Outsiders and Self-appointed Sages02 Jun 2009 09:52 am

Statistician

By Alex

Thanks to Lindsay. On why the overwhelming majority of rapes go unpunished. I find it slightly odd that HYSers are never in the slightest bit concerned about the rights of those falsely accused of car theft, burglary or black-on-black knifecrime, not to mention terrorism and loitering with intent. It’s political correctness gone shit.

What percentage of women lie?

Is it 65%, 1% or 1/65%.

Surveys suggest 60%, but if just one 65th of a percent of women lie, this accounts for 46000 rape allegations.

Since I know no men who boast of it, I conclude a tiny number of men rape several women each. Roll on DNA at birth
Charles, London

What percentage of proctologists lie? Is it 86% or 4.3%? My imagination suggests it’s whatever number best supports my opinion, but if just 97% of proctologists lie, I hate women. I hope one day I meet those two guys who buy all the pile cream. ‘Cos I’ve never heard anyone boast about the size of their arse-grapes. Roll-on deodorant.

43 Responses to “Statistician”

  1. on 02 Jun 2009 at 10:17 am   fucko the clown

    well statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

  2. on 02 Jun 2009 at 10:19 am   Rich (MMath)(Oxon)

    Since I know no men who boast of it, I conclude a tiny number of men rape several women each.

    Try concluding again.

  3. on 02 Jun 2009 at 10:22 am   Felna

    I conclude that Charles is an arse 100% of the time…

  4. on 02 Jun 2009 at 10:26 am   Melliflouous

    Lies, damn lies, and cunts………….never a truer word said by thingy-o bloke

  5. on 02 Jun 2009 at 10:48 am   William

    if just one 65th of a percent of women lie, this accounts for 46000 rape allegations.

    Which leaves… (finger tapping, mumbling, carry the four, times by 6500, subtract your original number)… 299,964,000 cases of actual rape. Since I know no men who boast of it, it proves that Charles has raped every women in Britain at least ten times. Including, I’m sorry to say, your mum. What a stunning cunt.

  6. on 02 Jun 2009 at 10:50 am   Mr Cat

    Since I know no men who boast of it

    All these cases would be solved if police could only just hang rund the pub and listen out for people BOASTING. A missed trick.

  7. on 02 Jun 2009 at 10:59 am   fucko the clown

    or it could just be one huge slut that enjoys a good rape-o-thon then feels bad and reports it each time?

    roll on roll off ferry

  8. on 02 Jun 2009 at 11:02 am   A Woman

    What percentage of women lie?

    None Charlie. You’re a charming, handsome man and you’ve got a beautiful big cock which smells lovely. And even though I was frightened at first and didn’t want you to do it to me, by the end I was cummming like an express train.

  9. on 02 Jun 2009 at 11:09 am   john Adair's Gerbil

    It’s terrible – I asked my wife if she’d seen the Creme Egg that was in the fridge and she said no, she hadn’t, as she was being raped.

    You couldn’t make it up.

  10. on 02 Jun 2009 at 11:24 am   fucko the clown

    “I thought no means yes in female psychology your honour”

    @ A woman – presumably not a virgin express train, mind you they rarely come. leaves on the fanny and wrong type of fanny batter etc

  11. on 02 Jun 2009 at 11:47 am   Dr Feelgood

    Will return to deal with Charles at a later point, but right at the moment I’m channeling Andrea Dworkin.

    In the meantime, and off-topic, all you fans of the BNP here might enjoy this rather amusing skit:
    http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=101764769632&h=WXvby&u=1NGLS&ref=mf

  12. on 02 Jun 2009 at 12:43 pm   Joe C

    And I always thought Charles was the best royal. I’m sure Camilla would be horrified if she knew about comments like that.

  13. on 02 Jun 2009 at 1:04 pm   pigfrottage

    Using a combination of FACTS, least-squares regression analysis and ANOVA, I have concluded that Charles is a Mysoginistic Rhino’s rectum.

  14. on 02 Jun 2009 at 1:45 pm   face

    “Roll on DNA at birth”

    Would this solve the problem though ? Roll-on DNA ?

  15. on 02 Jun 2009 at 1:53 pm   TheViolentMajority

    I genuinely can’t remember ever seeing a less successful attempt at logical deduction than yer man Charles here. I mean Jesus.

  16. on 02 Jun 2009 at 2:38 pm   My Foot Hurts.

    What a steaming pile of slug turds Charles has managed to spew forth. Doesn’t it occur to him that if “one 65th of a percent” (which in proper maths works out at about 0.15%) of allegations are false, then it means 99.85% of allegations are true?

    With stats like that, we might as well just skip the trial and go straight to sentencing!!

  17. on 02 Jun 2009 at 2:48 pm   Another Bloody Woman

    Oh yes, I remember helping out in that ‘have you ever lied about being raped’ survey. There was a prize draw if you filled it in. Thing is, though, I lied about having lied! Hee hee! We’re such silly, whimsical, untrustworthy creatures, aren’t we?

    Turns out the ‘survey’ was just for a highly inappropriate question on Family Fortunes anyway.

  18. on 02 Jun 2009 at 3:14 pm   man in a long overcoat

    If you like completely meaningless percentages, the Christian Party website has conclusive proof that all women are evil lying bitches.

    Charles should get together with the female Guardian columnist who last week claimed that society is getting more tolerant of rape. They could listen to Fiona Apple together for all eternity. Which seems a suitable punishment.

  19. on 02 Jun 2009 at 3:34 pm   My Foot Hurts.

    “If you like completely meaningless percentages…”

    I only like percentages that are 43.8% meaningless.

  20. on 02 Jun 2009 at 4:19 pm   john Adair's Gerbil

    Dearie me.

    80% of both men and women believe that a majority of women would lie seriously enough to convict their own husbands of a crime he didn’t commit

    Cue A-Team intro.

    “In 1972 a crack commando team was sentenced by a Christian court that the bitches they had married fad set them up for.

    These me promptly escaped to the London Underground, where they survive as pimpers of women.

    If you have a hard-on, if no-one else will rub, then maybe you can hire…

    Sexy Toni, New in Town, Spanking Special.”

  21. on 02 Jun 2009 at 4:21 pm   pigfrottage

    Fifteen seventeenths of the readers think that this is stupid.

    If i’m right.

  22. on 02 Jun 2009 at 4:35 pm   David

    I only like 27.75% of statistics that are 43.8% meaningless.

    64% of all statistics are made up on the spot, but 47% of those statistics were asking for it.

  23. on 02 Jun 2009 at 4:39 pm   Throbbe

    Bugger me with a splintered fencepost. I just had a look around the christian party website. Even 88% of HYS contributors would regard them as hysterical fucktards. Disturbing.

  24. on 02 Jun 2009 at 4:40 pm   Set your faces to stunned

    @ David

    Too right they were, minxy little temptresses.

  25. on 02 Jun 2009 at 5:02 pm   James

    Maybe I’m just being slow, but is Charles saying women are liars or not? I was sure if I followed his argument through, I’d find out of he was pro- men or women, but the more I tried to do it the more I smelled toast and then collapsed onto the coffee table haemorraging.

  26. on 02 Jun 2009 at 5:15 pm   Bit Special

    Charles accidentally deleted the end section of his comment, which read:

    ‘What percentage of women would voluntarily have sex with me – 0%, 0% or 0%?’.

    The answer, of course, being 0%. Which is still 100% more than would shag Topsy.

  27. on 02 Jun 2009 at 7:04 pm   Obamooslim

    Why is nobody talking about female-on-female gang rape?

    We need to know the facts.

  28. on 02 Jun 2009 at 8:39 pm   rotwatcher

    @man in a long overcoat – Take the piss out of Guardian columnists all you like – I have a whole blog devoted to it. But leave Fiona Apple out of it or you’ll have me to answer to. Got it?

  29. on 02 Jun 2009 at 8:51 pm   Bit Special

    I conclude a tiny number of men rape several women each.

    Seems like the bastards are all on holiday together oop North:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_yorkshire/8079136.stm

    Although she was clearly asking for it. And then lying about it. It’s the men I feel sorry for – a terrified child leading them on by being in their presence and then forcing them to assault her and ruin her life just to relieve their pathetic power, ego and masculinity issues. She sickens me. Burn the witch-whore!

  30. on 02 Jun 2009 at 11:02 pm   joe

    Is that the same Christian Party that I can, should I wish to, vote for on Thursday? Surley not.

    I love this page

    http://www.christianparty.net/wtc.htm

    jews did 9/11

    up the arse

  31. on 03 Jun 2009 at 12:49 am   fucko the clown

    I’ve not found the forum on the christian party website and started posting stuff on there, oh no sir, it wasn’t me honest – like poking a stick in a hornets nest and shoving it up a bears arse….

  32. on 03 Jun 2009 at 1:29 am   Pirate Pete

    I just clicked on the link to the Christian Party site – oh dear.

    Hate-filled, racist, homophobic bigots to a man, but definitely not the Christian Party in the Euro elections, because the guy I saw canvassing in central London yesterday was… err… black. I get the impression they’re fervent pentecostalists (not quite in the same league as white supremacists tbh – they’re probably quite nice)

  33. on 03 Jun 2009 at 8:11 am   Oaf

    Charles here. I mean Jesus.

    Make your mind up, is it Charles or Jesus?

  34. on 03 Jun 2009 at 1:06 pm   Digger

    Make your mind up, is it Charles or Jesus?

    Never been seen in the same room though have they?

  35. on 03 Jun 2009 at 1:56 pm   TheViolentMajority

    I did see Charles in the same room as several mental healthcare professionals though.

  36. on 03 Jun 2009 at 2:28 pm   Gary

    Why is nobody talking about female-on-female gang rape?

    Nonsense, I talk about little else.

  37. on 03 Jun 2009 at 2:29 pm   Gary

    Grr, quoting gone wrong there. What’s the code for quotes? It isn’t

    Also, to enforce my post:

    What about that female on female gang raping eh? Phwoar!

  38. on 03 Jun 2009 at 3:13 pm   Far-Q

    Loved the RHS links on the nut site:

    jews/911

    Feedback

    dna

    RCC

    AIDS

    Home

    Surveys

    Holocaust

    IQ

    14th Amdt

    19th Amdt

    Israelites

    NWO

    Homicide

    Blacks

    Whites

    Signatory

    Talmud

    Watchman

    Gaelic

    TRAITORS

    Medicine?

  39. on 03 Jun 2009 at 3:23 pm   Far-Q

    And worse:

    http://www.christianparty.net/f/

    Forum
    Ain’t no nigger geniuses (1 Viewing)
    Koko the Gorilla’s iq was measured higher than Obama’s

    And now I feel actually quite unwell. I mean, how many generations of unnatural and heinous deviant acts would be needed between man, pig, rodeo pony and sister to create these sort of people?

  40. on 03 Jun 2009 at 6:01 pm   Bit Special

    I find your last comment deeply offensive, Far-Q. Everyone knows that pigs and horses are highly intelligent creatures.

  41. on 04 Jun 2009 at 10:34 am   Living-off-your-license-fee

    Nah, the Christian Party running in the European elections are a totally different brand of insane horrible bastards.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_Party_(UK)

  42. on 04 Jun 2009 at 12:18 pm   Wrathofthemath

    Did anyone else spot on the Christian Party (UK) wiki page that “James George Hargreaves (party leader), whilst a DJ in London shared a flat with his gay song-writing partner and wrote the gay anthem “So Macho” which was a hit in gay clubs in the United Kingdom in 1986.”?

    According to his own wiki page he also promoted Sinitta, Yaz and Five Star. Possibly a crime worse than leading this bunch of weirdos..

  43. on 04 Jun 2009 at 1:56 pm   Charles Exford, Oxton

    This amused me greatly:

    “The EU is nothing but the LAST GASP EFFORT of Rome to achieve a FARCE World Domination, i.e. stealing the inheritance from True Israyl using FALSE RELIGION AS A FRONT. IT should also be remembered, the religion is nothing more than a painted up version of Talmudic Judaim, which is nothing more than a form of the worship of Satan and his seedline. Make sure YOU have NO connection of that pagan filthy religion in your walk. I can assure you, the daughters of the whore are still very whorish in many regards. COME OUT OF HER MY PEOPLE!”

    I bet UKIP never thought of that…