhymed.
Also too much hard work for me, Mal.
The BNP don’t leaflet us
Even though I can see good honest ENGLISH Fresian cows from this very window, right now, intermingling with a big BROWN bull in this very field here! With his enormous dangling wet cock, he’s going from cow to cow to cow with one purpose only… to make them ALL pregnant! Will he care for this army of half-caste bastards… most certainly not. Will they be brought up to respect Englishness and English laws… I severly doubt it. Will they be bullied in the cow-playground for being freaks and not feel at home anywhere… er, probably. Will this feeble extended metaphor survive another rhetorical sentence… not if the BNP were leafleting my community, it wouldn’t! SHAME ON YOU ALL!
(I’m not a fan of World Music, but I’d love to see the effect of BNP ScumTM having to listen to it 24-7. Oh wait, making people listen to stuff they hate day and night is a Gitmo trick. Bollocks)
Erm, Friesian cows were imported into this country from The Netherlands in the 19thC – the dirty black (and, um, white) foreign moo-slags! Eating up all our good English grass; what will PROPER English cows eat? For shame!
Dayle Mayle, you foreign-speaking filth! ‘Netherlands’ is a corruption of ‘Nederland’ which is bloody German and translates into ENGLISH as The Low Countries not The Netherlands. But I suppose ENGLISH isn’t good enough for your metric, dope-smoking, porn-addled friends, huh?
I’m getting flashbacks to Cyril “Cunt” Fletcher and his pisspoor “Odd Odes” on That’s Life in the 1970s (the show whose highlight was usually a cock-shaped vegetable). Jesus, we had some quality TV back then.
I used my BNP leaflet to wipe my arse with. Now the toilet’s blocked and I can’t get a Polish plumber out to unblock it. The BNP aren’t getting my vote until they get me a plumber out, sharpish, pronto!
No, FP, The Netherlands is the correct name for the country we incorrectly call ‘Holland’. As Holland is actually two smaller provinces (North and South) of THE NETHERLANDS, it’s like forrins stupidly calling the whole of England ‘Lincolnshire’ or something. The Dutch called their country Nederland.
On the other hand, they invented Gabba, so perhaps they deserve to be wound up by us using the wrong name for their country!
Well South Holland is in Lincolnshire.
What a curious coincidence.
i’ve just had a bnp leaflet through my door for the first time in my life. although it was gaily coloured, it tasted of nothing at all, maybe slightly bitter.
it’s political correctness gone mad, i tell you!
God, Lincolnshire is dire. If I ever have to go there, I feel like I’m in a gritty low-budget film about squalor and child sex abuse in the 70s. And that’s on a good day.
The BBC Poetry Season has a lot to answer for.
I love how he begins the first video you see on his youtube profile with “Welcome back to my show!” He really is proper batshit insane.
With a fa la la and a hey nonny no/
And a step to the back and a step to the front/
With a a drum synth break and a yup yup yo/
This bloke is barking and a complete
Oh God I can’t be bothered. Just shoot me. Where’s Göring when you need him?
What a fucking spastic.
So saying you’re from Holland (not the Netherlands) would kind of be a bit like saying you were from England (not Britain) then?
When reading Fantazmaraz’s poetry, there’s something about monkeys and typewriters that springs to mind. Obviously one of them got lucky and typed out the works of Shakespeare, the rest of them came up with something that resembled this shite.
Nah, E A Bliar, saying you were from Holland (which a Dutch person wouldn’t do) is like saying you’re from Kent (not England) – even more incredibly parochial. Your comment made me laugh out loud though!
I tempted to e-mail Fantazmaraz as a ‘Mr Julius Streicher’ editor of Der Stürmer and asking for some contributions to Poetry Corner. I’m sure he’d fall for it.
HOW has Carol Ann Duffy become the Poet Laureate when there’s Fantazmaraz?! I can totally imagine Prince Philip commissioning some stirring stanzas (ooh, get me!) about ‘darkies’ and ’slit-eyes’, whilst curiously glossing over his own forrin-immygruntness. Hmm, hang on, how do the BNP square being such staunch monarchists with the Royal Family being of forrin stock? Is it cos that stock is mainly German, by any chance? Or is it cos the BNP are thick, illogical and mental? Both, of course.
PS Daley’s right, it IS The Netherlands, not Holland.
The BNP flyer arrived with my birthday post this morning, successfully ruining my first moments of adulthood. It might as well have said on it: “Fuck your youthful idealism, the grown-up world only has room for bigots and morons.”
It’s a conspiracy, I tell you.
I had my “first moments of adulthood” with my Mum’s Littlewoods catalogue (lingerie section in case you were wondering). I hope you don’t develop a fetish in later life for poor graphic design and Polish Spitfires.
Happy Birthday, Youth. Don’t worry; it’s all downhill from here.
I saw the fuckers who were posting the fuckin things in my street. Living examples of why racial purity is not a good thing. Stunted fat wankers with very thick glasses and the smell of chip fat hanging off their awful clothes. The very funny part was seeing how quickly they scuttled away when my neighbour (mixed race, 6 foot 5, martial arts instructor) came out with the offending leaflet in his hand. Still, makes a change from shoving real excrement through the letterbox I suppose.
Okay, I’m sorry – I’m sick I know, but I just put the “wheelchair” bit there together with “downhill” and made a “wheeeeeeeeeee” noise in my head.
It won’t happen again.
Possibly.
Does song (or as we say in English, sings):
“All we are saying, is ‘Give Fascism a chance.’”
And does dance (or as we say in English, dances) on Nick Griffith’s grave. What? OK, that can be arranged.
Ceannair, you’ll be laughing on the other side of your face when I nick your job via positive discrimination! Well, when someone helps me up off the pavement and back into my chair, that is. Bastard.
I find it difficult to hate the BNP, as it’s so wonderfully ridiculous.
I must confess that the BNP have made me happy in the past. When the lead singer of Skrewdriver died I was on a high for days.
Badum-tssh!
The Guardian comments are a nice big bowl of crazy.
I enjoyed this –
Apparently William Blake started out in very much the same way.
I didn’t fight in two world wars and one world cup to see a bunch of nazi teddy boys eliminate punctuation from their juvenile attempts at poetry.
I written to the Daily Mail in order to put an end to this vile practice.
Every time I see David Miliband, his hair reminds me of a chickaboo. It’s very off-putting.
http://tvcream.squarespace.com/storage/photos/dolls/chicaboo.jpg
But it’s joke parties like this that are ruining it for the hard working members of proper political parties that have actual policies and real manifestos.
Making outrageous claims, spewing half-baked ideas and dressing in funny costumes have no place in British Politics.
@Bit Special – His hair is actually pure Playmobil – he’s on the right of this picture, about to catch the bus after collecting his P45.
It actually works quite well to the tune of P>I>M>P by 50 Cent.
Maybe he could get Kilroy to come on and do the Snoop Dogg bit in the video.
Rotwatcher, that picture is ace. I think Hazel Blears was in it too. I can’t help wondering what sort of kid would be fascinated by a BUS STOP to play with – is it part of a new Asperger’s range?
Anyone seen the UKIP leaflet? It looks exactly the same as the BNP one! Same shite colours. Photocopied pic of Churchill. “SAY NO TO THE EU!” – I live in North Wales you stupid fuckers. Watch us go up shit creak without any EU grants and our seasonal, part time, minimum wage economy. Oh what fun it would be! God I hope there aren’t too many rich, right-wing retirees round here. It’s BNP for the middle classes I tell you. They’re embarrassed to admit they’re frightened of different races so they take it out on the poles instead.
@ Icarus: You may find it hard to hate the BNP, but believe me, it’s worth the effort.
We haven’t had them round here yet. UKIP did try, which considering I’m the only person in the house who isn’t from Continental Europe was a tad optimistic on their part.
“Don’t worry; it’s all downhill from here.”
You were right: my “friends” turned up at lunchtime with a bottle of “blue alco-piss” (to quote Brooker).
On the other hand, Ben “Bell-end” Clarke got fired from The Apprentice.
It’s been a roller-coaster of a day.
OH BNP
IS THE ONE FOR ME
EVERY OTHER PARTY WANTS TO MAKE ME PEE
WHICH ISN’T A GOOD THING I CAN TELL YOU
CAUSE GORDON BROWN SMELLS OF POOH
NICK GRIFFIN HES SO SMART
IF YOU DON’T VOTE FOR HIM,WE ARE GOING TO HELL IN A HAND CART
So vote for BNP in the European election, if you don’t and we form the next government we will pay you a visit. A serve visit. Rights for whites, freedom for Britain (I mean England (Actually no scrub that I do mean Britain (or Britan maybe not to sure about that, no its most definitely Britain)))
Hate to be pedantic (well, I don’t) but surely him being scandaless (scandalous?) isn’t such a great selling point …
I am always amazed that noone ever focuses on the BNPs policies other than ‘throw all the darkies out (not racist honest)’. I read their manifesto on their website last night and it was hilarious. They will solve the Northern ireland issue once and for all by dissolving the NI assembly and kicking Sinn Fein out and then, ‘inviting’ the Republic of Ireland to join the UK.
If only we had thought of that earlier, think of the bloodshed we would avoid.
oh and they also will solve all unemployment in the UK by ending globalisation by banning the sale of selected foreign goods.
genius
Sorry that was all very serious.
Bunch of dog’s pissflaps.
@Serotonin
I agree, it’s a shame to focus on one thing when all their policies are utterly mental. There’s less poetry about anti-globalisation, pensioners and Jerusalem though.
Well, maybe not Jerusalem, that being a poem.
flange.
I AM VERY SAD YOU MOCKED ME AND MY POETRY JUST COS I VOTE BNP AND I’VE BEEN DIAGNOSED INSANE MEDICALLY THE PRATIES ARE LYING CAN’T YOU SEE.! IT’S ALL A CONSPIRACY SO DONT FITE AGENST ME FITE WIT ME.! Now I must go, the Doctor wants me to take the pill that stops me spouting crap.!
I was both shocked and impressed by the BNP flyer that arrived in our mail a couple of days ago.
Shocked because no matter how hard I and the better half looked we couldn’t find any errors (in the grammatically not logical arguement sense).
Impressed because I live in an area with many immigrants, especially Muslims and Hindus (who make great neighbours fwiw). It must take some balls (or ignorance) to give out pamphlets insulting a racial group TO that racial group.
ps. The only other flyer we have received was for Labour and was error riddled.
Solving the Irish question by allowing Ireland to join Britain (not England). Don’t mean to judge old ‘Saint’ Nick but isn’t that rather similar to Anschluss?
What would Hitler do?
Right he would of done the same thing, has he been reading the same manual ?
I think Jazzmagarazz actually meant ‘SANDALESS’. Our Nick is neither a sandal wearing hippy, nor a tree hugger, thank you very much. He eats meat like every proppa MAN as well. He IS NOT a puffta neither and he don’t live amongst no ethnics as well! Got that you PC fascist Commie leftie liberals!
Do you imagine BNP counsellors bring up their little flock of aspiring BNPites with this catch-all homily. I do hope so.
So, just remember guys, if a family of Jews move in next door to you, and their car is two years younger than yours and his wife makes your wife look like a bulging sack of runny lard, then, don’t panic, just ask yourself, “what would Hitler do?” and it’ll all be OK.
Well Hitler would of forced the family out, firebomb the house, then build a extension over the burning embers to house his extended family in it. Only to have planning permission denied by lefty Jewish-Bolshevik hoard also know as the council. Then he would of topped himself, safe in the knowledge that he tried.
The thing about Nick Grifftin that I resent is that he always says he represents the white working classes of this country. Right, I’m white, working class but (1) I don’t have a 2:2 in History With Law (2) I never went to Cambridge (3) My father wasn’t a Conservative councillor (4) I have never denied the holocaust (5) I have never tried to meet Colonel Gadaffi (6) Or have Rod Liddle defend my right of freedom of speech (7) Or appeared on national TV with gapping tape over my mouth, lord knows how I have tried but thats never happened. Though I have looked up his name on Wikipedia, which I am sure he has done, so we have something in common, still I think I might pass on voting for him or his party. See that isn’t enough for me. Maybe I am just selfish.
Don’t you think that the BNP winning a seat or two in the next election, the general election that is, would be quite a steep learning curve for them. Having to represent their constituents, no matter who they voted for e.g. weekend surgeries . See the BNP always target constituencies of multicultural diversity. So if say they won a seat in one of those target seats wouldn’t they have to represents the grievances and demands of them too. What with the current climate of Mps appearing to not represent the voters, the expensive scandal for example, the BNP who feel they are capitalising on this scandal would have to appear, no pun intended, whiter then white. Failure to represent their constituents would seem, dare might I add undemocratic. So in conclusion, the BNP within the current political system, first past the post, that is, are truly bugged if they wish to appear as the saviours of this county, as soon as they win a seat they will also represent the people within that constituency regardless or race, creed or colour. Just a thought. Though one simple way to avoid all this democratic nonsense and time wasting is to seize control of the state, rid this country of such a system, by pass any democratic reform and implement a Fourth Reich, would by far more simple…anyho…
Argghhh! Damn you. Damn you all with your beady gimlet eyes and penchant for sarcasm!
I haven’t had a wink of sleep, nor can I concentrate for any length of time. My head is filled with ha ha this-a-ways and ha ha that-a-ways.
Now I’m being haunted by images of the appalling visage of Paul Daniels, grinning away like a priapic but ageing bonobo.
Damn you all to hell!
Google his name and it is clear that the guy is a total cunt.
The guy’s about a million years old.
http://www.youtube.com/user/fantazamaraz
…I think thats what he means by “movie maker”. Having a youtube channel. How very fucking subversive.
Fantazmaraz!??!?! Is this twuntbasket pretending to a rapper or something?
Crikey- clocked his Youtube channel:
“Born Wales….Early years Australia….Journalist at 15 DJ at 17 top DJ USA at 25. Television @ Movie Director at 30.
Later top childrens TV show Australia and Japan
30 years LA. Deep thinker.”
Not that deep obviously, as he woudn’t have such a multinational career if the BNP had been in charge.
And honestly, can you imagine him on children’s TV?!?!?
… And while I’m at, is there actually any evidence that he’s been anything other than a legend in his own mind. Can’t find on Google any of his supposed “TV Shows”, references to DJing, even his actual name. You’d think he’d be plugging it for all it’s worth.
I watched one of the YouTube videos. It’s was pretty annoying, but I wasn’t actually listening to what he was saying, more that his voice was so annoying. He sounds like a wheezy bluebottle trapped in a biscuit tin.
I had to stop and rewind this bit though (talking about Nick Griffin):
“I don’t care if he doesn’t like Jews or Gypsies or Muslims or a lot of the blacks. There’s nothing wrong in that because those people don’t like us white folk, a lot of them, too. But it doesn’t mean to say that he or I or anybody else is a hate-monger or a racist.”
That’s a whole new special kind of stupid right there.
I believe someone else already commented on the comic possibilities of ‘hate monger’, but it bears repeating.
Don’t insult mongs, they’ve got the brains to know right from wrong, unlike Griffin et al.
Yes.
Baa baa black sheep, get out of my paddock, stealing food from the mouths of good, honest, hard-working, white, BRITISH sheep, you couldn’t make it up.!
Someone wrote in or texted in or whatever-the-helled in to the letters column of a tube-giveaway-tabloid newspaperish thing saying, “I’ve had a good look at the BNP website and I see no racism or bigotry there.”
Ehhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…
Oh never mind. Another one converted to the cause of Griffin The Barnet Haemorrhoid, I guess. (Or maybe they were already a Believer.) Marvellous.
I’m so sorry, I meant to add “If I’m right” to that, but forget. Apologies for the inconvenience. If I’m right.
I’m old enough to remember when DJs (real and wannabe) spoke in that mid-Atlantic drawl. Listening to fantazamaraz is a like hearing Alan Freeman, Tony Blackburn and ‘Diddy’ David Hamilton rolled into a single annoying entity that drawls on endlessly about foreigners, this once great cuntry, indigenous Britons on their knees, blah, blah.
Its far worse than my worst ever acid trip.
No 60’s child, I am your worst acid trip!
60’s Child: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!