Thanks to Ellie and Sam.
I recently asked why the emergency buttons at stations are green rather than the logical and expected red.
I was told it was to be consistent with Europe. Guess which way I’ll be voting! For me, this is the most bizarre Euro-decision I’ve encountered. Enough is enough. They must be colour-blind in Brussels.
Martin Watson, Teddington, United Kingdom
Who was it you asked? Was it a guy you met in the pub? Or a face you drew on your own hand?
These ones are too easy. Not just for us to shoot down, but for the poster as well. All the edginess of thinking for yourself, with none of the thinking.
I look forward to the chance to vote BNP. Nothing says “Vote BNP” quite like being told “Don’t vote BNP”
Alison, Colnbrook with Poyle
In that case Alison, vote BNP. And look both ways before you cross the street.
33 Responses to “Gullible and Contrary”
Nope, the most bizarre Euro-decision you’ve encountered was the decision to ratify the Convention on Human Rights – thus enshrining the right to life for assclowns like you in law.
Come midnight tonight I shall be petitioning my new MEP to support the “EU convention on beating fucktards to death with sticks” thus ridding us of this hateful Human Rights Legislation.
Methinks you couldn’t make it up.
And I’m in agreement with Alison. Nothing riles me more than dictats from Broon’s nanny state and his lapdogs in the press. In fact I’m off to drink a bottle of Prussic Acid right now – just because those do-gooders at the HSE have told me not to!
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it you liberal, pinko, commie, darkie loving scum!!!
I bet they don’t dare publish this!!!!
“Enough is enough. They must be colour-blind in Brussels.”
If they were colour-blind in Brussels, we wouldn’t have a problem. We could just SAY the buttons were green and they’d have no way of knowing.
I had that once, was off school for weeks then I went out and threw a few Nazi salutes before beating up a darkie.
why do they have to discriminate against red and green, both have the right to co-exist. I think i’ll paint my balls – one red and one green then camp outside parliament in protest.
I picked the wrong week to quit glue sniffing
…and there was me thinking that nothing says “don’t vote BNP” quite like living somewhere where the BNP have been active with their firebombs and dogshit through letterboxes, stabbing Asian kids, swastikas on Jewish graves, queerbashing, drugdealing, protection racketeering and other assorted filth.
I guess Colnbrook with (or without) Poyle is nowhere near East London then.
Alison – what a titanic moronic fuckwit.
How different the history of the 20th C. would have been if only Chamberlain hadn’t said:
Don’t burn down the Reichstag
Don’t pass the Nuremberg Laws
Don’t invade Poland
Etc.
If only he’d realized that foreign policy is really like trying to get a 3-year old to put her wellies on.
Whatever you do Alison, dont run with scissors.
Is the rule that emergency buttons should be green, and fire alarm buttons should be red?
Ironically it is a HYSer that I could most easily imagine repeatedly pressing a big red button marked “Not a fire alarm”, wondering why the fire brigade hasn’t arrived.
How very true. And indeed I find that nothing says “Smear dogshit in your hair and go running around shouting ‘Quiver, Mortals, for I am Griffin the Barnet Haemorrhoid’” like being told “Don’t smear dogshit in your hair and don’t go running around shouting ‘Quiver, Mortals, for I am Griffin the Barnet Haemorrhoid’”. Goodness me no. I for one have already done so, or not; I get confused.
Fact. If I’m right.
PS Alison, “Colnbrook with Poyle”, there is a special gallery in Hell for people like you. You won’t like it. Perhaps you should repent now, or at least try not to be a complete imbecile.
Joking apart, I must say I am pretty impressed with the manly resolution of that “Enough is enough.” Once Martin Watson, Twatington, United Kingdom, has said “Enough is enough” I think we may pretty reasonably expect that decisive action will soon follow. Martin Twatson is a reflective and careful person and once he says “Enough is enough” – well, watch out Europe, is all I can say. We haven’t just let all those Ghurkas in for nothing, you know. Screw with Fartin Martin at your peril! Enough is enough! Fact.
I know I for one certainly haven’t, but I have a friend who does, and she says the Tescos ones are just as good. If I’m Martin Watson.
Digger says:
- and yet, and yet, in one of the most sinister developments so far, they actually HAVE. The scheming bastards. Bloody Jewish-dominated bleedingheart media conspiracy. And this proves it. Fight back now England, before its to late! I for one will be doing so, methinks. If it was good enough for Winston Churchill then it will be good enough for me! (PROUD BRITTON.)
Shit, Martin – I can’t believe I missed this. The emergency stop button on the treadmill at my local gym is… wait for it… red! They’re defying those EU bastards! Or maybe it’s some kind of commy subliminal messaging… either way, I’m casting my MEP vote tonight by punching that red button. That’ll learn ‘em.
I just want to vote against both sets of pointless neoliberal cretin Maggie impersonators, anyone who’s more interested in melanin than serotonin, anyone who prefers trees to people, anyone who believes that the infinite creator of the universe needs a vote to get his chosen prophet into power in East Anglia, and anyone who’s doing it for a laugh.
That leaves the communists and the ****ing Liberals. Given their respective track records on public art, I think a vote for increased tractor production may be in order.
I’m with Martin on this one. I AM actually a resident of Teddington myself and have frequented that station (usually in the shadows, by the bike sheds).
Anyway – I digress. The emergency button he speaks of is a very big button, set alone in the centre of a big white circle of plastic with a big sign above it stating inter-alia “If you’re being unconsentedly bummed by a tramp or have witnessed alien abduction from platform 2 then PRESS THIS BIG FUCKING BUTTON!”.
Alas, the button is definitely green, not red. I frequently suffer from severe internal injuries and loss of consciousness due to this inconsiderate euro-legislation.
Britain’s EU membership also conincided with salt and vinegar crisp packets changing to green from light blue, and cheese and onion becoming dark fucking blue, not green.
Is there anything these Eurotwats will not meddle with?
I’d be more inclined to vote for anyone who’s doing it for a laugh. At least we’d have some fun.
And yet European directive EN 418 requires all emergency stop buttons on machinery to be red. And mushroom shaped. Is Martin Watson referring to the “I’m being bum-raped” emergency button, because they’re not actually connected to anything anyway? Maybe this is a conspiracy to stop people pressing the emergency button and discovering it doesn’t actually summon Superman?
Well, durrrr! It’s green because it’s made out of Kryptonite, as per EN418, so of course it’s not going to call Superman.
The big green button activates the Bat Signal. As any fule no.
(EN 418 was drafted by short-arsed italian plumbers, so it’s only natural that it specifies that the emergency stop button should be mushroom shaped.)
http://www.netlawman.co.uk/health-safety/safety-signs-signals.php
“Red is a safety colour and must be used for any:
(…)
Danger alarm concerning stop, shutdown, emergency cut out devices, evacuate (eg. the safety colour of an emergency stop button on equipment);
Greenis a safety colour and must be used for:
* Emergency escape signs (…)
* No danger (e.g. for ‘return to normal’).”
HYSer in “talking bollocks” shocker.
Nothing says vote BNP like being a pigthick, racist cunt.
Bit S.must be particularly rattled by this latest example of basketed twattery on HYS. No gentle barbed wit, just outright venom. Not that I’m saying I’m not with her on this, just acknowledging that things must bad indeed. If I’m right.
Clovis, I’m very tired today (pity we insomniacs), a member of Unite Against Fascism and BNP members/supporters ARE pigthick, racist cunts. Also, I was on the bus at the time of writing and staring at the minuscule phone screen whilst typing was making me feel sick.
But not as sick as the BNP make me feel, boom boom! Will that do?
Just been to the polls and you can’t even vote for Hitler. Fucking BBC!
We’re working on it. Cloning is a wonderful thing. Mind you I am not sure I would like him any more, even if we were reunited, but, you know … sentimental attachment and all that. Ah well.
I’d just like to point out that some of that stuff seemed like quite a good idea at the time. You know how it is when you’ve had a drink or two. Plus we didn’t think you lot’d be so bloody picky about Poland after letting us stroll all over the Czechs. That Chamberlain, what a laugh, eh?
Mind you I’m just an old dick, so what would I know about right-wing politics?
Oh and PS – I may be just a detached dick but Alison is a complete cunt. And your man Martin Watson and his red and green fucking buttons – a dog’s bumhole, only less clever and amusing. Fuck ‘em both.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Fascists!
I couldn’t even fucking vote, because the council refused to believe we live here as the last tenants haven’t changed their address (mainly because they’ve run off debts at this address, yeah, cheers), THEN after we managed to convince them we did, they couldn’t come to terms with the freakish concept of me being a ‘Ms’, then sent us pre-filled-out forms with both our names* spelt wrong (with ‘Miss’ on mine, of course), then wouldn’t process them with the alterations, then sent us new forms – with new wrong name spellings – the day AFTER the registration deadline had passed.
Bet this wouldn’t happen if the BNP were in charge!
Mainly ‘cos they’d be packing me onto a boat/cattle train, seeing as one of my great-great-granddads was black and I’m 1/8 Jewish. Hey, it was enough for Hitler.
Just had to have a moan about it. As you were.
*As The Young Fella only has 3 letters in his first name, this is quite a feat. Everyone spells my fucking *real* name wrong, the thick cunts.
> we didn’t think you lot’d be so bloody picky about Poland after letting us stroll all over the Czechs
I told you when I wrote to congratulate you on how well that went, you should have invaded _Romania_ next. Romania, not Poland. See, if you’d listened to the Daily Mail…
> I’d be more inclined to vote for anyone who’s doing it for a laugh.
Careful, that’s how I got into power…
Yes. Shame about that. Hitler himself was quite keen on the Daily Mail but Goering, who had a bit more class, persuaded him it was a very inferior newspaper and only suitable for use in the lavatory (not for reading). So he didn’t see most of the nice and helpful things the Mail said about him. Pity, eh?
wuff wuff wuff
Daily Mail
puke!
“I recently asked why the emergency buttons at stations are green rather than the logical and expected red.”
Red was deemed to be offensive to muslims.